Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > U.S. REGIONAL FORUMS > OREGON > Oregon General Prison Talk, Introductions & Chit Chat
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Oregon General Prison Talk, Introductions & Chit Chat Topics & Discussions relating to Prison & the Criminal Justice System in Oregon that do not fit into any other Oregon sub-forum category. Please feel free to also introduce yourself to other members in the state and talk about whatever topics come to mind that may not have anything to do with prison.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 03-13-2020, 09:16 PM
Boots45 Boots45 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: Oregon, United States
Posts: 3
Thanks: 7
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default Sex offender question

I know someone who just received 27 years. Felony Sex Offender. I hear lots of things about what happens to these people in prison. Heís still in intake and will then be transferred I assume. Will he be in PC? Will he be harassed? I know this person, but not for who he is or what he did. I fully believe itís a deserved sentence. And not enough time was given. To be honest, itís my brother. My entire family is shattered due to this. But again, itís deserved. I just have questions and nobody will talk about it.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Boots45 For This Useful Post:
fbopnomore (03-14-2020)
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 03-14-2020, 06:58 AM
Ms Sunny Ms Sunny is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Northern NY
Posts: 1,074
Thanks: 2,058
Thanked 1,083 Times in 481 Posts
Default

No hard and fast rules for this. He’ll have to tell you when he gets there.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Ms Sunny For This Useful Post:
Boots45 (03-14-2020)
  #3  
Old 03-14-2020, 07:28 AM
GingerM's Avatar
GingerM GingerM is offline
Super Moderator
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 6,029
Thanks: 8,317
Thanked 9,065 Times in 3,530 Posts
Default

My Dad was given a 10 year sentence as a sex offender. He was 72 and on blood thinners at the time. I was terrified for him because his case hit the news and all it would take is one punch and he'd bleed out internally.

But. Nothing happened. Oh, sure, he had people talk smack to him. He had people (both inmates and staff) speak to him disparagingly. But he was never once in any kind of physical altercation. He did die in prison - of lung cancer. His death had nothing at all to do with his offense or with any kind of actions by inmates or guards.

Your brother will be considered the lowest of the low, and will have to deal with that. But the sex offenders stick together and there is safety in numbers. He will probably (eventually) even make a friend or two inside.

Yes, these events tear up families. Mine was torn up. I don't know anyone whose family wasn't torn up. I promise that things will stabilize - maybe the family will stick together, maybe not, but things will stabilize. It's been 9 years since my Dad's arrest. My family is all speaking to each other again, though some relationships are more strained than others. But it has stabilized, and honestly, the strained relationships were strained before his arrest - the arrest just brought that strain out into the light more.

I strongly recommend that you visit the forum here on PTO called Loving a Sex Offender - http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=101 . Even if you don't post there, go read. You'll find a lot of support there.

And welcome to PTO. I'm sorry you needed us, but am glad you found us. You won't be judged here, and it's a safe place to work out your worries.

Post all your questions, whether is sex offender specific or Oregon Prison specific. Someone will be along to answer them within a day or so.

Last edited by GingerM; 03-14-2020 at 07:39 AM..
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to GingerM For This Useful Post:
Boots45 (03-14-2020), Born (03-14-2020), fbopnomore (03-14-2020), patchouli (03-15-2020), yourself (03-14-2020)
  #4  
Old 03-14-2020, 08:58 AM
fbopnomore fbopnomore is offline
Site Moderator
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 30,232
Thanks: 48,625
Thanked 23,476 Times in 13,490 Posts
Default

Welcome to Prison Talk. Your brother's experiences in prison will depend on how he interacts with the other inmates and staff at his specific prison, inmate etiquette.
http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/sho...=592193&page=2

He should choose his friends/associates carefully. Many times SOs stick with other SOs for support or safety.

Being as invisible as possible is also important, especially at the beginning. Attempting to explain his case to others will likely be considered as "making excuses" or minimizing what he did.

The only people he owes an explanation to are those folks he decides to tell.
__________________

Last edited by fbopnomore; 03-14-2020 at 09:29 AM..
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to fbopnomore For This Useful Post:
Boots45 (03-14-2020), GingerM (03-14-2020), patchouli (03-15-2020)
  #5  
Old 03-14-2020, 11:20 AM
Boots45 Boots45 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: Oregon, United States
Posts: 3
Thanks: 7
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

I don’t think it’s going to be easy for him. And I don’t think it should be. He raped his daughter, my niece, from the age of 5. She’s 16 now. My parents have custody of both his children. I am thankful for that. My dad is taking this the hardest. I think I say that because he won’t talk about it and is very cranky. Every. Day. I don’t know how my mom does it. Except amazing family support. And my two aunts are present every day. To help with everything.
I haven’t seen him since his arrest. I didn’t go to his sentencing. I wasn’t ready. I struggle with wanting to go see him. Because I don’t think he’s the person I know. And I don’t want to be associated with him for who he is now. Is there a forum for discussions like this? I don’t really understand forums or how to navigate in them. Thank you for your answers so far. This is tough.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 03-14-2020, 02:49 PM
fbopnomore fbopnomore is offline
Site Moderator
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 30,232
Thanks: 48,625
Thanked 23,476 Times in 13,490 Posts
Default

Since your brother is a sex offender, a universally hated group, another forum to check is the Loving a sex offender forum too. Be sure to scroll through the blank space to locate the other threads which appear at the bottom of the forum.
http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=101

Prison is not easy for anyone, but that is especially true for convicted child molesters. My advice is to take as much time as you need to decide if you want to reach out to your brother, and if you do, to what extent. A 27 year sentence means there is no need to rush your decision, so do whatever is best for you.
__________________

Last edited by fbopnomore; 03-14-2020 at 02:52 PM..
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to fbopnomore For This Useful Post:
safran (03-14-2020), Visitor611 (03-14-2020)
  #7  
Old 03-15-2020, 09:42 AM
GingerM's Avatar
GingerM GingerM is offline
Super Moderator
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 6,029
Thanks: 8,317
Thanked 9,065 Times in 3,530 Posts
Default

Something to consider: Your Dad was doing this behavior for the last 11 years. During that time you "knew him". This is not something new that popped up overnight. You just didn't know about this aspect of him. Now you know about this aspect of him. Does that change who he is or was? We all have deep dark secrets we don't want the world to know. How would you feel if your deepest, darkest, most humiliating secret was bared to the world in a court of law?

I'm not telling you which way to choose. That is a decision each person must make for themselves. I chose to continue to stay in touch with my Dad. None of the rest of my family did. Only my sister still struggles with it - and that because she didn't get a chance to make peace with him before he died (lung cancer) because "she wasn't ready to face him" even though I all but begged her to come out to see him just once before he died. Now she wishes she'd done so, but he's dead so there's no possibility of her creating closure.

I know people who walked away from their family member, I know people who supported them. I know people who only stayed in touch via mail (Kind of splitting the middle between no-contact and full-contact).

It does turn your picture of your Dad upside down and inside out. That is something you might want to reconcile before making any permanent decisions. Also, just because you can't face him now does not mean you won't be able to face him in the future. Now, everything is fresh and raw. Later, you will develop a new normal.

I do recommend that you go visit our "Loving a Sex Offender" forum. That is where you will find a phenomenal amount of support. http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=101 As FBoP said, scroll down (and check out the sticky post on how to reformat that forum - for some reason, it never has formatted correctly.)
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to GingerM For This Useful Post:
fbopnomore (03-15-2020)
  #8  
Old 03-15-2020, 09:45 AM
GingerM's Avatar
GingerM GingerM is offline
Super Moderator
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Oregon, USA
Posts: 6,029
Thanks: 8,317
Thanked 9,065 Times in 3,530 Posts
Default

Also, I'm very glad to hear that your family is pulling together behind your parents and supporting as much as they can. This is a really difficult situation. Going through it alone is horrific.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to GingerM For This Useful Post:
Boots45 (03-16-2020)
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
felony conviction, sex offender

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Question about Sex Offender...... xxlonelygirlxx Texas Parole, Probation, Work Release & Community Service 5 10-27-2008 11:04 AM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:28 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2019 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics