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  #1  
Old 01-10-2007, 11:36 PM
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Default What if he cheated?

Just a hypothetical qustion....can you forgive your man for having a relationship with another woman?

For me, I have always struggled with this because i would never, could never cheat on my fiance. i was cheated on once, by a man who was addicted to drugs and i let it go, because i know he was not in his right mind. does that excuse it? no...not really. but can i forgive? under certain circumstances...maybe. Just wanted to see what your thoughts are on this, as we are staying strong for our men, what if they had a moment of weakness?
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  #2  
Old 01-10-2007, 11:42 PM
EricNLynsA EricNLynsA is offline
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Default NOPE!!!! Already did.

I could NEVER do that again.


I did forgive him for the first 5 years of cheating. Don't ask me what I was or am thinking today besides I love him but I can say if I even have a hint of it going on again I wil drop him faster than he even knows what happen.

I will NOT go through that again. I will get out quick to save myself the pain.

Been there, done that, not going back.

I say cut it cold turkey. If I have to cheat I will be with that person and be honest.
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  #3  
Old 01-11-2007, 06:46 AM
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i couldn't forgive him..and i wouldn't beleive him if he said "i was weak and couldnt help it" because i've been weak within the time he's been locked up and i haven't cheated on him once..so that would just be an excuse..he lied to me before about a girl writing to him and i won't put up with it anymore..i'm in love with him very much,but i wouldn't sell myself short..
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Old 01-11-2007, 06:49 AM
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I think it would depend on the whole situation. It was a one time thing and he got caught and was sorry for it, I probably would. I mean I have waited how long for him to get out that whats one more thing to let fly.
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Old 01-11-2007, 07:19 AM
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me personally i don't think i could forgive him! Ive been in alot of relationships and everytime theyve cheated and promised never to do it again they lied
but thats just me
maybe you are with a good guy who "REALLY wont do it AGAIN!"
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Old 01-11-2007, 07:53 AM
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Default what if he cheats

I'd tell him to go f*** himself,and I'd be done,...PERIOD!!! There wouldn't be any second chances. I've been there,done that,won't ever tolerate it again! WHY,...what's the point? My opinion is that if 2 people are truely in love with each other,then they don't cheat on each other,it's as simple as that. If my man cheats on me,then that tells me that there's something lacking in our relationship,and we're not meant for one another.
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Old 01-11-2007, 08:08 AM
Franklinsgirl Franklinsgirl is offline
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Amen Big Mama, exactly been there, done that, not ever going back to that Sh*t.
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Old 01-11-2007, 08:28 AM
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It's a personal choice...but I can honestly say in the future, I would never, ever, ever do that again, either. Been there, done that! I have never cheated, and I don't think it's too much to ask for a guy who doesn't cheat. Life is too short.
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Old 01-11-2007, 09:12 AM
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He knows the rules...if he wants to break em, he can find a new game to play.
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Old 01-11-2007, 09:32 AM
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I would never accept it not with any excuse. Because if I except that he got weak one time then what's to say he won't get weak again. I just can't except cheating especially after over four years of waiting for him and never cheating.
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Old 01-11-2007, 10:37 AM
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Yes, I can forgive cheating. I think it is unrealistic in this day and age that two people will only have sex with each other for the rest of their lives. However, love and sex are two diffrent issues to me. My man suggestion is to find other couples to swing with to prevent this. I have never swinged before so I don't know what I will do when the time comes when we need that extra kick to our sex lives.

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  #12  
Old 01-11-2007, 10:47 AM
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In every thread like this I say the same thing, I'd be gone. I could forgive him but I wouldn't stay with him. I'm not some youngster just discovering what life is all about. I've been cheated on and also been the cheater in past relationships and have since my divorce taken the time to decide what kind of relationship I want to have in my life. There are many on here that like to say that it's silly to say what you would definitely do since you won't know until it happens or that you might not really love your man as much as you say you do if you would be willing to leave him over a possible mistake. Well I know what I would do and I know that sometimes love is not enough to hold a relationship together. It's not even the cheating that I mind so much. What I hate are the lies that cover for the bad behavior and the fact that there is at least one person, if not more that know something about my relationship that I don't. I don't do secrets, lies or disrespect so that is what would end it for me, not the sex.
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Old 01-11-2007, 12:58 PM
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No, I would not forgive my man. He knows that is a serious offense to me. Just as I would never expect him to forgive me.
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Old 01-11-2007, 01:13 PM
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I think that he has to prove to me that he loves me. And then go get tested for everything. Then we could work on it. I mean I would want to know what she did for him that I dont. What's wrong with our relationship that he felt he had to. Forgive him yes, trust him again hmmm not for a while
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Old 01-11-2007, 01:20 PM
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it would be very easy for me to says i could never forgive him for committing such a betrayal.....in my own mind thats how i feel!!!!! but the reality of it will perhaps be different.....its not so easy to just up and leave and say its over to the man ive loved since i first laid eyes on him 10yrs ago...who is also my husband!!!!!! matters of the heart cannot be dismissed easily!!!! so in essence what im saying i dont know what i would do...should something like that happen....ive told him....i would never forgive him if he betrayed me....and i would divorce him!!!!!! but i know in my hearts of hearts nothing is that easy!!!!!

and thats a wrap!!!!
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Old 01-11-2007, 03:00 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by allenwood
He knows the rules...if he wants to break em, he can find a new game to play.
haha LOVE this response..tell em girl..
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Old 01-11-2007, 03:04 PM
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I did this before. not with him but its the same pain .
At this day and age I cant deal with the foolishness. He can play if he wants to.
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Old 01-11-2007, 03:44 PM
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I struggling to forgive cuz i'm not sure i want too.
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Old 01-11-2007, 05:43 PM
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can you forgive your man for having a relationship with another woman?


If he lied about it... no, I would not forgive.

If we had an understanding about it, then there would be nothing to forgive (then again, it wouldn't be considered "cheating"!).

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Old 01-11-2007, 06:29 PM
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My man cheated on me right before he went in. I only forgave him because of how crazy both of our lives were at that time. If he were to do it when he comes home, then not only is he hurting the one person who had his back while locked up, but he would ruin any chance of me and him. Period....
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Old 01-11-2007, 10:22 PM
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I can not say that I would or wouldn't forgive him if he touched another woman... I would have to be put in that place to know for sure... I can say I would never forget and I could never trust him again and I don't know if I could ever be with him without seeing her there..

I know that he would never forgive me if I was to be with anyone else and if he expects me to be fathful to him then I expect the same from him!

I do know that he did have a offer inside there when a CO was over a desk with two other guys and wanted him to come join them... like he told me, the only thing I thought of was Deb would kill me and I don't want that bad enough to risk what I have now... he did say that if it had of been 6-7 years ago he would have taken her up on the offer but not now. It was a good thing he didn't cause the Capt. was watching though the window at what was going on... the woman was escorted off the property stripped of her job and her place to live cause she was in CO housing and the guys got shipped out and lost their gain time. the Capt seen George get called in the room but also seen him turn around and walk back out... he called him out after it all went down and asked him why he didn't say anything... George just looked at him and said it wasn't his business to say anything.
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  #22  
Old 01-11-2007, 10:24 PM
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this is kinda how i feel, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on ME!! he knows the line and if e crosses it again, ill show him the door real quick. i didnt spend all of this time waiting and taking care of him to be screwed over, so you better believe he wont be forgiven again.

the one thing that has been really hard is the forgetting....i ave forgiven him, but every once in a while i remember someting he said or the way i felt or see the face of te other girl, and i get this sick feeling....im working on letting it go because he was out of his mind, but i struggle with it. forgiving and forgetting are two different things.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by RJwifey
My man cheated on me right before he went in. I only forgave him because of how crazy both of our lives were at that time. If he were to do it when he comes home, then not only is he hurting the one person who had his back while locked up, but he would ruin any chance of me and him. Period....
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  #23  
Old 01-11-2007, 10:40 PM
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I would forgive him, not for him but for me, but I would and could not stay with him.
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Old 01-12-2007, 08:40 AM
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If my man cheated on me I dont know what I would do honestly. I would feel betrayed and very heart broken. I would feel very crushed because I have put everything I have physically and emotionally in the relationship for him to just throw it all away for someone else. I would be very hurt. I think it would hurt more for him to lie to me about something and then find out that he cheated without him telling me. I think it would be easier for him to man up and let me know and then take it from there then for it to happen behind my back and never be told about it. But Honestly I dont know if I could stay with him after that. I have been 100 with him and ask for the same from him.
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  #25  
Old 01-12-2007, 09:09 AM
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By nature, I am a forgiving person. I would forgive, but it would then take A LOT OF WORKING THROUGH to follow! I know that things happen and people don't always use their best judgement. Such is life! I have made mistakes... and I don't forget that I am no one to judge. If the realtionship is worth it to me, I would stay and work it out... if it is a repeat occurrence, that's another story....
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