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Old 06-25-2004, 02:47 PM
Jenuwine Jenuwine is offline
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Default I think hubby is scared!

I just had Gastric Bypass surgery 2 1/2 weeks ago. However, ever since I made the decision to get it done a year ago hubby and I have been having some problems. I think he is afraid he'll lose me after I lose the weight. He won't come out and tell me that is the problem though. He also doesn't understand what I'm currently going through. He wants me to come and visit this weekend, which I will however, he doesn't realize that I was just given the okay to drive again. He's 6 hours away and my stomach muscles are very sore. I've been nauseas for 4 days now and everything I TRY to eat comes right back out. How can I enjoy a visit under these circumstances. Also, I'm to eat 6 tiny meals a day. The prison isn't going to have anything that I'm able to eat, I can't stop just anywhere along the way since I'm very limited right now in what I can choose from, my stomach and back have been killing me and he expected me to run 3 hours out of the way to his family's place before I headed 6 hours up to see him. I guess he thinks just because I'm out of the hospital and allowed to come back to work everything is fine and dandy. I try to reassure him about not losing me but I guess in his position it is hard to believe. I guess time will have to prove it to him.
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Old 06-25-2004, 03:44 PM
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bfawayinpa bfawayinpa is offline
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that is a tough one.tell him he has to understand you can't come with just having surgery. keep reassuring him you his girl. tell him a million times if you have to till you convince him.
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Old 06-28-2004, 08:25 PM
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You need to take care of you, that's some major surgery. I think he's being selfish to ask you to come before you are properly recovered. He can wait, no offense but it's not like he's going anywhere! Don't get me wrong I know you love him and want him to feel secure but what about you, huh? Take your time, do what you need to do to get your health back. Best of luck to you.

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Old 06-28-2004, 08:45 PM
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MsChiku MsChiku is offline
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Jennifer, I'm concerned about you! Why didn't the Dr. have you off for at least 4-6 weeks from work. You need time to heal and adjust to these tiny meals. You need to let the Dr. know about this 6hr trip you're contemplating, I'm sure he'd say NO. What if you have a relapse, then what? Furthermore, say what you need to say to your man, write what you need to write to profess your love. He's feeling insecure. But that's no reason to jepordize your health, your life! Take care

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Old 06-29-2004, 12:36 AM
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Wow, I'm sorry, but your health HAS to come before someone else's insecurities - no matter how much you love them. That sounds downright dangerous to me - the drive this soon after surgery. That's major, major surgery. You said you'd been nauseous, etc., what if you pass out/faint while driving or something? I agree w/the above - talk to your dr. AND also latina is right - your husband, sad to say, will still be there when you have fully recuperated. Please take care!
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Old 06-29-2004, 12:53 AM
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take care of you, and all else will fall into place.
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Old 06-29-2004, 10:14 AM
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2 1/2 weeks is not enough time to have recovered. Have you tried telling your husband how you are still sore and cant keep down meals.

I would really reconsider going. Do you have anyone that can drive you and go to visit with you? That would probably be the only way I would go.

I know two people that have had that surgery done. Please take care of yourself.
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Old 06-29-2004, 02:03 PM
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Keltria Keltria is offline
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You are a brave girl to have done that surgery and it is a dangerous operation. You need to take care of you for him. I suggest you tell him that a drive that long would not be a good thing, not so quickly. You need to really know that if something goes wrong you are hours away from your doctor.
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Old 06-30-2004, 07:35 AM
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[ First, CONGRATULATIONS on the surgery! I had mine almost nine months ago and have lost 125 pounds and it was the BEST decision I have ever made! My husband is also worried that when I am "skinny" which I will NEVER BE, I will find someone else. I always tell him "if they didn't want anything to do with me when I was 400#, they don't need to want anything to do with me now" and that is exaclty how I feel about that. You didn't like me fat, I don't like now that I aint so fat no more!" If you don't think you can handle the drive, I wouldn't make it. My surgeon compared that surgery to "being hit by a truck" (I had the RNY, open. My incision is 14 and a half inches long and I had 61 staples. If you are still on the liquid thing, or even whatever you are able to eat, throw it in the cooler for in the car. There is usually juice and stuff in the machines. I don't know how long your visits are (longer than mine I hope!) and I don't know about you, but my first few weeks, when I was supposed to eat the 2 ounces at a time, eight times a day, I got TIRED of eating, seemed like I was eating all the time and I was never hungry. I would BEG Ron to let me "Skip" one meal. I dont' think it will hurt anything. You probablay won't overeat (like maybe THREE ounces!) that next meal. I drove before I was supposed to and I never had any problems. I hope whatever you choose to do, it all works out for you. If you decide not to go, he should understand and if he doesn't at first, because it will be a disappointment that your'e not coming, he will understand later. Take care of YOURSELF. He's going to still be there when it's time to visit again and you feel better. I wish you all the luck that I had with the surgery. Let me know how things are going for you! ~Jan
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