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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Does he ask for too much money?
No, not at all 351 58.89%
Sometime he does 165 27.68%
Way to much money 55 9.23%
He sends money instead 40 6.71%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 596. You may not vote on this poll

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  #251  
Old 03-22-2018, 05:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Wallflower78me View Post
When yall talk of sending food , packages - how is that done. I thought you could only send packages through like Amazon etc ?
That's whoever his prison goes thru for food packages. There is certain doc vendors for that. Amazon would never be one of them. Amazon is good for books, notebooks, and magazines too. Non food.
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  #252  
Old 03-22-2018, 07:01 PM
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I don’t think my bf asks for too much...but sometimes his reaction to the answer pisses me and his sister off. We usually send food packages once a week,in addition to the load of money needed on our phones, about $40-50. But when he talks about the “small” packages it really gets irritating because I know there are ppl in there that get NO packages. Today he was disappointed I didn’t drop money on his books at visiting...and I found out he owed someone soda tokens. Smh. Once a hustler, always a hustler. Slowly “retraining” him and setting some firm boundaries. Hopefully, he’ll leave a little more appreciative and less demanding.
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  #253  
Old 03-22-2018, 07:51 PM
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He's never asked me for money. I am the one that offered to help him. I can only send $30 a month. The only thing he asks me to do is to make sure I keep $ on our phone and because our calls are under a $1 each I'm happy to do that. He has asked me to please get him puzzle books or to look for free magazines.
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  #254  
Old 03-22-2018, 09:09 PM
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I send him money for our phone calls, too much really (tee-hee) but we talk sometimes 4 times a day. He never asks for money though. He just tells me when we only have like 2 calls left, etc. He takes care of all his other needs as he has a job outside of prison (they call it private sector jobs when they work off the prison grounds) making $10 per/hr. (a lot for prison). His family sends him money occasionally too.
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  #255  
Old 03-22-2018, 09:14 PM
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Mine hardly ever asks for money, like ItsMe81 says, he only asks to keep some money on phone time, because he tells me talking to me and the kids are more important. I will throw $30-40 on on his books if I have it, otherwise phones I throw about $10-20 a week, whatever I have. His grandmother is the one who puts about $40-$50 a month on his books, but then he'll buy some ramen and his fave candy and then the rest on phone lol!
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  #256  
Old 03-23-2018, 02:57 AM
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He don't care if she has bills and kids to support, all he cares about is HIM! When the money is gone will he still be there?? She betta wake up!
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  #257  
Old 03-23-2018, 04:36 AM
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Originally Posted by ItsMe81 View Post
That's whoever his prison goes thru for food packages. There is certain doc vendors for that. Amazon would never be one of them. Amazon is good for books, notebooks, and magazines too. Non food.


Thank you! Ive been feeling really bad, just laying down after work. I need to text you!
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  #258  
Old 03-23-2018, 12:09 PM
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He don't care if she has bills and kids to support, all he cares about is HIM! When the money is gone will he still be there?? She betta wake up!
Not all people are like that. Sorry if you had a bad experience.
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  #259  
Old 03-27-2018, 02:54 PM
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No he doesn't ask for anything, and when I do send him something he fusses at me because he doesn't want me to support him. He tells me he got himself into the mess he's in and he will take care of himself, for me to just worry about things out here.
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  #260  
Old 03-27-2018, 03:08 PM
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My man doesn't ask me for money, he knows if I have it I will help him out. Do small things to make his time a bit easier... I buy him coffee and snacks here and there. Hygiene products when needed... But those are basics. If your friend is able to do these things financially and he treats her good, then I don't see an issue. If she is struggling to get by because he wants these things, then that's a different story. I know if I could do more for my guy then I would. But he understands life, he's been through the struggle.
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  #261  
Old 03-27-2018, 03:09 PM
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I WISH he would ask!! I wish he would let me know what he needs...i send him packages every now and then and sometimes money and he has MAJOR beef with it...always grateful, but insistent that i SHOULD NOT be spending my money on him.
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  #262  
Old 05-01-2018, 06:00 PM
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I don't have a boyfriend / husband in jail... I have a baby daddy. I do not send him money nor fund his phone calls to our daughter. He doesnt ask BUT he does always ask to ask his family for money , hes always talking about how they don't send enough , or the last 2 phone calls he has high key hinted hes using his own money for the phone calls and it's running low.

turns out his sister is putting $100 a month! If he were to ask i would say no. that seems a lot to me, since its $3 for 15 minutes and he only get 4 phone calls a week. either he only eating commissary food or he owes money.
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  #263  
Old 05-01-2018, 09:08 PM
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The only time my boyfriend asked for money was to help him get a tv, his grandma normally sends money but something happened and he didn’t want to ask her so he asked me instead. I love him and I want him to be comfortable and happy but I told him that was it but knowing me and how much I care for him I’ll be probably send him money if needed.
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  #264  
Old 05-11-2018, 05:03 AM
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My husband doesn't ask for money, period, except for phone time and tablet messages.
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  #265  
Old 05-11-2018, 05:02 PM
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Sometimes mine will ask but than will turn around and tell me I don't need to put any in his account. But the thing that gets me is when he starts talking about the thing he's doing without. I'll tell him his not the only one doing without and then he gets upset and tells me "well just don't put anything on the phone or my account, just make sure I have stamp to write you." Sometimes I just want to scream at him and tell him to stop being an a* *. I'm the only income we have and I have my bills first and he knows this. I know it's hard in there for them, but they have to remember it hard for us too.
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  #266  
Old 05-22-2018, 12:42 PM
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I'm gonna brag on my man for a second here. He's never asked for money, but was transferred to a different facility a month ago. He had to trade a bunch of stuff for stamps so he could write to me. I sent him some money the next week (we've been in contact for a year and it's the first time I've ever sent him anything). He told me that he didn't want me to send him money and that I didn't need to ever feel like I should. When I went to visit him on Sunday, he said he spent it all on stamps
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  #267  
Old 06-20-2018, 10:50 AM
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just a question, maybe wrong place to ask this BUT do the inmates know who sent them money? Like if you put $20 on their books, does it show you did it? Or they just have $20 on their books?
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  #268  
Old 08-10-2018, 01:05 PM
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Has anyone had their family member ask for large sums of money? like $300 extra (in addition to a monthly amount we already send for toiletries). Last month our son asked for $500 and said he owed it to someone that he had gotten stuff from when he was out of commissary. Federal system. We are thinking he is getting bullied or pressured in some way. He will call family members for whom he doesn't have a phone plan(which costs a lot more)and sound as if he really needs money. What could be going on?
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  #269  
Old 08-10-2018, 05:35 PM
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Either extortion or really big debt! maybe drugs?
I've seen some other posts like your question, and ive seen them get two different types of answers. 1 is DONT send the money, it will continue. 2. send the money or it could end badly. i'm sorry I have never dealt with that, but that is the advice I have seen when asked a question similar like that. I hope everything is okay and turns out for the best.
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Has anyone had their family member ask for large sums of money? like $300 extra (in addition to a monthly amount we already send for toiletries). Last month our son asked for $500 and said he owed it to someone that he had gotten stuff from when he was out of commissary. Federal system. We are thinking he is getting bullied or pressured in some way. He will call family members for whom he doesn't have a phone plan(which costs a lot more)and sound as if he really needs money. What could be going on?
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  #270  
Old 08-19-2018, 10:27 PM
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Originally Posted by Billys_Lady View Post
No he doesn't ask for anything, and when I do send him something he fusses at me because he doesn't want me to support him. He tells me he got himself into the mess he's in and he will take care of himself, for me to just worry about things out here.


Oh that is a sweet one, you're having there in tu vida(in your life i said)hola chica, hi, Billy's Lady, and God bless you and him, i pray it continue to work out for u, and your S.O.(significant other.) Even though i'm one who feel if a woman help a guy out in prison/county jail/city jail wherever, it's not automatically the man is being a moocher no good POS loser, azzhat, no good douchebag, a dirtbag-, sicko loser piece of trash. I personally feel it is up to the women and she should look out for (and i mean EACH LIL RED FLAG, ALONG THE WAY) and i praise/commend women like u who also got a man, who is clearly saying what he is saying to u, and love u chica, just as much! so god bless u. good night. hugs blessings your way tonight. adios.
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  #271  
Old 08-19-2018, 10:32 PM
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Originally Posted by jordan321 View Post
Either extortion or really big debt! maybe drugs?
I've seen some other posts like your question

st.


omg. i so agree chica, hi there jordan. oh my..

IMO i think any monies i.e., 200.00, even $150.00 to three hundred bucks, four hundred!! and
yep definitely i.e., FIVE HUNDRED is alot of dinero
while in jail "and right after you're already sending 25-100?
SMDH #RedFlag yep. Something is going on inside and its not anything (good...)
-


I will say this much as jordan you're right.

It is either 1 of two/three things, and that's either:

1.)A WHOPPER OF A DEBT OWED yep...$$$ a big debt, for sure, and that's just mi own opine on such cash like that.

2.)A GAMBLIN DEBT/Tryin' to win some cash/gamblin go on a lot in county east to west coast, mid-west, all over, and my own brother know about this for sure, for which he served years in a prison and he seen alot of men gamble but also win a few hundred 1x, and other times 100.00 to lil more give or take,and it was great he said, as he did 1x, but then "some are REALLY addicts, drugs, gamble junkies and get real badly hooked, so they need more cash $ all the time, and that's when it can get bad."REAL bad, in debt. yep. so be careful everyone..."

or #3. Sadly, a "drug debt, buying drugs inside jail is happening all over."Sad to say or for yep,protection."


adios.
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Last edited by a.rare.love; 08-19-2018 at 10:37 PM..
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  #272  
Old 09-07-2018, 01:51 AM
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Sometimes, but it isn't anything new. He was that way before he went in. Plus it doesn't help that his mom spoils him and tries to do this weird compete thing like she is his wife or something. So when she is out of money he tries me. Usually I can send some but had bad accident at work and have not worked for a month and a half and lost everything I had where I had to move back in at my mom's house. He threw a temper tantrum and when I said I lost you he said see you in 2 years. Been together 5 years and I know he regretted it or is having a major bipolar moment like late year. I wrote him and told him that apparently the confusion and memory loss must have kicked in because as far as I remember, he had said crap was going to be different than before but I guess i was confused about us being stronger than that. Also told him that I have paid enough for leaving in the beginning of the relationship and I'm too sick to be going through all this for a dang honeybun or whatever he wants. I swear he is a spoiled brat diva want a be. Not like he was not this way before he went,it's hereditary, all 7 of the moms kids think they are better than others and deserve whatever. still have not heard from him, he's pouting. He's got way more than most in there, told him to be grateful. My ex that's tattooed on me that was in Florence never asked for money. He always tried to take care of me from there and spoiled me by sending me homemade gifts from there. The current when home would do stuff if I needed or wanted something but I don't hardly ever ask. We will see how it goes. I know some might say leave him alone and it may come to it this time.
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  #273  
Old 09-07-2018, 01:53 AM
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Sometimes, but it isn't anything new. He was that way before he went in. Plus it doesn't help that his mom spoils him and tries to do this weird compete thing like she is his wife or something. So when she is out of money he tries me. Usually I can send some but had bad accident at work and have not worked for a month and a half and lost everything I had where I had to move back in at my mom's house. He threw a temper tantrum and when I said I lost you he said see you in 2 years. Been together 5 years and I know he regretted it or is having a major bipolar moment like late year. I wrote him and told him that apparently the confusion and memory loss must have kicked in because as far as I remember, he had said crap was going to be different than before but I guess i was confused about us being stronger than that. Also told him that I have paid enough for leaving in the beginning of the relationship and I'm too sick to be going through all this for a dang honeybun or whatever he wants. I swear he is a spoiled brat diva want a be. Not like he was not this way before he went,it's hereditary, all 7 of the moms kids think they are better than others and deserve whatever. still have not heard from him, he's pouting. He's got way more than most in there, told him to be grateful. My ex that's tattooed on me that was in Florence never asked for money. He always tried to take care of me from there and spoiled me by sending me homemade gifts from there. The current when home would do stuff if I needed or wanted something but I don't hardly ever ask. We will see how it goes. I know some might say leave him alone and it may come to it this time.
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  #274  
Old 09-07-2018, 05:54 PM
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What is A waste of money to one person is not to another if you feel he is using you for money that he is spending on things that he is not telling you about maybe you should think twice about being in the relationship or marriage I think there are bigger issues to resolve than what is a waste of money to one of you or not to the other I would say it is not a money issue but a TRUST issue so why if you dont trust him or what he is telling you why bother why stress yourself out save yourself the money and all and walk away and if you do not trust in yourself or your own inner self than maybe you need to take yourself out f the situation and look inside of you and find out what is lacking in yourself that devalues your own worth of in not just trusting in yourself and then in the world around you ...
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