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  #1  
Old 10-21-2018, 12:45 AM
jmdivine jmdivine is offline
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My son was sentenced to 50 yrs Aug 31. He's still in county and has been since September 10, 2016 when I walked with him to turn himself in. That has been to date the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. I'm dreading the day he "catches chain". As long as he is in county I can see him every weekend. He on the other hand is tired of being there and wants to "get on with it". He hasn't been outside in 2 yrs. The only recreation is 1 hour a day and it consists of either basketball or handball. Two of the other defendants in his case are also there. The oldest one has even tried to get the snitch label on my son...yet he only received 12 yrs..the other 2, (4 involved including my son) received 20 and 25.. my son received 50.. So that had me stressed. Then also my son hasn't been given his judgement paperwork or his discovery pk and he has requested them repeatedly. When I review the court motions of each individual, my son honestly got slammed. I am not saying this because he is my son... I am not the Mom that cries "Not my baby, he didn't do anything, yada yada yada". I know and acknowledge his part in this travesty. I'm not trying to get him completely exonerated. I just want a little more fairness. The oldest received the least amount. I don't agree with that. This man was 28 at the time this happened. He manipulated my son and the other 2. I know the law states as of 18 yrs of age, considered adults. But that's a bunch of crap. These boys were/are not mentally and emotionally mature. They are boys!!!
The court will argue that the terms were explained to them. How do they expect in reality these boys truly understood everything?!? I mean seriously!!!
I'm going in circles with this. I apologise.
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Old 10-21-2018, 05:37 AM
fbopnomore fbopnomore is offline
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I'm sorry for what you are both facing. It's possible that an appeal could help. His circumstances may improve once he arrives at his State prison, county jail time is usually much worse. Be sure to take care of yourself so you can be there for your Son.
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Old 10-21-2018, 10:41 PM
Lackingthepower Lackingthepower is offline
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The justice system is not what I once believed it to be. I am sorry you are on this journey with your son.
I know how you feel about at least being able to visit your son in county and the dread you may feel about him being farther away in prison. I felt that way. My son said the exact same thing. He wanted to get on with it and out of county. He had been in jail for 2 years awaiting trial.
People would tell me that he would be better and less stressed once he got to the prison. It is one of the worst in our state as far as fights and such, but he is doing better. He has a job and walks the yard. He said they played football yesterday. I asked about boredom and he said he doesn't have time to be bored right now.
I can't visit like I did when he was in county but he is doing better.
It's not what I saw on tv. He told me you learn quickly what's accepted. Even though I worry if they're on lockdown, I'm less stressed than when he was in county and was only out of his cell for an hour a day.
You are in the beginning of this and it takes time. No matter what our kid's do, we love them and it's hard to face especially when the time doesn't fit the crime.Thank you for your post.
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Old 10-22-2018, 06:19 PM
trauma4us trauma4us is offline
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Its hard and yes justice wasn't fair in my son's case either. He's been incarcerated for 5 years now with another 27 months to go.

Please remember to take care of yourselves which I know is easier said than done.
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Old 11-04-2018, 03:15 PM
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That is a horrendous discrepancy between sentences for co-defendants. I would find a good attorney and get an opinion as to why, then decided on whether that why is sufficient for an appeal.

It is very true that prison is better than jail for most inmates. They have more to do, they have access to the outside, they have the opportunity for classes. Some of that depends on the prison - the first one my son went to, it was new to him, it was a higher security, and he was 22 - so it was nerve wracking for him. The 2nd one they transferred to him, he settled in, got college classes started, prison classes, a job - it was much better for him and he had more to do. By the 3rd one, he was quite familiar with what to do and what to look for.

The media can make any situation at a prison seems scary. My son called me in the middle of a riot (which the prison called an incident). I have had the fun of at least 2 incidents and 1 riot that I know about. There are more that never reach the news. I have learned not to let it raise my blood pressure. A little bit of time in prison and they learn how to defend themselves, how to avoid situations, how not to be on the guards' list, how not to be a target for other inmates or guards.

My son has become friends with some of the old guys who have done sentences in excess of 30 years and are now near the end. Some have been mentors and all have given him good advice on being a good man.

A. I hope your son's sentence is reduced;
B. I hope whatever amount of time he is in he finds mentors who are a positive influence; and
C. I hope you find peace within as you go through this process with your son.
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Old 11-04-2018, 03:27 PM
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mg81 mg81 is offline
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I have yet to hear of anyone who would rather be in county than in prison. I have heard of some who would rather do a little more time in prison then ever go to county. Some places send some of them back to county as their prison time is almost over. That is so hard on the guys.

I understand your feelings of not seeing him as much when he goes to prison, but like others have said, it really is a better situation for them then where he is now. The fear of the unknown is always hard. I think you will find as he gets settled in that it will be easier for you as well.. as you see he is adjusting. I didn't say easy. Nothing in this is easy.
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Old Yesterday, 01:40 PM
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I am so sorry. I wish I could help in a better way than just praying for you and your family, but at least I can do that. My heart is with you.
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Old Yesterday, 04:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mg81 View Post
I have yet to hear of anyone who would rather be in county than in prison. I have heard of some who would rather do a little more time in prison then ever go to county. Some places send some of them back to county as their prison time is almost over. That is so hard on the guys.

I understand your feelings of not seeing him as much when he goes to prison, but like others have said, it really is a better situation for them then where he is now. The fear of the unknown is always hard. I think you will find as he gets settled in that it will be easier for you as well.. as you see he is adjusting. I didn't say easy. Nothing in this is easy.
You hit the nail on the head. I remember how scared I was back in the beginning of prison. I remember that first visit, when he was still scared (he was on a yard with a very bad rep, which thankfully lasted less than 6 months). It was the knot knowing, not understanding the system, and having no familiarity with it. That was why my first response was to research, which led me here, and to read all the rules on our state DOC site. It empowered me to have knowledge and calmed some of the fear. After the first year it became easier because I was more familiar with the system, the prison he was in, the guards that were there. Familiarity did not breed contempt, but it did breed a level of calm that I never would have expected when this journey began.
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