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Old 08-08-2007, 12:17 PM
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missvee1014 missvee1014 is offline

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Default 20 questions to ask before getting married

I was just on cnn and here's a article on the 20 things you should ask your fiance before you get married. Those who are married already were you thinking of half of these questions. I know I wasn't. Thought it was interesting so here goes

Question 1: What percentage of our income are we prepared to spend to purchase and maintain our home on a monthly or annual basis?
Question 2: Who is responsible for keeping our house and yard cared for and organized? Are we different in our needs for cleanliness and organization?
Question 3: How much money do we earn together? Now? In one year? In five years? Ten? Who is responsible for which portion? Now? In one year? Five? Ten?
Question 4: What is our ultimate financial goal regarding annual income, and when do we anticipate achieving it? By what means and through what efforts?
Question 5: What are our categories of expense (rent, clothing, insurance, travel)? How much do we spend monthly, annually, in each category? How much do we want to be able to spend?
Question 6: How much time will each of us spend at work, and during what hours? Do we begin work early? Will we prefer to work into the evening?
Question 7: If one of us doesn't want to work, under what circumstances, if any, would that be okay?
Question 8: How ambitious are you? Are we comfortable with the other's level of ambition?
Question 9: Am I comfortable giving and receiving love sexually? In sex, does my partner feel my love for him or her?
Question 10: Are we satisfied with the frequency of our lovemaking? How do we cope when our desire levels are unmatched? A little? A lot? For a night? A week? A month? A year? More?
Question 11: Do we eat meals together? Which ones? Who is responsible for the food shopping? Who prepares the meals? Who cleans up afterward?
Question 12: Is each of us happy with the other's approach to health? Does one have habits or tendencies that concern the other (e.g., smoking, excessive dieting, poor diet)?
Question 13: What place does the other's family play in our family life? How often do we visit or socialize together? If we have out-of-town relatives, will we ask them to visit us for extended periods? How often?
Question 14: If we have children, what kind of relationship do we hope our parents will have with their grandchildren? How much time will they spend together?
Question 15: Will we have children? If so, when? How many? How important is having children to each of us?
Question 16: How will having a child change the way we live now? Will we want to take time off from work, or work a reduced schedule? For how long? Will we need to rethink who is responsible for housekeeping?
Question 17: Are we satisfied with the quality and quantity of friends we currently have? Would we like to be more involved socially? Are we overwhelmed socially and need to cut back on such commitments?
Question 18: What are my partner's needs for cultivating or maintaining friendships outside our relationship? Is it easy for me to support those needs, or do they bother me in any way?
Question 19: Do we share a religion? Do we belong to a church, synagogue, mosque or temple? More than one? If not, would our relationship benefit from such an affiliation?
Question 20: Does one of us have an individual spiritual practice? Is the practice and the time devoted to it acceptable to the other? Does each partner understand and respect the other's choices?

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Old 08-08-2007, 12:31 PM
PTO-92958 PTO-92958 is offline
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~Vee~ Thanks, excellent post! Printed and being sent to hunny!
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Old 08-08-2007, 12:46 PM
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Old 08-08-2007, 01:08 PM
yaya'sbaby yaya'sbaby is offline
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great post missvee
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Old 08-09-2007, 07:27 AM
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I guess it's too late for me now...great post

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Old 08-09-2007, 07:44 AM
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Originally Posted by jalove
I guess it's too late for me now...great post
Never too late momma. it question you can ask just for your own info.!
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Old 08-13-2007, 04:45 PM
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Default A great book to read is

"For Christians who are Seriously Dating or Would like to Be...Questions you Should ask Before Getting Engaged or Married" by Elreta Dodds. The book is used at one of my friend's church as part of a pre-marital course. My fiance' and I dedicated over three months to read and complete the book together...and it was well worth it. When you're completely honest, you not only learn a lot about your future to-be, but you also learn a lot about yourself.

By the way, if you're not a Christian, its still a VERY GOOD book, as it forces you to ask and answer the really tough questions that most couples take for granted.
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Old 08-13-2007, 05:06 PM
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This is REALLY good and I think everyone who is thinking about getting married should look through all of these long and hard. We've been married for 12 years, together for 15 and a lifetime is a very, VERY LOOONNNGGG time. You can't just be head over heals in love, you need to be compatable and prepared for each of you to become even like yourselves.
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Old 09-08-2007, 12:52 AM
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Butterfly7276 Butterfly7276 is offline
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Cool Funny you should mention this...

PTO newbie here and I saw this article weeks ago and Sweetie and I have already answered them. So far, we're still in sync. I didn't send him my answers until after I'd received his and I wrote my answers before sending him the questions so I wasn't influenced by his responses. All of the questions were excellent and I believe that when Sweetie comes home and marries me that we'll be just fine mostly because of the open communication that we have we each other. Good luck to any engaged or newly married couples out there and congrats to the married ones!
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