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Old 03-14-2017, 07:11 AM
Tairis Tairis is offline
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Default New Pastures: Interstate Compact from Kentucky to Illinois

Hi Guys,

I have a friend due for the possibility of parole. She is a non violent offender who is only inside on repeat possession charges.

I think she is a reformed former addict and has what it takes to get back on track, but if she is paroled she moves straight back into the community where she had her problems. It is hard enough putting ones life back together without being back with peers who still live the drug lifestyle.

I want her to come stay with me in Illinois and she wants to come. I can help her get a job, continued counselling on addiction and provide an environment where drugs simply don't exist. I have a completely clean record and do not even have a parking or speeding ticket to my name. I understand from reading the Interstate Compact on Parole she can move out of Kentucky if she has family or a job in the receiving state. However we are not related nor in a relationship beyond being friends.

Does anyone know if and how I can make this possible?
Can I present a character reference to the parole board or even talk on her behalf?

Thanks for any advice.
David
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Old 03-14-2017, 08:40 AM
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The "family" aspect of interstate compact is not an and/or proposition as I understand it. Its a must. Also, from what I understand, the family member must be a resident of the receiving state.

FYI: There are no "former" addicts. One may be sober, and in recovery, but the addict is always an addict and the struggle is real.

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Old 03-14-2017, 09:17 AM
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The "family" aspect of interstate compact is not an and/or proposition as I understand it. Its a must. Also, from what I understand, the family member must be a resident of the receiving state.

FYI: There are no "former" addicts. One may be sober, and in recovery, but the addict is always an addict and the struggle is real.

Welcome to PTO and the Kentucky forum
Thanks Patch, much appreciated! Yes I used a poor choice of words with former and totally understand she will always be an addict. I meant to say I believe that with the right continuing support I believe she has a great chance of not returning to her old ways. Although I know their are no guarantees.

David
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Old 03-14-2017, 10:00 AM
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My daughter has battled her addiction for 10 years At this time she has been clean for about 4 months - the longest she's been clean in those 10 years. Its vastly important to give up certain people, places & things AND to work the program: Attend meetings, get and communicate honestly with a sponsor, take one day at a time because, as I stated, the struggle is real...and the struggle is on a daily basis. I wish your friend the best and for the courage, determination & perseverance to face her demons & win
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Old 03-14-2017, 10:54 AM
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My daughter has battled her addiction for 10 years At this time she has been clean for about 4 months - the longest she's been clean in those 10 years. Its vastly important to give up certain people, places & things AND to work the program: Attend meetings, get and communicate honestly with a sponsor, take one day at a time because, as I stated, the struggle is real...and the struggle is on a daily basis. I wish your friend the best and for the courage, determination & perseverance to face her demons & win
That is why i was hoping to help take her away from her environment in Kentucky. A fresh start without immediately facing temptation. Sure I know if determined she can find it anywhere or make it herself... but in Kentucky she can just dial out for it like a pizza if she was tempted. I am sorry to hear about your daughter but its awesome she has been clean four months and that she has you for support. I understand how hard that must be for you. My friends mother walked out on her when she was two. Helping my friend is not something I entered into lightly I just believe in her will to overcome. When I saw her arrest photo the girl looked near death. She has done almost 6 years inside with 4 to go. Her life was saved by prison as crazy at they may sound.
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Old 03-14-2017, 09:51 PM
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That is why i was hoping to help take her away from her environment in Kentucky. A fresh start without immediately facing temptation. Sure I know if determined she can find it anywhere or make it herself... but in Kentucky she can just dial out for it like a pizza if she was tempted. I am sorry to hear about your daughter but its awesome she has been clean four months and that she has you for support. I understand how hard that must be for you. My friends mother walked out on her when she was two. Helping my friend is not something I entered into lightly I just believe in her will to overcome. When I saw her arrest photo the girl looked near death. She has done almost 6 years inside with 4 to go. Her life was saved by prison as crazy at they may sound.
An addict wanting a fix will find their substance of choice in a new environment as readily as their old. It isn't that the drugs are there, it's that the addiction is. Depending on the circumstances, removing her from a familiar community and making her solely dependent on you, in your community, with your social network and (at least temporarily) your finances, may not be as much of a relief as it sounds. The added stress of completely starting over may not be something she's prepared to handle.

I also want to comment on something from another thread but reflects in this one, as well: you've said her "only" crimes were drugs and destroying herself and she never hurt anyone. You've just read what Patch has endured with her loved one's addiction. Drugs rarely affect only the person consuming them. It's not a victimless habit. I'm pleased to hear you believe her sentence has saved her life. I feel the same for my husband's bid. But to say his addiction created no victims would be a level of denial I can't afford.

Best of luck to your friend with parole planning and welcome to our little corner of the interwebs.
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Old 03-15-2017, 07:17 AM
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An addict wanting a fix will find their substance of choice in a new environment as readily as their old. It isn't that the drugs are there, it's that the addiction is. Depending on the circumstances, removing her from a familiar community and making her solely dependent on you, in your community, with your social network and (at least temporarily) your finances, may not be as much of a relief as it sounds. The added stress of completely starting over may not be something she's prepared to handle.

I also want to comment on something from another thread but reflects in this one, as well: you've said her "only" crimes were drugs and destroying herself and she never hurt anyone. You've just read what Patch has endured with her loved one's addiction. Drugs rarely affect only the person consuming them. It's not a victimless habit. I'm pleased to hear you believe her sentence has saved her life. I feel the same for my husband's bid. But to say his addiction created no victims would be a level of denial I can't afford.

Best of luck to your friend with parole planning and welcome to our little corner of the interwebs.
I absolutely get your point and in no way am implying that it is victemless and that it does not destroy the lives of all around. What I actually meant was none of her felony charges related to any harm to anyone. I was simply trying separate the crime and the illness. Alcoholics destroy the lives of those around them too but they do not go to jail for it because vodka is not illegal. Yes I know prison saved my friends life but I cannot help but feel prison should not be the solution to this problem. It is not a rehab center or a psychiatric unit. Addiction is an illness not a crime.
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Old 03-15-2017, 01:48 PM
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I absolutely get your point and in no way am implying that it is victemless and that it does not destroy the lives of all around. What I actually meant was none of her felony charges related to any harm to anyone. I was simply trying separate the crime and the illness. Alcoholics destroy the lives of those around them too but they do not go to jail for it because vodka is not illegal. Yes I know prison saved my friends life but I cannot help but feel prison should not be the solution to this problem. It is not a rehab center or a psychiatric unit. Addiction is an illness not a crime.
We have a huge hole in our social service/mental health care safety net in this country, I absolutely agree with you. Some of that is funding and a misunderstanding by the general public of where to put our money. When we vote on jail beds, a meth addict who broke into their home at 2am is no longer an addict with mental health issues, they see a criminal. That's what they vote on.

I heard a piece on NRP recently about a county who allows people battling addiction to take a misdemeanor hit and essentially "check in" for a bid because there are more jail beds (no cost to the person) than mental health beds (which are quite costly). They would rather people be off the street and getting some sort of attention than left without any resources and trying to hack it on their own. That's messed up. But people are doing it and there is now a wait list.

I think my response was more about you seeing your friend as a victim of the system. In a way, I can agree with you. But that isn't going to help her in the long run. 100% of her choices lead her here and she is the only one who can keep it from happening again. You clearly care for her and because of that, I would encourage you to attend NA in your area and learn how you can best support her.

Last edited by miamac; 03-15-2017 at 01:50 PM..
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Old 03-15-2017, 02:35 PM
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We have a huge hole in our social service/mental health care safety net in this country, I absolutely agree with you. Some of that is funding and a misunderstanding by the general public of where to put our money. When we vote on jail beds, a meth addict who broke into their home at 2am is no longer an addict with mental health issues, they see a criminal. That's what they vote on.

I heard a piece on NRP recently about a county who allows people battling addiction to take a misdemeanor hit and essentially "check in" for a bid because there are more jail beds (no cost to the person) than mental health beds (which are quite costly). They would rather people be off the street and getting some sort of attention than left without any resources and trying to hack it on their own. That's messed up. But people are doing it and there is now a wait list.

I think my response was more about you seeing your friend as a victim of the system. In a way, I can agree with you. But that isn't going to help her in the long run. 100% of her choices lead her here and she is the only one who can keep it from happening again. You clearly care for her and because of that, I would encourage you to attend NA in your area and learn how you can best support her.
I agree she has no one but herself to blame and she knows it. I come from UK....been here for ten years and have a different perspective. In UK we do not incarcerate addicts. We incarcerate dealers and manufacturers but not the addict. We see the addict as a the victim of the dealer. They get a choice probation with court ordered addiction program or prison... yes many would think yeah ok but does it work. Well statistically it clearly does.... Britain's recidivism rate is incredibly lower than the USA.... I am sorry i am very new to this .... What is NA?

David
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Old 03-15-2017, 02:42 PM
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I agree she has no one but herself to blame and she knows it. I come from UK....been here for ten years and have a different perspective. In UK we do not incarcerate addicts. We incarcerate dealers and manufacturers but not the addict. We see the addict as a the victim of the dealer. They get a choice probation with court ordered addiction program or prison... yes many would think yeah ok but does it work. Well statistically it clearly does.... Britain's recidivism rate is incredibly lower than the USA.... I am sorry i am very new to this .... What is NA?
I'm glad that you mentioned the cultural differences as I can absolutely understand why you would struggle against the way things are done here. I would caution that recidivism isn't only about whether a person uses or not, but a host of factors including, at times, stringent parole and probation terms that are difficult to meet. A person may return to prison for something completely unrelated to drugs, but a violation such as finding themselves without a permanent address or verifiable employment. In this case, the numbers don't tell the whole picture and makes comparison a bit difficult. But these are deep wells and it might be best, for now, to focus on how you can best support your friend.

Narcotics Anonymous, the equivalent to Alcoholics Anonymous. I should have perhaps suggested Naranon, but sometimes those meeting are harder to find depending on your community size.
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Old 03-15-2017, 03:05 PM
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Depending on the circumstances, removing her from a familiar community and making her solely dependent on you, in your community, with your social network and (at least temporarily) your finances, may not be as much of a relief as it sounds. The added stress of completely starting over may not be something she's prepared to handle.
I overlooked this earlier because it was a concern of mine and was not sure how to respond. I guess its a moot point as my idea is not legal but im still interested in opinions. Yes her dependency on me was a concern but i kinda weighed it up this way.... her only option is a halfway house... filled with like minded felons and junkies. Her peer group are meth addicts. I believed being away from the environment could help. one way or another she will be dependent on someone for some time. I thought better to be dependent on someone not using than someone who is? A fresh start. It is not like I'm some freaky weirdo who will think he owns her because i help. I have nothing here to gain other than the satisfaction of helping someone i care about. There is no relationship. Heck I'm 15 years older than her and she is closer to my sons age than me. Anyway opinions most welcome....
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Old 03-15-2017, 03:35 PM
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I overlooked this earlier because it was a concern of mine and was not sure how to respond. I guess its a moot point as my idea is not legal but im still interested in opinions. Yes her dependency on me was a concern but i kinda weighed it up this way.... her only option is a halfway house... filled with like minded felons and junkies. Her peer group are meth addicts. I believed being away from the environment could help. one way or another she will be dependent on someone for some time. I thought better to be dependent on someone not using than someone who is? A fresh start. It is not like I'm some freaky weirdo who will think he owns her because i help.
I don't think you're a creeper. You sound like a person genuinely invested in helping someone out.

The dependency issue is a legitimate one. The difference between depending on half-way house staff and you is the "personal" aspect. It isn't going to hurt their feelings, offend or rock her housing situation if she tells them to piss off and stop controlling her life when they want a UA or for her to attend 7 meetings in 7 days. It might sting when/if she does it to you. You may never have a sour word between you, but if she feels you hold the keys to her success, it can create added anxiety.

My husband will go to a half-way house upon release because we have never lived together and he's been inside 15+ years. I (we) want him to know that whatever successes come after release, they were done on his back and his work, not because I paved the way. Yes, it's true he will be housed with felons and addicts. But that's the real world. He will meet former felons and addicts when he looks for work, when he socializes. He needs to know that he has the tools to make the right decision for him in the midst of reality. The staff at his facility is trained to help him to navigate those situations. I am not.

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Old 03-15-2017, 07:21 PM
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Tairis,
Illinois will not accept or will deny the transfer request since you are not family as defined by the Interstate Compact.

I do understand and commend you for wanting to help her, but the bottom line is you will have to that in the capacity as a friend and not the host during her parole term.
Take Care Chris
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Old 03-21-2017, 12:53 AM
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I would have thought that step one was to make sure she got a GED along with any substance abuse programs KCIW has.

An 8th-grade education is a serious obstacle to building a credible re-entry plan.

Any support or encouragement you can give her to get an education will raise her chances of a successful life on the outside.
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