Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

ILoveHim2008 · #1 08-27-2012, 05:32 PM

Okay so my sons father is in D.V.I we are not together but I am supporting him through this we haven't had a great past but truth be told I am IN LOVE with this man this is were its tricky the girl he cheated on me with is now his so called girlfriend off and on but she doesn't do half of what I do he also has another baby with a 18 year old. we are friends and I dont claim to be with him because im not but these other two do and are mad that im around well more the other babymama in a way I can see why but I think I have every right to be BUT lately it doesn't seem worth it. so many rude things are being said over social networks with his new babymama and I just don't have time for it and its childish. im starting to get fed up and just wanna give up but cause of our son and the promise we made to each other its hard what would you do? I am so confused and I have no idea what to do. im not jealous of the other girls but what his new babymama is doing is crazy she also has had his family acting different towards me especially his sister who I was once close to.
and Its hurtful. sorry so long im just lost now I haven't really told him what's going on cause that's stress he doesn't need

juss me6 · #2 08-27-2012, 05:35 PM

I understand how you feel but truth is do you want this drama? He's obviously still seeing them both also. Try and think what's best for you. Possibly being just friends for your child. Whatever you do we will be here to support you. It just looks as with 2 other girls its a long road of hurt.

ILoveHim2008 · #3 08-27-2012, 05:46 PM

exactly but im not trying to be with him at all but I will always love him regardless but this new babymama is making things hard its like she forgets I have his two year old son. its not like im another girl I actually have ties to him. mind you she was a one night stand. the other one isn't so had we talk here and there. I think im just gonna cut back on sending money and phone calls and such. she can Do it also our son has a rare medical condition and his dad is able to be moved closer due to it if I send the papers she had the nerve to say oh good then my baby can see her daddy. Uhm that's fine and everything but she forgets my son is around as well. its annoying really

ILoveHim2008 · #4 08-27-2012, 05:49 PM

honestly im just hurt once it was confirmed he was the babies dad I respected her but she can't do the same for me. everyone says its due to age tho

juss me6 · #5 08-27-2012, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DomWasRDestiny

honestly im just hurt once it was confirmed he was the babies dad I respected her but she can't do the same for me. everyone says its due to age tho

It probably does have to do with age. It probably also has to do with her self esteem and the way she was raised. She may just like drama. I would ignore her through the internet. If she said something to my face or on the phone I would tell her to grow up. Your children are siblings and honestly they should know each other and be in each others life. I don't know if I would cut all ties with bd. Just explain the calls are for him and his son. You don't want no sweet talk.

ILoveHim2008 · #6 08-27-2012, 06:22 PM

THANK YOU

its always nice to have anothers input especially when you are list for words.
I still respect this girl but I do not remember acting like she does at 18
And I totally agree with the sibling part

juss me6 · #7 08-27-2012, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DomWasRDestiny

THANK YOU

its always nice to have anothers input especially when you are list for words.
I still respect this girl but I do not remember acting like she does at 18
And I totally agree with the sibling part

It all has to do with your personality. Believe me I have been through so much with my man I have seen it all. And here I still am. First and last prison bid though.

ILoveHim2008 · #8 08-27-2012, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by juss me6

It all has to do with your personality. Believe me I have been through so much with my man I have seen it all. And here I still am. First and last prison bid though.

I honestly doubt this will be the last one because when I talk to him everything is happy happy Idk if that's a front tho

on hoping I can be strong through this because right now its breaking me
but maybe that the emotions of everything

lovesostrong · #9 08-27-2012, 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DomWasRDestiny

Okay so my sons father is in D.V.I we are not together but I am supporting him through this we haven't had a great past but truth be told I am IN LOVE with this man this is were its tricky the girl he cheated on me with is now his so called girlfriend off and on but she doesn't do half of what I do he also has another baby with a 18 year old. we are friends and I dont claim to be with him because im not but these other two do and are mad that im around well more the other babymama in a way I can see why but I think I have every right to be BUT lately it doesn't seem worth it. so many rude things are being said over social networks with his new babymama and I just don't have time for it and its childish. im starting to get fed up and just wanna give up but cause of our son and the promise we made to each other its hard what would you do? I am so confused and I have no idea what to do. im not jealous of the other girls but what his new babymama is doing is crazy she also has had his family acting different towards me especially his sister who I was once close to.
and Its hurtful. sorry so long im just lost now I haven't really told him what's going on cause that's stress he doesn't need

Block Facebook...keep in touch for your sons sake.Really your son is the only thing that connects him and your actions should be in his best interest.Your promise to him is null n void when he can't hold up his end and also if the promises causes you drama or grief. do you sacrifice your peace of mind? You being stressed isnt good for you or your child .He needs you to be at your best and dealing with someone else's drama you can't be.Love and your feelings have nothing to do with what you need..What's best for you and your son. God bless.

2ndchance4D.O.

ILoveHim2008 · #10 08-27-2012, 07:15 PM

Im just so confused
its like even tho im doing it
for my son they all look at me
like im a bad person
when they found out that Bd and I
are trying to be better parents
and work on a healthy relationship
she got mad and started everything
he tells everyone he doesn't even want a relationship at this moment. xausr he wants to focus on himself and being a better pereon but she keeps pushing it and starting issues cause im in the picture
I was thinking of deactivating my Facebook
I need this so we are able to do better for our son
im using his time locked up to also grow as a person

NiaBaby88 · #11 08-27-2012, 10:32 PM

Delete /block her or any mutual parties that may cause drama from FB and also put your settings to where you can't even get messages from those you don't know. If his family acts different cut them off if its not about your child.
Also, cut him off if its not concerning your son, he obviously using the fact that he knows you still have feelings, tell the other baby mama you wish to not have any contact with her if it doesn't involve the childrens relationship. STAY away from their drama, its going to play out regardless so wouldn't you rather not be involved as the $h*t hits the fan? Think about the child, forget old promises, feelings, and all that bs, if he wants to be a better father he can do it from a distance until he is home and actually SHOWS ya'll. If he has any respect for you he will respect your decision. Y'all are dealing with all this drama because he can't keep it in his pants and has poor decision making skills, so let him grow up and be the man he needs to become. Sorry if I sound harsh sweetie, but I been in that exact situation with other gf's, babymamas. Etc not with my man now but with my daughters biological dad.

ILoveHim2008 · #12 08-28-2012, 01:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NiaBaby88

Delete /block her or any mutual parties that may cause drama from FB and also put your settings to where you can't even get messages from those you don't know. If his family acts different cut them off if its not about your child.
Also, cut him off if its not concerning your son, he obviously using the fact that he knows you still have feelings, tell the other baby mama you wish to not have any contact with her if it doesn't involve the childrens relationship. STAY away from their drama, its going to play out regardless so wouldn't you rather not be involved as the $h*t hits the fan? Think about the child, forget old promises, feelings, and all that bs, if he wants to be a better father he can do it from a distance until he is home and actually SHOWS ya'll. If he has any respect for you he will respect your decision. Y'all are dealing with all this drama because he can't keep it in his pants and has poor decision making skills, so let him grow up and be the man he needs to become. Sorry if I sound harsh sweetie, but I been in that exact situation with other gf's, babymamas. Etc not with my man now but with my daughters biological dad.

Thank you it saddens Me but that's what I need to do
Im only 22 but because of all of this I feel so old LOL

**Patty** · #13 08-28-2012, 01:53 AM

I'd be concentrating on my child not the ex and all his girlfriends. Let them deal with him and you just be a co-parent doing what is best for you and your child.

Geauxin'KraZee · #14 08-28-2012, 02:43 PM

Doing it for your son? Really, don't you think your son would be better off if you took yourself out of that sick situation? We are our children's first teachers before they ever see the inside of a classroom and the things he is being exposed to, is what he will be learning as acceptable behavior and I, my opinion only, so please don't get mad, find it very appauling!

ILoveHim2008 · #15 08-28-2012, 03:35 PM

Everyones opinion is different and my son does not see what goes on
But he is close to his dad
So what your saying is I should take his dad away due to other people?
That is what they want

My son has no idea what's going on and none of it has been directed towards him more to me

Also my son has a life threatening brain disorder that could take him at any time and its best for him to have his family around maybe his dads in prison but he is still there

Appauling? Im sure if anyone's situation was like mine they would try. Every child deserves a father
Especially one who's days could be numbered regardless of were the dad is or not

benignneglect · #16 08-28-2012, 05:43 PM

I think you should NOT send him money or pay for anything. Every dime you spend on him could be used for your child.

As for the females and the drama. You can be curdeous with him, let him call, write his son. Even visit, if you have an uninvolved person to take him.

I do not think you need to be the one talking your son or doing anything for him. He is an X for a reason and that reason is still going on. It is NOT your job to take care of someone elses man. If he choses women who cant support him, those are his choices and NOT your responsability at all.

As far as the little baby momma stuff. Tell her the kids have a right to see each other, but it is her choice to do the right thing for her kid or not, you can not make it for her. Drop all contact that involves drama.

Tell both of these girls you are out of it except letting him contact his son. Then actually stay out of it.

You are young but you sound like you put your child first, just remember that does not include taking care of the baby daddy. It should be the baby daddy job to take care of his child, not yours alone.

Good Luck

ILoveHim2008 · #17 08-28-2012, 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by benignneglect

I think you should NOT send him money or pay for anything. Every dime you spend on him could be used for your child.

As for the females and the drama. You can be curdeous with him, let him call, write his son. Even visit, if you have an uninvolved person to take him.

I do not think you need to be the one talking your son or doing anything for him. He is an X for a reason and that reason is still going on. It is NOT your job to take care of someone elses man. If he choses women who cant support him, those are his choices and NOT your responsability at all.

As far as the little baby momma stuff. Tell her the kids have a right to see each other, but it is her choice to do the right thing for her kid or not, you can not make it for her. Drop all contact that involves drama.

Tell both of these girls you are out of it except letting him contact his son. Then actually stay out of it.

You are young but you sound like you put your child first, just remember that does not include taking care of the baby daddy. It should be the baby daddy job to take care of his child, not yours alone.

Good Luck

Thank you so much definitely the best answer
And im not going to just gonna be nice for my child
I told them I was out it and they said they were to LOL guess he will have nobody should have thought about that thank u

ILoveHim2008 · #18 08-28-2012, 07:19 PM

Just sucks cause for once we were trying to work on our friendship but it happens I guess
Thank you all

DP's Girl · #19 08-28-2012, 07:28 PM

There is nothing wrong with being friends for the sake of co-parenting but that's difficult if you're still in love with him. You have to be honest with yourself about how much contact you can have with him and still maintain necessary boundaries. Because the stress and drama is not good for you and will indirectly affect your son. To co-parent you don't have to send money and have a relationship with him. If he has a girlfriend she is the one who should be sending him money. The only thing I would worry about is making sure he can call his son because you do want to maintain their relationship. Don't allow his girlfriend or his other child's mother to interfere with your peace of mind. You have more than enough to deal with because of your son's medical condition don't allow anyone to add to that. Eliminate his women from your life and if it means limiting contact with your son's father it's what you have to do. I wish you the best and will be keeping your son in my prayers.

ILoveHim2008 · #20 08-31-2012, 02:25 PM

Thank you everyone so update my son was put 'n the hospital Wednesday night since then have had a chance to speak to this girl for now everything is an understanding and its all stopping hopefully thank you all

hisbabyny · #21 08-31-2012, 11:34 PM

I will be praying for your son and you. nothing else is as important.
keep your faith and strength...

Psychocandy · #22 09-01-2012, 06:53 AM

I hope your little one is recovering and will be home from hospital soon.
All the adults involved in this need to put your baby first....his little life my be short so as grown ups surely they can put the petty differences behind them for his happiness. Anyone who doesnt put him first and causes you or him stress including his father dont deserve a place in his life.

ILoveHim2008 · #23 09-03-2012, 01:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Psychocandy

I hope your little one is recovering and will be home from hospital soon.
All the adults involved in this need to put your baby first....his little life my be short so as grown ups surely they can put the petty differences behind them for his happiness. Anyone who doesnt put him first and causes you or him stress including his father dont deserve a place in his life.

Exactly I get frustrated found out that she is jealous of my son and that she thinks its crazy he has two babies at 22 LOL well she knew about my son way before and he us here to stay but whatever its about my son and doing what I BELIEVE is right for him. Thank you btw he is now home doing amazing back to his old little self. The support is extremely appreciated