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Loving a Lifer For those whose loved one is serving a life sentence.

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Old 04-03-2007, 06:48 AM
Silvercue Silvercue is offline
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Red face New here, share your stories with me..

Blessings to all,

I am married to a lifer, we hope he will be coming home, as we are getting a new trial.

Whats your story? Are you married to a lifer? Would love to meet some people that are, its a hard road.

Do you have a mate that you are committed to that has a life sentence?

Please all, share your stories, and feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk.

Always with respect,

Silver Cue
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Old 04-03-2007, 12:18 PM
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qwerty qwerty is offline
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Welcome to the lifers forum, Silver Cue!!

I'm not married to a lifer, he is my very good friend, and as my siggy says, I am down for life. He's six years into his sentence and even though he is a very upbeat guy, this has been a very rocky road to say the least! Let's just say he puts me through as much drama as IF we were married...

He is elegible for parole someday, but it's a long time until he comes up. Hopefully the politics will change by then!

There are lots of others here who are married to their lifers, so I'm sure you'll be hearing from them, too.

Best of luck with your new trial!!!!

Let's give 'em something to talk about!

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Old 04-03-2007, 02:35 PM
MrsPhil MrsPhil is offline
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I met my lifer who is the love of my life through a family member and we have been together six years. Hopefully he will make parole in 18 months. He has been in for 24 years!
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Old 04-03-2007, 02:59 PM
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Hi, I'm new to this site and I'm not sure of my way around it as yet. I do want to say Congrats on the new trial, MrsPhil I hope and pray your man gets his parole. My husband comes up this June, it will be his third hearing. On his second hearing it was discovered that someone put a letter into his file saying very disturbing things about me! I was so shocked when I saw the paperwork, of course he was denied parole on the advise given in this paperwork, (from CDC). The problem is we don't know how to fight what was written in the paperwork. The letter was written in 2000 and didnt show up until 2005 so there is a statue of limatations involved. The author has described me as a very bad person involved with many negitive things. Truth is I have never had any police contact in my life...I didn't even have a trafic ticket until a couple of years ago and it was for tags on my car. (i spaced the renewal) I tracked down the author and asked to if I could meet with her and see this investigative report she has, the women told me that I have no recourse what so ever and hung up on me. Twenty-four hours latter my husband has all of his pictures and address book taken from him, questioning his which picture was of his wife. It took over a week to get his property back.
Now with this hearing comming up I just don't know what to do.....My husband has been doing so well..he has completed his GED, has two trade certificates, gone to AA an NAA meethings and has just completed his AA in Business Managment..It upsets me to know that they (CSDR) has used me against my husband...He stays to himself and has caused no problems so I just don't know what to think.. If anyone has any advice I really need it..due to the failure of going thru three cars and a brief move to Las Vegas (four years in h***) I have not seen my husband in five years!! I miss his very much..I used to be there every weekend for three years straight come rain or shine so this has been hard on me and the kids..
Well thank you...
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Old 04-04-2007, 11:10 AM
chi-fil chi-fil is offline
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My Lifer goes up in 02/08. Down for 19 years and we are praying he makes it. We realize it is difficult the first time up, but, he has done all the right things, education, no trouble, no violations, nothing. Job waiting, owns home, family and community support, so we are praying. This is a long road, but, we see the light at the end of this dark tunnel. He is amazing, has handled himself with grace and dignity and proven himself, so with God's forgiveness for what happened, and His blessings, we may be very near a new beginning. Good luck with the new trial.
~Waiting Because He is Worth It

Last edited by chi-fil; 04-04-2007 at 11:11 AM..
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Old 04-04-2007, 04:38 PM
MurphyGirl MurphyGirl is offline
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Hello and welcome to PTO and to the lifer forum! My name is Ann, I go by penwife. I've supported my husband for 21 years now and I am still going strong! He has LWOP.
I wish you the best of luck on the upcoming trial!!!!

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Old 04-05-2007, 04:30 AM
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Welcome to the lifer forum! I'm not married to a lifer but I'm pen paling with a woman who's got life with parole but a very small chance of ever getting out (being in Cali and involved in a high-profile crime isn't doing much to improve parole chances). She's been doing 38 years now and after all these years there aren't really many people writing to her and her not really being much of a writer doesn't help much either.

No matter how long it'll take, I'll keep writing faithfully and giving her as much moral support as I can until she gets out - in whatever fashion that'll be. I hope she'll be paroled but I'm realistic enough to see that's not very likely to happen but I'm an optimistic person so I like to think someday they'll do her righteous.

So like all you people I'll be around here for many years to come =)
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Old 04-05-2007, 05:08 PM
BigDaddy72 BigDaddy72 is offline
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Welcome Silvercue, I am engaged to a 25 to life with possibility of parole, she's been down 8 years now. I hope to revisit some of the inconsistencies of her case after we get married, so we might possibly get her out sooner.
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Old 04-15-2007, 12:33 AM
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Patience 8 Patience 8 is offline
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Hi Silvercue, welcome. I'm planning to marry my love, who has life without parole plus 90 years. In the near future, we may have a shot at getting him out of there, as he was wrongfully convicted. Either way, I am committed to be by his side.

CONGRATULATIONS on your new trial - we are hoping for one of those, or maybe the lack of refiled charges by the prosecutor. I send you all my best thoughts - may justice be done. PM anytime.

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Old 05-17-2007, 02:51 PM
EJSMI05 EJSMI05 is offline
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Default LWOP friend

Hey everyone, I'm sure this has been discussed elsewhere on this board, but how do you and your loved ones cope with the reality of life without parole? Of all those "nevers"? Of no chance at him ever seeing the outside world again?

My loved one is actually an ex-boyfriend. We broke up well before he was even arrested, so there's not that pain I would feel if I were still in love with him, the pain of not making love or growing old together (I decided in '02 that was not a good path for me to take). Rather, it's the pain of my first love being imprisoned, of seeing someone I had an incredibly intense, tumultuous relationship with have his life ripped away. I do not mourn for myself, I mourn for him.

Anyway, we just found out today his appeal was denied. We all were expecting that, but of course one always has hope. And I'm sure we'll continue to have hope, on some level, until the day he gets out or the day he dies. But I just wonder, we're still so very early in this (he was arrested in Nov. 04, convicted in Oct. 05, and sent to his current prison Jan. 06), how do you more seasoned, experienced, and wise people keep strong, deal with the deep, deep pain and loss, and not become incredibly angry? And how does your loved one cope? I'm worried about mine, because he's never really had to cope with trauma before - he just turned to drugs and alcohol or took it out on others with his words. While I'm sure he could get his hands on drugs if he wanted to, and could take his pain out on others, this time he'd have no one to help him when he falls apart, like he has done so many times in the past.

Okay, that's enough for now, and I know this is probably really depressing. I just need to vent to people who understand!!

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Old 05-27-2007, 10:46 AM
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misspt misspt is offline
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Hey Congrats On The New Trial. We're Still Hoping For One Of Them. I Am Engaged To A Lifer. Going Through The Appeal Process Now. Please Pray For Us......
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Old 06-13-2007, 01:55 PM
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qwerty qwerty is offline
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Erin, to answer your question:

One day at a time... one day at a time. That's the only way to keep from crazy in this lifer life.

Let's give 'em something to talk about!

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Old 06-13-2007, 04:50 PM
Hegotlifenme Hegotlifenme is offline
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Well Congrats Silvercue on the new trial... I can only pray I will be that lucky with my dude (my lifer as you guys would call him) and my brother.

I'm definitely committed to my lifer and my brother who has 40 years... They both are just starting there long sentences and we are just starting their appeals... I pray everything goes well... so please pray for us too... i promise i will do the same...

Again Congrats on the new trial... and to everyone up for parole goodluck to you too.

Too Blessed to be Stressed
To Loved to not appreciate
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Old 06-17-2007, 05:41 PM
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redhaired_dolly redhaired_dolly is offline
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I don't know how I'd deal with the lwop. I have been assured by the DA in the case that my lifer is "never getting out of prison." But as long as there is the possibility, I can have hope to cling to.
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