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  #1  
Old 06-19-2008, 08:35 PM
chintath chintath is offline
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Default Is there hope for a 56 yr old alcoholic?

I am writing my cousin, in jail for what must be his 6th DUI. Everyone thought he was going to make it this time but he seemed to get depressed when he couldn't get a job and spiraled downward. He has been an alcoholic since he was a teen.

I just encourage him to take advantage of any programs he can. He said once AA helped him but he seemed to have a hard time dragging himself to meetings and wouldn't get a sponsor.

He says he will never take another drink again and I reminded him he said that the last time he was in jail and I need to see action, not hear empty words.

What has helped others? I need stories of hope.

I am trying to educate myself. I attended one Al-Anon meeting and prefer to do online meetings after that experience.

Thanks for any advice.
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Old 06-19-2008, 08:54 PM
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There is always hope, but it's just something he has to do for himself. He has to want to find a better way, and there is help there for him if/when he decides to surrender.

It sounds like your experience with Al-Anon was not a great one. I can't encourage you enough to try different meetings. Every meeting has different dynamics. I know I attended quite a few meetings where I felt like an outsider. Or it was full of people who I could not really relate to (not that I was unique, more that they were parents of teenage or young adult substance abusers as opposed to wives/girlfriends). Once I found a group where I felt welcomed and where I thought I could relate and learn from the members, they became a crucial impact to my own recovery. You don't have to share if you don't want to, just sit and soak up what has worked for others. You also could attend an open AA meeting to get a viewpoint from the other side.

Online meetings are good, but the face-to-face support is really so helpful and once you get to know a couple of others, you will have someone on the other end of the phone that knows exactly what you are feeling at the time you need them.
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Old 06-20-2008, 04:46 AM
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Originally Posted by chintath View Post
I am writing my cousin, in jail for what must be his 6th DUI. Everyone thought he was going to make it this time but he seemed to get depressed when he couldn't get a job and spiraled downward. He has been an alcoholic since he was a teen.

I just encourage him to take advantage of any programs he can. He said once AA helped him but he seemed to have a hard time dragging himself to meetings and wouldn't get a sponsor.

He says he will never take another drink again and I reminded him he said that the last time he was in jail and I need to see action, not hear empty words.

What has helped others? I need stories of hope.

I am trying to educate myself. I attended one Al-Anon meeting and prefer to do online meetings after that experience.

Thanks for any advice.
Steppers talk about working a program, and there are probably as many different successful programs are there are ex-boozers.

AA works for many, but it's by no means for everyone. Staying sober is a lifelong struggle for "true" alcoholics (and they know who they are).

Thing is, there's no "action" to be seen when someone is staying sober. They just don't drink (and when you get down to cases, that's all there is to it) and (mostly) nobody else really knows. That's probably why support groups are so appealing (and so successful).

Anyway, you asked for advice. Here's some: if you didn't like the Al-Anon group you attended, try a couple more before giving up on that resource.

And remember: there is nothing you can do about it.

Good luck.

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Old 06-20-2008, 05:42 AM
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My brother is 59, and has been sober for 8 months! First time in his life~!

His college friends (yep, they're all still friends) held an intervention, and had him on a plane to rehab in a heartbeat. One went with him, to help him get there and actually in the door. He was in for two months, and he's been dry (and apparently easy about it) since.

I have another brother who got sober 30 years ago and has never had a single problem since.

It can happen.
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Old 06-20-2008, 09:42 AM
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Originally Posted by chintath View Post
I am writing my cousin, in jail for what must be his 6th DUI. Everyone thought he was going to make it this time but he seemed to get depressed when he couldn't get a job and spiraled downward. He has been an alcoholic since he was a teen.

I just encourage him to take advantage of any programs he can. He said once AA helped him but he seemed to have a hard time dragging himself to meetings and wouldn't get a sponsor.

He says he will never take another drink again and I reminded him he said that the last time he was in jail and I need to see action, not hear empty words.

What has helped others? I need stories of hope.

I am trying to educate myself. I attended one Al-Anon meeting and prefer to do online meetings after that experience.

Thanks for any advice.
I have to say that he has to want the help in order to truly make the change. I've lived with alcholics all my life and about 10 years ago my step mother passed away unexpected and my father went into downward spiral. I thought he would die. Then I found him in a hotel room with empty bottles of vodka everywhere and he was no where to be found. I was very scared. I called my grandparents and the police and everyone was looking for him. When I found him he looked horrid. My aunt and I committed him and he was pissed. I told him I didn't care how pissed he was and the doctor told me that if I would not have gotten him help I would have been burying him very soon. He now has alcohol induced Parkinson's disease. Its so hard to watch him. After he was diagnosed with the Parkinson's disease he woke up. He now lives at the YMCA and doing really well. In contact with his sponser daily and attends AA. He is 61 years old and has nothing. Well a VCR and a pizza maker that I bought him for Christmas...that's about it. I'm anxious for him to turn 62 so that he is able to get into some type of senior citizen income sensitive apartment. I don't know if age factors but like I said he/she has to want the change. I hope this helps, I know I'm ranting a lil but I've been through this so many times in my life....take good care. Kelly
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Old 06-20-2008, 09:46 AM
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Also, Al-Anon helped me quite a bit. It helps you understand.....
Does my loved one need help?
What kind of help is there?
Where can I find help?
What are the health implications about of alcohol?
What do I need to learn about ALcohol Dependence?
What can I do to help?
How to cope...
I would give you the site address but not sure if it is against policy so please google it. I hope this helps. Sorry should have read more closely before I got on my soap box. Keep looking for other groups until you are comfortable.

Last edited by Johnston90; 06-20-2008 at 09:49 AM.. Reason: Oops didn't read
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Old 06-20-2008, 10:52 AM
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I am a 40 yr old heroine addict (not currently using) but an addict non the less. I have struggled with addiction for the greater part of my life. I've been to over 15 inpatient rehabs and countless outpatient programs. I tell you all this because I know that nothing will work for anyone until they want it to work. The addicted person has to find a reason to want to stop. They must develop some sort of self esteem from somewhere. A lot of people assume that addicts are just selfish asses and don't care who they hurt. Most of the time this is a far cry from the truth. Addicts hate themselves so much and cant stand to even look at themselves in the mirror. Using makes life bearable. I don't have an answer as to why people like me can't seem to deal with life we just can't. There is hope !!! As long as there is life there is hope, but remember what works for one doesn't always work for another. The first step is removing the chemical (alcohol, heroine, whatever) then one must start to focus on something positive. Constantly reminding one of their horrid acts of the past will only create more guilt thus leading to another binge. Positive support and prayer are the best advise I can give.
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Old 06-20-2008, 11:10 AM
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As long as breath is being drawn, there is always hope.
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Old 06-20-2008, 01:14 PM
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Thank you all!!

Lauried, I sent your reply to my dtr-in-law. We just put our son into rehab a couple of weeks ago and I think your words will give us a different perspective. She can't see beyond her hurt and anger right now. I keep telling her she can't take his past actions personally and this may help.

My son is only 30 and now that he has been at the rehab center for 2 weeks, thinks he'll never drink or use again and will be ready to come home, I can't help but doubt his sincerity.

My 56 yr old cousin, on the other hand, I think he is truly sincere when he says he doesn't want to drink, to live the life of an alcoholic. I think he needs to be in a place where he can be closely monitored, have rules and not too much pressure. He told me he is "afraid of the outside world" right now.

I am grateful the jail where he is residing is not a bad one and he is comfortable. Maybe that is not a good thing: he is liking it too much and makes it easy to give up and go back again.

I was so touched by your story, Kelly. I hope you find a good place for your father. I am seeking a place for my cousin as well. He suffers from depression and was hit by a car and will get some insurance money when he gets out, hopefully that will help him start over. But with a criminal record, it will be tough to find a place for him.

I may look up Al-Anon again. I was turned off by all the amateur counselors and evangelizers even though I am even a Christian. So many of those in the group had evident mental health issues and I thought they were dangerously fragile. It was the most depressing hour I'd ever spent. I left feeling so hopeless. I am sure there are better groups.
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Old 06-20-2008, 02:04 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chintath View Post
Thank you all!!

Lauried, I sent your reply to my dtr-in-law. We just put our son into rehab a couple of weeks ago and I think your words will give us a different perspective. She can't see beyond her hurt and anger right now. I keep telling her she can't take his past actions personally and this may help.

My son is only 30 and now that he has been at the rehab center for 2 weeks, thinks he'll never drink or use again and will be ready to come home, I can't help but doubt his sincerity.

My 56 yr old cousin, on the other hand, I think he is truly sincere when he says he doesn't want to drink, to live the life of an alcoholic. I think he needs to be in a place where he can be closely monitored, have rules and not too much pressure. He told me he is "afraid of the outside world" right now.

I am grateful the jail where he is residing is not a bad one and he is comfortable. Maybe that is not a good thing: he is liking it too much and makes it easy to give up and go back again.

I was so touched by your story, Kelly. I hope you find a good place for your father. I am seeking a place for my cousin as well. He suffers from depression and was hit by a car and will get some insurance money when he gets out, hopefully that will help him start over. But with a criminal record, it will be tough to find a place for him.

I may look up Al-Anon again. I was turned off by all the amateur counselors and evangelizers even though I am even a Christian. So many of those in the group had evident mental health issues and I thought they were dangerously fragile. It was the most depressing hour I'd ever spent. I left feeling so hopeless. I am sure there are better groups.
I'm sure there are. It's just like finding what the AA folks call a "home group." Sometimes a person hits it off with a group immediately and sometimes one has to shop around.

But I hear you on the amateur counselors and wannabe drug and alcohol experts. They can be pretty tiresome. As they say, take what you need (from AA, Al-Anon or whatever) andf leave the rest.

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Old 06-30-2008, 07:50 PM
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There is always hope. I too am an alcoholic and the only way I got sober was through AA. You have to stress that your cousin has to work the program. You could go to Al anon to find out how exactly you could help your cousin. Good luck to the both of you!
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Old 07-01-2008, 10:53 PM
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my dad has been a recovering alcoholic for 3 years now- he is 60. they have to hit "rock bottom" before they change... and trust me, to a lot of alcoholics, prison/jail is not their rock bottom. my dads was having a car accident (not with anyone involved) but when he regained consciousness in his hospital bed there was an entire family huddled in a circle right out side his door (for the patient the next room over)- but he didn't know they were there for the person next door- since he had no memory of the accident besides the fact he was told he was in one, and he thought he had killed someone else in the accident. weirdly enough, when my mom and i were walking to his room and saw those people, we thought the same thing. that was his final rock bottom (finally. we thought we had seen rock bottom a million other times). there's ALWAYS hope.
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Old 07-02-2008, 02:03 PM
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All the best for your dads recovery from addiction...
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Old 07-11-2008, 01:22 PM
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Default there's hope

I doubted someone I knew would ever quit drinking. I didn't think this person had the will to quit, but they did! what changed was losing almost everything important to them and realizing something had to change drastically. Hitting bottom sometimes does the trick unfortunately. They have to want to stop in a serious way tho.
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Old 08-09-2008, 04:14 PM
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I just got a letter from my cousin. I wonder what you think about his statements: "...the past was one life and the future will be another, like being reborn again....living a new life starting over with no ties to the past."

Is it possible to have no ties to the past, when you have children and live in a small town, facing family and friends who know your history? Can you "just forget" all and expect everyone else, who can't start over, to do likewise? I know it doesn't do much good to continually beat yourself up, but don't you have to deal with your failures first, accept responsibility for your past actions before you can move on?

All his life he seemed to live in denial of his problems, instead of facing his problems, he either lived in the past (his successful high school years in which he was a popular sports star) or tried to hide his drinking and problems with work and marriage by hanging out with the socialites in town and engaging in business schemes. I am wondering if he still is in denial, still thinking he is in control and doesn't need anyone's help and/or just wants to run and not face anyone (I would bet all is true).

I am waiting for news of his hearing, expect to hear his probation revoked and he'll get an enhanced sentence. I think an enhanced sentence will impact him (he thinks he'll get out with time served).

It seems like he's hit rock bottom so many times. I can't imagine he can go much lower without killing himself. It is hard to tell from a letter how fragile he actually is.

I have encouraged him to go to AA in prison. He doesn't mention it and that isn't encouraging. I need to get myself to Alanon.
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Old 08-09-2008, 11:37 PM
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Quote:
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There is always hope, but it's just something he has to do for himself. He has to want to find a better way, and there is help there for him if/when he decides to surrender.

Very True
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Old 08-10-2008, 09:57 AM
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Girl, you are going to let your cousin drive you to drink. Try those meetings from a different perspective. Go looking to what you can offer others rather than what anyone there can offer you. If you recognize that much weakness and pain, odds are that the strength and compassion that I know exists in you can do a lot of good and you won't believe how much good it will do you to feel that you have even a small victory with any other that faces what you do.

Encourage your cousin and boy to do the same. The more that we give away, the more that we grow inside. What we receive from helping others is truly a healing experience, because we begin to recognize that the good does still exist deep within us as we rejoice in the triumphs of others despite the enormity of our own problems.

You may also realize that while you believe yourself to cope better than those at the meetings that actually you just suffer in different ways than others. I used to be fine no matter as far as people around me could tell. I never shed a tear and was steady as a rock. I looked great on the surface, but my health suffered and when the effects finally caught up, you know the price that I pay.

Never forget that we are a sick lot whether addicted ourselves, putting up with another's addiction or as is often the case a little or a lot of both. Look at yours truly fourteen years clean and still so screwed up that I hide for months, when things go crazy. I still do not have the right coping mechanisms to handle the stress that once I just self-medicated and forgot. Only a really hard head and the certainty of a Creator that has better plans for me than death keeps me from total surrender to the chaos.

An old-timer at an AA meeting told me once that he spent the greater part of a quarter century learning to be not physically, but mentally sober. After sixteen what he said makes perfect sense to me. Learn a lot of patience with two that your worrying over, because you are going to need them. One of the greatest feats to be accomplished is learning not to expect the very worst, but at the same time not allowing the addict to put one over on you.

For many this is the thing that causes the addict and the loved one the greatest problems. I gave my ex fits even on the few occasions that he tried to do right simply because there had been so many lies that I could not make myself trust him. Then, after he had been sober and clean for the greater part of a year and I could believe that he was doing right, he went off the wagon and the lies began again.

For a short while, you truly see the good person that you have known for decades does exist within the person that you love and suddenly they slip from your grasp again and a stranger returns in their place. You have to expect the possibility of relapse and at the same time believe with all the faith that you can muster that it just won't happen. Dealing with addicts is sort of like living the ultimate roller coaster ride, the trick is learning to close your eyes and get as much pleasure as you can from every moment despite the fear.

The addict has to learn to overcome fear first and foremost. In my experience, no one likes meetings, when they first begin. There a million excuses, but when it comes down to it, we are expected to share things that we have been taught for a lifetime to keep secret and we fear the judgment of others.

I blew a group of younger people in Iowa away a few years back for the degree of candor that I used as relating my story in full for the first time before a group that I was visiting. However, I have learned that above all lies are my enemy. The fear of never being good enough and the fear of what others looked at me and saw drove me for years and if I doubted it before what I have read here leaves me to believe that most of all your cousin has to learn to not bury the past, but to hold his head up despite it, because we cannot live in shame and survive sobriety.

You described someone that needs attention and wants to be a high roller. I know the feeling, because once I had the power to walk into a room and within moments be the center of the world. That is gone and I have to deal with it. It is not always so easy and for your cousin, he has a family including his beloved cousin expecting him to succeed. Never forget that in his mind your idea of success is that which you and your husband have achieved. It can seem a really tough mark to hit for someone on bottom, even though you do your best to assure him that he does not need to reach that high.

You have to always remember that the alcoholic or addict is living within a twisted reality where the most frightening of beasts is ten minutes of sobriety in which he has to look at who he actually is. It is called surrender, when we are ready to stay clean and sober, but I am not certain that it should not be called defeat, because it is the moment that we admit to ourselves that all of those vile things that we so fear others will see within us have overcame the better parts of us until we have reached a point that we can no longer stand to live with the person that we have become. It wasn't a birthday, the day that I put it all down. It was a day the slow death of the person that I had been for decades began.

Someone in here referred to "true alcoholics" knowing who they are. There are many misconceptions and that term in my mind is one. Those of us who cross the line whether once or a thousand times all carry the same inane fears and thoughts. We are driven by something that becomes bigger than us, bigger than God and so overpowering that it can consume every waking moment if we allow it power over us.

Many did not feel that I was "true addict." People could not see from the surface that inside of me was a den of chaos that had led me to places that could have left me serving years and now I realize had things gone wrong more than once to death row. My life was lived in two worlds and the worst of my my sins held in secret among my cohorts, but in both worlds I was a mess inside myself and ever fearing discovery.

Then, in 1992, the not "true addict" blew everyone away, when she suffered a major stroke, because she put a needle in her arm after years off hard drugs and only smoking a joint here and there and occasionally drinking. People might have still figured that I did not have so much of a problem if they had not watched me crawl into a bottle and stay for the first year after I nearly lost my life to the high. But, the 29 year old woman that hated drinking proved that the genes that her alcoholic family had passed onto her were stronger than any fear of death, when the pressure was on.

It took me from late September 1992 until March19, 1994 to decide that I was ready for a different life and the stroke did not save me, because I feared death. The stroke and poverty saved me, because for the first time I accomplished things that I never dreamed I had the strength or intelligence to manage completely on my own. A true alcoholic/addict taught herself to walk and fully function without benefit of continued therapy. Inside, I became a whole person for realizing what I am capable of even in the face of the worst that life can offer.

And that is the key, learning what we are capable of and finding the truth within us that exists without the haze. You are a dear friend and know where I have been and where I am in my mind too much of the time at present. However, I can tell you the place that you never have to worry for me being again and that is lost to the high. This is the place that I go far astray from AA, because even though I am forever an alcoholic/addict - I do believe that we can say we will never go back. That certainty within me has never relented in all of these years and if the last three have not taken me to that point nothing ever will. I know and accept who I am faults and all.

My dear friend, look at your cousin and your son and see the people that you know and love not what they have done. Don't make excuses for them or accept excuses from them. Then, show them no sympathy, not only because it won't help them, but because we hate it more than anything even the condemnation that we imagine ourselves ever facing. Also, always remember that you can not love an addict sober, but with a little luck, you can do for them what a handful of people who never stopped seeing the person that they knew and loved did for me - you can open their eyes to the fact that despite their handicap, they only loose what they willingly forfeit.

God bless you for your desire to save the world. You are a treasure in many lives...

Kricket
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Old 08-10-2008, 11:31 AM
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there is always hope for anyone, no matter how hopeless their situation seems!! esp. if if they have God first in their life, i myself wouldn't have made it this far without God in my life. any successes i've achieved in my life, all the credit goes to him. pray, pray, pray, is the best advice i can give you!!
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Old 08-10-2008, 11:40 AM
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There is hope for those who want to get better. I have been working with an alcoholic and drug user. I provide her with Reiki and she gets her meds from her meds manager. She is doing phenomenally well. This is the second time I have used Reiki to help someone with substance abuse problems and I have been happily surprised to see the results. The person just has to believe in themselves and then put their best foot forward to bring about the change.
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Old 08-11-2008, 03:02 PM
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Thanks again everybody, especially to Eldon's wife, my comrade in saving the world.

I wrote my cousin this morning, including some of all your words. I haven't yet disclosed that my son is now in a treatment center, over 60 days sober and working through his last stage there. He has taught me a lot as well.

I found a 12-step worksheet online and sent him the first 2 steps. While I don't think he could drive me to drink (gives me migraines and I can't stand the taste), I want to understand addiction more. I am looking at the steps and trying to see what I can incorporate into my own life. My son's counselor said the steps are good for everyone to work through.

I really hate meetings, right now it is one more stress. I know I should go and am sure I will eventually.

My idea of success is being sober one day at a time. Time after time, I have encouraged him to not just try for jobs in banking (he was once a VP of a bank) and factories and other places who who constantly rejected him after a background check. Once when I suggested applying at Denny's, he said that was "beneath him. " When he was young, he too could charm his way into any situation and now his past not only includes repeated incarcerations, but affects him physically and mentally. I told him his family and friends would not care if he took a low-paying job, they would admire and respect him for trying to be self-sustaining, responsible and overcome his addiction.

It's so good to hear all the success stories. Not only is my son in recovery, but I just visited my family in another state and have 2 brothers who are addicted, one to prescription drugs and one to prescription drugs combined with alcohol. One is in denial and neither want help. Like Eldon's wife said, you can't love them sober. But you can as the director of my son's treatment center said, "You can love them to death" if you continue to enable.
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Old 08-11-2008, 10:32 PM
Eldon's wife's Avatar
Eldon's wife Eldon's wife is offline
Led by the Great Spirit.
 

Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Southeast Texan whose heart is in Arizona
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Default Hope...

You can get the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions book through a group. It has been years since I used mine, but it was well used when I was doing my steps. Do them yourself. It makes you take a long hard look at things and it will help.

However, I am here for another reason, too. You know me and I have this deal about doing things just because it feels right and thinking about you today, I remembered a couple of wonderful stories from my past. I sort of figure this is a pretty good thread to share them in. They offer a lot of hope and in at least a small way, I think old friends probably gave me the first hope that I could get clean and stay that way whether they realized it or not.

The first, started when I was fourteen and took off to Abbeville Louisiana to escape my mother's addiction. I got into all of the wrong things. I never was a child like others and so sat a lot of barstools over there without ever being asked to prove my age. My drug of choice even then was crystal, however. So, to further that habit I took up with an older man without realizing that the apartment that he was to soon move me into was a whore house.

I was by the grace of God saved by a friend of this guy who I'll call Robert. He had soon worked out a deal to take the loud mouth little winch that had became a pain in the rear for her refusal to play the game off the pimps hands. I was offered the chance to leave, but would by my choice end up living with a twenty-seven year old man who others would want to crucify, but who after more than thirty years I still adore and would help in any way that I can for saving me from myself at that point.

Anyway, Rob has a mother who is doing her best to get her son off the drugs and convince him to get his life right, so we end up at Rob's sister and brother-in-law's outside Houston and he goes to work fixing things on the rigs off the Texas coast. The drugs stopped, but the brother-in-law who he works with owns a really nice set up to keep his beer keg always at hand. It sits in his living room and never runs dry, so the beer flows for them both, whenever they are home. They are home a lot and both of them are the textbook case of alcoholic for certain and even by that point both had been for more than a decade.

I drank to get high, when I was a kid. However, it never was something that it bothered me to do without and I really wanted a little sanity even then, so my habits were reduced to just smoking a little and Rob's drinking was about to drive me over the edge. The sister did not drink either, so she was no happier than I was. There were constant fights, because the two forget their way home, when they would come back from off-shore. It was so bad that the sister-in-law and I would be known by every bar keep in the area for dragging those two out to the car after a bitter battle.

Rob and I as the other two were also textbook cases of dysfunctional. Eventually, Rob would take off on me, because my rage was relentless and I would loose contact with the others, too. Seven or eight years passed and I would go to Louisiana and find Rob once which we were both very glad of. It was only a visit, however. He was still drinking bad, I was married with two babies and after a pleasant evening with him and his mother, we again lost touch. I was told the sister and her husband were fine, but there was no mention of any major change in their life. I never spoke to her during that time, but over the years often wondered how they all were doing.

Long afterward, I accidentally came up with a number for the name of the brother-in-law in another area of Texas. It was accidental and his name so common that I really never expected it to be them. I called that number and sure enough it was the sister who I had thought so much of. I was surprised, but not just because it was her. I talked to a much older woman that day not only as an old friend, but as a pastor's wife. She was one of the lucky ones and her faith that someday the man she shared a family with would wake up had paid off.

The other story has to do with a friend's cousin who had lost his sight. She used to take me to visit and we would drink heavily with him, because that was his thing. He loved to drink and he loved to play piano. We loved to listen as he played old blues tunes. He was a wonderful musician, but he was one hell of a drinker, as well. I was in my early twenties, but he was probably a couple of decades older than me and saw very little hope of his ever having a life outside his tiny house. He just drank and played for those who stopped by for years.

After, I moved and left the area, I went many years without ever seeing him or those who knew him. Then, one Sunday morning, though my church attendance was no more than once every four to five years, just out of the blue I decided to attend services at a small Apostolic chapel. It is in an area where the cousin and I often hung out and we have laid friends to rest in the small cemetery there. I just find comfort being in a familiar place at times and so as looking for my own sanity, it seemed right to go.

The front doors were open and piano music could be heard outside, when I stepped out of the car. As I walked in and looked toward the front, I couldn't see who was playing for the crowd. They were good, though and I have always loved old time gospel. I wanted to be closer to the piano, but after arriving, I felt very uncomfortable being in church. My own habits had crippled me by that point and sobriety was a very new thing, so I took a seat at the back. I certainly was not qualified for the front row or so I thought.

I just sat there feeling out of place as couple of the ladies greeted me and then everyone took their seat to allow the pastor to begin. To my surprise, I was to learn that there were two pastors at the chapel that morning and when the name of the man that gave the sermon that day was announced, I knew him. A blind man stood up from the piano and made his way to the podium as I sat amazed by the changes that can happen in a life.

I can't tell you how happy it makes me for anyone to make it out of the chaos, but for those I now to make it is each marked as a miracle that I have beheld. I can't tell you all will make it, because a beloved friend lies in that tiny graveyard next to the chapel. He was lost, when we were no more than kids. It is a hard road and the end result does always depend on the person that is dealing with the addiction. There is always hope though. Among those I have known, there are pastors, businessmen, men who run the jobs that they work in very dangerous places that they either keep it together or get out. There are people from all walks of life and by now I have known those who have cleaned up from the age of fifteen to sixty or older.

There is always hope. You alone may understand this part of the story, but you will and I want to let you know how miracles can come out of the blue. After all those years of never speaking to Rob's sister and at a time that I was lost to the high and had given up on ever doing anything worthwhile, the first thing that she asked me that day was if I was still writing, still doing my poetry. I picked up a pen for the first time in many years after we talked and have never laid it down completely since.

Then just a few days ago, my older daughter who graduated with honors and who wants to include enough in her college curriculum that literature and writing will remain a part of her life, picked up something that I had written and told me that its really pretty good. She is working on correcting my grammar for me now. There is always hope no matter how old we are.

I have let go of my faith recently, but I am working on it. I pray yours always stays strong. You never know, we just might save the world.

Love ya
Kricket
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Last edited by Eldon's wife; 08-11-2008 at 11:26 PM..
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