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  #1  
Old 05-05-2019, 10:05 PM
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Default Anyone else's LO have trouble getting a phone?

I am asking b/c my Eric has a history of lies and I don't want to feel like he's being dishonest with me.

I love him so deeply and I don't even really CARE what he wants the money for- if it's for music or games or movies I don't care, or just food- I just wish he'd tell me...

He was recently moved to a different area since his work detail request was denied - he's relatively new at Menard and at Pontiac and Stateville he was working which helped immensely.

Sooooooo what's happening now is he's telling me he can never get the phone to call me- that certain groups control the phones and he has to pay the "phone guy" to get to have the phone in his cell to be able to call me whenever he wants. I don't understand b/c he calls me from yard w/o any trouble.....I'm just disappointed bc although he sent me a beautiful card and poem and letter- that was a full week ago and I had one phone call since then and not ONE e-mail which there is no excuse for !!!!! He has so many vouchers for email that I sent him.

I know he's probably talking to other women- he says he isn't and he'd NEVER tell anyone else that he loves them- he said he wants to marry me, etc. and I feel the same way (depending of course upon how things go in September; we'll find out if he gets a new trial or possibly - the biggest hope- exonerated!!!!)

I just hate getting my hopes up after every appeal is denied and he's innocent :*(

So many nights alone (I'm a young widow w/four kids in elementary middle and HS)

Thanks for listening to me whine

I'm going to visit in person in July (from jfk to st. louis since menard is closer to st. L than flying into midland or o'hare)

so sad in general that the man I love cannot be in bed with me, sleeping like we should and walking around town holding hands...

I know you can all relate and I'm thankful I found you!!!

Thanks ladies,

J.

Eric - LWOP since '08
Menard CC since '13

Next video visit May 24
Next actual visit July 19
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Old 05-06-2019, 07:58 AM
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...that certain groups control the phones and he has to pay the "phone guy" to get to have the phone in his cell to be able to call me whenever he wants.

Yes, there are often groups that control phone usage. I know in KY, some jails have a phone on wheels that is used in certain situations, but basically inmates use the wall phones in the cells. In KY prisons, there are no phones on wheels or in the cells. If you're talking about a cell phone, they're not allowed in any prison in any state.. If / when caught he'll be punished and possible outside charges as well.
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Old 05-06-2019, 08:54 AM
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Yeah, my guy says they recently moved his phone hook up to another building, so the phone situation has been hectic there (Dixon). His calls haven't dropped in frequency, but my availability is changing over the summer due to night classes, and he can only make one of those two days (we've never had calls on one of them - but the other day I'm available we've been able to talk a few times). I'll never pretend to know what he or any other inmate go through on a daily basis, so why stress him out by overthinking whether he's lying or not.



Actually, I needed this thread so thanks for posting it


Also, about the emails - those kiosks shut down all the time on them. Mine will say he's typed up a whole email to me only to have it shut down. He's brought up his frustration with the technology on more than one occasion, but he still plugs away and will email me a couple times a week.
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Old 05-06-2019, 10:44 AM
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If your man is a liar then maybe you need to think about that as its a big red flag ,also you are sending him money without knowing what its for. Just be careful dont accept less than you deserve because you feel alone.

It sounds like he is paying another inmate for use of a cell phone.That is against the rules and he could be punished and lose his phone privileges.

Groups can control the phones and ask others to pay to use them but as he talking about a phone in his cell when he wants he is talking about a cell phone or a phone enabled tablet. If he has a tablet he will need money on his books to call.
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Old 05-06-2019, 12:12 PM
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Yeah, my guy says they recently moved his phone hook up to another building, so the phone situation has been hectic there (Dixon). His calls haven't dropped in frequency, but my availability is changing over the summer due to night classes, and he can only make one of those two days (we've never had calls on one of them - but the other day I'm available we've been able to talk a few times). I'll never pretend to know what he or any other inmate go through on a daily basis, so why stress him out by overthinking whether he's lying or not.



Actually, I needed this thread so thanks for posting it


Also, about the emails - those kiosks shut down all the time on them. Mine will say he's typed up a whole email to me only to have it shut down. He's brought up his frustration with the technology on more than one occasion, but he still plugs away and will email me a couple times a week.


Wish I could give you a hug in person !!!! Thank you
I don't know what it even looks like inside there so I can't pretend to imagine what's happening....

I didn't mean a cell phone I know they are illegal and he's not stupid enough for that- he is talking about the regular phone- he said there is a pad and jack type thing in the cell but you need the actual cord and phone part. I just feel so sad (my period is here which is not helping) bc it's so one sided. I know that's how it is though and I just want him home it kills me.

He is innocent and I just can't believe how (he was initially sent to death row!!!) He is converted to Lwop but honestly there is zero forensic connection, the ENTIRE case is based upon hearsay but hey we are so thankful that in september he has this big hearing (the innocence project of illinois is helping his case which is HUGE)

wish I could have fallen in love with someone else lol but it is what it is I just cannot wait for his name to be cleared and to have our life together back.......xox
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Old 05-06-2019, 12:17 PM
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If your man is a liar then maybe you need to think about that as its a big red flag ,also you are sending him money without knowing what its for. Just be careful dont accept less than you deserve because you feel alone.

It sounds like he is paying another inmate for use of a cell phone.That is against the rules and he could be punished and lose his phone privileges.

Groups can control the phones and ask others to pay to use them but as he talking about a phone in his cell when he wants he is talking about a cell phone or a phone enabled tablet. If he has a tablet he will need money on his books to call.

Thank you

I'm definitely vulnerable since my husband was killed and I do love E. I just know he does lie (about silly things and I let it go.....) but he also likes to tell stories, etc. It's harmless so I let it go....but when it comes to money it's getting a bit much.

I sent him 100$ last month

He has a tablet, I send vouchers for email and like I said I put 100 on the books for commissary. I pay for our phone and it's cheap so not a big deal but now he says the phones (NOT CELL phones- he is not dumb and would never risk that) are hard to get a hold of unless you strike a deal with the guys that control the phones. (the regular prison phones) he still manages to call me from yard daily so it's just all very fishy.

it's hurtful b/c I love him so much - I don't want to be taken advantage of. I'm even flying down to visit him this summer which will be several hundred dollars and I'm a widow w/young kids as I said - not like I'm rich
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Old 05-06-2019, 12:20 PM
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Yes, there are often groups that control phone usage. I know in KY, some jails have a phone on wheels that is used in certain situations, but basically inmates use the wall phones in the cells. In KY prisons, there are no phones on wheels or in the cells. If you're talking about a cell phone, they're not allowed in any prison in any state.. If / when caught he'll be punished and possible outside charges as well.

thanks for the response!!! Correct- he's talking about the panel in his cell but you need the cord and speaking part. They're installing wi-fi which will help with phone calls and he has a tablet so I always make sure he has money for music, games, movies, etc. It frustrates me that he won't tell me what's really up.

He would NEVER risk a cell phone- the calls always come from Ill DOC with the long ass message at the beginning.....

xox
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Old 05-06-2019, 01:08 PM
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The phones at menard suck I can vouch for that. Not enough of them and not enough tone out for everyone.
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Old 05-06-2019, 01:46 PM
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the calls always come from Ill DOC with the long ass message at the beginning.....

xox

omg i knowwwww - they added some "inmate debit" message at the beginning what, a month ago? before it was only a 30 second automated message but now with that damn inmate debit message it's a full minute if not more. idk why they have to constantly replay it if the company sees he's called me several times in the past 4 months.
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Old 05-06-2019, 01:53 PM
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Omg that’s so annoying! My LO is in Pinckneyville & they split phone times cuz they only get the hour out. And that minute takes away my precious phone time! I hate it!
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Old 05-06-2019, 02:53 PM
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Thank you

I'm definitely vulnerable since my husband was killed and I do love E. I just know he does lie (about silly things and I let it go.....) but he also likes to tell stories, etc. It's harmless so I let it go....but when it comes to money it's getting a bit much.

I sent him 100$ last month

He has a tablet, I send vouchers for email and like I said I put 100 on the books for commissary. I pay for our phone and it's cheap so not a big deal but now he says the phones (NOT CELL phones- he is not dumb and would never risk that) are hard to get a hold of unless you strike a deal with the guys that control the phones. (the regular prison phones) he still manages to call me from yard daily so it's just all very fishy.

it's hurtful b/c I love him so much - I don't want to be taken advantage of. I'm even flying down to visit him this summer which will be several hundred dollars and I'm a widow w/young kids as I said - not like I'm rich
Well its your call but if your gut feeling says he is using you listen to that.Your money should be going on you and your children and not him.A loving man should be supporting you emotionally. I am concerned for you ,do you have family support?
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Old 05-06-2019, 03:47 PM
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They're installing wi-fi which will help with phone calls and he has a tablet so I always make sure he has money for music, games, movies, etc. It frustrates me that he won't tell me what's really up.
Wifi? For the inmates?.....who are not supposed to have access to the internet? I don't understand how or why the prison would install and control content on wifi, unless it was for Staff only & password protected.
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Old 05-06-2019, 07:37 PM
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omg i knowwwww - they added some "inmate debit" message at the beginning what, a month ago? before it was only a 30 second automated message but now with that damn inmate debit message it's a full minute if not more. idk why they have to constantly replay it if the company sees he's called me several times in the past 4 months.
EXACTLY!!!! "Did you know that now you can......" YES I KNOW!!! lol. It is BS though (I'm just glad we can cheaply talk on the phone) I'm grateful but I really miss talking to him every day. I was spoiled b/c he was calling like two to three times a day before they moved him :*(
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Old 05-06-2019, 07:58 PM
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Wifi? For the inmates?.....who are not supposed to have access to the internet? I don't understand how or why the prison would install and control content on wifi, unless it was for Staff only & password protected.

Right????? I was confused also- I asked him like three times are you SURE it's "wi-fi" a lot has changed since 2005 LOL..... he said "Jeannie I'm sure, it's wi-fi" and they're doing some construction also he said IDK......I just feel badly that he's unhappy with the move. Like I said he was with all workers and he was denied a job so that's that. Now he's in a different block same house but it's like starting over again- he said he knows no one.

I guess he's telling the truth to an extent after hearing the phones are limited at Menard.... I'm shocked they even can have it in their cell- that's what I was confused about?!? I know he has a tablet so IDK why he doesn't email every day- some things are just putting up flags that I did not want to see in the first few months/earlier stages.....I love him so much though I wish I could stop
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Old 05-06-2019, 08:04 PM
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Well its your call but if your gut feeling says he is using you listen to that.Your money should be going on you and your children and not him.A loving man should be supporting you emotionally. I am concerned for you ,do you have family support?

Thank you so much.....you're so kind!!!!!

My Mom died a month before my husband was killed and I lost my Daddy in November so it's just the kids and I so dating has become so difficult- My little one goes bananas and cries when I go on a date (she's 12 not that little- and my 15 y/o daughter is supportive/tries to help) the twins don't care (they're 19) so I may go back to just dating and try my hardest to forget Eric but it's really hard..... I do love him (or do I just love the way he makes me feel- I just feel that with him serving LWOP what type of future is there, realistically? I just want to stay beside him through the hearing in September at least and be supportive b/c his family (obviously he's in jail for killing his mother, father, sister and brother in law) isn't there so I really don't think he has anyone. He has penpals, etc. but nothing serious like he and I tell each other "I love you" and all we focus on is life once he is home :*(
So sad...
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Old 05-06-2019, 08:09 PM
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The phones at menard suck I can vouch for that. Not enough of them and not enough tone out for everyone.
Thank you so much!!!!!!! That makes me feel a lot better honestly. So how does it work??? Like I know during yard he can call me but like, he made it seem like he can have the phone "in his cell" what does that mean? I'm assuming there is a phone w/o the cord that they plug in- that's kinda how he tried explaining it. So who brings them the phone part (the cord and handset)

He said there's a dial pad and a spot where they plug in the cord/handset.

I just don't think you should have to pay some gang member or whatever to use the bloody phone! Has your LO ever mentioned having trouble getting the phone to call you??? TYSM for your help. I'm going to visit in July - how often do you visit??? What is it like??? How long do you get to stay?

Sorry for all the questions I'm just excited to meet another girl with a man in Menard. Where is he? I wonder if he's near Eric. He just moved though to a different part of the building so IDK even exactly where he is

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Old 05-06-2019, 08:37 PM
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The phones at Menard are on a long cord, passed from cell to cell - not the best system but it is what it is.

As to wifi - IDOC is still trying to figure out how to do this so that the signal isn't detectable outside the building. The kiosks for the MP3 players are usually located in central locations like the gym, library, etc..

As to the "ad" on the phone calls, yes, its very annoying. My son doesn't call often because we visit a lot and we also use the MP3 player a lot. When we first heard the ad, we joked that soon they would have more....
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Old 05-06-2019, 08:52 PM
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Yeah, my guy says they recently moved his phone hook up to another building, so the phone situation has been hectic there (Dixon). His calls haven't dropped in frequency, but my availability is changing over the summer due to night classes, and he can only make one of those two days (we've never had calls on one of them - but the other day I'm available we've been able to talk a few times). I'll never pretend to know what he or any other inmate go through on a daily basis, so why stress him out by overthinking whether he's lying or not.



Actually, I needed this thread so thanks for posting it


Also, about the emails - those kiosks shut down all the time on them. Mine will say he's typed up a whole email to me only to have it shut down. He's brought up his frustration with the technology on more than one occasion, but he still plugs away and will email me a couple times a week.
Thank you so much!!! YES I have actually lost emails that I wrote at the maximum (you know how they can't be too long) and then click send and it's gone grrrrr brings me back to the login screen (Connect Network)

So I'm glad to know your man had a hook up with a phone guy (I think at Menard that's a job- bringing to the phone to the guys' cells) ... has your man ever explained how it works ??? Eric tried to but I'm still confused- like how do they have phones in their cells and if they do why does he need the "phone hook up" ??? He said there is a dial pad and a jack so you have to plug in the cord or something, idk.....

I like what you said and it's so true - I can't pretend to even come close to comprehending what the hell he is going through- he's been in since '05 at 28 y/o and he's now 42. It kills me. BUT he has the innocence project of IL now helping to try to get a new trial or exonerated but it's tough- I mean even though there was no weapon found or DNA linking him it was his mom, dad, sister and brother and law that were killed- nothing stolen from either home and the killer tried to cover up the crime scene at his mom/dad's house where he lived. it's creepy i know but I believe him that he's innocent. idk why anyone else would do this but I know he would NOT be capable. He's too sweet/gentle type of person (I'm sure not in the prisons he's been in lol)

xo, J.
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Old 05-06-2019, 08:58 PM
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The phones at Menard are on a long cord, passed from cell to cell - not the best system but it is what it is.

As to wifi - IDOC is still trying to figure out how to do this so that the signal isn't detectable outside the building. The kiosks for the MP3 players are usually located in central locations like the gym, library, etc..

As to the "ad" on the phone calls, yes, its very annoying. My son doesn't call often because we visit a lot and we also use the MP3 player a lot. When we first heard the ad, we joked that soon they would have more....
thank you so much for this useful info!!!!! So can I bother you to ask what it's like during visits? I'm going to visit Menard for the first time in July (I have to fly from JFK and he's new to Menard but has been at Pontiac and short time at Stateville). He has been in since 2005 when we were 28, now 42 and serving lwop (accused of killing his mom, dad, sister and brother in law which he did NOT - no DNA linking him, timeline is off and no murder weapons found- he was just the only person they looked into !!! )

Anyway- what do you mean - how do you communicate w/MP3???

Isn't that just for downloading music? Forgive my ignorance! I use apple and I just download from youtube music so I have no clue but I do send him money for music. we have a playlist so at night we can listen to the same songs while falling asleep. you have to get creative when someone you love is so separated from you

How long does your son have left? How is he handling things at Menard? How old is he? I wonder if they're housed near one another? He just moved from North where all the inmates with jobs are housed to a new area and he said it's beyond crazy the difference in cells, just everything!!! At least he is getting along well w/new "cellie" (I always say "roomate" lol) Thank goodness he likes playing basketball bc that's where he makes "friends" lol.

Thanks again! xo, J
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Old 05-07-2019, 10:14 AM
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... has your man ever explained how it works ??? Eric tried to but I'm still confused- like how do they have phones in their cells and if they do why does he need the "phone hook up" ??? He said there is a dial pad and a jack so you have to plug in the cord or something, idk.....

I like what you said and it's so true - I can't pretend to even come close to comprehending what the hell he is going through- he's been in since '05 at 28 y/o and he's now 42. It kills me. BUT he has the innocence project of IL now helping to try to get a new trial or exonerated but it's tough- I mean even though there was no weapon found or DNA linking him it was his mom, dad, sister and brother and law that were killed- nothing stolen from either home and the killer tried to cover up the crime scene at his mom/dad's house where he lived. it's creepy i know but I believe him that he's innocent. idk why anyone else would do this but I know he would NOT be capable. He's too sweet/gentle type of person (I'm sure not in the prisons he's been in lol)

xo, J.



I think Dixon is different than Menard (Dixon is medium security and isn't Menard max?) - I've never asked but I assume they have a wall of phones in the day room. They're generally out of their cells for a good part of the day - thankfully they get a good deal of freedom.



Hopefully the Innocence Project can help out. I have a friend who is now a capital defender (lawyer who handles only death penalty cases) and she helped out with the innocence project during her law schools days here in VA. Sadly, my law school doesn't offer a hands on innocence project elective. Anyway, I digress. I hope IP can help.


Also, our men have kinda similar stories - mine went in at 16 y/o and is serving a 20 year sentence. He's out in just under 4 years. Granted, we're MWI and have been together for almost 8 months now - sounds like you two have much much more time together!!
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Old 05-07-2019, 07:07 PM
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Originally Posted by ILLINOIS.PAL View Post
I think Dixon is different than Menard (Dixon is medium security and isn't Menard max?) - I've never asked but I assume they have a wall of phones in the day room. They're generally out of their cells for a good part of the day - thankfully they get a good deal of freedom.



Hopefully the Innocence Project can help out. I have a friend who is now a capital defender (lawyer who handles only death penalty cases) and she helped out with the innocence project during her law schools days here in VA. Sadly, my law school doesn't offer a hands on innocence project elective. Anyway, I digress. I hope IP can help.


Also, our men have kinda similar stories - mine went in at 16 y/o and is serving a 20 year sentence. He's out in just under 4 years. Granted, we're MWI and have been together for almost 8 months now - sounds like you two have much much more time together!!

Yes- you are correct; he is at a maximum security prison Menard does have a medium security unit but I highly doubt he will ever be moved there.

I have a question - he always says that if the IP agrees to help that is a huge plus- in proving his innocence- would you agree, since you know more about it than I do?

I feel so helpless- I wish I could do more to help as far as research, etc.

They had a DNA hearing (idk if hearing is the proper term but it focused solely on the fact that NONE of his DNA was found at either crime scene and with the brutality of the crime, there would have to be some type of his DNA left behind. In addition, no blood spatter on HIM, etc.) The murder weapons were never recovered......the real huge thing that made him be convicted is the fact that his sister said she knew he did it- that he threatened to kill their sister if she told their father about the money. Meanwhile he was working out a payment plan with his parents......It's just CRAZY how the hearsay law works. Anyway, he said the DNA hearing/whatever the specific name, was great news and now in September there is some other type of hearing and this is when he can either be exonerated or given a new trial ...... to me EITHER is great news !

Thank you SO MUCH for all your help; you're so knowledgeable and I appreciate you sharing it with me/us.

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Old 05-07-2019, 07:19 PM
hisprincess2019 hisprincess2019 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jemcc View Post
Yes- you are correct; he is at a maximum security prison Menard does have a medium security unit but I highly doubt he will ever be moved there.

I have a question - he always says that if the IP agrees to help that is a huge plus- in proving his innocence- would you agree, since you know more about it than I do?

I feel so helpless- I wish I could do more to help as far as research, etc.

They had a DNA hearing (idk if hearing is the proper term but it focused solely on the fact that NONE of his DNA was found at either crime scene and with the brutality of the crime, there would have to be some type of his DNA left behind. In addition, no blood spatter on HIM, etc.) The murder weapons were never recovered......the real huge thing that made him be convicted is the fact that his sister said she knew he did it- that he threatened to kill their sister if she told their father about the money. Meanwhile he was working out a payment plan with his parents......It's just CRAZY how the hearsay law works. Anyway, he said the DNA hearing/whatever the specific name, was great news and now in September there is some other type of hearing and this is when he can either be exonerated or given a new trial ...... to me EITHER is great news !

Thank you SO MUCH for all your help; you're so knowledgeable and I appreciate you sharing it with me/us.

Yes, the innocence project is a great organization. Have you heard from him yet? I’m pretty sure when they are in lockdown it makes it difficult to “sync” their tablets so that could be why you have not received an email.
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Old 05-07-2019, 07:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hisprincess2019 View Post
Yes, the innocence project is a great organization. Have you heard from him yet? I’m pretty sure when they are in lockdown it makes it difficult to “sync” their tablets so that could be why you have not received an email.
I have not gotten any email but I'm on vacation so maybe that's also interfering.... but he did call several times- I just missed it but FINALLY this am was able to catch him and we had an awesome talk <3 I really love him and will do whatever we need to do to make things work for us.....

I'm so excited at the thought of being able to do everything with him - working out, camping, surfing, all the things we love.....skiing, golfing, tennis....It kills me being apart. Did you get my PM? LOL.... hope you're doing ok :-)
The two Erics at Menard !!!!!! crazy?!?
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Old 05-08-2019, 06:33 AM
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Yes, the innocence project is a great organization. Have you heard from him yet? I’m pretty sure when they are in lockdown it makes it difficult to “sync” their tablets so that could be why you have not received an email.

I think even with the tablet someone still has to check it and ok it for sending, right?


IDK how the other places work - Dixon doesn't have tablets yet - but at Dixon, one woman checks the incoming/outgoing emails, and she does this 3-5 days during the business week. Sometimes I'll send a Friday night email and it won't be cleared until Tuesday. If he sends email over the weekend it'll come anywhere from Monday to Wednesday. Email is both a curse and a blessing.


@ jemcc in re IP : it's a great group of people who are very, very passionate about constitutional rights and helping exonerate the wrongfully accused. Really, those who are apart of that organization are very dedicated to the cause. I can't say whether they get positive results in every case, but if they take on his, you can rest assured knowing that he's got a wonderful team on his side.
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Old 05-08-2019, 06:43 AM
trauma4us trauma4us is offline
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My son is not at Menard, I visit prisons for another reason as an "official visitor". (My son is in IDOC though and has about 20 months left).

The MP3 players are like small handheld music players + they can send messages (emails) thru them. However, since wifi doesn't exist for the offenders, they have to "sync" at a kiosk and those are located in various places at various prisons with the most common being the gym, library and on some housing units.

Hope that explains it a little better.
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