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The Nimuay Domestic Violence Support Forum News and information relating to domestic violence in general. Please post here if you don't see a sub-forums that fits better.

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  #101  
Old 05-20-2020, 08:55 AM
ambermarshall11 ambermarshall11 is offline
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Originally Posted by GingerM View Post
Back to the original subject: I believed every ridiculously stupid thing my abuser said until one day, after he'd convinced me to pay for so many things that I was (today's equivalent) $20,000 in debt as a result of him, he screamed in my face "YOU'RE SO SELFISH!" Something in my brain finally snapped when he said that and that was when I realized just how much I'd been gaslighted.

I am many things in life, but selfish is so far away from my essential personality that my brain refused to allow "selfish" to be added to the rather long list of things that it had already believed when my abuser said them about me.
He said that you are selfish omg why do they say we're selfish when they want the whole world and more their the selfish ones always thinking they are being ripped off
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  #102  
Old 05-21-2020, 07:21 AM
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GingerM GingerM is offline
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I think they say these things because they need to justify their behavior and they are unable to take responsibility for their own actions. Therefore, it must be someone else's fault.
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  #103  
Old 05-25-2020, 06:19 PM
YOGA62 YOGA62 is offline
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The constant put downs by the abuser of the victim, the victim's family and friends. The put downs make the abuser falsely feel "superior" about themselves. Maybe they were abused and this is learned. The abuser's ridiculous accusations of the victim cheating on them, as the abuser is so insecure always thinking the victim is cheating. It has been decades so the memories are mainly faded. The memories of the abuser wanting to be in full control, controlling every move, every comment, every decision. Showing anger and violence when anyone challenges or even if they don't just ridiculous outburst over nothing. The ridiculous blaming the victim for everything that happens and never admitting they have done anything wrong. When they lose one victim, they just find another victim, they have to have a victim to abuse and blame. Glad I got away. I will never tolerate anyone to be abusive. It has been 20 years since I got away and was only with the abuser a short while. It only took one episode of violence for me to escape safely with my five children and his two children. Never went back.

Trying to recall the most ridiculous thing he ever said. I recall one time he was insulting my brother, someone he only met one time, he was making fun of his shoes, which were special hospital shoes for nurses and doctors. My brother is a doctor. I think he was intimated by him so he made these horrible insults. Was making fun of my brother's shoes and clothes. He also insulted my children. Such a sad and cruel person. So glad I got away so fast. Only knew him less than one year when I got free.

Now I live domestic violence free and have done so for 20 years!
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  #104  
Old 05-26-2020, 06:48 AM
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**abuser's ridiculous accusations of the victim cheating on them,***


Funny thing, its usually the abuser who is cheating. Thinks everyone is, so..........
Good on you Yoga for getting out asap. Good on you!
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  #105  
Old 05-26-2020, 06:02 PM
Ann1972 Ann1972 is offline
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"I'm will never hurt you." Said this while he was hurting me.
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