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Old 02-11-2019, 09:17 PM
torieoo torieoo is online now
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Originally Posted by LifeTraveler View Post
That is not realistic for all people. Some people simply cannot afford multiple phones calls a day. There is distance to consider and cost of calls. Then there is also the matter of getting to the phones. Not all prisons and jails are made alike. Some have an abundance of phones. Some do not. I know my husband has had to stand in line to get to a phone to call me.

We simply could not afford phone calls every day. I had bills to pay out here, and he knew that. Everybody's situation is different.

Im glad you said that! It costs my boyfriend almost $5 to call me for 15 min because Im out of state. So I try to put as much money as I can in his account for the phone but like you said sometimes its just not as affordable as wed like it to be
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Old 02-18-2019, 01:24 AM
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shallowbay shallowbay is offline
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Of course, as stated, all relationships are different. You can't base what's normal for your relationship on how others work.

That said, right at this current moment, my guy calls once a week [so long as nothing gets in the way. Money, lockdowns, whatever.]

However, there has been times he lost calls completely or we couldn't afford them. It was incredibly difficult for us, but we both also do better with face to face conversations because we get some phone anxiety [we both do better when we can see and read facial expressions, detect tones in voice clearly, read body language... Things like that.] So it was probably easier for us to deal with lack of phone calls than maybe some other people who don't think the way we do.

We still very much appreciate and value our phone time. I love hearing his voice.

As for letters... I'm fortunate if I get 2-4 letters a month. Again, this doesn't bother me, even though I write a lot more. He makes his letters count. He makes me feel loved, valued and appreciated. He waits until he has a small handful of letters from me, then carefully responds to EVERYthing. Every. Little. Thing. He definitely lets me know that he is paying attention to me and what's going on in my/our life. I never feel disappointed in his letters.

It's pretty much been this way since he first went in and we started off as friends. That was back in 2005. Sure, things gained momentum as we fell in love, but then they slowed back down to OUR comfortable normal. It's fluctuated slightly here and there, depending on what's going on, but we always fall back into our normal.

it's not too late to turn back home,
and we were never meant to be alone.
you know we've got each other.
it's not too late for two lost souls.
we're not the only ones to lose control.
we're in this together.

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Old 02-19-2019, 08:15 AM
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I agree with everyone else who says what's normal for you isn't normal for someone else, so don't compare yourself. Have you brought it up to him the number of calls you receive? Have you told him you'd like to talk more?

I speak with mine on the phone 2x a week, it's been going that way for a month now. I find it really helps to have dedicated days and times for him to call, and so far he's not not called. There have been times when he's called a little later than normal, but he always calls. The two days a week gives us something to look forward to, isn't overkill, helps break up the monotony of each week, etc.
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