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View Poll Results: If they make you angry, do you tell them?
Yes 237 74.06%
No 11 3.44%
Sometimes 62 19.38%
They never make me angry 10 3.13%
Voters: 320. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 06-30-2012, 08:24 PM
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Default If they make you angry, do you tell them?

When I'm angry at them because of something they did or say. I let my LO know exactly how i feel. I don't care if they agreed or not at that time because that's how it made me feel. I know sometimes we try to act as if everything is okay because they are inside and we don't want more problems for them? Have they ever made you so mad that you yell at them or something else.

Last edited by MissingHim119; 06-30-2012 at 09:04 PM..
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Old 06-30-2012, 08:38 PM
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yep I do tell him and yes I have yelled at him or told him in a letter exactly how I feel. I don't sugar coat anything cause he's in jail. I am still me and he is still him and we just keep being real. He says thanks ma for always keeping it real. Yep we are all humans and have emotions and yes it is ok to get mad they won't break. He says it helps him more by me keeping it real makes him feel still connected to us all and doesn't like being left out of the loop. Everyone reacts differently of course so I say just do whatever your heart says cause it will never lead you wrong.
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  #3  
Old 06-30-2012, 09:05 PM
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Default i agreed completely

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Originally Posted by kevinmom View Post
yep I do tell him and yes I have yelled at him or told him in a letter exactly how I feel. I don't sugar coat anything cause he's in jail. I am still me and he is still him and we just keep being real. He says thanks ma for always keeping it real. Yep we are all humans and have emotions and yes it is ok to get mad they won't break. He says it helps him more by me keeping it real makes him feel still connected to us all and doesn't like being left out of the loop. Everyone reacts differently of course so I say just do whatever your heart says cause it will never lead you wrong.
i dont sugarcoat it too because i want him to know exactly and not think it is okay for them to do something like that if i didn't like it
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Old 06-30-2012, 09:14 PM
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If we do, do something than we just say it. Doesnt happen all that often but it does from time to time. We dont yell at eachother but we will say how we are feeling about it.
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Old 06-30-2012, 09:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MissingHim119 View Post
When I'm angry at them because of something they did or say. I let my LO know exactly how i feel. I don't care if they agreed or not at that time because that's how it made me feel. I know sometimes we try to act as if everything is okay because they are inside and we don't want more problems for them? Have they ever made you so mad that you yell at them or something else.
If everything is not okay, I do not act as if it is. If I am angry, I tell him, and we either talk it out then, or we wait until we both can talk rationally.

I have raised my voice at him, but not while he is serving his time...we are not together every single day, so I have more patience..now that he is there and I am here. Even if we do raise our voices, we do not let it ruin the relationship, we get it out and make peace with one another. We are human and we will get pissed at each other, but at the end of the day, we go to be happy and smiling.

Peace~
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Old 06-30-2012, 09:40 PM
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I don't need to tell my man....he knows wen I'm angry lol n phone or in person hehe
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Old 06-30-2012, 09:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by agomez84
I don't need to tell my man....he knows wen I'm angry lol n phone or in person hehe
Same here lol they know us too good
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Old 06-30-2012, 10:05 PM
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I don't need to inform him.. he's very aware! Even thru words on a paper without me saying it he can just tell.. Haha :-P he knows me pretty darn well.. but yes I've yelled at him.. he ended up laughing tho and says you are one tough Mexican lol.. says when I'm mad idk how to shut up.. :P
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Old 06-30-2012, 10:06 PM
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I dont yell at him but i definitely tell him if I'm upset about something that he did or that i found out he did. I didnt put him away and he doesnt get a free pass because hes away.
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Old 06-30-2012, 10:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrs.cervantes19

Same here lol they know us too good
Yes dey do ((:

Last edited by agomez84; 06-30-2012 at 11:08 PM..
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Old 06-30-2012, 10:43 PM
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Yes, I always tell him! I didn't tell him once, and I was just really passive aggressive towards him, which caused a TERRIBLE fight. Because of that, we talk about it every time. He rarely makes me mad, and we communicate so well, we always get over our arguments easily.
I yelled at him once, the other day. We were both in REALLY bad moods, and it was the first time that I ever yelled at him. I really hope it's the last, because I hate disrespecting him that way.
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Old 06-30-2012, 11:30 PM
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in a way, this is a yes and no answer at the same time lol. He and I agreed a long time ago to not argue about things. It has worked out so far. I am very careful explaining how I feel, its the best I can do really. I do not like fights at all so I try my best not to. In the 10 years we have been writing each other we have never had an argument.
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Old 06-30-2012, 11:53 PM
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I do not sugarcoat anything for my man because my feelings are not locked up just because he is. If you can't handle me letting you know you did something to upset me, then don't do it because I am definitely going to tell you about it.
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Old 07-01-2012, 01:01 AM
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Back when he was out, sometimes he would get irritated and take it out on me. He would get frustrated if he couldn't get his pills and would get snippy with me. I would just tell him "I know you're mad but that doesn't mean you can take it out on me!" and he would immediately apologize. But as far as big arguments or seriously pissing me off, hasn't happened yet. And yes I said YET because I'm sure it will happen eventually.
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Old 07-01-2012, 08:08 AM
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I let him know flat out what hes doing to make me mad and why....my hubby has bipolar and when hes having a bad day his mood swings could give me whip lash...sometimes he says and does things that really piss me off so i tell him flat out...
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Old 07-01-2012, 08:34 AM
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I tell him this imminently and directly because we try to have a relationship or live as normal as possible, and that means no sugarcoating. Only because he is in prison, don't mean that I have to handle him like an ill child, - he is a man, my man, and we have our standard ups and downs like a normal relationship outside, we are just live in two separate areas actually nothing more.
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Old 07-01-2012, 08:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TnNDreyfus11 View Post
I let him know flat out what hes doing to make me mad and why....my hubby has bipolar and when hes having a bad day his mood swings could give me whip lash...sometimes he says and does things that really piss me off so i tell him flat out...
I'm with you on this....my bf also has bipolar. You call yours whiplash I call mine tongue lashing. I have to tell Kyle really quickly"hey easy on the tongue lashing" and he usually will calm down and apologize pretty quickly. I don't mind him venting his frustrations to me just don't dont do it at me.... Big difference.
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Old 07-01-2012, 09:06 AM
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I got into it with my man on the phone this morning. He was like in the end you out there free to do as u please while I'm in here mad and can't do anything but think about u. I was like did I put u there?! Uh no didn't think so. Then he made me cry because I was like do u really think it's all rainbows and smiles for me? He ended up apologizing and told me he loved me. I know it gets hard but it's hard for those on the outside to. I love him so much it drives me crazy sometimes because I dont think he realizes how much! So yes I yea and him and cry at him lol!!
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Old 07-01-2012, 09:10 AM
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Yell* lol
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Old 07-01-2012, 09:19 AM
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My husband and I always told each other when we were angry.....we still do. I will tell you this: When I was at Dawson my husband and I had been going round and round about an issue and he sent me this letter that was absolutely horrible. Not only did it escalate my anger, it hurt me deeply. My mature response? I drew a picture of a hand (use your imagination here) on his actual letter, I colored it and then I sent it back. He got the point and we worked our way through it.
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Old 07-01-2012, 09:41 AM
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I do tell him because he said to me, we should never hide our feelings (no matter in which way or situation).
Only if we talk about the things, we can change it!
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Old 07-01-2012, 09:51 AM
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Well, I'm the ONE who clicked "never makes me angry" . . . but I hate the "never" part. We've been together 20 years and 99% of the time we do not make each other angry . . . we've learned how to talk potentially angry situations out before they develop (lots of scars in the learning process!).

But, on the rare occasion when one of us is angry/upset, yep. It's all out there . . . plain English, no sugarcoating.

We both are serving time, even though the flavor is different. I have to make most of the decisions, keep the money moving, and generally "function" without my best friend being here. He, on the other hand, has everything programmed for him without his best friend there. Best friends are immediately available (physically, by phone etc.) for reassurance, a sounding board, an encouraging word . . . neither of us has that luxury right now, and it is not easy.

It is easy to get a fester working over something he thinks I should have done that I simply haven't had time to get to. Communication is the key, I think. I am fortunate that we've developed a deep respect for the road the other is walking . . . I'm not sure I could ever adapt and adjust the way he has. And, he understands when I don't have $$$ or time for something just because he wants it NOW. Time moves differently for each of us.
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Old 07-01-2012, 01:17 PM
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I am honest with my husband and that includes telling him how I feel. However, we both attempt to keep things at a respectful and mature level. Communication is one of the neccessities in any relationship and how you communicate will dictate how the other person receives the information. My husband does not yell at me, nor does he accept being yelled at. On the occasion my temper has gotten the better of me, I have ended up holding a phone with nothing but a dial tone on the other end. Can't blame him though because I would do the same if he ever raised his voice to me. Yes, he definately can piss me off but we try to keep things civil and discuss the issues.
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Old 07-01-2012, 01:20 PM
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Most of the time they want to be treated the same way as if they were home with you.
I tell him when somethings wrong, and he wouldnt want it any other way. My LO and I talk so much that most of the time he brings something up before I have the chance to. But I wouldnt add fuel to the fire.
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Old 07-01-2012, 01:53 PM
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We tell each other everything, so yes I do tell him if he piss me off but I do it in different ways. Like yesterday, he pissed me off in visit but because we only get to see each other every third month I didn't wanna make a big deal out of it so I just told him we should change the subject.... He agreed and so we did!
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