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Old 10-11-2015, 02:42 AM
Villalta42 Villalta42 is offline
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Question Problems with another visitor

Hi, I had been an active member of this site a couple years ago, but closed my account. I feel like I need the extra support because gossip is going around the visiting room and on these online chats. Another visitor, who is visiting her husband or boyfriend has been expressing her interest in my soon to be husband. She has asked other inmates about him and other visitors as well. She comments on his looks, etc. I know her name and know her "significant other," but I have never spoken to either of them. I am a regular so it is obvious my other half is with someone (me!). She obviously knows who I am. I am just wondering or looking for some advice as how someone else would handle this situation if you were in my shoes????
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Old 10-11-2015, 03:31 AM
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I'd ignore her. She doesn't present any real threat to your relationship. She's a problem or threat to your relationship only if you two give her that power. She's the one making herself look bad in eyes of other people. So ignore her, concentrate on your own relationship and don't let her get under your skin.
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Old 10-11-2015, 03:47 AM
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Thank you. That's what I have been doing. But she is going as far as wanting to know what street he grew up on now. She is trying to dive deep into his life. I hate gossip and negativity so it is affecting me visiting my man because I want to speak my mind, but he doesn't want me to say a word because it might get back to her, I guess, boyfriend, which would only lead to nothing good.
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Old 10-11-2015, 04:19 AM
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I am a bit confused. So she comes to visit another man but spends that time asking questions to your man? And her man lets her and so do you and your man. Since her man is obviously is not stepping in, why doesn't yours and tell her politly that his visit is about him and you and if she would be so kind to respect that and no longer disturb the two of you. Think that should clear it all up for everyone as for who is or might be intrested in who.
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Old 10-11-2015, 04:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Villalta42 View Post
Thank you. That's what I have been doing. But she is going as far as wanting to know what street he grew up on now. She is trying to dive deep into his life. I hate gossip and negativity so it is affecting me visiting my man because I want to speak my mind, but he doesn't want me to say a word because it might get back to her, I guess, boyfriend, which would only lead to nothing good.
I fully agree with your man. In free world it might be a good idea for your man to set things straight with her, but in prison world it might lead to who knows what! "Mind your own business" is a mantra my husband is telling me, it keeps everyone safe. What if her man hears about this and decides to get it out on your man? Is it really worth it?

She might want to dive as deep as she wants to, but unless you and your man entertain her, she's only able to find out information about him, and who cares if she knows where he lived as a kid. It doesn't change anything between you and your man. I get it that you get territorial, I would too, but she wants to get between you and your man, and if you give her any attention it's only going to encourage her.

So ignore her. Also, just be happy, that you have a man who isn't entertaining her bs, and who is so handsome other ladies are envious to you
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Old 10-12-2015, 03:38 PM
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Originally Posted by Villalta42 View Post
Hi, I had been an active member of this site a couple years ago, but closed my account. I feel like I need the extra support because gossip is going around the visiting room and on these online chats. Another visitor, who is visiting her husband or boyfriend has been expressing her interest in my soon to be husband. She has asked other inmates about him and other visitors as well. She comments on his looks, etc. I know her name and know her "significant other," but I have never spoken to either of them. I am a regular so it is obvious my other half is with someone (me!). She obviously knows who I am. I am just wondering or looking for some advice as how someone else would handle this situation if you were in my shoes????
Gossip? Can get someone hurt especially in these types of relationship. If it is gossip or hearsay I wouldn't buy into it personally. Have you personally heard her say anything about your husband? Does she disrespect you in your face at visiting? Does your husband seem to think it's cute? Flattering? Does he buys into it? Does your husband know how you feel? These are questions you should ask yourself. He cant confront her husband because the two of them can get into and then it goes up from there. Let it be. It's not worth it.
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