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Arizona General Prison Talk, Introductions & Chit Chat Topics & Discussions relating to Prison & the Criminal Justice System in Arizona that do not fit into any other Arizona sub-forum category. Please feel free to also introduce yourself to other members in the state and talk about whatever topics come to mind that may not have anything to do with prison.

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  #1  
Old 03-20-2019, 07:41 AM
auntinmo auntinmo is offline
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Default Not sure what to do - are his requests for money legit?

My nephew is recently locked up for 3 1/2 years at Kingman. This is my 1st time having someone in the prison system.
His family has pretty much decided no t to have anything to do with him so I am trying to help him as much as I am able.
This is why I am frustrated, I have been sending him about $30-$40 a month (which is all I can afford), my mother (his grandmother) also send about the same. His birthday was Feb 28, so between the both of us we gave him $70. Two weeks later, he called my mother and had her put $100 on someone elses books because he owed them money for buying snacks. (I am sure this is a lie) My mother had a stroke so she does not always understand everything and I think he is playing on that. Am I wrong in thinking that $70 a month should be plenty of money?
I am trying to be supportive but this getting out of hand asking for money all the time.
Any advice?
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Old 03-20-2019, 07:43 AM
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I also want to add that I told my mother to never do that again. But with the stroke, she doesn't always make the best decisions.
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Old 03-20-2019, 07:51 AM
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First of all sending money to another inmate other than your "own" is illegal. If they get caught it can have some not so pretty consequences.
Second... if he "owes" anything, don't pay, it's his problem not yours. This well get worse and worse.

He seems to be hustling in some form so don't send anymore until this is all cleared. Hard choice but he needs to get himself straight.
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Old 03-20-2019, 08:02 AM
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Thank you Mizzy.
I was so angry when my mom told me about it. It can be difficult getting her to understand things with the stroke but she said she would not do it again.
We are in different states so it just adds another layer to the situation.
I am not sending him anything for a long time. I don't know if I should ask him what the money was for because I dont think he will tell the truth. After browsing the forum, it's either drugs, gambling, or some type of extortion. None of which are good. I am trying to be supportive but for now I am going to stick to letters and cards, no money.
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Old 03-20-2019, 08:08 AM
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Some of the guys do have their own "store", so it could have actually been for snacks.
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Old 03-20-2019, 08:14 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by auntinmo View Post
Thank you Mizzy.
I was so angry when my mom told me about it. It can be difficult getting her to understand things with the stroke but she said she would not do it again.
We are in different states so it just adds another layer to the situation.
I am not sending him anything for a long time. I don't know if I should ask him what the money was for because I dont think he will tell the truth. After browsing the forum, it's either drugs, gambling, or some type of extortion. None of which are good. I am trying to be supportive but for now I am going to stick to letters and cards, no money.
Make sure he understands that he is cut off from money for a while. He might be expecting another $100 soon and when that is not there, well there are consequences that he will have to face.
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Old 03-20-2019, 01:46 PM
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Hmm....you gals are pretty hip to the hen house ways of the convict population there in AZ. i guess this deal about the "new mother nature taking over is" for real, huh?
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Old 03-20-2019, 03:55 PM
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“Make sure he understands that he is cut off from money.......”

I sort of disagree. I’d not give him warning, let him continue doing what ever it is he’s doing & assume Gran and Auntie will keep the money flowing. Let him figure out on his own he’s been found out.
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Old 03-20-2019, 04:26 PM
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I agree to stop sending money. I think he should be told he wont be getting any from you as he has abused that privilege. You two are the only ones he has, as far as you know. He should be appreciative. It seems like it would have been for something wrong as he went to grandma instead of you. Or if you did want to contribute anything to his eating - order the care packages online.


However, after reading your post over again you guys give him about $80 or less a month. So it actually could be for snacks. He should be responsible enough not to store from people but he's new there and probably hasn't adjusted to having to make things last or eat that food they give them. Not an excuse. I just didn't want to throw a bad card at him entirely.

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Old 03-20-2019, 05:31 PM
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My Mr got less, usually a lot less than $70 a month....about 1/2 that most of the time. He held a job as soon as they allowed him to...state pay isn't much, but between that & what I sent, he did just fine. Did he have everything he wanted? Nope. But he had what he needed.

Can you block inmate calls to your mom's phone, at least for a while? That would keep him from taking advantage of her.
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Old 03-20-2019, 08:54 PM
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Snacks or not, he’s a grown man who put himself in prison with his own decisions.

The idea that he can buy things (be it drugs or gambling or ramen) and have someone else foot the bill over what you’re already sending?

That’s entitlement.

You can’t stop him from doing shady things in prison, but you can stop yourself from being a part of it.

I agree that I’d stop sending money entirely for a while. He’s abused it and come to expect it. And I also agree that you may want to look into blocking your moms number to protect her from being extorted.
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Old 03-20-2019, 11:50 PM
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I agree w the blocking of the number and not sending money it’s a priv not a right to get that and he’s abused it and it’s highly likely from what you said it was for drugs - new inmates don’t typically create stores as they are figuring things out and thst is plenty to make due.
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Old 03-21-2019, 02:01 AM
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He needs to know that what he's doing is not ok, BUT I would definitely tell him ahead of time that he shouldn't expect any more money from the both of you.

My husband told me about people getting stabbed because of not being able to pay back for stuff they owe to someone. There are people out there willing to kill you over a chocolate bar... I wouldn't put him in danger just to teach him a lesson. Just tell him.
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Old 03-24-2019, 01:40 PM
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The food in prison is lousy. The free hygiene items are poor quality. They receive 2 rolls of 1 ply TP a month. It is reasonable that he incurred the debt not realizing how quickly interest adds up when buying from the "inmate store". Only you know your loved one. They also need to buy a pair of sneakers as they can't live in the shower shoes they are given. Additional clothing is often necessary. Coffee is desireable for many. If he has a job, half of it will go to things the prison withholds - gate fee, fines and court costs. On average they may get $40 a month out of a job. Any money you send your LO, they are also withholding a percentage for the fines and court costs (based on his sentence it will have the percentage of 20 to 40%), so he is not getting the full amount you send him.

After my son cleaned up his act, we settled on $100 a month. He got about $80 of it. When his gate fees and fines were paid and he was getting $20 a pay period in his pocket, then I sent $75. I also send a securepack of the max hygiene products every 2 months. I sent extra when he needed new sneakers or paper and pens for school work.

Taking into account how much of the money actually gets to him, $20 a week net is not unreasonable, along with a securepak every 2 months. If fines are being withheld, try to max out on securepaks and send less cash. He can trade securepak items with other inmates and with the inmate store if he wants more peanut butter and less oatmeal. But, he can also trade it against drugs and gambling. Knowing your LO and whether they are likely to be using drugs, gambling or such, needs to be taken into consideration.

More importantly, your own budget and needs should be taken into consideration - he will survive; never send more than you can afford.

I, too, would warn him you are not sending any more money for a while.
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Old 04-03-2019, 07:13 PM
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Thank you for everyone's response. I checked the AZDOC website today and saw that on 3/26 he had a violation for possession of drugs. It makes me believe my suspicions were correct that he was asking for money for drugs. He has not called me since I posted. Time to put a letter in the mail.
Also can anyone tell me what happens when they get a violation? Moved to different yard?

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Old 04-03-2019, 07:49 PM
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For possession? Yes & unfortunately itll probably lead to outside charges. My sisters bio father had the same charge & got 2 yrs
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Thank you for everyone's response. I checked the AZDOC website today and saw that on 3/26 he had a violation for possession of drugs. It makes me believe my suspicions were correct that he was asking for money for drugs. He has not called me since I posted. Time to put a letter in the mail.
Also can anyone tell me what happens when they get a violation? Moved to different yard?
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Old 04-03-2019, 07:59 PM
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For possession? Yes & unfortunately itll probably lead to outside charges. My sisters bio father had the same charge & got 2 yrs
Yes. It says Possession drugs or narcotics. Verdict - Guilty Maj. Viol
It all makes me so sad.
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Old 04-03-2019, 08:41 PM
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I'm so sorry auntinmo Hopefully this will be the wake-up call he needs.
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Old 04-03-2019, 09:07 PM
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Idk why i said sisters lol i mean daughters. But im sorry/: i heard that they dont always press outside charges so there could be some hope he doesnt get it
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Yes. It says Possession drugs or narcotics. Verdict - Guilty Maj. Viol
It all makes me so sad.
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Old 04-27-2019, 11:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lizlizzie2 View Post
The food in prison is lousy. The free hygiene items are poor quality. They receive 2 rolls of 1 ply TP a month. It is reasonable that he incurred the debt not realizing how quickly interest adds up when buying from the "inmate store". Only you know your loved one. They also need to buy a pair of sneakers as they can't live in the shower shoes they are given. Additional clothing is often necessary. Coffee is desireable for many. If he has a job, half of it will go to things the prison withholds - gate fee, fines and court costs. On average they may get $40 a month out of a job. Any money you send your LO, they are also withholding a percentage for the fines and court costs (based on his sentence it will have the percentage of 20 to 40%), so he is not getting the full amount you send him.

After my son cleaned up his act, we settled on $100 a month. He got about $80 of it. When his gate fees and fines were paid and he was getting $20 a pay period in his pocket, then I sent $75. I also send a securepack of the max hygiene products every 2 months. I sent extra when he needed new sneakers or paper and pens for school work.

Taking into account how much of the money actually gets to him, $20 a week net is not unreasonable, along with a securepak every 2 months. If fines are being withheld, try to max out on securepaks and send less cash. He can trade securepak items with other inmates and with the inmate store if he wants more peanut butter and less oatmeal. But, he can also trade it against drugs and gambling. Knowing your LO and whether they are likely to be using drugs, gambling or such, needs to be taken into consideration.

More importantly, your own budget and needs should be taken into consideration - he will survive; never send more than you can afford.

I, too, would warn him you are not sending any more money for a while.
I agree with this 100% and I'm not to happy with the brands they offer in the gift box we can send also, yes it is prison but come on, can't they have better shampoo & bodywash ect? Why can't we order them name brand hygiene , and snacks from Wal-Mart but with a limit like the secure pak one ? I get all the safety and all but they are approved CD's bought & mailed my Wal-Mart, so why can't we just do the same with the care.packages? Maybe it's be tired before ? I don't know ? Like if said I'm new to this but I don't like the choices we have at the moment .
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