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  #1  
Old 03-26-2019, 07:07 PM
Sidebiotch Sidebiotch is offline
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Default Appropriate visiting attire for visiting Federal prison?

Hello Everyone!
I'll soon be going to visit my loved one for the first time in Ft. Dix NJ.
I've read the rules over and over again and think I've chosen an outfit that will work. I'm afraid though because I've read stories about ladies being turned away for tight clothing.
This is just like the outfit that I would like to wear-
http://fashionbehindtheseams.com/201...8-pencil-copy/
(Scroll down to pencil skirt with white button up shirt, closed toe shoes)
Do you think this outfit would be okay? It's not short, it's not deep v neck , no open toes but it is rather form fitting.

If not, could you post examples of clothing that is allowed? What do you wear? I want to see! I'm a visual learner. Lol!

Any ideas for cute outfits?

I really appreciate this community. Hugs.
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Old 03-26-2019, 07:11 PM
Sidebiotch Sidebiotch is offline
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Forgot to add- this is not my blog and I do not own the photos. I'm just using as example of what I want to wear. I have similar figure to the lady in pictures.
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Old 03-26-2019, 07:55 PM
onedayatatime13 onedayatatime13 is offline
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We are in a state facility and that shirt would be too low. Cannot see the collar bone. Anything tight they wont allow either because they dont want fights between the men if someone looks at you.

I would keep it simple.
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Old 03-26-2019, 07:56 PM
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Thanks for your reply.
I will button the shirt up to my neck. Lol!
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Old 03-26-2019, 07:59 PM
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I may drive to the facility the day before I'm going in to visit to see what the other ladies are wearing. I don't want to wear a potato sack. Lol!
Everything I like is not allowed. Lol
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Old 03-26-2019, 07:59 PM
onedayatatime13 onedayatatime13 is offline
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Always bring a change of clothes as well just in case. Most people are in Jean's, sweatpants, sweatshirts etc. A few dress up, but not too many.
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Old 03-26-2019, 08:16 PM
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This facility said no sweatpants or hoodies. No tights or leggings or spandex. I'm beginning to think they want us to come in looking like my kindergarten teacher with a oversized sweater and a brooch. Lol!
I'll definitely bring several changes of clothes in my car just in case.
My son gets to go next weekend because he's considered immediate family. My loved one is married to someone else. She's bringing my son and her kids( just so this doesn't get confusing- her 4 kids have the same father as my son. She's his wife, not me) so I must wait until I get approved to visit which should hopefully happen soon. This way I can take my own son on Mondays and she can take her kids on Sundays. I can't wait to see him!
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Old 03-26-2019, 08:21 PM
onedayatatime13 onedayatatime13 is offline
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There are different rules for different places. Someone deal with your location or Feds? Facility can give you more insight.

I know you want to look good, but too good can cause problems for him. Which is why simple is best
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Old 03-26-2019, 08:39 PM
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I called and they sent me the handbook. It said nothing that is cropped, no shorts, leggings, that type of deal. This dress code makes it very hard to pick outfits. I may have to buy jeans and a sweater.
( English isn't my first language but I'm trying my best to communicate here. If words are not correct)
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Old 03-26-2019, 08:42 PM
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I am American US citizen but wasn't born here. Hopefully this won't slow the approval process. I can show all needed documents and show I have son of his . ( We had DNA test 6 years ago so I have proof)
I understand that since I'm not married to him that I'm not immediately family though so I must wait my turn. I'm just glad my son will get to go sooner though.
They did say little kid can wear shorts just not adults. I'm dressing my son in his school clothes, just t-shirt and jeans.
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Old 03-27-2019, 12:59 AM
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I think the skirt may be ok unless it has a split but the shirt is way too low. The important thing is to get your visit so dress very conservatively don’t take chances and if you can take a spare outfit in your car in case you get denied and need to change.
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Old 03-27-2019, 05:32 AM
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Default Jean's and sweater

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sidebiotch View Post
I called and they sent me the handbook. It said nothing that is cropped, no shorts, leggings, that type of deal. This dress code makes it very hard to pick outfits. I may have to buy jeans and a sweater.
( English isn't my first language but I'm trying my best to communicate here. If words are not correct)
I ran into the same issue when my guy went in a couple of months ago. So i'm wearing jeans and a sweater once in awhile i wear one of his thermal tops. I'm the type that like cami tops and hooded sweat shirts and leggings but can't wear them.
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Old 03-27-2019, 06:27 AM
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I’ve come to learn that the federal prison system is so much worse than the state prison system. They scrutinize every single thing one wears so what you think is appropriate they will not, so imo jeans or slacks and a long or short sleeve shirt/tee may be your best bet.
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Old 03-27-2019, 06:33 AM
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The biggest unknown in many federal prisons is who is working as a CO in the visiting room that day. The rules won't change, but the enforcement of them might.
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Old 03-27-2019, 07:38 AM
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Just be prepared for anything! I've visited a USP federal prison numerous times and it seemed each time went differently depending on the CO working. Always have a few different outfits packed just in case.

Funny enough the place they were most strict about the dress code was when I went to visit my guy at the Halfway House!

Hope your visit goes well
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Old 03-27-2019, 08:09 AM
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Ive not visited a federal prison, but in CA you cannot wear blue jeans. Black ok.
White is subjective. (if you could see thru it in anyway whatsoever...forget it)
Anything too form fitting will also be rejected.
So basically yes. A burlap sack as long as your knees dont show.
Colors are also an issue. Anything that resembles inmate attire is not allowed, or anything the same color as the CO's.
Watch out for too much jewelry as well.
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Old 03-27-2019, 09:53 AM
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Thank you everyone for replying to me. It makes me feel better when I read things here. Besides knowing that I'm not alone, it also helps because you guys have much more knowledge than I do.
English isn't my first language so it's often difficult to understand when communicating but I feel much better now that I've been here reading and interacting.
Someone messaged me that is of my same background and explained that I should pick my outfit like I was going to a conservative synagogue or Temple and I should be fine. ( Less skin showing the better) so I now I have a really good idea of how to dress while still expressing my individual style and preference.
The rule list they sent me was quite confusing and left many grey areas like they could deny an outfit for any reason they felt like. Lol!
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Old 03-27-2019, 11:14 AM
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My guy is in FEDS. I wore/wear fitted jeans, comfortable fitted tops. I wear hoop hearings, rings, bracelet. Watches are no longer allowed.

One female was turned away for wearing jeggings and one got through wearing open toe 4 inch heels.

It depends who is manning the desk.

Last edited by BearsLadyBear; 03-27-2019 at 11:17 AM..
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Old 03-27-2019, 11:41 AM
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How exciting!! First visit My husband is at a higher security federal prison, however, the skirts there must be below the knee when sitting. I prefer slacks and boots. I wear nice blouses and just check for cleavage. I find it easy to look nice and sexy while still keeping my dignity in the visiting room. Lol
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Old 03-27-2019, 12:19 PM
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First visits are full of good emotions.

Enjoy your visit!!
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Old 03-27-2019, 05:52 PM
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When I went to visit my son, I wore jeans, a T-shirt and a pair of slip on sketchers, and a small necklace. He is in Federal so no Khaki or tan, no white, no heals over 2 inches, only one person was dressed up that I saw, and she was an elderly lady in her late 70s early 80s, she had on a long grey dress and nylons and flats and a white sweater, they let her keep her sweater on even though it was white, she appeared to be a regular visitor(one who visits often). I did notice most of the women wore little to no jewelry.
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Old 03-27-2019, 06:22 PM
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Thanks everyone. I will leave all of my jewelry at home that day just so I don't have to worry about them saying no jewelry.
They did say I'll have a locker in waiting area to keep my purse or I can put it in my car.

I'm so excited to see him. I'm also sad that they didn't consider me immediate family though. They said wife ( who you are legally married to) , kids, parents are immediate family. Those people don't have to wait for the long approval process because they were already processed during pre-sentencing report or something like that. I must wait for approval before going because apparently mistress/second in command isn't immediate family. LMAO! ( Don't judge- not all families are the stereotypical mom, dad and 2 kids with a white picket fence!) I have a 6 yr old son with him and have been seeing him for 8 years . ( He was with me 3 days a week and 4 days a week with her. In total he has 5 boys. Only one is with me)
My world turned upside down when everything happened as I had no idea he was breaking any laws. One day the door came crashing in and my heart sunk. I had no idea. The FBI and prosecutors office took me and I was interviewed for 4 hours. I didn't know what was going on. They told me of his crimes and I thought that they made a mistake. Until he then told me that it was true and that he was guilty of everything they claimed.
It took about 1.5 years for the case to work through the courts and such. He didn't go to trial, he pleaded guilty and took a deal. Now I'll be waiting 5 years for him. I am working on coming up with a plan to keep myself busy. I can't lay here and cry anymore. It's not fair to my son. I must find a way to lead a productive life while he's there. ( I've been laying on the couch eating 2 bags of Oreos and a gallon of ice cream every night. I've gained 7 pounds in just a couple weeks! So I need to get myself together)
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Old 03-27-2019, 06:27 PM
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Here is my plan so far-
Go to the gym- I will take care of myself so I can look my best for him when he returns and be healthy.
Eat better- no more eating bags of cookies every night because it's not good for me and doesn't help me towards my goal.
No more crying all day- instead be productive for my son's sake.


That's all I have so far.

What are some other things that you guys do to help pass the time in a productive manner?
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Old 03-27-2019, 07:31 PM
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Would you be able to get a job? That would help pass the time. If you don’t already have one., reading, taking walks, maybe join a book club? It’s hard to get into a new routine.
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Old 03-27-2019, 07:36 PM
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At this point in our journey. I've gotten use to the prison ups and downs.

No longer are the days that my phone is glued to my hip and stalking the mailman and stressing about not hearing from him. This took time.

To cope, I pray, read, walk around the lake, I work full time. I am a full time mom. I enjoy a spa day every 3 months.

I had to learn to stop absorbing myself with prison stuff and focus on living out here.

I want to add. Be patient with yourself this ride is not easy
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