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  #1  
Old 03-27-2019, 02:09 PM
Helloagain37 Helloagain37 is offline
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Default Intoxication manslaughter/ assault-need advice

Hi this is my first message. Iím so happy to find this community. I was charged with both intoxication manslaughter and intoxication assault in July 2018 and we are getting down to the wire now. I didnít have the money to hire a good attorney. And I wouldnít let my mom sell her house and cash out her retirement to do so (Iím a 32 year old woman). So Iíve been given a court appointed attorney, and Iíve actually been very happy with him. Heís available any time I need him and Iíve spent hours in his office. But last week I received my first offer from the DA- 18 years TDC with deadly weapon. I am ready and willing to take responsibility for the decisions I made and to accept the punishment for that. But 18 years doesnít feel right in my heart. I absolutely wonít put the family through a trial. While there are some causation issues, I donít think thatís fair to them and too risky for me.

And after Iíve rambled on... I guess my question is if anyone has any experience or thoughts on going before the judge for sentencing. My preference and plan at this point is to just try to negotiate a better plea deal. Weíre going to counter with 12 and pray for the best. The truth is, Iíll go to my time and deal with what comes. But my parents are just crumbling at the thought of these large numbers. And if thereís something I can do to soften the blow for them, I want to.
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Old 03-27-2019, 04:52 PM
trauma4us trauma4us is offline
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Regardless of the situation, I'm sorry you are facing this much time. Nothing will bring back those that were lost.

I'm on the other side: I'm the Mom and my son ended up with a plea deal for 8.5 years. It is very hard on parents (our son was 28 when sentenced) and yes, things happen during incarceration. However, we all get thru it (we are 5+ years into this now).

Do what you think is best for your situation. Your parents will get thru this - I know its hard right now but it will work out. I'm truly sorry that you and your parents are going thru this. Believe me, I know the heartache of visiting my son in prison.

Take care - the waiting is the worst part.
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Old 03-27-2019, 05:24 PM
fbopnomore fbopnomore is offline
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Welcome to Prison Talk. I applaud your decision to not let your Mom ruin her financial life to hire a private attorney. Since your lawyer is working as hard as he/she seems to be, you already have someone who can do as good a job as a private lawyer anyway.

I hope the prosecutor will agree to a more reasonable prison sentence, but it will eventually be up to the judge. Your attitude is appropriate, serve your punishment, but never forget that it will end.
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Old 03-27-2019, 06:13 PM
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Your court appointed attorney has plenty of experience with that particular prosecutor and that particular judge. S/he should be able to help you with what would probably happen with a blind plea, and whether that is a good idea or not.

Invite your parents to attend Al Anon meetings - those are 12 step support groups for people who love people with addiction issues. Doesn't matter whether you have an addiction issue or not - people there have been through it. They have watched their loved ones go to prison for far less than what you are dealing with. They will be able to lend your parents support as they deal with your crime and your sentence.

You can tell them that this will help you both with sentencing and with parole to sweeten the idea of going for them. Both judges and the parole board like knowing that you are coming out to a support system that is not in denial and is fully capable of helping somebody who reads like a person with an addiction issue.

You can take affirmative steps with a substance abuse evaluation, AA/NA, anger management (if relevant), individual therapy, rehab (if relevant), and addressing not just what you did but what led you to make the decisions you did, as well as to deal with the emotional consequences of taking a life. You might also want to check into restorative justice, especially when you are in prison. Btw, a lot of Aa meetings are at the same time and very close to Al Anon meetings, so you could find a meeting or two each week that you can all go to, supporting each other even as you walk into different buildings or rooms.
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Old 03-27-2019, 06:33 PM
Sidebiotch Sidebiotch is offline
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I'm really sorry.
I don't have any useful information to share but still wanted to show support by commenting.
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Old 03-28-2019, 02:52 PM
Ccorona Ccorona is offline
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Regardless of how much time you receive (I hope for you and your family that the years fly by) I hope when the time comes for you to be home that this is never an issue for you again. I had to give my brother the new that his daughter was killed by a drunk driver and it's been the most difficult thing that I've ever had to do.

Last edited by Ccorona; 03-28-2019 at 02:55 PM..
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Old 04-02-2019, 09:56 PM
Helloagain37 Helloagain37 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trauma4us View Post
Regardless of the situation, I'm sorry you are facing this much time. Nothing will bring back those that were lost.

I'm on the other side: I'm the Mom and my son ended up with a plea deal for 8.5 years. It is very hard on parents (our son was 28 when sentenced) and yes, things happen during incarceration. However, we all get thru it (we are 5+ years into this now).

Do what you think is best for your situation. Your parents will get thru this - I know its hard right now but it will work out. I'm truly sorry that you and your parents are going thru this. Believe me, I know the heartache of visiting my son in prison.

Take care - the waiting is the worst part.
Thank you for your response. Yes the waiting is starting to wear on me on and my parents. Waiting for the next reset on 5/6. A part of me is hoping we have a plea deal settled then so I can go ahead and get this started. But now that I know how much time I could be facing, a part of we wants to enjoy as much free time as I can. Are these the last free days of my 30s? The last days I get to spend with my dog? Things like that. Itís a weird feeling.
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Old 04-02-2019, 09:58 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sidebiotch View Post
I'm really sorry.
I don't have any useful information to share but still wanted to show support by commenting.
Thank you. That means a lot
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  #9  
Old 04-02-2019, 10:02 PM
Helloagain37 Helloagain37 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yourself View Post
Your court appointed attorney has plenty of experience with that particular prosecutor and that particular judge. S/he should be able to help you with what would probably happen with a blind plea, and whether that is a good idea or not.

Invite your parents to attend Al Anon meetings - those are 12 step support groups for people who love people with addiction issues. Doesn't matter whether you have an addiction issue or not - people there have been through it. They have watched their loved ones go to prison for far less than what you are dealing with. They will be able to lend your parents support as they deal with your crime and your sentence.

You can tell them that this will help you both with sentencing and with parole to sweeten the idea of going for them. Both judges and the parole board like knowing that you are coming out to a support system that is not in denial and is fully capable of helping somebody who reads like a person with an addiction issue.

You can take affirmative steps with a substance abuse evaluation, AA/NA, anger management (if relevant), individual therapy, rehab (if relevant), and addressing not just what you did but what led you to make the decisions you did, as well as to deal with the emotional consequences of taking a life. You might also want to check into restorative justice, especially when you are in prison. Btw, a lot of Aa meetings are at the same time and very close to Al Anon meetings, so you could find a meeting or two each week that you can all go to, supporting each other even as you walk into different buildings or rooms.
Thank you so so much for the information. I do go to therapy but have not gone to AA or rehab as I donít have any substance abuse issues. Iím 9 months sober with no problems. Do you know if restorative justice is something thatís only available through prison?
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Old 04-02-2019, 10:03 PM
Helloagain37 Helloagain37 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fbopnomore View Post
Welcome to Prison Talk. I applaud your decision to not let your Mom ruin her financial life to hire a private attorney. Since your lawyer is working as hard as he/she seems to be, you already have someone who can do as good a job as a private lawyer anyway.

I hope the prosecutor will agree to a more reasonable prison sentence, but it will eventually be up to the judge. Your attitude is appropriate, serve your punishment, but never forget that it will end.
Thank you so much for your words of encouragement ❤️
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Old 04-25-2019, 10:08 PM
satx18 satx18 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Helloagain37 View Post
Thank you so so much for the information. I do go to therapy but have not gone to AA or rehab as I donít have any substance abuse issues. Iím 9 months sober with no problems. Do you know if restorative justice is something thatís only available through prison?
One of the best (in my opinion) restorative justice programs offered in TDCJ is Bridges to Life. It is faith-based, but not preachy, and is totally a volunteer-run program (all TDCJ does is provide space and an audience that chooses to attend). It is in many, but not all units. Check with the chaplain at the unit to see if it is available there and how to get signed up. It is a tough, but great program when you are ready to do the self-examination, figure out how you got to this point in your life, and how to make the future different.
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Old 04-26-2019, 09:01 PM
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You cannot do restorative justice programs prior to prison. Why? Because you do not want to add charges of witness tampering to your laundry list of offenses.

You want to ask your attorney about the benefits of AA, and of Al Anon for your loved ones. It isn't just about staying “sober”.
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