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  #176  
Old 10-20-2017, 06:54 AM
whataride whataride is offline
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Havent posted in ahwile, as of today we have 3 months left as she has earned all her gain time so unless does something serious to lose it we are good. She graduates from the year long drug program next month but will ask for an extension so she can stay in that dorm until closer to release. The drug program is kept separate from the rest of the compound at all times so she feels more comfortable there and is kind of in a bubble versus GP.
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  #177  
Old 10-20-2017, 07:43 AM
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Havent posted in ahwile, as of today we have 3 months left as she has earned all her gain time so unless does something serious to lose it we are good. She graduates from the year long drug program next month but will ask for an extension so she can stay in that dorm until closer to release. The drug program is kept separate from the rest of the compound at all times so she feels more comfortable there and is kind of in a bubble versus GP.

Bubbles are good. Hopefully she can stay in the dorm for her last two months. I'm assuming they keep some to mentor those still in the program.
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  #178  
Old 10-22-2017, 03:37 PM
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Bubbles are good. Hopefully she can stay in the dorm for her last two months. I'm assuming they keep some to mentor those still in the program.
Being outside with all the old temptations is going to to be very stressful. Best of luck to her.
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  #179  
Old 10-29-2017, 12:38 PM
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Just wanted to give a quick update. It's been almost 3 weeks since AM came home. She started work last week. AM is working part time because she is taking care of both her kids and mom who has been having medical issues for several months. AM came home just in time, and she had to just jump back into it. But she doing well and I'm proud of her. She is so much happier even with all new load on her. I can see it in her eyes. The kids are better too, but they have had to go through some readjustment.

The last six weeks in prison were insanely stressful for everyone because the lack of a release date. There is stress now, but it's less and there are so many good things to offset it. Words can't describe.

I wish I could say prison was in rearview mirror, but AM's ex and the father of her kids was sentenced last week. There are also a handful of women that AM left behind that helped her. AM did what she could, even giving away her eyeglasses.
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  #180  
Old 10-30-2017, 09:20 AM
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MissingDee, The best way to get an annoying song out of your head, for me...is to listen to it repeatedly until I just can't listen to it anymore. I'll either begin to like it or it's gone. Either is good for me. I'm glad your SO is back home and your new normal has changed for the better.
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  #181  
Old 10-30-2017, 12:00 PM
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MissingDee, The best way to get an annoying song out of your head, for me...is to listen to it repeatedly until I just can't listen to it anymore. I'll either begin to like it or it's gone. Either is good for me. I'm glad your SO is back home and your new normal has changed for the better.
Al
When I was in junior high, Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby" was topping the charts. Our local radio station had so many requests for it (for far too long) that one night they played it 18 times back to back. I know I was over it after that night.

By the way, good to see you here. It's been a while!
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  #182  
Old 10-30-2017, 02:49 PM
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Just wanted to give a quick update. It's been almost 3 weeks since AM came home. She started work last week. AM is working part time because she is taking care of both her kids and mom who has been having medical issues for several months. AM came home just in time, and she had to just jump back into it. But she doing well and I'm proud of her. She is so much happier even with all new load on her. I can see it in her eyes. The kids are better too, but they have had to go through some readjustment.

The last six weeks in prison were insanely stressful for everyone because the lack of a release date. There is stress now, but it's less and there are so many good things to offset it. Words can't describe.

I wish I could say prison was in rearview mirror, but AM's ex and the father of her kids was sentenced last week. There are also a handful of women that AM left behind that helped her. AM did what she could, even giving away her eyeglasses.
It seems her re-enty is going very well! That's great! How did her ex make out at sentencing?
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  #183  
Old 10-31-2017, 06:18 AM
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Well the issue was this....I always made sure Dee was well-taken care off. She didn't need to have a hustle. So a lot of women assumed I was a "trick" to be pulled. This one somehow got my address (PO Box) off an envelope.
I try to take care of my LO best I can, throwing money on her books etc. Some random girl mailed me just "saying hi" and that confused the hell out of me. now it makes some sense, if I'm thought of also as a "trick" - i do know my LO has told the entire prison about us...I love that she loves me that openly, but some things might be best left on the down and low...?
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  #184  
Old 10-31-2017, 01:02 PM
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I try to take care of my LO best I can, throwing money on her books etc. Some random girl mailed me just "saying hi" and that confused the hell out of me. now it makes some sense, if I'm thought of also as a "trick" - i do know my LO has told the entire prison about us...I love that she loves me that openly, but some things might be best left on the down and low...?
It's difficult for them to keep things on the down-and-low when it's clear that they have money/commissary/clothes. Girls also will go in other girls' cells and get in their address books and such. If they want the information they'll find it. So unless they want to give the appearance that they're roughing it...eventually people are going to ask questions. And factor in visits and phone calls.....put this way, as I'm very obviously of varying European origins and she is very obviously Mexican, telling people "that's my brother" wouldn't have passed muster.
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  #185  
Old 10-31-2017, 01:03 PM
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MissingDee, The best way to get an annoying song out of your head, for me...is to listen to it repeatedly until I just can't listen to it anymore. I'll either begin to like it or it's gone. Either is good for me. I'm glad your SO is back home and your new normal has changed for the better.
Al
Al! Always good to see you stop by. Things are definitely changed for the better....each day brings its own trials, but what's the saying? A bad day in the free world is better than a good decade locked up...
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  #186  
Old 10-31-2017, 02:18 PM
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I try to take care of my LO best I can, throwing money on her books etc. Some random girl mailed me just "saying hi" and that confused the hell out of me. now it makes some sense, if I'm thought of also as a "trick" - i do know my LO has told the entire prison about us...I love that she loves me that openly, but some things might be best left on the down and low...?
It's hard for them to keep anything, no matter how personal or trivial, a secret inside. Also, having a loyal, loving guy is a really big deal to them.
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  #187  
Old 10-31-2017, 04:05 PM
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It's hard for them to keep anything, no matter how personal or trivial, a secret inside. Also, having a loyal, loving guy is a really big deal to them.
Agreed. If you consistently support someone inside you will become known to others. Staff and inmates will both talk. In AM's prison it was not the norm for guys or girls to stick with and hold down a woman inside. AM and some of the inmates I came to know around her made that clear to me.

You really know you're not a secret when you find out that even the Chaplain knows about you. lol.
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  #188  
Old 10-31-2017, 06:09 PM
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It seems her re-enty is going very well! That's great! How did her ex make out at sentencing?
<10, but still no details as to the charges or if this was just for the first trial. I'm not asking questions at this point. Just know now he is going to prison for at least a few years.
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  #189  
Old 11-01-2017, 12:33 AM
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It's difficult for them to keep things on the down-and-low when it's clear that they have money/commissary/clothes. Girls also will go in other girls' cells and get in their address books and such. If they want the information they'll find it. So unless they want to give the appearance that they're roughing it...eventually people are going to ask questions. And factor in visits and phone calls.....put this way, as I'm very obviously of varying European origins and she is very obviously Mexican, telling people "that's my brother" wouldn't have passed muster.
that's true. nobody ever helped out my girl and she had to work chores for other inmates to earn commissary, etc. then I come along and I have no idea how much is a decent amount so I put $100, hoping she won't be offended by it being too small or something. LOL I learned quick that it went a long way :P I've only done time once and that was two whole weeks in county lockup. Not long enough to even learn how commissary works or how much you need, how much things cost, etc.

And at visitation, the white girl kissing the guy who's, uh, very not white, in fact, a race you just don't see on the inside but maybe 1 or 2 tops, yeah that draws attention. COs gossip just as much as the inmates!
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  #190  
Old 11-01-2017, 01:05 AM
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I wish I could say prison was in rearview mirror, but AM's ex and the father of her kids was sentenced last week. There are also a handful of women that AM left behind that helped her. AM did what she could, even giving away her eyeglasses.
It's weird, and folks say when you get out you get OUT, and forget about everything, including the people. Makes sense; you want to leave that part of your life behind you.

Like I said I only did two weeks in county, which is nothing. But I ain't never been in trouble before at all, I didn't know diddly-squat about the unwritten rules, and while county has crap facilities people tend to be on their best behavior because most are waiting for trial and don't want to screw things up.

I got a lot of people's phone numbers, and promised to lend folks a hand if I could on the outside. The first night out, I couldn't stop crying, because I made a six-figure bond and I had gotten to know a lot of good folks who were stuck on the inside because they couldn't get $200 together to bond out, and the guilt I felt, and the anger I'd never felt before until now about the inequities of our "blind" justice system...I'm always going to be volunteering or working for policy change in our correctional system now and in the future because of my experience. There were so many people who lent me a helping hand, gave me advice, taught me the ropes, getting nothing in return because I had nothing to give.

Maybe a month after I got out, I'm hanging out downtown Nashville. I'm dressed nice, my ride is Italian and fast as hell...and a homeless man comes up to me. Which happens all the time. But this one knew my name, and after a second I recognized him and I knew his. This man always told me, when I was walking circles going out of my mind, "hey man, don't sweat it, it'll all work out sooner than you think". Those words of encouragement helped. And then he offered me some food, to be hospitable. I learned a lesson about humanity that I will never forget. Now, I'm back to being a white-collar professional with a lot of education and an income that I can't complain about, but now in my circle of friends are ex-cons and folks I only knew when I was in jail...the kind of people that folks in my socioeconomic level avoid walking near on the street or get nervous standing next to in an elevator. As a society we dehumanize inmates. That has GOT to stop. I'd go so far to say that it's one of the remaining prejudices we must overcome.

Anyways, lockup was painfully lonely as hell because that's how I found out my ex wanted to leave me. In a total surprise move, she spun the mother of all tall tales then called the cops. Her lies were so outrageous that the cops HAD to haul me in, because what if even 10% of it was true? If they let someone like that go they wouldn't be doing their jobs protecting the neighborhood. It's crazy, how you can just tell the cops just about anything, and get someone locked up, and if you're wealthy enough and know good lawyers, you'll get out in a week or two. If you don't, like most people, you could rot there for a year before you get to defend yourself. Ain't no justice in that; being innocent don't help worth a damn if people know you were in jail for a year. Most folks don't understand how the system works; I know I didn't. I really didn't know the difference between the local county drunk tank and a maximum security penitentiary.

I decided that, knowing how much it means to people to have someone care about you on the outside, I'd write a girl and be a friend, someone she could write or call or ask for $20 for phone calls (GTL....oughta call it WTF - the wealthiest people in America wouldn't want to pay their rates, and here they go charging our poorest folks those crazy rates, just because they can). Never thought it would grow into something beyond that, but it did, in a big way!

Funny thing is, how this inmate helped me, an outmate. Gave me moral support, advice, and has been as loyal a friend as you could ask for. She helped me in my real-world life more than I could have imagined. Add in her being pretty cute, and that's a recipe for love! If a girlfriend moved to another city for work, it'd be real hard to keep that long distance relationship going - there's choice involved there. But it's surprising how willing I am to wait for someone I love, however long I have to, because I know that she sure as hell don't wanna be separated from me and it's only the courts and her serving her time that keeps us apart. I never thought I could do a relationship where you can't see each other - long-distance never worked for me. But now, seriously long stretches of time ain't nothing, as long as we get out 30 minutes on the phone and a couple emails a day. I figure, if it's really the PERSON you love, and not their material possessions, or the sex, or any of that, then you can love an inmate pretty much forever.

No one looks sexy in TDOC blues. All you've got is a person's mind, heart, and soul to go off of (well, some beautiful eyes too!) and if you really, TRULY love someone, that's all that matters anyways.

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  #191  
Old 11-01-2017, 01:26 PM
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No one looks sexy in TDOC blues. All you've got is a person's mind, heart, and soul to go off of (well, some beautiful eyes too!) and if you really, TRULY love someone, that's all that matters anyways.
Most visitations AM went out her way to fix up her hair and makeup, but a few days she just showed up natural. She is always beautiful to me, but what I looked forward too was how she looked an hour or so into the visit, when she was at ease and just happy. I could see the change.
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Old 11-02-2017, 10:04 AM
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... No one looks sexy in TDOC blues. All you've got is a person's mind, heart, and soul to go off of (well, some beautiful eyes too!) and if you really, TRULY love someone, that's all that matters anyways.
They feel unfeminine and unattractive in those crappy uniforms. I always make a point of telling my wife she looks great. She might not believe me but it makes her feel better about herself. Incidentally, she does look great to me.
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Old 11-03-2017, 12:14 PM
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I know I gotta chill, and that my LO has been transferred to a minimum-security "transitional" facility about 15 minutes from home, instead of many hours...I got a call last night saying she got there ok but was exhausted. Now I find that on Jpay the option to email has been removed! But all of them got tablets; she called me from one!

Each facility has got a routine, and I guess both inmate and outmate get used to it. Now it's all up in the air and while variability is interesting in real life, when it comes to LOs in prison, the routine is a part of emotional security. Gotta man up and suck up whatever doesn't come in terms of messages or calls for a few days. But I'm missing her BAD.
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Old 11-03-2017, 01:02 PM
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... Each facility has got a routine, and I guess both inmate and outmate get used to it. Now it's all up in the air and while variability is interesting in real life, when it comes to LOs in prison, the routine is a part of emotional security. Gotta man up and suck up whatever doesn't come in terms of messages or calls for a few days. ...
Routine can be comforting. I can look at the clock any time of the day or night and know what my wife's experiencing.
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Old 11-18-2017, 12:36 PM
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I just wanted to check in. AM is hanging in there this week. Her youngest is pretty sick and she picked it up. When she was sick inside it was always tough, because outside making sure she had enough money on her books for the medical visit copay and to buy medicine there wasn't much I could really do. Things are much better in that regard now. That aside, AM has had some problems with getting the records she needs from the state just so she can keep her new job. We had to get the attorney that helped with her parole involved again. Hopefully that issue will work out. The patience learned in prison is still needed daily. A lot of people have come out the woodwork now that she is home. The readjustment is ongoing. Prison is still part of our lives.
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