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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

 
 
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Old 05-28-2006, 06:01 PM
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Em77 Em77 is offline
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Default Gulit, Money, Family, Vent! Advice wanted

I feel that my partners family feels guilty about my partner being inside and only visit him and give him things because of this. Dont get me wrong they do care about him too.
I have only said certain things to my partner about his families behaviour. as I dont want to hurt him. I am geting to the point though where I am going to have an explosive situation with his family!!!
We all know how hard it is to afford things. buying clothes shoes, allocating money for his spend.
I am lucky as I have family to help out with these costs. The problem is every time his family helps with giving him money they complain and put him down. I dont ask them for money but he does, as he doesnt want me to feel the strain for all the costs. I have spoken to his family about this and asked them if they cannot afford or feel uncomforable with giving him money not to.They do give him money to buy shoes and complain to me about it.
I dont know what to do anymore as I am really resenting his family because of what they are doing.
Recently they came over to my house gave me money to drop off to him. When they did they complained about how small my house is and told my kids I need to get a house cleaner as they could see dust and the fish tank needs to be cleaned! When they gave me the money they complained so much about not being able to afford it, I ended up going to their house and giving it back. When I did so they told me they could budget for it and it was fine. I have spoken to my partner about this and he tells me he is very upset at them doing this but can you go back and get the money as I need shoes!!! I can afford to pay for the shoes in a few weeks just not right now. He cant afford to ring and speak to them and a letter can take sometime, as the form is in for the shoes.
I feel like I am swallowing my pride and dignity if I go back and dont want to. I believe his family only give him money and visit him as they feel guilty about him being inside.
They complain before, during and after about how much it costs them to visit him.
They put me down and I dont want to have a horrible relationship with his family as he will always need them in some way but I cant stand the put downs and complaints.
Am I being unreasonable and expecting to much? Does this happen to anyone else?? AAAGGGHHH I am going insane!!!
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