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  #101  
Old 09-16-2016, 03:31 PM
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Im not going to argue my position. We can agree to disagree. We all have our own opinions.
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  #102  
Old 09-16-2016, 04:42 PM
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This is about serial killers not about someone whos crime was a childhood error. It also has nothing to do with being emotionally secure. Its about being smart about who you write to and who you allow into your life. I dont know of one serial killer who has changed for the better or grown out of his crimes. Id be happy to be proven wrong though.
Well of course you don't know of a serial killer who has changed for the better because apparently you've known ZERO serial killers. It's like talking about what it's like to live in the Congo when you've never been to the Congo.

Do you know what I don't like writing? Sex offenders. But yet you'll find a section here called "Loving a sex offender". But I don't ever post in their section nor tell them who to love or allow in their lives. I also don't like writing religious inmates. To each their own.

If you're genuinely curious and you'd like to engage in a spirited discussion about serial killers, then make a new thread. Then members can converse with you at length if that's what you choose.
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  #103  
Old 09-16-2016, 04:44 PM
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Well of course you don't know of a serial killer who has changed for the better because apparently you've known ZERO serial killers. It's like talking about what it's like to live in the Congo when you've never been to the Congo.

Do you know what I don't like writing? Sex offenders. But yet you'll find a section here called "Loving a sex offender". But I don't ever post in their section nor tell them who to love or allow in their lives. I also don't like writing religious inmates. To each their own.

If you're genuinely curious and you'd like to engage in a spirited discussion about serial killers, then make a new thread. Then members can converse with you at length if that's what you choose.
I actually dont want to discuss it. Thank you though.
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  #104  
Old 09-16-2016, 05:13 PM
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My cousin was in several prisons in California.

My uncle kept it secret for several years because he was ashamed of where his son was. Unfortunately for him, he finally told my mother - and since the three quickest modes of communication in the civilized world are telephone, telegraph and tell Christine, within five minutes of her promise to him that she would keep his secret, she was on the phone to everyone she knew to tell them where Garry was.

When I found out where he was, I began writing my cousin once a week. I certainly didn't know not to put my name and home address on the envelope, but luckily, I didn't have any problems from that.

(I am going to be careful with my return address information when I mail my next letter to the California county jail in which he is currently housed, though - and I appreciate that tip!)

One of the first things Garry told me in his reply to my initial letter was, "Don't ask me why I am in here. Don't ask me if I did what they said I did. I am appealing my conviction and since they read all the mail, it wouldn't be a good idea to say anything about it."

Based on that, I agree with the other posters who say that a convicted serial killer will probably not discuss the details of his crimes with someone who writes him.

Unless you want to write a book (and you don't have to interview the prisoner himself to write a book about his crimes), I would listen to the advice from the other posters on this board and leave well enough alone.

Last edited by Tina Balser; 09-16-2016 at 05:20 PM..
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  #105  
Old 09-16-2016, 06:12 PM
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Yeah I think it's way wishful thinking to believe that some infamous guy is going to just automatically start regaling intimate details/feelings about their crimes. It's ludricrous. If anything they'd sell their story as it's obviously worth money. In this original posting the person wasn't even going to tell them their name hehehe. Along with a generic PO address. It's kind of uncouth to believe that you could give so little, but expect so much. Like it's owed to you or that's what it's there for.

Ironically they're the one inmate that DOESN'T need you. They lack for nothing in communications. That's one of the big reasons I think people should just consider writing a guy off a penpal ad. They specifically WANT to have contact with you and are usually grateful to hear from you!

I think that's awesome you've decided to write your cousin I think a special bond is created among your friends that are truly there for you when you need it. For me it's a time of quiet retrospection exchanging with a good listener. I've really appreciated my correspondences and the addition they've made in my life (despite the crimes and mistakes they've made). Studies have supposedly shown that it's also good for prisoners as it keeps them connected to the outside world and law-abiding citizens, while allowing them to exercise things that are often quelled inside the prison (emotions, dreams, introspection, vulnerabilities), much less a way to get away from stress and be entertained. Although it's often not discussed much, most of these inmates will be released back into society with us and the more healthy the better

Why are you worried about your address on the envelope? The most that can happen is some other inmate finds it, writes you, and you casually toss the letter away. However I must mention in the last 20+ yrs (and I ALWAYS put my name & address on it) I've never had a single instance of this happening. In fact (but I'm not sure) I've always thought the prison won't let it pass through the mailroom if it's not evident who it's from. IDK
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  #106  
Old 09-16-2016, 06:31 PM
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Please keep to the OP topic at hand. Also remember our Community Purpose that we are here to offer support, not to judge or compare crimes.
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  #107  
Old 09-18-2016, 06:16 AM
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Jeesz do you really stumble over one word to make a point?
The guy is safely tugged away no one will ever see him on the outside again what IF you are emotional stable is wrong with writing that person??
It is stil a human being even if he never saw his victims that way.
He can't harm you, he is inside what could be the worst he could do to you ??
Nothing you can't tell the warden and he will get into trouble for it.
I do agree with you, I've been studying serial killers for 10 years and have actually corresponded with two inmates. I don't think that there is much to be afraid of as Kemper will never be released, the only reason I have never contacted him is because he is known to never reply.
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  #108  
Old 09-18-2016, 10:42 AM
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just going to leave this here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jason_Moss_(writer)

fwiw, never write people for entertainment, because you're bored, or for any reason other than wanting to extend the branch of friendship. Always be prepared when you do. If you think you're prepared, chances are you're not. Remember, you're spending a trivial portion of your life writing to somebody notorious. For the person you're writing - they have all day for days to dissect every word you write. Some of them are writing back only for entertainment, because they are bored, and they don't want a friend. Notorious criminals can get bags of mail all from people just like you, and plenty of requests from researchers. If they respond, it's rarely because you said anything more genuine or different from the bags of mail that have come before and will come after.

Keep it in mind.
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  #109  
Old 09-24-2016, 05:23 AM
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Personally, I write to serial killers almost exclusively. I usually get replies, but Mr. Kemper, as people have noted, does not respond to mail. He does receive letters, but doesn't respond. He has a job in prison and it's quite happy living out his life where he is with the few contacts he has. I know a person who knows him personally. I still continue to send birthday and holiday cards, because I do genuinely wish him well. Whether he responds one day is up to him. I'm not worried about it.

I'm offended by some of the responses here. Serial killers are people too, and the comments here prove why I write to them. They are among the most hated, misunderstood, and shunned members of the human race and I don't believe anyone deserves that. So I guess, thank you for reinforcing that I'm doing the right thing in extending friendship to these individuals.

I'm currently pen pals with something like 5 serial killers, and a few non serial killers. I dont readily disclose their names because it really annoys me that people are just curiosity or thrill seekers. They're people just like you and me, whether anyone wants to believe it or not. Also, people who sell their letters, envelopes, artwork, etc, really bother me. Those people aren't being genuine in their motives, and that's not cool.

I'd go as far as to say that some of the people I've met in life who have treated me with the most kindness and respect have been serial killers, and they've not asked for anything in return other than my time. Imagine that.

Last edited by Nastyfacts; 09-24-2016 at 05:25 AM.. Reason: Phone auto correcting :(
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  #110  
Old 09-24-2016, 05:22 PM
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I know a person who knows him personally.


Could you please ask that person if his health is good? I heard that he was in a wheelchair and even had a girlfriend who worked at CMF... don't know if any of this is true or not but I'd really like to know how he is doing. I have exchanged letters with other killers and they are usually very nice as well, unfortunately some people are to close minded to see that no human being is either completly perfect or completly evil, even serial killers have their emotions when they really love someone.
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  #111  
Old 09-25-2016, 08:31 AM
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Tata- I haven't spoken to our mutual friend (mine and Mr. Kemper's) in nearly a year. Nothing happened or anything, just life gets away from us, you know? Last time we spoke about Mr. Kemper was probably longer than that, but there was no mention made of a girlfriend or any type of physical disability that would require a wheelchair. I had asked if he received any of my letters and he said he would ask, but I never heard back about that inquiry. All he said was that Eddie is doing well, he's happy, and living life. Maybe I'll shoot him an email and see if there's an update. I'd like to know as well. His birthday is coming up in December, I'm going to send him another birthday card and probably a christmas care package this year. I hope one day he finally responds.

I have written to serial killers since I was 16 years old, some of them very long term and I have not had a single bad experience. Any poor experiences I've had have been from 'normal' inmates.
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  #112  
Old 09-29-2016, 10:25 AM
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No offence to anyone here, but I find it kind of weird how some people are overly fascinated by killers and death row inmates more than "common criminals". I mean seriously, if your goal is to write exclusively to notorious killers... then your motives are likely about finding a trophy or anecdote to tell people. "I wrote to so-and-so for 6 months before he was executed" for example.

Personally, the majority of my pen pals are non-violent inmates who are serving between 5-10 years. The few lifers I wrote to seemed to have plenty of attention from "groupies" already and they didn't prove to be good pen pals for that exact reason, too many people write to them.
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  #113  
Old 09-29-2016, 11:22 AM
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I personally write and wrote DR inmates just to express how heinous I think the punishment is. So no I'm not fascinated by them because of what they did, but their punishment I can't even get my head around it people think the DP is a justified punishment.
Saying you don't want to offend people doesn't mean you don't offend them, to me you sound very judgmental Penpaler
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  #114  
Old 09-29-2016, 12:27 PM
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Saying you don't want to offend people doesn't mean you don't offend them, to me you sound very judgmental Penpaler

You're free to take that point of view, but notice I did say "some people are overly fascinated by" and "if your goal is to write exclusively to". A closer look at the context should tell you I wasn't making a blanket statement about everyone who writes to death row inmates. Plus the fact I said i write to a few of them myself, should make that clear. No need to get up in arms so easily.
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  #115  
Old 09-29-2016, 12:58 PM
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Perhaps your lifers are my Death Row inmates I from my point of view never saw you mention what you are saying now. But okay if you see it like this than I have said it but try to ignore it :-)

Last edited by Raf's Girl; 09-29-2016 at 12:59 PM.. Reason: Typo
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  #116  
Old 09-29-2016, 01:22 PM
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I read a statistic somewhere dealing with guys who are sentenced to life or seriously long prison terms. As long as their crime isn't notorious (BTK, Green River, whatever), by about 10 years, everybody he knew on the outside is out of his life save his mother. No visits, few letters. There are also plenty of guys on DR who aren't there for particularly infamous crimes. As a result, they don't get mail except from asshats like me, and that's only when something legal's coming up.

DR guys are mostly in isolation, especially in Texas, so it's not like they get a lot of contact with other inmates or can create a life with meaning on the inside. Gotta think the lack of letters, the lack of connection is a big contributor to some going completely crazy - psychotic break crazy.

Once you have a handle on this, then you may have a handle on why people write even when they aren't bored, or as groupies, or as murerabelia collectors, or researchers. Compassion still exists in this world. It should, however, be tempered with a measure of preparedness, especially if your PP is on DR. You may be the only real contact a person has with the outside world. You may be the only one tending to his emotional needs when a date gets set. If you aren't prepared for that, and if you aren't prepared for some manipulation (seeing as he's not getting any psychological help and the stressors that led to murder or participation in a murder remain), you aren't ready to write somebody on DR or with a very long sentence.

Compassion doesn't mean doing things you are not prepared to handle.
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  #117  
Old 10-01-2016, 07:12 AM
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Penpaler, the reason I write almost exclusively to serial killers is that I feel I can relate to most of them on a level that I just can't with "normal" inmates. Those of us who have spent our lives being outcast, rejected, sometimes suicidal, and have mental stability issues due to the way we had to grow up often find serial killers to be, not necessarily fascinating, but definitely relatable. This isn't meant to be a "woe is me" post at all, but maybe trying to offer you a different perspective on why someone like me would want to write to a person like Dennis Rader, Edmund Kemper, or Gary Ridgway. We aren't all thrill seekers, and we're not all collecting "murderabilia" (I hate that expression, btw). Some of us just know what it feels like to be rejected from society and want to let someone else know they aren't alone regardless of their circumstances.

I actually only write to one inmate that is in general population and it's because I knew him way back when in high school. All the others are serial killers or death row inmates, and it's for much the same reason. I write to non-serial killers on death row, in particular in Texas. It's not about being a "groupie" (I'm certainly not), it's about extending genuine friendship to individuals who don't know many real friends. As has been previously stated, when a person receives a death sentence their friends and family tend to disappear for the most part over time. It's a very hard burden to carry. I've written to people up until their execution and have cried my eyes out reading their last letters and grieved for them after the fact. I still miss my friends. Trust- it's not about anything other than real, genuine friendship between people who have a better understanding of each other than most. At least, that's how it is for me, and that is why I write to serial killers and death row inmates. Everyone has their reasons, I'm sure.
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  #118  
Old 10-14-2016, 01:53 PM
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Tata- I haven't spoken to our mutual friend (mine and Mr. Kemper's) in nearly a year. Nothing happened or anything, just life gets away from us, you know? Last time we spoke about Mr. Kemper was probably longer than that, but there was no mention made of a girlfriend or any type of physical disability that would require a wheelchair. I had asked if he received any of my letters and he said he would ask, but I never heard back about that inquiry. All he said was that Eddie is doing well, he's happy, and living life. Maybe I'll shoot him an email and see if there's an update. I'd like to know as well. His birthday is coming up in December, I'm going to send him another birthday card and probably a christmas care package this year. I hope one day he finally responds.

I have written to serial killers since I was 16 years old, some of them very long term and I have not had a single bad experience. Any poor experiences I've had have been from 'normal' inmates.
Thank you so much for that! Please keep me updated on that..
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  #119  
Old 10-14-2016, 01:57 PM
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Does anyone here know wether Herbert Mullin still replies to letters??? I've also been interested in getting to know him...
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