Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > RESOURCE CENTER > Domestic Violence
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Domestic Violence News and information relating to domestic violence in general. Please post here if you don't see a sub-forums that fits better.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #26  
Old 09-10-2018, 08:09 AM
Rigora Rigora is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Virginia, USA
Posts: 92
Thanks: 44
Thanked 144 Times in 60 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaazzyjazzzz View Post
Are narcissist truly capable of changing ? I think Iím dealing with one and Iím conflicted with moving on or believing that he could really change . Iíve delt with a lot of emotional abuse from him to the point where I feel like he enjoys seeing me hurt or just doesnít care . There are times where things are really really good, but then in a second things are bad . I honestly love him to death and he says he loves me but he doesnít show it at times . Heíll ignore me but then randomly calls and acts like nothing ever happend . Even when he was out he did these things except for a shorter amount of time. It drives me crazy , I feel like he does it to feel wanted .

A person has to want to change. They have to realize they have a problem and want to actively improve themselves. While I don't have the authority to diagnosis my ex with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, he presents with a lot of the traits, as well as traits of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. He does not think anything is wrong, so there's no reason for him to seek help.
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #27  
Old 09-10-2018, 08:24 AM
Jaazzyjazzzz Jaazzyjazzzz is online now
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: Harris County Texas
Posts: 17
Thanks: 7
Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rigora View Post
A person has to want to change. They have to realize they have a problem and want to actively improve themselves. While I don't have the authority to diagnosis my ex with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, he presents with a lot of the traits, as well as traits of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder. He does not think anything is wrong, so there's no reason for him to seek help.


I feel a lot different when I first posted this . Iím finding my strength bc Iím realizing that itís never going to change and I donít want to deal with the emotional abuse , with the back and forth for the rest of my life. To me it feels like a cycle it happens over and over again . Things are amazing then terrible then he stops talking to me then I ignore him then he tries to get me back . Itís the same thing over and over and itís mentally exhausting. I love him so much but I canít do it . Right now Iím ignoring him and I know that he expects me to fall back into his lap, but Iím not . Im kinda scared when he gets out bc itís not to long from now . He gets pretty angry when I donít give in . I donít know what he might do to be honest ,itís never been a permanent thing .
Reply With Quote
  #28  
Old 09-10-2018, 08:32 AM
Rigora Rigora is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Virginia, USA
Posts: 92
Thanks: 44
Thanked 144 Times in 60 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaazzyjazzzz View Post
I feel a lot different when I first posted this . Iím finding my strength bc Iím realizing that itís never going to change and I donít want to deal with the emotional abuse , with the back and forth for the rest of my life. To me it feels like a cycle it happens over and over again . Things are amazing then terrible then he stops talking to me then I ignore him then he tries to get me back . Itís the same thing over and over and itís mentally exhausting. I love him so much but I canít do it . Right now Iím ignoring him and I know that he expects me to fall back into his lap, but Iím not . Im kinda scared when he gets out bc itís not to long from now . He gets pretty angry when I donít give in . I donít know what he might do to be honest ,itís never been a permanent thing .

When I broke up with my ex, I started seeing a counselor. I've been seeing her for four months, and in that time I've started creating and sticking to boundaries where he's concerned. We have a daughter, so I can't cut him out of my life entirely. In his mind, we were going to be a family when he was released, despite the fact we broke up. I think he's realized I'm serious about the boundaries I have set, more so since I filed for custody.

Try to stay strong and begin to distance yourself from him. It gets easier as time passes, it really does.
Reply With Quote
  #29  
Old 09-10-2018, 08:42 AM
Jaazzyjazzzz Jaazzyjazzzz is online now
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: Harris County Texas
Posts: 17
Thanks: 7
Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rigora View Post
When I broke up with my ex, I started seeing a counselor. I've been seeing her for four months, and in that time I've started creating and sticking to boundaries where he's concerned. We have a daughter, so I can't cut him out of my life entirely. In his mind, we were going to be a family when he was released, despite the fact we broke up. I think he's realized I'm serious about the boundaries I have set, more so since I filed for custody.

Try to stay strong and begin to distance yourself from him. It gets easier as time passes, it really does.


Thank you ! I started seeing a therapist but it didnít really work out . She told me I could not come back until I knew if I wanted to stay or leave . This was before he went to jail. So I guess itís time to go back since I know what I want .
Reply With Quote
  #30  
Old 09-10-2018, 08:50 AM
Rigora Rigora is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Virginia, USA
Posts: 92
Thanks: 44
Thanked 144 Times in 60 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaazzyjazzzz View Post
Thank you ! I started seeing a therapist but it didn’t really work out . She told me I could not come back until I knew if I wanted to stay or leave . This was before he went to jail. So I guess it’s time to go back since I know what I want .

It can be difficult finding a good fit when it comes to a therapist. It is also a two way street, and you have to want to be there. I had no idea why I was going, I just knew I needed to go before my ex was released. My counselor worked with me to figure out just what I wanted to work on (my self-confidence).

I hope that if you start seeing a therapist again, you're able to identify what it is you want to work on and things improve from there. I wish you the best of luck
Edit: I just realized I think I misunderstood why you did not continue seeing your therapist. Did you mean stay with or leave your boyfriend?

Last edited by Rigora; 09-10-2018 at 09:00 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #31  
Old 09-10-2018, 05:09 PM
fbopnomore fbopnomore is offline
Site Moderator

PTO Site Moderator Staff Superstar Winner 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 26,965
Thanks: 41,040
Thanked 19,947 Times in 11,662 Posts
Default

If anybody told me what your therapist told you, I'd be looking for another therapist.
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to fbopnomore For This Useful Post:
Rigora (09-10-2018)
  #32  
Old 09-10-2018, 08:59 PM
Jaazzyjazzzz Jaazzyjazzzz is online now
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: Harris County Texas
Posts: 17
Thanks: 7
Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rigora View Post
It can be difficult finding a good fit when it comes to a therapist. It is also a two way street, and you have to want to be there. I had no idea why I was going, I just knew I needed to go before my ex was released. My counselor worked with me to figure out just what I wanted to work on (my self-confidence).

I hope that if you start seeing a therapist again, you're able to identify what it is you want to work on and things improve from there. I wish you the best of luck
Edit: I just realized I think I misunderstood why you did not continue seeing your therapist. Did you mean stay with or leave your boyfriend?
Yes thatís what I meant.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I think he is a narcissist MissOne When the Relationship is Over... 13 09-02-2018 11:16 PM
Will He Be Capable Of A Relationship countrygirl9 Now That Your Loved One Is Home... 23 09-04-2014 09:06 PM
Are you a narcissist? Babydoll123 Game Room 16 07-15-2010 09:02 PM
Are you capable of killing? Bookworm1 Game Room 33 03-22-2009 04:04 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:30 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics