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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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  #126  
Old 10-07-2018, 05:40 PM
nawlinsrainy nawlinsrainy is offline
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Originally Posted by Marseille View Post
How does he keep contacting you if youíve ďblocked him on everythingĒ? Youíre leaving a key in the flowerpot for him somewhere.

I said I blocked him after the last hot and cold incident.
It says it right there
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  #127  
Old 10-08-2018, 10:40 AM
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So sad. If he is not a narcissist, his traits are really high. Good for you for maintaining. I've done and been through the EXACT same thing.
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  #128  
Old 10-08-2018, 11:02 AM
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Originally Posted by nawlinsrainy View Post
Yes you're right.
I've gone no contact again.
I had a moment of weakness.

I think he's a narcissist- I know everyone says that their ex is a narc- but in this case it's actually true lol
I've blocked him on everything.
Trying to stay strong- I do well with NO contact with him, when I talk to him in any way I get sucked back in.

Everything is still good- my other trip is still on, school is good etc
I'll just keep going!

Understandable! Contact is my weakness as well. I have phone calls scheduled for Fridays at 3:30pm with my ex so he can talk to our daughter, and I actually dread knowing there's a chance he might call. I imagine that with time it will get easier, especially if you stick to the "no contact" part.

Just focus on yourself!
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  #129  
Old 10-08-2018, 04:49 PM
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Originally Posted by MissOne View Post
So sad. If he is not a narcissist, his traits are really high. Good for you for maintaining. I've done and been through the EXACT same thing.
The good news is that I'm becoming sick to death of this fool!
He's becoming boring and annoying to me.
Thankfully-
That's far better than crying my eyes out over this idiot lol
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  #130  
Old 10-14-2018, 03:30 PM
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Just giving an update for anyone who is following and cares about what happens in this train wreck lol

I haven't contacted him.
I went on a date last night- I wasn't really looking to meet someone new; but this guy is really cool so I went.
He's great- tall, gorgeous, really old fashioned and a complete gentleman.
He has a good day job and works on his MBA part time.

Anyway we went out for dinner and then went for a walk-
He kissed me by the river under a street lamp while it was snowing.
It was a really beautiful moment and I really needed something like that.
Not sure what will happen- just kinda going with the flow
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  #131  
Old 11-10-2018, 09:08 AM
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Hi everyone!
Just checking in with a little update.

I've been doing well- I got a second job so I can start saving some money for my forex trading lol
I've been dating- I've met a few really cool guys online and had some really great conversations.
I continued to see the guy who kissed me under the street lamp in the snow- he's an amazing guy.
I went to see him last time ( he lives 4 hours away- he always drives to see me, so I took my turn) he showed me a really great time.
He took me out for dinner, walking by the river, then he took me on a roller coaster, then we went out to a blues bar and then we went back to his house and he set up his spare room for me to sleep in ( very sweet)
We stayed up talking about politics and history for hours and hours.
I didn't stay in that spare room.... I ended up having sex with him all night and then all morning before I drove home- it was glorious and just what I needed after two years of waiting for mwi.
Anyway- we're both students who work full time, so we don't get to see eachother much- we're going to take it slow which works for me a lot, I'm not ready for a full on commitment yet.
I'm looking forward to seeing him again though.

I date the others but don't sleep with anyone else- I do enjoy being taken out again and getting to do my hair and make up.
I'm just having fun I suppose.

I have spoken to the bank robber and he's been trying really hard to prove to me that he's sorry and he wants to get back together.
He has actually been trying really hard- but why do men always realize and start trying when it's too late? Has anyone else noticed that?
They won't listen even though you tell them a million times they're hurting you and you're going to leave- then you finally do and they come back begging and finally acting like they should've all along- smdh.

I told him Im having fun being single and not right now- he said he'll wait for me until I'm ready.
But I don't believe him lol
Who knows- maybe he will wait for me, like I waited for him- but I doubt it haha
Anyway all good here!! Just focusing on my own life and I'm feeling good.

Cleaned all my drawers yesterday and got rid of a bunch of things I don't need.
Today I'm cleaning out my car.
Tomorrow I'm cleaning out my painting art room.
I'm so happy I got that second job too!!!
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  #132  
Old 11-10-2018, 09:56 AM
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Good for you! It sounds like you're having a lot of fun! And congratulations on the second job.
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  #133  
Old 11-10-2018, 10:19 AM
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I am glad you are out there dating and having fun, good for you! Not to be harsh but I do think it is kind of surprising that you feel the need to talk about your MWI ex as "the bank robber" - I understand there is sometimes bitterness when relationships end but if you're truly over him, why not just cut all contact and totally move on with your life - I believe it would probably be the best for both of you

Congrats on your second job - you are doing great and that is good to hear
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  #134  
Old 11-22-2018, 02:14 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nawlinsrainy View Post
Hi everyone!
Just checking in with a little update.

I've been doing well- I got a second job so I can start saving some money for my forex trading lol
I've been dating- I've met a few really cool guys online and had some really great conversations.
I continued to see the guy who kissed me under the street lamp in the snow- he's an amazing guy.

I went to see him last time ( he lives 4 hours away- he always drives to see me, so I took my turn) he showed me a really great time.



He took me out for dinner, walking by the river, then he took me on a roller coaster, then we went out to a blues bar and then
we went back to his house and he set up his spare room for me to sleep in ( very sweet)


We stayed up talking about politics and history for hours and hours.
-


I didn't stay in that spare room....

I ended up having sex with him all night and then all morning before I drove home- it was glorious and just what I needed after two years of waiting for mwi.




I have spoken to the bank robber and he's been trying really hard to prove to me that he's sorry


I got that second job too!!!



EEE! happy for you on the new job/second one, and i am happy at how HAPPY you're sounding..."

AND LOL about calling him that, well, imo he is that so it is not a BAD thing to call him ya know. and "they realize it when it's too late because they are either 1.)selfish during the time they had your wonderful loyal self or #2.(they are just idiots) and or #3.)Weak pathetic and have no love for themselves, let alone some 1 else who is loyal mature faithful wonderful, as you were to your ex. chica. that's why imo.) and i will make this long because i love ur update! i feel your happiness i really do. NEW GUY SOUND AMAZIN' 'and isn't it a great feelin when all is good chica in ur life. #NWI(not worth it)sittin around wasting time and life on a man who clearly is not the one for u, but sometimes it just take longer for us to realize it. You're sounding so happy..." i can FEEL your happiness in this entire thread/post update and remember a few more things i want to post to you this holiday chica:


Talkin' politics and other things for HOURS is the sweetest(When you're moving on/with a great guy etc., and just talking like that and enjoying
each other is truly a blessing, and he sound wonderful) he really do, he sound great... Just remember while you're dating etc., and this guy you(have became intimate with) to:

-
ENJOY LIFE...
Do NOT rush anything.TAKE IT SLOW.(But enjoy him!)wink

ENJOY EACH GOD-BLESSED DAY


and
enjoy being free of ANYTHING/EVERYTHING that is not good healthy for u nor respectful,
because life is too short to sit-n- soak and e all sad because of some "guy."

Glad you're doing well and i just drop ya pm today chica
hugs -n- blessings and happy thanksgiving!
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Last edited by a.rare.love; 11-22-2018 at 02:29 PM..
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  #135  
Old 11-27-2018, 06:17 PM
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Ok it's me again...
Oh boy.....

So, I'm sure all of you are sick to death of me and my ups and downs with this whole damn situation.
But, life is weird and messy and people are crazy ( me)
I figured I'd continue to check in with everyone on my situation if any new developments arise- despite the fact that I know everyone probably thinks I'm an idiot half the time lol

So, things are good! My new job is good, my day trading is going well, school is good! Everything is still on track.
Except--- well Im heading to Texas in 1.5 week to see the bank robber....

The update on that--- I guess things didn't work out so well with his daughter and he isn't going for any kind of custody of her- he's just going to see her when he can and take her out for lunch etc- I don't think he took into account how teenagers can be..
It appears she was playing one parent off the other and she should stay with her mother- I guess she was being super manipulative...
Anyway- he's back at his job that he had at the halfway house- he moved back into the city and got his own place, his PO is giving him a lot of freedom because he's working 14 hours a day and he's doing really well!
So he sorted himself and his life out- then he came back for me.
He apologized profusely- poured his heart out and essentially begged me to come to Texas and was hoping to try again.
He was really heartfelt and explained he felt super guilty about his daughter and wanted to do right by her, but he realized she's not the little 4 year old she used to be etc

I've had him on a sort of probation and he's back to being the man I fell in love with when we were MWI- and he's been consistent about it.
So, Im heading to Texas!
He paid for half my flight and gave me a couple hundred dollars to come down with for spending money while I'm there- my last final exam is next week and my boss at my second job said I could take the 4 days off.

I'll let you all know how it goes when I get back.

I do still love him- I always did.
What we had as MWI was real, it's just that real life got in the way when he got out.
It might not work out, but life is an adventure and I don't have kids or any serious responsibilities that will be impacted if I go.
Im a bit of a free bird, so why not pick up what he's putting down lol

Oh yeah- the guy I really liked that I had sex with all night is mad at me and doesn't return my texts.
I can't blame him though, I was honest about everything and he is done with me now lol

You can't win them all!
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  #136  
Old 11-27-2018, 06:19 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by a.rare.love View Post
EEE! happy for you on the new job/second one, and i am happy at how HAPPY you're sounding..."

AND LOL about calling him that, well, imo he is that so it is not a BAD thing to call him ya know. and "they realize it when it's too late because they are either 1.)selfish during the time they had your wonderful loyal self or #2.(they are just idiots) and or #3.)Weak pathetic and have no love for themselves, let alone some 1 else who is loyal mature faithful wonderful, as you were to your ex. chica. that's why imo.) and i will make this long because i love ur update! i feel your happiness i really do. NEW GUY SOUND AMAZIN' 'and isn't it a great feelin when all is good chica in ur life. #NWI(not worth it)sittin around wasting time and life on a man who clearly is not the one for u, but sometimes it just take longer for us to realize it. You're sounding so happy..." i can FEEL your happiness in this entire thread/post update and remember a few more things i want to post to you this holiday chica:


Talkin' politics and other things for HOURS is the sweetest(When you're moving on/with a great guy etc., and just talking like that and enjoying
each other is truly a blessing, and he sound wonderful) he really do, he sound great... Just remember while you're dating etc., and this guy you(have became intimate with) to:

-
ENJOY LIFE...
Do NOT rush anything.TAKE IT SLOW.(But enjoy him!)wink

ENJOY EACH GOD-BLESSED DAY


and
enjoy being free of ANYTHING/EVERYTHING that is not good healthy for u nor respectful,
because life is too short to sit-n- soak and e all sad because of some "guy."

Glad you're doing well and i just drop ya pm today chica
hugs -n- blessings and happy thanksgiving!
You're my favourite person on this website- I always read your comments and I love how supportive, energetic, and kind you are!!
You're seriously wonderful
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  #137  
Old 11-27-2018, 06:30 PM
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A sweet little anecdote-
When I would fly from Canada to Louisiana to visit him in prison- I would sing this song to him in the visiting room.
He sang it back to me recently on Skype.
It was terribly romantic.

I may be back here crying again lol- but for now, MWI is back on
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  #138  
Old 11-27-2018, 06:57 PM
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One more song.
I used to sit in my room playing this on guitar crying lol
Not it's not so sad

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  #139  
Old 11-28-2018, 02:42 AM
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Thank you for the update.

I hope it all goes well for you both.

Best wishes,

Shelby
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  #140  
Old 11-28-2018, 08:06 PM
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Cool, I'm also graduating next week and do stock trading! Good luck with your guy, he sounds like one of the good ones
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  #141  
Old 12-11-2018, 06:47 PM
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Hey everyone- I'm in texas with my sweetie.
Just a his place waiting to pick him up from work ( I'm using his truck )
We're having a really nice time- we're going on a day trip to Austin tomorrow and hill country.
I'm excited!
Staying in tonight to watch movies and get take out.
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  #142  
Old 12-11-2018, 10:51 PM
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Sigh. Caution.

Dee is pulling this same sort of tactic on me right now. It's somewhat effective, but.....

I know where this road leads. I've put it on her to make the effort. A short-term showering of love and affection is great and all. But if it doesn't work....are you going to regret blowing off the new guy for a few days in Texas with your bank robber? Are you going to be asking yourself "what if" the other way?

That's why I'm not rushing back to Dee at the first sign of her deciding she wants to work on things after all. I'm giving her opportunities to show me something different, sure. But I'm not switching gears and rushing to making her priority # 1. I've proven myself. I've invested everything. She's invested....some time and has shown that when there's nobody else around that I am a priority. And it feels good to be a priority. But I can't help but think in the back of my head.....when does that stop? And why make her a priority again when I have other people in my life who actually have made me their priority without needing for me to be a priority of last resort?

You are like me in a sense...you invested a lot of time, energy and money into this guy.

And when he came home, you were not a priority.

And eventually you started to move on...which is not a bad thing!

But I can't help but feel like there's a decent chance you're getting hoodwinked for something that "feels good now" when maybe there are chances to have something better for yourself.

Just...sigh. Please be careful. I might be projecting a little bit here, and I apologize for that. But keep your eyes and heart open and in your possession at all times while you figure this out.

Good luck.

-E
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  #143  
Old 12-11-2018, 11:59 PM
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After 6 pages of posts of how horrible he treated you now this?
This says a lot more about you than him. Pushover doesn't even begin to describe you.
What ever happened to self-worth and confidence in yourself?
Wow... I'm with missingdee on this completely.
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  #144  
Old 12-12-2018, 04:53 AM
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Iíve been silently following the forum, reading from the shadows since I started writing my penpal in August. Iíve always kept up with your story because it is very relatable for me, the back and forth and constant manipulation is very much my last partner. I feel for you. It was almost impossible for me to break the bond we had and I pined and grieved for him for 18 months before I could finally let go. He kept dangling the carrot then whipping it away and well apparently I had a massive addiction to carrots haha. As painful as it was I learned a very valuable lesson in all of it: love isnít enough. You can love a man with all your heart and soul but that alone isnít enough for a healthy compatible relationship. Iím not going to sit here and judge you for wanting to try as I did the same back and forth for years. I just want to wish you all the best, hope you gain your strength and some clarity and never forget youíre a good woman who deserves a man that is devoted to you xxx

Ps: feel free to DM me if you need a non judgemental ear xx
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Old 12-12-2018, 01:43 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MizzyMuffling View Post
After 6 pages of posts of how horrible he treated you now this?
This says a lot more about you than him. Pushover doesn't even begin to describe you.
What ever happened to self-worth and confidence in yourself?
Wow... I'm with missingdee on this completely.
Are you verbally abusive to everyone you know or just strangers on the internet.
No one has forced you to read this- if it annoys you; how about don't click on the thread?
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  #146  
Old 12-12-2018, 07:01 PM
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MizzyMuffling is blunt, not verbally abusive. You've been open and honest, and it's what you're getting in return. I agree, tread carefully. I hope it works out.
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  #147  
Old 12-12-2018, 07:46 PM
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I commented early on in this thread and just read the rest of it. Nawlinsrainy, I honestly think you need to 100% cut this guy out of your life. I donít think either of you have the same expectations even remotely and you should be single and maybe seek counselling. And I donít mean that snidely, Iím being completely sincere. With how impulsively youíve treated all of this, going back on your word time and time again (I want him, heís horrible, I want him, heís horrible etc) I feel like youíve got some of yourself to sort out. Iíve been in relationships before with a lot of absolutely insane ups and downs and while Iíd never admit it then, I admit now I fed off the drama to an extent, and I see some of that here.

Mizzy didnít say anything abusive... and because you found her bluntness abusive I kind of wonder what you do and donít consider abusive language. Iím not doubting this guy has jerked you around but it does make me wonder what things you might have found wrong/potentially abusive in that relationship (which I guess youíre back in now) that were just real life, reality, and bluntness.

Iím not saying any of this out of disdain for you, itís just that reading this thread has made me feel like 1. You two are not healthy for each other and 2. You need to take care of yourself, because you matter more than him and all of his/this chaos.

You aired your dirty laundry more or less on a public forum and weíre all entitled to voice our opinions, itís something you subject yourself to when you make a post.
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  #148  
Old 12-12-2018, 08:02 PM
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To be honest.. Not attacking you Naws

However, this is an open forum for all to share and comment.

Going forward be mindful of what you share on here..

This is your life not ours.. Thats all I have to say on the matter.
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  #149  
Old 12-12-2018, 11:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nawlinsrainy View Post
Are you verbally abusive to everyone you know or just strangers on the internet.
No one has forced you to read this- if it annoys you; how about don't click on the thread?
I guess I hit a nerve... well, that was my intention.
I'm neither abusive nor do I treat people bad. I'm blunt and I tell it how I see it.
Your reaction tells me even more that you are not 100% sure and I was only trying to make you look into the mirror... good luck.
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Old 12-13-2018, 09:51 AM
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WeepingWillow WeepingWillow is offline
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Push/pull relationships are exhausting.

Yeah, the pull can be intoxicating, but eventually everyone gets tired of instability.

I hope y’all are able to figure out how to get off of this rollercoaster - either by getting on the same page and working things out for good, or walking away for good.

But mostly, I hope you have a great time in Texas! I’m living in Vermont right now and super homesick and jealous :-)
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