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  #51  
Old 01-18-2020, 09:16 AM
MJH141504 MJH141504 is offline
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On his parole conditions paperwork it says no contact with victim without court order and her name. It states twice no contact with her so I still don’t understand
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  #52  
Old 01-18-2020, 09:47 AM
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I personally would stay out of it. She unfortunately isn't to the point where she can walk away for her own good.

You getting involved really isn't good for you either. You need to move on from him and focus on you.
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  #53  
Old 01-18-2020, 02:46 PM
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Working on it. But still I want to understand why it says on parole conditions no contact and if a parolee does have contact, it is allowed? Understanding this helps me move forward and see what this man really is.
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  #54  
Old 01-18-2020, 04:03 PM
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Working on it. But still I want to understand why it says on parole conditions no contact and if a parolee does have contact, it is allowed? Understanding this helps me move forward and see what this man really is.
Parole conditions are parole conditions. Just because it is a condition does not mean that somebody is actually going to adhere to it. this is especially true in domestic violence cases where the victim has not walked away, still thinks that the person is a good person and has bought into the idea that he is sorry and will never do it again.

So, what happens? Nothing until the cops are called or get involved for some reason. And it always happens sooner or later. One day he will be pulled over for speeding, she will be in the car, they will pull up his information and bust him. Or, neighbors will call when the cycle of violence gets back to the violence part and the cops respond. Or, he will take her to the ER to get treatment, and boom. Or, somebody who knows about the parole condition calls when they are out on date night, and the cops find them together.

Either way, it is not your responsibility. If he is seeing her, she is not ready to get out. It is not your fault, not your responsibility and you really need to step away.
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  #55  
Old 01-18-2020, 04:44 PM
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Working on it. But still I want to understand why it says on parole conditions no contact and if a parolee does have contact, it is allowed? Understanding this helps me move forward and see what this man really is.
Tbh I think all its doing is keeping you in their business and looking for a reason to stay involved and/or report him. Understanding that you need to cut ties and leave this be for the parties it directly involves will help you move forward. My impression is you dont want to though and are looking for something to trip him up....
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Old 01-19-2020, 12:34 AM
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**Understanding that you need to cut ties and leave this be for the parties it directly involves will help you move forward. ***
This^^^


exactly. Just that. Dont worry about him. Dont.
The sooner you are done concerning yourself about him, the better for you, and your children.
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  #57  
Old 01-24-2020, 08:52 AM
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I have severed ties long ago and am not trying to trip him up. We have children so I need to understand what could happen and what’s allowed to protect us plus this is a man I’ve been w many years. Love of my life. I want him to get better not just a stat in system. I also need to protect my family by making myself aware which is why I came to this forum. If I only relied on what he tells or told me I would be ignorant and god only knows what his ex would be doing. As a single mother, I need to understand what can or could happen bc if he goes back that could affect child support and other things. So I appreciate your responses. Please do not judge or make me feel more shame about the situation when I’m simply here to understand.
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  #58  
Old 01-24-2020, 10:31 AM
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I am sorry if any especially mine seemed judgemental or hurt you in any way. It was not my intention at all.
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