Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

tnm8 · #1 05-24-2012, 02:47 PM

Now that i am no longer living with him i notice i am distrusting of men. i feel scared. i only ever leave my new place to go to work. i have had a cold and just don't have the confidence it seems. i have always been a homebody but lately i just feel scared of everything. last night he called and i told him i was going to stay out of his life like he wanted. he asked if i was checking up on him and i was like no, have your new girl do that then he said he was joking and that he has no new girl.. he called back like an hr later and i didn't answer. i'm just sick of the mind games and how he toys with my emotions, it just honestly hurts. i am going to focus on myself. on finding the strength inside. of accomplishing my goals in life. i just can't deal with his shit anymore.

nimuay · #2 05-24-2012, 03:28 PM

My ex called for months trying to convince me to marry him - after I sent him back for a PV. He thought he'd proved that he loved me by shaking me 'til my jaw chattered and destroying my grandkids' Christmas presents!

There's a blindness, a mis-translation of 'love', a complete failure to understand. Most of the time they're not sitting somewhere plotting how to make us more miserable, they're just being them, lost in translation.

InmateLover67 · #3 05-24-2012, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tnm8

Now that i am no longer living with him i notice i am distrusting of men. i feel scared. i only ever leave my new place to go to work. i have had a cold and just don't have the confidence it seems. i have always been a homebody but lately i just feel scared of everything. last night he called and i told him i was going to stay out of his life like he wanted. he asked if i was checking up on him and i was like no, have your new girl do that then he said he was joking and that he has no new girl.. he called back like an hr later and i didn't answer. i'm just sick of the mind games and how he toys with my emotions, it just honestly hurts. i am going to focus on myself. on finding the strength inside. of accomplishing my goals in life. i just can't deal with his shit anymore.

Abusers are masters at manipulation and control. He has you under his thumb, or so he thinks.

You need therapy to heal from this relationship. Not trusting is common when you have been abused and decide to leave, so you are not alone in feeling like you don't trust men. Once you have some therapy under your belt, you will begin to trust your choices and someone special will come into your life. Of course, now is not the time to be trying to find a new guy, which I do not see you doing, but get some help, so you can start to heal from this ass.

If you do not get therapy, you will most likely cave in to this dude and possibly hook up with one just like him.

Hun, call and get a therapist,...local DV shelters can get you some counseling.

You should NOT even be answering his calls...block him, tell him you want nothing more to do with him.

Peace~

tnm8 · #4 05-24-2012, 03:49 PM

I don't see myself caving into him at all. now i know how he can get. when he broke up with me in december i was the one contacting him and calling him and being very upset about it... now it is the opposite. i am upset about it but i cant have him in my life, especially when he treats me like that. it doesn't do me any good. i probably won't get in another relationship for a long while. i do need to heal...