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Oklahoma General Prison Talk, News, Introductions & Chit Chat Topics & Discussions relating to Prison & the Criminal Justice System in Oklahoma that do not fit into any other Oklahoma sub-forum category. Please feel free to also introduce yourself to other members in the state and talk about whatever topics come to mind that may not have anything to do with prison.

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  #76  
Old 04-14-2007, 05:41 PM
GOOBERMOM GOOBERMOM is offline
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As long as you have legal paperwork that is registered with the courthouse in the county where the marriage took place, then it is legal. If you said vows to each other without the benifit of a preacher at the institution and having gone to the courthouse to sign the marriage license, then it is not recognized by the state as a valid marriage. It may be a marriage recognized by the two of you, but it is not recognized by the state. If you get married in prison (obviously, it will not be consumated), and decide to end it, then you will have to go through a divorce proceeding if it is after 6 months. If it is before then, it can be annuled. I know all of this as my daughter married AND divorced while her husband has been incarcerated.
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  #77  
Old 04-15-2007, 07:25 PM
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ok, they do recognize marriage by proxy and if you file with the court clerks and are married by a preacher or other clergy at the prison then they recognize it? just making sure that i understand your post
goobermom and thanks for replying on this, my friend has been told that she and her husband are not legally married since the marriage has not been consumated yet. they have been married since dec and all papers filed through the court clerks office and a cerimony performed.
i am wondering how they decide who's marriages are legal and who's are not.
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  #78  
Old 04-15-2007, 09:38 PM
GOOBERMOM GOOBERMOM is offline
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I think that whoever told your friend that it wasn't recognized is full of baloney! My daughter had to pay for a divorce and the marriage was never consumated. It was as legal as a marriage can get. How does anyone know whether a marriage has been consumated or not other than the two parties in the marriage? That person that told your friend that is just all wet! If it has been filed with the courthouse and there has been a ceremony performed by someone licensed to do so, then it is as legal as any other document and has to have a divorce to disolve it.
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  #79  
Old 04-29-2007, 10:16 PM
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Smile marriage

I wondered the same thing when we married. They told me that it is just as legal as any other marriage. but probable if it did'nt work out before he go out, it could probably be annulled instead of having to get a divorce. but we feel just as married as someone on the out side. Because they would not give you a marriage license thorugh the state if it was'nt legal. Carol
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  #80  
Old 05-30-2007, 10:18 AM
justdontknow justdontknow is offline
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Classes? Fill me in please. What all is involved in marrying an inmate? Thanks!!!
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  #81  
Old 08-18-2007, 08:29 AM
falselyaccused falselyaccused is offline
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Talking Marriage

My fiance and I are about to be married by proxy on Halloween. It is legally binding as long as you procur the proper paperwork, have it signed and notorized in all the right places, have your ceremony performed by someone legally allowed to do so and file your license back in to the proper authorities, its a marriage just like any other. Keep in mind that proxy marriages can't be performed in oklahoma, so I was told and all my research confirms, but you can get your papers from Texas, and go there, get everything done and pooof you're married. That marriage just like any other is then recognized by all the states as long as you did your paperwork and were legally able to get married ( for instance you werent already married to someone else). If you don't wanna get married by proxy there you can be married right there in most prison facilities in oklahoma, DOC has a complete list of what hoops you need to jump thru and all the details on their website. Consummation doesnt enter into the process from anything I can find in my research other than it might make it easier to annul rather than divorce if it ends. Makes sense if you think about it, otherwise no one who is physically incapable of *ahem* performing would be allowed to legally marry, for instance someone left unable due to a spinal cord injury, etc. Just my two cents, from what I've been able to find out on the subject.
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  #82  
Old 08-18-2007, 09:07 PM
GOOBERMOM GOOBERMOM is offline
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You can only get an annulment before being married 6 months. After that, there has to be a divorce filed.
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  #83  
Old 04-15-2008, 11:37 PM
montysbaby montysbaby is offline
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Default Info on how to get married

Can anyone offer any info on what all we need to do to get married?

Thanks
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  #84  
Old 04-16-2008, 06:44 PM
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http://www.doc.state.ok.us/Offtech/op090128.pdf

link for DOC's rules
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  #85  
Old 04-18-2008, 09:28 AM
montysbaby montysbaby is offline
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Thank You Very Much For The Info
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  #86  
Old 10-18-2008, 11:51 PM
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I don't know what is involved sorry but when you find out will you tell me?
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  #87  
Old 01-12-2009, 12:34 AM
starnghost starnghost is offline
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Default Marriage Questions

well hello this is my very first post.... hope i do this right
so my boyfriend is in holdenville (davis correctional instatution) the new max side. we have to visit on salite TV it really blows... i really want to be his wife we have been together for 6 years 3 1/2 of them he has been locked up for. If we get married it would be at that same damn TV that im at every week it wouldent be my pic perfect marriage but im not the kinda girl that could see myself buyin a 500$ dress to wear once and spendin all that money on a big wedding anyways. its kinda crazy to say but if i married him now it would be for him and to assure him that i will be here that im not goin anywhere dont get me wrong if he came home tomorrow i would be gettin married ASAP anyways so its not that i dont want to marry him its just under tho's circumstances im kinda if-e. so after all that here is my question should i marry him now for his feelings....
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  #88  
Old 01-12-2009, 08:50 AM
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Why do you have to visit on satellite tv, does it have to do with his level????
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  #89  
Old 01-12-2009, 12:08 PM
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i wish it did...but no. hes Lv. 2 and hasnt had a write up for a year. thats just how they do it on the max side
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  #90  
Old 01-12-2009, 08:24 PM
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I didn't read your info to see how much time he has left, but......and this is only my opinion....I've never really understood why anyone gets married while they are inside. It's just not my idea of a wedding day, much less a wedding night. I want our wedding day and night to be memorable and not because of getting married while he's in.

The only benefit I see to it is that as his wife they cannot tell you they won't talk to you about him, at least that's my understanding. Other than that, I just can't see it.

My guy is a lifer and we may never see his freedom but.....I don't think there's anyway we could be closer than we are now, not even if we married. Seeing as how I've been married.....and for a long time.....I'm not talking from a rookie's point of view.

I also don't think anyone should get married simply because one party wants it more than the other. Nope, both should agree on it.

Last edited by Kbsles; 01-12-2009 at 08:25 PM..
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  #91  
Old 01-20-2009, 11:26 PM
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I just got married in December at Lexington Correctional Center and it doesn't make much sense to a lot of people but I didn't marry him because I wanted other people to agree. I married him because I am totally in love with my husband. I thought about all that stuff people say about it not being the wedding they would want and for them thats great then those people shouldn't. A wedding is just a day. You get married for the marriage and that will last much longer then just that one day. Everyone has some idea of what they want for the wedding day or wedding night but for me, it was the best day of my life even if it was at prison in the visitation room. It's just a place and if your getting married for that then you shouldn't do it anyway. They do give a bit more information to me then they used too but anything I need to know I usually just ask him myself. You can do what you want but my wedding day was perfect and it didnt change the way either of us felt because it was there. A lot of times though guys want to get married while they are in because it makes them feel more secure in the relationship but you got to do what you want. If you get married there you will have to listen to a lot of noise from all sorts of people. You just got to do what makes you happy. Good luck!
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  #92  
Old 01-21-2009, 12:32 PM
docwatchdog docwatchdog is offline
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Originally Posted by Bishopsgirl View Post
I just got married in December at Lexington Correctional Center and it doesn't make much sense to a lot of people but I didn't marry him because I wanted other people to agree. I married him because I am totally in love with my husband. I thought about all that stuff people say about it not being the wedding they would want and for them thats great then those people shouldn't. A wedding is just a day. You get married for the marriage and that will last much longer then just that one day. Everyone has some idea of what they want for the wedding day or wedding night but for me, it was the best day of my life even if it was at prison in the visitation room. It's just a place and if your getting married for that then you shouldn't do it anyway. They do give a bit more information to me then they used too but anything I need to know I usually just ask him myself. You can do what you want but my wedding day was perfect and it didnt change the way either of us felt because it was there. A lot of times though guys want to get married while they are in because it makes them feel more secure in the relationship but you got to do what you want. If you get married there you will have to listen to a lot of noise from all sorts of people. You just got to do what makes you happy. Good luck!
I have to say not all guys are looking for a wife for security. I've seen many that get long sentences that will do everything they can to push the wife and children away thinking that the spouse and kids would be better off with out them being in the picture.

They think the wife will not want to wait that long or remain faithful so they might as well get it over with from the start and act they they are strong and that they don't need anyone.
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  #93  
Old 01-21-2009, 04:19 PM
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well
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  #94  
Old 01-21-2009, 04:25 PM
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I don't think all guys are looking for securtiy in their women by getting married. I think a lot of guys are like that just based on my experience watching my friends go through what they have went through dealing with this prison thing. I think the guys that are thinking marriage will keep the woman faithful thus making them feel secure have seen what my husband has seen several times which is girls coming to visit making promises of being together then the man finds out she is unfaithful the visits slow down and the letters before long stop and by getting married they feel like the woman will be less likely to do that because he is her husband. Unfaithful women have definiately made somethings harder for the ones that stay true. My point was make sure before you get married that they are not doing it to feel more secure in the relationship solely because they should be able to trust first without the piece of paper or it will never work out. They have to know that you're going to stand by them no matter what and getting married shouldn't be the main reason why they believe that.
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  #95  
Old 01-22-2009, 09:43 PM
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I have to say not all guys are looking for a wife for security. I've seen many that get long sentences that will do everything they can to push the wife and children away thinking that the spouse and kids would be better off with out them being in the picture.

They think the wife will not want to wait that long or remain faithful so they might as well get it over with from the start and act they they are strong and that they don't need anyone.

Luckily my husband does not do that, but he is the first person to tell you that having us makes his time feel longer. He said it's tougher when you have people you really love and want to be with all the time.
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  #96  
Old 01-23-2009, 08:04 AM
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If he is going to be in for a while longer a plus for marrying now is if he gets moved to a new facility you don't have to wait for his visitation list to get trasfered before you get to visit him (which can take up to a month depending on the facilities)
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  #97  
Old 01-26-2009, 07:48 PM
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Can anyone tell me how two people can get married with one in county and the other is out and will not serve time but will be considered a felon, therefore, will not be able to visit her "boyfriend", once he goes to prison but as husband and wife she can see him or at least that is what I've been told. This is all new to me. Her court date is 3/3 so she is trying to find out how they can get married before then. Thanks for any help.
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  #98  
Old 03-17-2009, 01:07 AM
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I have to say I can see everyones view on this...from experince. When this long & lonely road started 4 yrs ago he actually wanted to put me down as his sister so I would never lose visitation priveledges do to him having a baby on the way & some will only allow 1 female visitor on their list. I told him no way that it was to big a risk of me losing visitation ever. He told me from the beggining that it is easier doing his time alone. So after the 1st yr he did cut off contact with me. Only lasted 6 months though, lol. Then we just wrote & talked as friends again, that only lasted about 6 months too, lol. We have been friends for 11 yrs now. As some of you know he offically asked me to marry him on Valentines. I would marry him now tomorrow or yestarday. Not because I have anything to prove or he needs the security. Because we are friends that have grown through the years to a place where we find peace, reassurance & comfort in the most difficult & trying of situations. The fact alone that we have continued to strenghten our bond & withstand the test of time speaks volumes to my soul. As far as what people say....I smile as I write this. My mom of course naturally has been unnerved at best that I still even talk to him, my step dad though, after showing him the ring, (yes I bought myself), smiled & said good. He is a good man that made a bad decision & he makes you happy that is what counts. I will admitt that going home w/ out him afterwards would bite. Yet I would still feel his presence with me & would have wonderful dreams that night. For me I am marrying him in the real sense of what a marriage represents...not for any kind of alterior anything. If you have doubts that is your answer for now. Give it more time cause that is where you will find the right thing to do. Hugs & Smiles & Tears!! Be good to you.......
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  #99  
Old 03-17-2009, 02:30 PM
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The best decision I have made in recent time was marrting my true love. I love him more today then I did then and it was only December. He makes me happy and the closeness I feel with him is amazing and honestly it has become closer since I took his last name. I think it became more real to him when we said I do. I couldn't find a better match now matter where I looked. He has given me so much.
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  #100  
Old 05-06-2009, 03:24 PM
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I guess this forum has not been updated in a while. But I just wanted to say congrats to you Bishopsgirl. I too have struggled with getting married while my fiance is locked up. But we have decided to do it and I am happy about it. One thing they are making us do is counseling which I think is great. J has to do 14 weeks for one hour a day with the chaplain. His family is very supportive and they are even coming down for it. But one thing I will say is that if you were NOT with the person before they got locked up slow down and think about things. Justin and I were together for two years and have two children together. We have been through SO much. He only has like 3 years left but we feel like it is the right time for us to get married now. So to those of you considering it, No it is not the dream wedding you wanted as a little girl but if you love him and want to spend your life with him do what is best for the two of you!
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