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  #1  
Old 06-21-2015, 03:48 PM
terrankhaz terrankhaz is offline
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Default New Class C Misdemeanor on Felony Probation. Is there hope?

In Oregon. 22yrold. On 3 Felony Probation ran concurrently for 5 years.

This is mostly ventish/rant-y. I apologize.

Too Long Didn't Read note at the bottom of post.

I feel suicidal and that life just isn't worth living anymore.

tl; dr Is there any hope that I won't goto prison for catching a Class C Misdemeanor while on Felony Probation?
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm 22. I just did 5 months in County Jail (Got out on 5/5/15) on 11 counts of sex offences. 5x Rape 3, 5x Sex Ab 2 1x Sodomy 3.

Girlfriend wouldn't cooperate. Wouldn't goto trial. etc
Hired an attorney for 10k who told me if we went to trial and my gf didn't show up they'd just keep me in jail until they found her and arrested her for contempt.

He told me if I elected to goto trial it'd be a waste of his time and he would drop my case with no refund and told me my only option was to take a plead deal of probation for 3 charges with a suspended sentence of 15 years or goto trial with a public defender and get 30 years in Prison.

I've been homeless all my life. No family. I don't know anyone. I've never had friends. I finally got onto my feet about a year ago, got a job at a bank, bought my first car, bought a home.

Everything was finally looking up!

I'm engaged to a girl I've known for the last 3 years. She was my live in fiance and we got into a loud drunken argument at 3am when the neighbors called the cops. She was angry I was angry at her and she told the cops we'd been sleeping together for the last 3 years (When she was still a minor ) so I was arrested and charged with 11 counts.


Anyways. I took the plea because I felt I had too and I got released on 5/5/15.

I was court ordered no contact with my victim but she sends me atleast 50 texts a day, shows up at the shelter I am staying at, and calls me constantly. She thinks I'm ignoring her but I'm not, I just can't talk to her.

My PO knows about this and shrugs and says it's my issue to deal with.

I was half asleep one day and she called and I answered the phone and mumbled "im not allowed to talk to you." and hung up.

I reported that to my PO who got super pissed off at me and gave me a violation with my punishment being 3 months of day reporting.

My victim/fiance is still contacting me every day and there's nothing I can do and it feels like psychological torture because she thinks I'm ignoring her but I can't tell anyone else to tell her Im not allowed to talk to her or I'd be in violation AGAIN.


I'm hungry, I'm not allowed to eat at the shelter because there's kids there during the day and my stipulation has no minor contact or places minors congregate.

I shoplifted an item worth $2 because I was hungry. 3 hours later, one of the other guys from the shelter who witnessed me do it told the manager who came to the front of the shelter and tackled me and held me down while he had someone call the police because he thought I stole a lot more than I did and he said "I hate you homeless fuckers." while he spit in my hair and pulled my leg so hard it started to make a cracking sound and I couldn;t walk on it for a week.

It seemed vaguely like assualt but the cop said it wasn't assualt because he was entitled to restrain me???

The cop promised me if I admitted to stealing to him he'd just write me a citation and everything would be fine so I said yeah I stole it because I was hungry. Well Im too trusting and he arrested me and I went to jail for 2 hours where I was released and given a court date. He wrote in the report that after miranda [which he never read me! ] I admitted it.

Since then, I got a job washing trucks. But if I get revoked or have to goto a PV hearing, I will lose that job and I owe $20k in restituion/supervision fees and I can't pay if I can't keep my job

What is there left to even live for?
What am I gonna have when I come out at 37 that is worth it to stick around for?

tl dr; I have court on the 24th of this month. Is there ANY chance I won't get revoked? I really don't want to goto prison for 15 years over $2.

Last edited by terrankhaz; 06-21-2015 at 04:13 PM..
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Old 06-21-2015, 04:14 PM
terrankhaz terrankhaz is offline
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Am I just totally fucked then?

No, I have no money for an attorney..
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Old 06-21-2015, 05:23 PM
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It will depend on the judge. Maybe for $2.00 you'll catch another break, especially since it sounds like you are not locked up in the local jail without bond. Why do you think you'll lose your job for going to a PV hearing? That sounds like you are looking at the worst possible outcome, at least for that one. You could also choose to remain optimistic, at least until you know differently.

You should also talk to someone at the suicide hotline. You have a job, things were looking up, yet you have decided that the sky is falling. It is definitely possible that you can pull yourself out of homelessness, and have a successful future. The way to guarantee that things will remain grim is to give up, and stop trying. Keep your eyes on the prize.
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Old 06-21-2015, 05:41 PM
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Here is number and website for The Suicide Hotline:

SUICIDE:
UNITED STATES
NATIONAL
Suicide & Crisis Hotlines
1-800-SUICIDE
784-2433
http://suicidehotlines.com/national.html

Probation is doable, prison is doable...if it even comes to that. And,uh, 37 is not"life over." Hell I'm 58 and still going for the prize. But I'm alive to grasp that brass ring

Welcome to PTO!

EDIT: My Mr is a registered sex offender...its doable as well
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Old 06-21-2015, 06:43 PM
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Please don't do anything you may regret. As other people have pointed out, maybe you won't really do 15 years of prison. However, even if this worst case scenario materialized, you would have something to live for.

Some people are getting released when they are old and can't wait to have a few years of freedom, even at that age. But at 37, you won't be old and if you take care of yourself, you can actually be a strong, healthy person. Some people get to exercise in prison but don't have time to do it much when they are free. There are many people who, for a number of reasons such as divorce, immigration or a huge financial loss, have to start over at that age. At 37, you'll still have some time to pull yourself by the bootstraps before you are old, and many years left in your lifespan, including some of the years of life as a mature adult who is not old yet. Trust me: you won't see the years coming, although this may be less true if you don't keep yourself busy. But even prison has a routine and schedules, jobs, classes, books or other things to occupy your time. They won't just lock you up in a small cell and throw away the key.
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Old 06-21-2015, 07:41 PM
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Thanks everyone.

I'm just scared when I goto plead not guilty on Wednesday that they'll issue a warrant for my arrest over the PV aspect of it.

In my state a Class C Misdemeanor carries a max of 1 year in Jail and I hope the Judge will allow me to stay on my probation.
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Old 06-21-2015, 09:03 PM
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Get your paperwork in for your PD.

Don't assume that you're going to be revoked. Don't assume that if you are revoked, you'll be revoked for the full bit.

Start taking positive, proactive measures to address your offending. I'm assuming you're doing a SO therapy program? Hope you're up to date on that, have a good relationship with your therapist. Might want to talk with your therapist about things you can do to deal with your current charge, including but not limited to understanding other places you can go for food, getting set up with food stamps, getting an address, and anything else you may need.

Make sure you're staying up to date on your other issues - not just your sex offense, but any issues you may have with alcohol or other problems.

I'm assuming you've already reached out to your PO to inform of the class c mis. Don't skip appointments, and meet your obligations.

You're worried about being 27 when you get out. You're worst casing it, and you're doing a bad job of it. Worst case, you're going to be younger than that assuming you get the full boat - you'll get good time credits, and you will be eligible for parole long before your 15 is up. 37 is pretty damned young. Sure, it's not 22, but it's still very young. You're still almost 30 years away from social security, you're still quite capable of having a family as many people wait until their 30's to have kids. You may even be under 30 when you get out, depending on how your state handles good time credits. What part of life is left at 37? You're not exactly limited at 37. It just seems that way because you're very young and you're pretty damned depressed about everything.

Do yourself a favor - go to your cellphone store and have them help you block your gf's number. If she can't respect your need for no contact, you need to take the bull by the horns and block her or change your number. Your cell phone provider will help you with it. Get that bug-a-boo and constant stress off your back, and you'll do better.

Take it step by step. You've got a job - that's great. Put together a plan. Talk with your PD. You're not going to prison on the 24th, so it's up to you to do what you need to to make the judge want to give you probation, for your PO to not want to revoke you. Do what you need to do - if it doesn't keep you out, it will lessen your sentence.

You do have a ton of opportunity left for you. As a SO, you're doing great to have a job, even if it's not as posh as a bank. Use what you have to do what you need to do, and realize - life's a marathon, it's not a sprint. Even if you do 15 years, you still have a ton of time left to live your life.
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Old 06-22-2015, 08:34 AM
terrankhaz terrankhaz is offline
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I was court ordered to do treatment but my PO doesnt want me to start until I have the money to do it to be paid in full. It's like a 5k class on top of the 20k I already owe.
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Old 06-22-2015, 08:37 AM
terrankhaz terrankhaz is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yourself View Post
Get your paperwork in for your PD.

Don't assume that you're going to be revoked. Don't assume that if you are revoked, you'll be revoked for the full bit.

Start taking positive, proactive measures to address your offending. I'm assuming you're doing a SO therapy program? Hope you're up to date on that, have a good relationship with your therapist. Might want to talk with your therapist about things you can do to deal with your current charge, including but not limited to understanding other places you can go for food, getting set up with food stamps, getting an address, and anything else you may need.

Make sure you're staying up to date on your other issues - not just your sex offense, but any issues you may have with alcohol or other problems.

I'm assuming you've already reached out to your PO to inform of the class c mis. Don't skip appointments, and meet your obligations.

You're worried about being 27 when you get out. You're worst casing it, and you're doing a bad job of it. Worst case, you're going to be younger than that assuming you get the full boat - you'll get good time credits, and you will be eligible for parole long before your 15 is up. 37 is pretty damned young. Sure, it's not 22, but it's still very young. You're still almost 30 years away from social security, you're still quite capable of having a family as many people wait until their 30's to have kids. You may even be under 30 when you get out, depending on how your state handles good time credits. What part of life is left at 37? You're not exactly limited at 37. It just seems that way because you're very young and you're pretty damned depressed about everything.
I was court ordered to do treatment but my PO doesnt want me to start until I have the money to do it to be paid in full. It's like a 5k class on top of the 20k I already owe. There is no Parole/Earl Release in Oregon. Just good time which is 20% off your sentence.

My cell phone is provided through the state of oregon. It's a trackmate pay as you go phone, and there's no way to block a number. Already tried.
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Old 06-22-2015, 11:43 AM
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Then you need to let the court know, or your lawyer if whatever actually happens is serious enough for you to qualify for appointed counsel, that the reason you aren't already enrolled in SO treatment is because your PO told you to wait until you can afford to pay for it. That should be a more acceptable reason than if it was just your decision.

Since you are homeless and broke, I'm surprised that Oregon won't pay, but I guess the real reason is less about treatment, and more about money.
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Old 06-22-2015, 07:20 PM
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My husband is experiencing the same feelings of hopelessness. He is currently at Comal County Jail and is meeting men that have had similar charges (tickets for failure to appear, speeding, open container from several years ago...and now unauthorized use of a vehicle and driving with a suspended license) He is worried that they will give him 10 years, which is what they gave the other man. We can not afford a lawyer and he has already been assigned a court appointed, but the lawyer has not contacted him except to send him a generic letter. He has told me that if they give him 10 years he is not going to do it....I can only assume he the worst. I tell him not to compare himself to the others...but am I being nave? Should I expect the worst also?
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Old 06-23-2015, 09:26 AM
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Hope for the best, but prepare yourself if that doesn't happen. I hope he receives a lenient sentence.
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Old 06-24-2015, 06:15 PM
terrankhaz terrankhaz is offline
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So I had court this morning. I'm being charged with a PV for not paying fines, not attending treatment, not paying super vision fee and the misdemeanor.

I signed a release agreement to show up next month to enter my plea.

They gave me a public defender but the first thing she said was "I have a lot of things on my case load so don't expect me to give much of a shit."

NOT COOL.

Am I wrong to feel like SO probation is set up to make you fail?

How was I supposed to pay my fines and fees and attend treatment when I just got out of jail, lost everything, am homeless and my Probation Officer says "You have a 3 month leeway, don't stress about them." ?

I can't believe I only lasted 1 month. This nightmare never ends.

I don't want to deal with this anymore. There's nothing worth going to prison for waiting for me at the end of this.
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Old 06-24-2015, 06:28 PM
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fire your PD. Seriously - if you don't trust your PD, can't communicate with her, and do not think that she's capable of helping you - fire her. You'll get a court appointed attorney, hopefully somebody who'll give more of a shit (though clear cut PVs are difficult at best in terms of defense).

You need to start communicating, ordering your priorities, and dealing with everything.

As for "nothing worth going to prison for waiting for me at the end of this" - quit looking externally for your motivation. It's not up to life to make yours worth living, or to provide you with the things you need to survive, or give you motivation. If you need help with that - go to a hospital and tell them you're thinking about suicide. They will help you with the whole, "purpose in life" thing, along with whatever's going on that's causing you to misconstrue what the requirements of your parole/probation are.

It's tough when you're down. Get the help you need. You're too young to think about giving up, and you're going to be far too young when you get out to give up, especially when you really haven't tried. Motivation and quality life come from inside. They are not found in cars and whatever. If you are incapable of making your life matter to you, then you really haven't tried.
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Old 06-24-2015, 06:33 PM
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For the record - it is very common for first offenders and offenders facing long terms in prison to get despondent and start thinking about suicide. If you wait it out, those feelings and thoughts will pass. If you can't wait it out, go to a hospital and get help. Kinda suck to kill yourself when you have a whole life to create.

Plenty of felons out there living a good life. Plenty of sex offenders out there, living a good life.
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Old 06-24-2015, 06:41 PM
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keyword seems to be out there.
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Old 06-24-2015, 07:50 PM
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Has anyone been in or seen this similiar situation and not been revoked?
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Old 06-24-2015, 08:13 PM
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Quote:
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keyword seems to be out there.
Aha! But first they had to be "in there" before they could be "out here."

My Mr served out on his sex charge, 5 years. There was no registry when he went in, but there was when he came out. That was 1994-1999.
He's a 10 year registrant, still on the registry due to reincarceration and prison time doesn't count....the clock stops on the registration period.

Howver, he's never had a problem finding employment when released, he's never had a problem when in. Keep a job, keep a low profile and keep your personal business to yourself. You'll be fine
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Old 06-24-2015, 09:15 PM
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Quote:
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Has anyone been in or seen this similiar situation and not been revoked?
It doesn't matter - those people who have or haven't been revoked aren't in your jurisdiction, before your judge. Comparing outcomes in as far as revocation goes is as silly as you get - might just want to read tea leaves instead.

Inside or outside - you create your own life, and it's as worthwhile as you make it. It's all internal.

Get to a hospital. they'll help you out. Since you're in OR, they might even be able to help you with insurance so you can start treatment. Start making your life worth living by figuring out what you need to do to have that internal sense of value.
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Old 06-25-2015, 07:58 AM
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Im still sort of shell shocked that the PO cant intervene with the ex gf. Or at least assist you in some way (like tell you what you should do)
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Old 06-25-2015, 09:17 AM
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So the only thing that can't be explained by the fact that you are indigent, aka no money, is the misdemeanor for stealing a $2.00 candy bar. You won't know what punishment, if any, you will be facing until the judge tells you. One possibility, go, get a job and catch up on your probation fees, would make all of your worries meaningless. Wait until you know the answer.

Fire the lawyer, or at least report her to her boss and ask for a different one. "Don't expect me to give a shit" is totally unacceptable. If they won't fix the problem, tell the judge what happened.
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Old 06-25-2015, 11:25 AM
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Quote:
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It doesn't matter - those people who have or haven't been revoked aren't in your jurisdiction, before your judge. Comparing outcomes in as far as revocation goes is as silly as you get - might just want to read tea leaves instead.

Inside or outside - you create your own life, and it's as worthwhile as you make it. It's all internal.

Get to a hospital. they'll help you out. Since you're in OR, they might even be able to help you with insurance so you can start treatment. Start making your life worth living by figuring out what you need to do to have that internal sense of value.
I have double insurance through the state because both my parents work for the State ( My dad's actually a sergeant at the local pen which means I'd have to goto a prison 20 hours away. ) and they have to provide insurance till 26 but my PO says I have to pay for the treatment out of pocket.

Is that true?? Maybe they're just giving me a hard time?
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Old 06-25-2015, 02:24 PM
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Many SO treatment programs are not covered by health insurance, but some are, depending on the actual policy. Call the insurance company with specific details about the program and ask if it is covered. If it is, then submit a claim. Also, get a copy of the plan book and decide for yourself. Health insurance phone information uses the IRS format; "we don't have to accept the information you were provided by our employee, so tough luck".
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Old 06-25-2015, 03:33 PM
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So you DO have family? Two working parents?




I've been homeless all my life. No family. I don't know anyone. I've never had friends. I finally got onto my feet about a year ago, got a job at a bank, bought my first car, bought a home.
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Old 06-26-2015, 01:47 PM
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Quote:
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So you DO have family? Two working parents?




I've been homeless all my life. No family. I don't know anyone. I've never had friends. I finally got onto my feet about a year ago, got a job at a bank, bought my first car, bought a home.

I haven't seen or talked to my family in 11 years.
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