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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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  #1  
Old 05-17-2019, 12:53 AM
Jared48 Jared48 is offline
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Default She's home and it hasn't been a good time at all-Its over

My girlfriend just got out of Coffee Creek Correctional on April 11th. She did 7 years there. We have dated for the last 2 1/2 years. She didn't want me to be there to see her when she got out. Her sister was there to met her. I had her sister pick up a cell phone and some money that I have sent her. She paroled to Washington State to go and leave with her father and step mother. A couple of days after she gets out, I called her and she got mad me for calling her because she said she was spending time with her family and hung up on me. So, I didn't call her that much. One day I was looking at her Facebook page and saw that she put that she was "married" to another inmate that she was serving time with. When I dug further, I find another Facebook page that the other inmate made. It was a couple page and the other inmate even gave my girlfriend her last name. And there was a picture on my girlfriend's Facebook page of both of them kissing. And when I called my girlfriend and asked her about it, she said that she wasn't married and said I was acting weird. So, I took a screenshot of it and sent it to her in a text. I look at her Facebook and saw that the post that there saying that she was married was deleted and it was deleted on the other inmate's Facebook as well. Then she calls me and tells me that her Facebook page was hacked and the the other inmate was "crazy." After this, I am blocked from her Facebook page and from Snapchat was well. So, I believe her and then everything was fine. I am sending her money to support her since she is still looking for a job and getting settled in. She is beginning to get angry with me because I call her and she says that she is spending quality time with her family and I am calling and texting her and she can't spend time with her family. One day at work, I had a co-worker check her FaceBook, and it states that was married once again and she and the other inmate has been "married" since 2017 even though my girlfriend and I have been together since 2016. So, I call her and tell her what's going on with this and I actually break up with her. She is calling my phone and I am not answering her calls. The other inmate who made the Facebook calls me and says that they aren't together and she has someone and she sends me a picture of her and her girlfriend or whatever. I ask her why is she doing this with my girlfriend and she says that she was drunk. So, I hang up and call my girlfriend and she tells me that they were together while her and I was fighting but she states that she didn't have sex or anything. And she states that the marriage wasn't real and I believe her. Everything was going well for awhile. Then she starts to get mad at me over little things. I talk to her sister for some advice and her sister tells her and she gets mad at me for talking to her sister. I had another person look at her Facebook, and it said that she was married to her friend and I get mad at her and call her up and say what's going on with. And the posts disappear and she gets mad at me for saying that I was spying on her. And she tells me that the other inmate is her friend even though she told me a couple of weeks ago that she was a crazy and was stalking her. I send her a large amount of money and I asked her to open up a checking account and to buy clothes. I call her 4 days later and she said that she only have $424 dollars left. So, I tell her that I will send her some money soon. I had a health scare doing this time as well and not one time was she concerned about my health. Well, I had some financial hardships happen and she got mad at me and she told me that I didn't live up to my word since I couldn't send her some money. Now, she isn't talking to me hardly because she thinks that I am lying to her since I broke my word because I couldn't send her some money. I was wondering if I am wasting my time or what should I do.
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Old 05-17-2019, 02:02 AM
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I'm sorry that you are experience this.
My very sincere and urgent advice: drop her now and stop sending money, block her calls and block her on Facebook, delete her completely.
That dating-history of yours I assume (really just a personal opinion) was for $$$ only.
Please save yourself and spend the money on yourself.
You are cruising for bruising
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Old 05-17-2019, 02:27 AM
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Let her go. What you had while she was in prison has revealed itself it sounds like. You became involved with someone that is not sincere and it happens. It's sad, but it happens. Quit while you're ahead. There's someone worthy of the love and devotion you seek to give out there. Go find her...she needs you. You got a lemon this go around....STAY AWAY FROM LEMON TREES.
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Old 05-17-2019, 02:59 AM
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It won't be easy, but my advice is the same, you are being deceived and used by this evil person so run away from her as fast as you can. Absolutely don't send her any more money, cellphones, etc., anything, ever again.

You were scammed by her, but don't be hard on yourself, con men (and con women) are very good at what they do
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Old 05-17-2019, 03:14 AM
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STOP SENDING HER YOUR DOLLARS!!!!
She's using you for your $$$$...she has way TOO much to hide and she back tracks way TOO often to make it seem like she isn't doing anything. Let her GO!!! Cut all ties with her completely. You don't need this drama and frustration in your life like this. She only sees you as a atm, she doesn't want a relationship with you.
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Old 05-17-2019, 03:35 AM
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So sorry you are dealing with this.
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Old 05-17-2019, 04:38 AM
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I agree with EVERY WORD Mizzy said. I read her advice a lot. She is usually always right.
I think She is completely using you for money. I am sorry this happened to you but take it from me this is a money arrangement for her. If she cared, you’d know it because you’d feel it.
My LO got out of prison after 14 years last December. We had not been together even a quarter of his sentence. He made sure he spoke to me & prioritised me even though his mom & dad picked him up from prison & drove him to a different state. He included me & made time always.
I hope you get the strength to block her & focus on yourself.
Xxxxx lots of love xxx
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Old 05-17-2019, 05:32 AM
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I agree with what the others have said. Im sorry to say it but you were used.
Please dont send her anything and block her from your phone, and everything else.
Walk away from it.
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Old 05-17-2019, 07:20 AM
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Default She's home and it hasn't been a good time at all

I am so sorry but this is a case of rip the band aid off and make a clean break.
This woman is using you and treating you very badly. She doesnít want to be with you I doubt she ever did.
Please stop giving her any money. Cut all contact and move on. There is someone who will be there for you who will respect you and appreciate you but itís not her and you deserve better.
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Old 05-17-2019, 10:06 AM
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Thank you for advice. I called her before posting this thread on her and she is mad at me because I called her sister and was talking to her about what to do. And her sister said the same thing as you guys have said but didn't say to break up with her. Her sister stated that she talks about me to her all the time and tells her that she loves me. But, my girlfriend is mad about me talking to her sister and she says that I shouldn't be talking to her sister about our relationship. When I want to talk about our relationship, she gets all mad at me for it and that I don't listen to what she has to say. A couple of weeks ago, I asked her what city her dad lived in so I can get her a ticket to come and see me and she didn't know. A couple of days later, I look at her friend's facebook page and there was a photo of them together in a hotel room. Of course I was mad and I called her about it. She said that she just showed up and nothing happened. And I got mad at her and told her that you get mad at me for calling her when she is spending time with her family but her friend can come and show up unexpectedly and you go and hang out with her and I told her that was messed up of her to do. When I go and look at the post with the photo, the comments that everyone is making about the photo is about them being a couple. Any thoughts or concerns.
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Old 05-17-2019, 11:26 AM
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I am sorry to be blunt, but YOU ARE BEING USED. It is time to move on. Cut ties, and STOP sending money.
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Old 05-17-2019, 03:39 PM
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Thank you for your advice. I totally agree with you on what you wrote.

When my girlfriend got out, she didn't even call me. I got a message from her on Facebook Messenger like 4 hours after she got out. I didn't even get a call from her until 12 hours after she got out. She didn't even prioritize me at all. She called her friends that she was in prison with before she even called me. I understand that she wanted to spend some time with her family and son when she got out but to call her friends before me. I took care of her for 2 1/2 years while she was inside. I would have thought that I would get a call before her friends. Wouldn't you agree? What gets me is that she gets mad at me because I call her and she says that I am blowing up her phone and she is spending time with her family, but if one of her friends calls her, she will drop everything to talk to them. And right now, she is mad at me because I promised to send her money a couple of weeks ago and she said that I am not keeping my word to her even though I have told her that I am having some money problems right now. She also says that I don't listen to her at all. And she is so pissed off at me because I talked to her sister about our relationship. Even her own sister says that she shouldn't be treating me like this and she has told her so.
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Old 05-17-2019, 03:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by keywii View Post
STOP SENDING HER YOUR DOLLARS!!!!
She's using you for your $$$$...she has way TOO much to hide and she back tracks way TOO often to make it seem like she isn't doing anything. Let her GO!!! Cut all ties with her completely. You don't need this drama and frustration in your life like this. She only sees you as a atm, she doesn't want a relationship with you.

And I do agree with you about her hiding way too much. And she has been backtracking as well. When I was talking to her about the whole "marriage" thing with her "friend", she did tell me about that. I do give her that. She told me that she didn't want me to break up with her if she told me. During my investigation into this, I found the ex-girlfriend of the "friend" that my girlfriend is "married" to and she was telling me the same thing that everyone is telling me in here. So, she called my girlfriend on three way and asked her about my girlfriend and her friend. My girlfriend told her that they were married and that the ex girlfriend should leave them alone. I called my girlfriend after the three way call. My girlfriend didn't know that I was listening to the call though. She gets mad at me because she says that I am blowing up her phone when she is spending time with her family. I told her that I was on the line when the woman called her and I heard you say that you were married to your "friend". And that is when she told me everything about the two of them. And she was telling me that they were just friends and all. But I asked her you told me that she was crazy and stalked you and you are talking to her and she came to your father's house and saw you. I don't understand her logic but it is what it is though.
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Old 05-17-2019, 03:54 PM
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This isnít a relationship please stop letting this woman abuse you.
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Old 05-17-2019, 04:11 PM
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Originally Posted by maytayah View Post
I am so sorry but this is a case of rip the band aid off and make a clean break.
This woman is using you and treating you very badly. She doesnít want to be with you I doubt she ever did.
Please stop giving her any money. Cut all contact and move on. There is someone who will be there for you who will respect you and appreciate you but itís not her and you deserve better.
Thank you for your advice.

I should have seen this sooner. The signs were there before she even got out. When we first started talking, she used to call me a lot and wanted to do video visits. Then last year, she stopped calling me as much and the video visits all but stopped. She told me that she was working. But if you go on Facebook and check out her friends that she was in prison with, they post the images of when they had video visits with her. But she couldn't do video visits with me but she could do them with her friends who recently paroled.

And yes I do deserve better.
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Old 05-17-2019, 04:14 PM
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This isnít a relationship please stop letting this woman abuse you.
And I totally agree with you about her abusing me. I will be calling her tonight and ending things with her. I have been thinking about doing it for awhile and I came here to get some advice on what to do. And everyone has been helpful with their opinions.
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Old 05-17-2019, 04:26 PM
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I have a question. After reading everything that I have written, do you think that she is telling the truth? I know that there a slim chance that she might be telling the truth. I know that she isn't telling the truth at all. But, what if she is actually telling me the truth? You know what I mean?
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Old 05-17-2019, 04:42 PM
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I'll be blunt with my opinion from everything I have read about your relationship, so don't read it if offends you.

If there is any truth to what she has told you, it was an oversight on her part. Like how the sometimes spouse from social media unexpectedly shows up at her hotel room, but they don't have sex, it's absolutely hilarious. Her sister is playing you too, all the family wants is your money.
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Old 05-17-2019, 05:18 PM
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I'll be blunt with my opinion from everything I have read about your relationship, so don't read it if offends you.

If there is any truth to what she has told you, it was an oversight on her part. Like how the sometimes spouse from social media unexpectedly shows up at her hotel room, but they don't have sex, it's absolutely hilarious. Her sister is playing you too, all the family wants is your money.
You didn't offend me at all with your opinion okay. I do have some questions about your statement:

1. What do you mean it was an oversight on her part?
2. How is her sister playing me?
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Old 05-17-2019, 06:12 PM
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And I do agree with you about her hiding way too much. And she has been backtracking as well. When I was talking to her about the whole "marriage" thing with her "friend", she did tell me about that. I do give her that. She told me that she didn't want me to break up with her if she told me. During my investigation into this, I found the ex-girlfriend of the "friend" that my girlfriend is "married" to and she was telling me the same thing that everyone is telling me in here. So, she called my girlfriend on three way and asked her about my girlfriend and her friend. My girlfriend told her that they were married and that the ex girlfriend should leave them alone. I called my girlfriend after the three way call. My girlfriend didn't know that I was listening to the call though. She gets mad at me because she says that I am blowing up her phone when she is spending time with her family. I told her that I was on the line when the woman called her and I heard you say that you were married to your "friend". And that is when she told me everything about the two of them. And she was telling me that they were just friends and all. But I asked her you told me that she was crazy and stalked you and you are talking to her and she came to your father's house and saw you. I don't understand her logic but it is what it is though.
Honestly, she doesn't have a TRUE logic! Point, blank and period this woman is a user/liar. She's already showing you all the full blown details that this is what she truly is...these are her TRUE/REAL COLORS!! Trust me when she says she's with family...she's not with her family! That's just a cover up to make you believe that's where she's at when you calling her. She's playing games with you and have been playing games with you. She'll tell you anything for you to keep the $$$ coming in to her!!! This woman really doesn't want you like that and all the truth is right in front of you. Staring you in your face and on you like your own shadow.

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I have a question. After reading everything that I have written, do you think that she is telling the truth? I know that there a slim chance that she might be telling the truth. I know that she isn't telling the truth at all. But, what if she is actually telling me the truth? You know what I mean?
If you have some DOUBT and QUESTIONING IT! She's not being TRUTHFUL with you. One thing you should never have is doubt on what someone is telling you or question it! If you got either 1 or the both. That means somewhere within you know she's lying and hiding things. I think she's lying and has been lying for the longest to you. The reason why you question it/have doubt is because you know deep within you that this woman is lying/hiding things from you. Also, somewhere within you hope that she's telling the truth! But you'll never get the full truth and before you get the truth you'll be hit with more lies and be seen as the bad guy. Because you question her and you want the truth from it about her actions. She got you out here looking like the bad guy, that looks controlling and questioning her every movement.

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You didn't offend me at all with your opinion okay. I do have some questions about your statement:

1. What do you mean it was an oversight on her part?
2. How is her sister playing me?
Her sister is playing you as well and the reason for this is...that you go to her to talk about her sister! She could say things to you about her (that's if she's doing that or not) and say it just to see what you going to say in return. Go back to her sister and tell her all you had said and nothing that she said about her. The sister could be twisting everything that your saying to her and what you need to do is stop talking to the sister...when the sister is the one going back telling her what your saying!!
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Old 05-17-2019, 07:10 PM
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I know you want to talk to her and hope if you end it on the by the phone call that she will come to her senses.

I wouldnt call at all. If she wanted you, she would make an effort. It wouldn't be solely about money. If you were sick, she would have cared.

In your heart you know this, but you're holding on to words and hopes.
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Old 05-17-2019, 07:30 PM
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Oh, buddy. She’s not your girlfriend. You’re a trick. I know that stings the ol’ ego, but you need to walk away from this one.
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Old 05-17-2019, 07:35 PM
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Oh, buddy. Sheís not your girlfriend. Youíre a trick. I know that stings the olí ego, but you need to walk away from this one.

It doesn't sting my ego at all. Like I have been telling everyone on here, I am not going to be sending her any more money and I am calling her tonight to end things. I have expected something like this was happening for awhile now.
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Old 05-17-2019, 07:40 PM
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Originally Posted by onedayatatime13 View Post
I know you want to talk to her and hope if you end it on the by the phone call that she will come to her senses.

I wouldnt call at all. If she wanted you, she would make an effort. It wouldn't be solely about money. If you were sick, she would have cared.

In your heart you know this, but you're holding on to words and hopes.

When I call her to end things tonight, I am not looking for her to come to her senses to be honest. I know that isn't going to happen at all. If she really loved me, she wouldn't be doing this to me at all. She would have been honest with me in the first place. I was holding onto words and hopes but those things are long gone by now.
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Old 05-17-2019, 07:47 PM
onedayatatime13 onedayatatime13 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jared48 View Post
When I call her to end things tonight, I am not looking for her to come to her senses to be honest. I know that isn't going to happen at all. If she really loved me, she wouldn't be doing this to me at all. She would have been honest with me in the first place. I was holding onto words and hopes but those things are long gone by now.
Just be prepared that you aren't going to get answers or closure. It may be easier to just block her number and let it all go. Im very sorry this happened to you.
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