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  #1  
Old 10-09-2019, 05:27 PM
onedayatatime13 onedayatatime13 is online now
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Default Long stretches without visiting

So we may encounter some new territory: winter and a 7-8 hour drive.

We were hoping it would hold off being really crappy until January, but they are getting winter storm warnings already.

The longest we have gone thankfully in the last 2 1/2 years is 5 weeks without seeing each other. Mentally and emotionally we are not prepared for it.

How do you keep your connection without seeing each other, holding hands, etc?
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Old 10-09-2019, 07:12 PM
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Originally Posted by onedayatatime13 View Post
So we may encounter some new territory: winter and a 7-8 hour drive.

We were hoping it would hold off being really crappy until January, but they are getting winter storm warnings already.

The longest we have gone thankfully in the last 2 1/2 years is 5 weeks without seeing each other. Mentally and emotionally we are not prepared for it.

How do you keep your connection without seeing each other, holding hands, etc?
PHONE SEX. And Write every single day. Lots of pictures between us both ways. I send anything. Everyday shit. Sexy ones. Family. Dogs. Sunsets. The sump pump lol, there was a problem with it. He can take pics and he mails me some every 2 weeks. I send a card every day as well I do my best to ensure he receives mail every single day as best I can. I made a puzzle out of a big photo of me in lingerie and sent it in pieces. Photo cards. Poems. Anything creative to keep it fresh. I won’t see mine for another year so 5 weeks or even the winter would be a breeze. You’ll be okay!
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Old 10-09-2019, 07:31 PM
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PHONE SEX. And Write every single day. Lots of pictures between us both ways. I send anything. Everyday shit. Sexy ones. Family. Dogs. Sunsets. The sump pump lol, there was a problem with it. He can take pics and he mails me some every 2 weeks. I send a card every day as well I do my best to ensure he receives mail every single day as best I can. I made a puzzle out of a big photo of me in lingerie and sent it in pieces. Photo cards. Poems. Anything creative to keep it fresh. I won’t see mine for another year so 5 weeks or even the winter would be a breeze. You’ll be okay!
Thank you! Not trying to sound whiny at all. I told him tonight we will have to get creative. Je ja bring doen before it has even happened.

Told him. They have tablets and we can try to watch the same movies, up the letter, we may have emails soon, so I just want ideas to keep us healthy and enjoy the time the best we can.
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Old 10-09-2019, 07:54 PM
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As you know, we are in „ a bit ” of a similar situation. Too concerned with lowered immunity to risk the trek to the prison [ no energy either ] & winter is a right pain.

The next time I’ll see him is at a PFV.

I second jessesgirl1111 ‘s suggestions. A lot of letter writing, especially on topics that keep him „ in the know ” at home. I find that helps w connection and removes some of the typical feelings of detachment. Phone calls help if he has access to them and try to use the time to talk about positive / lovey things.

It sounds odd, but we are on an essay project together. We picked a topic and write. . . so we are connected in that. Also, we attempt to read the same books, but that does not always work out well.

If not a writer or short on time, I find that quick love notes on „ approved ” cards / post cards do the trick.

I send lots of photos too. Mostly of mundane things like leaves changing color, sunsets or whatever else is interesting during the day, with hopes n ‘ dreams he’ll share those moments with me soon. Express those thoughts to him too.

If I see good relationship articles [ mostly church - related ones recently ], I send those, as some „ food for thought” about love n’ marriage, et cetera. Nothing serious or finger - pointing, but related to maintaining love & connection.

And finally, yes, some love letters & pictures. . .
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Old 10-09-2019, 09:27 PM
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The other posts have basically hit all I can think of.
We are going on a year of no visits.
Tons of pictures, letters, phone calls. Phone calls are running my bank out but when that’s all you have it’s worth it.
I’ve traced my hand print. Sent my daughters hand print. Made personalized word search’s one was “life of Rico” it was key words about our life together. In that one I accidentally forgot my name and he made a big deal so then I made one “who do you love?” And put my name a bunch of times and shaped it like a heart.
I buy cards all the time. There’s a shop near me that has the best sayings on them.
He likes me to send him jokes and riddles and things like that.
Articles.

I think it’s pretty impossible to not remain connected when you love them though so you shouldn’t worry to much. It will suck but you’ll get through it. Just think of some of the positives
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Old 10-09-2019, 09:38 PM
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I LOVE THE IDEA OF MAKING A PHOTO INTO A PUZZLE! I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooo gonna do this.
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Old 10-09-2019, 10:32 PM
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We aren't allowed phone sex, erotic letters, or racy pictures.

We just talk as we are. Our relationship is built on other things than sex- in fact, I'm an asexual individual.

I get to see him one weekend a year if I'm lucky. We have two states in between our own. We get about an hour on the phone per week. The key is to never doubt. Never doubt he's waiting. Never doubt that he still loves you. Get to know him so deeply that you know his response to anything that you might think or feel.
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Old 10-09-2019, 10:36 PM
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We aren't allowed phone sex, erotic letters, or racy pictures.

We just talk as we are. Our relationship is built on other things than sex- in fact, I'm an asexual individual.

I get to see him one weekend a year if I'm lucky. We have two states in between our own. We get about an hour on the phone per week. The key is to never doubt. Never doubt he's waiting. Never doubt that he still loves you. Get to know him so deeply that you know his response to anything that you might think or feel.
Wow.. An hour a week on the phone and one weekend visit?! No idea how you guys do it.
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Old 10-09-2019, 11:45 PM
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I haven't seen him in almost 1,5 years... it's the flipping Atlantic that's in way
It's just hard to afford monthly or six-monthly flights and visits, a weekend alone would cost me approx. $1.000 (flight if I get a good deal, rental car, hotel) so we talk on the phone a lot or as often as he can call (he works and we have the time-difference to deal with). I'm going to see him on Nov. 2 finally again and I can't wait.
Let's see if my visits get more frequent once I'll be moving to the US.
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Old 10-10-2019, 04:40 AM
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I haven't seen him in almost 1,5 years... it's the flipping Atlantic that's in way
It's just hard to afford monthly or six-monthly flights and visits, a weekend alone would cost me approx. $1.000 (flight if I get a good deal, rental car, hotel)
This reminds me of visiting my brother. There are usually 3 or 4 connecting flights between point A and Point B; Standard is 21 + hours of travel. The median is 23.

And then, I have to rent a local driver to take me out to the penal colony [ ~ 2 hrs drive outside main city ] and arrangements to get back. They tell foreign people not to drive there ; especially in the taiga.

Every letter he says : I hope that you visit soon! or signs „ See you soon !”

And I only blink into space at the thought. Is he serious?

I often think how my husband wants to pursue some thing similar by way of transfer and I conclude he is only running away from me! I’m that awful.
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Old 10-10-2019, 06:16 AM
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Originally Posted by Revenwyn View Post
We aren't allowed phone sex, erotic letters, or racy pictures.

We just talk as we are. Our relationship is built on other things than sex- in fact, I'm an asexual individual.

I get to see him one weekend a year if I'm lucky. We have two states in between our own. We get about an hour on the phone per week. The key is to never doubt. Never doubt he's waiting. Never doubt that he still loves you. Get to know him so deeply that you know his response to anything that you might think or feel.

I don't doubt him at all. Could he shut down a little from.little from distance and such? Yes.

I know him very well and vice versa. We have been doing this a good amount of time now, but long stretches without seeing one another will be a first. I want to keep things connected and fresh.


We talk 3-4 time a day, which definitely helps in this case.
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Old 10-10-2019, 06:22 AM
onedayatatime13 onedayatatime13 is online now
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As you know, we are in „ a bit ” of a similar situation. Too concerned with lowered immunity to risk the trek to the prison [ no energy either ] & winter is a right pain.

The next time I’ll see him is at a PFV.

I second jessesgirl1111 ‘s suggestions. A lot of letter writing, especially on topics that keep him „ in the know ” at home. I find that helps w connection and removes some of the typical feelings of detachment. Phone calls help if he has access to them and try to use the time to talk about positive / lovey things.

It sounds odd, but we are on an essay project together. We picked a topic and write. . . so we are connected in that. Also, we attempt to read the same books, but that does not always work out well.

If not a writer or short on time, I find that quick love notes on „ approved ” cards / post cards do the trick.

I send lots of photos too. Mostly of mundane things like leaves changing color, sunsets or whatever else is interesting during the day, with hopes n ‘ dreams he’ll share those moments with me soon. Express those thoughts to him too.

If I see good relationship articles [ mostly church - related ones recently ], I send those, as some „ food for thought” about love n’ marriage, et cetera. Nothing serious or finger - pointing, but related to maintaining love & connection.

And finally, yes, some love letters & pictures. . .
I sent him a book on marriage, but the print is too small he needs to put in for reading glasses. I got myself a copy at well.

I downloaded a few books on his tablet and like because he can make the font larger. They are all the $1 books, all the classics with expired copyright.

When he first went in, he was slammed with mail. The last year not as much because there isn't enough time in the day sometimes. But I told him we both have to up our mail game. I'll buy more blank cards to keep in the house. Amazon has a good deal on them.

Hope you're starting to feel better! I got the all clear. Jo doctors for me 3 months!. My son is starting his round now.
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Old 10-10-2019, 06:37 AM
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I LOVE THE IDEA OF MAKING A PHOTO INTO A PUZZLE! I'm soooooooooooooooooooooooo gonna do this.
It’s so easy too. Google puzzle filter, and I don’t cut the pieces THAT small, I do a few so it’s at least almost like a 4x6 pic. I order 11x14 pics w the filter on it and cut them. I close the envelopes with lots of tape too so he can peel off layers of it to use to put the puzzle together. They only remove the stamp there now the tape for some reason.
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Old 10-10-2019, 07:47 PM
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So this is the longest I've been without seeing my love. We write about what's going on, erotic things, God, or whatever crosses our minds. I send pictures of our adventures. We talk when we can... honestly I feel as if we've become closer on a level beyond what's physically present.
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Old 10-10-2019, 08:06 PM
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He said today he doesnt want sexy pics. I never sent them before at I was never comfortable doing so. He doesnt trust the guards where he is and if he doesn't get them. He is worried what they would do with them.

I would lose my mind if they disappeared and he knows this too.
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Old 10-10-2019, 08:31 PM
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It’s so easy too. Google puzzle filter, and I don’t cut the pieces THAT small, I do a few so it’s at least almost like a 4x6 pic. I order 11x14 pics w the filter on it and cut them. I close the envelopes with lots of tape too so he can peel off layers of it to use to put the puzzle together. They only remove the stamp there now the tape for some reason.
I'd call the prison before you do this to see if it's acceptable. I did something similar several years ago and he got called into the inspector general's office because they said I was sending in coded messages. He was under investigation for over a month with no visits calls or letters! They were trying to say he was involved in gang activity.
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Old 10-10-2019, 09:43 PM
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I'd call the prison before you do this to see if it's acceptable. I did something similar several years ago and he got called into the inspector general's office because they said I was sending in coded messages. He was under investigation for over a month with no visits calls or letters! They were trying to say he was involved in gang activity.
Smart. I'll have to ask him on Sat when he calls if this would be okay.
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Old 10-11-2019, 03:10 PM
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I'd call the prison before you do this to see if it's acceptable. I did something similar several years ago and he got called into the inspector general's office because they said I was sending in coded messages. He was under investigation for over a month with no visits calls or letters! They were trying to say he was involved in gang activity.
I do. I include a letter to the mail room with a picture of the puzzle all put together so they don’t think it’s inappropriate nudity.
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Old 10-12-2019, 09:45 PM
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So we may encounter some new territory: winter and a 7-8 hour drive.

We were hoping it would hold off being really crappy until January, but they are getting winter storm warnings already.

The longest we have gone thankfully in the last 2 1/2 years is 5 weeks without seeing each other. Mentally and emotionally we are not prepared for it.

How do you keep your connection without seeing each other, holding hands, etc?
I JUST got to hold hands with my girl after a whole year. We had calls and visits but nothing contact. It was harder than hard. Lots of tough rough days. Can’t say there was anything that made it less painful. I can say that our letters and calls are very creative and we hang on each other’s word and anything we exchange is the most important thing.
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Old 10-12-2019, 10:03 PM
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I JUST got to hold hands with my girl after a whole year. We had calls and visits but nothing contact. It was harder than hard. Lots of tough rough days. Can’t say there was anything that made it less painful. I can say that our letters and calls are very creative and we hang on each other’s word and anything we exchange is the most important thing.
I saw your other post. What a wonderful mistake!

We are going to have to buckle down and deal.with it. Is neither of our doing but mother nature's.

I'm glad you had a great visit today.
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Old 10-12-2019, 10:55 PM
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I saw your other post. What a wonderful mistake!

We are going to have to buckle down and deal.with it. Is neither of our doing but mother nature's.

I'm glad you had a great visit today.
We made it this far. We see that “mistake” something of a confirmation for us. Don’t know what the future holds other than our love is locked in and nothing gonna break it. That’s my girl there and I’m holding on to her no matter what. She knows it.
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