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Old 01-14-2018, 04:23 AM
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Angry Don't Want My Ex to Parole to My Home

Can't find a thread on Parole so I figured I would put it here. Husband and I are divorced. I don't have contact with him. I get a phone call from State Parole here in SLO county informing me his release date will be soon, thanks to Prop 57/ non violent offender. Parole tells me since he committed out of SLO county, he comes back to SLO county and has to be with family. I said we are divorced, I have moved on with my life, and don't want to go through the visits from you people, or have my house checked and search. I said put him in a half way house. Parole officer says they are full. Great. Parole Officer says the two of you have children correct? I said yes, but I have soul custody. He can not be with a friend, nor can he come out a transient. What a freaking mess. He is also a flight risk due to jumping parole many years ago, so he will have a tracker on him. He asked me for a date for house check. I said NO, I am not getting involved with this shit. He said I am sorry but even though you have biological children with him they are his family. WTF? So I contacted my attorney to see if we can get this blocked. Seems CA makes things harder and harder for family that have spilt up then one can imagine. What's your take on this? Thank you.

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Old 01-14-2018, 04:28 AM
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Originally Posted by Benjaminsbaby View Post
Can't find a thread on Parole so I figured I would put it here. Husband and I are divorced. I don't have contact with him. I get a phone call from State Parole here in SLO county informing me his release date will be soon, thanks to Prop 57/ non violent offender. Parole tells me since he committed out of SLO county, he comes back to SLO county and has to be with family. I said we are divorced, I have moved on with my life, and don't want to go through the visits from you people, or have my house checked and search. I said put him in a half way house. Parole officer says they are full. Great. Parole Officer says the two of you have children correct? I said yes, but I have soul custody. He can not be with a friend, nor can he come out a transient. What a freaking mess. He is also a flight risk due to jumping parole many years ago, so he will have a tracker on him. He asked me for a date for house check. I said NO, I am not getting involved with this shit. He said I am sorry but even though you have biological children with him they are his family. WTF? So I contacted my attorney to see if we can get this blocked. Seems CA makes things harder and harder for family that have spilt up then one can imagine. What's your take on this? Thank you.
Tried to edit as I left one thing out. I don't want to deal with his stealing the Sheriff, Parole or his drug addiction problems. Parole said under CA law now a employer can not ask for a criminal background. I have gotten my two children's lives back on track and don't want their lives turned upside down all over again....
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Old 01-14-2018, 05:59 AM
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That's one I never heard before. I can't imagine that CA parole can force you to have anyone live in your home, and I expect that your lawyer will set them straight. Lots of folks are homeless on parole. If our freedoms have eroded to the point of the government telling you who you have to allow to live in your house, maybe a restraining order is in order?
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Old 01-14-2018, 06:39 AM
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Just an aside, from a different situation, different era, but on point anyway.

Years and years ago, one of my aunts and uncles divorced. He was an alcoholic, Viet Nam vet, dying of cirrhosis, and the Marines wanted to discharge him from hospital. They virtually forced her to take care of him as he died.

So, it's nothing new and nothing special to prisons.

And I'm really sorry you're being put into this situation......maybe appealing to the PO's superior or showing them some of those nasty letters would help.
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Old 01-14-2018, 06:51 AM
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Hey Benjamins I moved your post to the CA parole/probation forum.

No you do not need to have him move to your home.
They cannot force you to take him in either.
He may end up getting visitation with your kids but they cannot MAKE you take him.

I'd flat out tell them NO. you are not bringing me into this. And his kids might be his family (even tho he's a shit head dad from reading your other posts) YOU are not and you are the kids primary care giver....with sole custody.
He's YOUR problem, not mine.
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Old 01-14-2018, 06:52 AM
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OH and YES he can be transient. My hub had to do that for quite a while. He was also on gps, so yeah.
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Old 01-14-2018, 07:23 AM
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Default Don't Forget- Knowledge is power

HI Benjaminsbaby--Glad to hear the good updates for you and your children. I believe it has been a strugle for you. Congratulations on your forward moving.

However, perhaps this link about "What happens when an offender is released" may be informative. I took it from the CDCR website... I hope it isn't repeat information for you. But nonetheless.... here is more updated information about the changes since Prop 57

But since he has stolen from you, would you qualify for Victim services? I don't want to abuse the service or course but it is something you could talk about with your attorney.
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Old 01-14-2018, 07:34 AM
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Even without a divorce having been finalized, I cannot conceive of ANY situation, even in wackyland, where the State can COMPEL a female to accept a felon into the residence.

Up the ante...I GUARANTEE that the local media would take this story and run with it. Get your local Representative involved as well.
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Old 01-14-2018, 08:47 AM
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Its extraordinary that they would try and force you to have this man in your home.
He is not your responsibility, you don't have to care for him he is not a child. I would take legal advice.
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Old 01-14-2018, 08:47 AM
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This pure B.S. Now if you want to shoot them down just file a restraining order against him. Then they can figure what they need to do. All that you need to state in your restraining order is that you fear for you and your children's safety Talk to legal aid or any of the number of domestic violence groups they will help you .
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Old 01-14-2018, 08:59 AM
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What happened to notifying parole that he’s not allowed to know where you are?

http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/sho...1&postcount=36

Are you sure you didn’t misunderstand what they said? No one can force someone to live with you and the fact that you are divorced and have had so much discord in your relationship it is even more unlikely. It’s really hard to believe they said he HAD to parole to you. I can believe they may have tried hard to get you to agree to take him but force you? I doubt it.
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Old 01-14-2018, 10:15 AM
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OH and YES he can be transient. My hub had to do that for quite a while. He was also on gps, so yeah.
Due to his behavior in the past, he was a transient. But according to SLO State Parole they said he can not be one any longer. I don't give two shits if its cold in the winter or hotter then hell in the summer. Even with a tracker on, he could run again an again. Find by me as long as he doesn't run to my home.
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Old 01-14-2018, 10:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Benjaminsbaby View Post
Due to his behavior in the past, he was a transient. But according to SLO State Parole they said he can not be one any longer. I don't give two shits if its cold in the winter or hotter then hell in the summer. Even with a tracker on, he could run again an again. Find by me as long as he doesn't run to my home.
Is he still on the title to your home? I know you divorced but is everything in your name only?
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Old 01-14-2018, 12:28 PM
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I'm pretty sure they can't place him if you refuse the house check.

If every jurisdiction I've heard of, if they aren't able to get the house check done in time, they won't let him parole to that address.

People are stuck in prison past their PEDs all the time because they haven't been able to find housing suitable to parole.

As was mentioned up-thread, they could always just let him parole out homeless and he could live in a shelter or in a car. They can track him by GPS regardless.
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Old 01-14-2018, 12:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Benjaminsbaby View Post
Can't find a thread on Parole so I figured I would put it here. Husband and I are divorced. I don't have contact with him. I get a phone call from State Parole here in SLO county informing me his release date will be soon, thanks to Prop 57/ non violent offender. Parole tells me since he committed out of SLO county, he comes back to SLO county and has to be with family. I said we are divorced, I have moved on with my life, and don't want to go through the visits from you people, or have my house checked and search. I said put him in a half way house. Parole officer says they are full. Great. Parole Officer says the two of you have children correct? I said yes, but I have soul custody. He can not be with a friend, nor can he come out a transient. What a freaking mess. He is also a flight risk due to jumping parole many years ago, so he will have a tracker on him. He asked me for a date for house check. I said NO, I am not getting involved with this shit. He said I am sorry but even though you have biological children with him they are his family. WTF? So I contacted my attorney to see if we can get this blocked. Seems CA makes things harder and harder for family that have spilt up then one can imagine. What's your take on this? Thank you.
Invite the PO over for a home visit and when he gets there have a 12-pack of beer, a couple bottles of wine, and a handgun sitting on the coffee table LOL. Just kidding! I would be damned if anybody force me to have anyone live in my home! Reiterate that he is your ex for a reason and therefore is no longer your problem.
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Old 01-14-2018, 12:41 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AndyS View Post
What happened to notifying parole that he’s not allowed to know where you are?

http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/sho...1&postcount=36

Are you sure you didn’t misunderstand what they said? No one can force someone to live with you and the fact that you are divorced and have had so much discord in your relationship it is even more unlikely. It’s really hard to believe they said he HAD to parole to you. I can believe they may have tried hard to get you to agree to take him but force you? I doubt it.
My guess is he listed her info as his post release plan and they're following up and verifying that plan. I'm sure they would press a person to accept a parolee because finding placement for them is more work and releasing them as transient isn't ideal. But no, they cannot force you to accept a parolee into your home. As for still knowing where she is, if I recall he's still sending mail as of Christmas, so...guessing that's not on the table.
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Old 01-14-2018, 12:44 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nancyginnm View Post
Oh over for a home visit and when he gets there have a 12-pack of beer, a couple bottles of wine, and a handgun sitting on the coffee table LOL. Just kidding! I would be damned if anybody force me to have anyone live in my home!
Ditto. Minus the handgun....she has children in the home, but otherwise: if parole insists on a Home Placement Inspection, have plenty of alcohol on hand even if its empty beer cans & wine bottles.

I'm with the others on this, they cannot force you to allow him to parole there to live with you & the kids. Tomorrow is a Holiday, so Tuesday morning go get that restraining order.
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Old 01-14-2018, 02:08 PM
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We are not getting the full story that's for sure. No one has to take anyone in who is on parole anywhere. I'm willing to bet he's still listed as owner along with her.
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Old 01-14-2018, 02:21 PM
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I was wondering the same thing does he have any claim to the house ie joint owner or tenant. Is his name on the mortgage or tenancy agreement?
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Old 01-14-2018, 02:35 PM
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It isn't my story to tell, but I know the house they were living in as a married couple was destroyed by fire not too long after Ben went to prison - he has never lived where the family is living now.
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Old 01-14-2018, 02:46 PM
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It isn't my story to tell, but I know the house they were living in as a married couple was destroyed by fire not too long after Ben went to prison - he has never lived where the family is living now.
Well if she bought a house with insurance money from a jointly owned home then maybe he is entitled to live there. I don't know how something like this would work. I'm just speculating but I'm sure there is more to it then him putting this down as his out plan.
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Old 01-14-2018, 03:46 PM
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I see absolutely no reason legally why they could compel you to house someone you are divorced from. The fact the children are his biologically doesn’t change that. You’re divorced. He doesn’t have custody rights to the children. It’s his problem and parole’s problem. Frankly I would contact your local police department or sheriffs station, explain the situation and ask them what to do if this is forced on you. I don’t see how they can force him to your residence. I can see him winning some sort of visitation rights but he needs to provide a home or setting for that.

Good luck. I hope this will be resolved in your favor.

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Old 01-15-2018, 06:09 AM
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If the San Luis Obispo police won't allow him to be paroled as homeless, then he may have to stay locked up until he finds other living arrangements. I wouldn't allow the PO into my house, and you definitely can refuse them entry if they do show up at your door.

Since he stole from you previously, get a restraining order. That way it will be a California judge telling California parole that he can not live with you.
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Old 01-16-2018, 07:34 AM
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I believe this is solono county in nor cal.
Regardless, they cant force him to parole to your home.
Its paroles problem.

Would his dad or mom be willing to let him move home? (doubtful from what I remember about their relationship)

Having him parole as homeless is alot more work for the parole dept.
He'd have to check in much more often. Plus have someplace to charge his gps if he is in fact required to have one.
Dont back down.
its NOT your responsibility, and dont let them try to tell you it is.
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