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  #1  
Old 01-05-2017, 06:36 PM
chrisinnc chrisinnc is offline
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I hope I'm doing this right. Actually I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I'm numb and lost and praying to God every other minute to help me get through this, to help my son get through this. He's in custody, in Georgia, was in the process of fleeing his home state after going on a crime spree. I don't even know what all the charges are that await him. I have a sick feeling that it's going to be bad, when he was 16 he was charged with a felony for theft. He violated probation and did some time about six years ago. Not a lot, we got through it. He swore those days were over and it seemed like they were. He lost his job six months ago and after that, well, he went down a dark path and got too far gone where I couldn't help him, nor did he seem to want my help. He suffers from depression and is a textbook example of bipolar. He knows this. We had a huge fight a couple of months ago, afterwards he came to me crying and said Mom there's something wrong with me. Heartbreaking. But as he is a 25 year old man and not a 15 year old boy I had no control over forcing him to get help. Then he goes on this crime spree. Guns involved...and, he's a felon. This is serious now and he's facing doing serious time. How do you reconcile the years that you know will be ripped from you? I'm sad, I'm so damn depressed, just utterly heartbroken. It's hard to keep one foot in the real world when the other is where he is. He's not a scumbag kid, he's a sweet and funny and kind kid who got lost along the way. I just found a pair of his socks under the couch and started sobbing. I don't know how to do this.
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Old 01-05-2017, 07:17 PM
fbopnomore fbopnomore is offline
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Welcome to Prison Talk. I'm sorry for what you are facing and are forced to deal with. Having a child in trouble is much worse than if it was the parent instead.

The beginning, when nothing is decided yet, and it is subject to constant change anyway, is the hardest time for everyone. Stay strong and take care of yourself because your son will need your love and support now more than ever.

He will have lawyer(s) at every stop along the way to the final resolution of the case(s). You and your son will know more of what to expect as this nightmare proceeds through the courts.
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Old 01-05-2017, 08:16 PM
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I'm so very sorry you are having to go thru this. All of us remember the feelings of helplessness, fear, anxiety and a host of other emotions when we started this journey.

I'm glad you found us - you will find a lot of supportive parents here...
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Old 01-06-2017, 12:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chrisinnc View Post
I hope I'm doing this right. Actually I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I'm numb and lost and praying to God every other minute to help me get through this, to help my son get through this. He's in custody, in Georgia, was in the process of fleeing his home state after going on a crime spree. I don't even know what all the charges are that await him. I have a sick feeling that it's going to be bad, when he was 16 he was charged with a felony for theft. He violated probation and did some time about six years ago. Not a lot, we got through it. He swore those days were over and it seemed like they were. He lost his job six months ago and after that, well, he went down a dark path and got too far gone where I couldn't help him, nor did he seem to want my help. He suffers from depression and is a textbook example of bipolar. He knows this. We had a huge fight a couple of months ago, afterwards he came to me crying and said Mom there's something wrong with me. Heartbreaking. But as he is a 25 year old man and not a 15 year old boy I had no control over forcing him to get help. Then he goes on this crime spree. Guns involved...and, he's a felon. This is serious now and he's facing doing serious time. How do you reconcile the years that you know will be ripped from you? I'm sad, I'm so damn depressed, just utterly heartbroken. It's hard to keep one foot in the real world when the other is where he is. He's not a scumbag kid, he's a sweet and funny and kind kid who got lost along the way. I just found a pair of his socks under the couch and started sobbing. I don't know how to do this.

I so know how you're feeling. I too have a sweet, funny & kind son who has landed himself with a felony. It breaks your heart to know that they could be so much more. My son is serving 2 years for a probation violation in Georgia. We live 8 hours away & went for our 1st visit on Christmas Eve. Just to see him & give him a hug was worth the drive. He says he knows that he needs therapy after all this. It's just sad that they don't realize it & admit it before they have to face really serious consequences.

Try not to let it consume you. Spend your time focusing on what you can do to get you both through this time. Even though what he did was serious, once he gets sentenced you can begin to work to deal with it. If there are any support groups in your area, join them. Find people to lift you up when you need it (and you will need it). This forum is a wonderful place to share your highs & lows. So many people have been in your position. We all love our kids but what they've done is hard to bear sometimes.

Hang in there & also check out the Ga forum. Not many post there regularly but you mind find info you can use. Good luck & be strong!
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Old 01-07-2017, 02:41 PM
chrisinnc chrisinnc is offline
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Thank you for your kindness, for reaching out, it means a lot, so much. There is comfort to be among those who truly understand and share the same pain. I am taking deep breaths, fighting hard to keep myself from sliding into that darkness. I tell myself there is nothing but despair there and to start climbing. I also have deep faith in God and so right now I'm trying not to lean too hard on my own understanding.

This journey is just starting and I know there are more painful moments to come, but there has got to be something good to come from this. Thank you again, all, who reach out to others with comforting words and understanding. It helps in the midst of all this misery.

Chris
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Old 01-07-2017, 02:51 PM
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You need to get and support for yourself so you can stay strong for your son. He will need you and you need to be mentally and physically well. Its going to be hard but you can get through this together.There are many other parents on here in similar situations you are not alone.
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Old 01-09-2017, 08:44 PM
zemblanity2 zemblanity2 is offline
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It's good that you reached out....You gave me courage as well....I just joined today, and I'm feeling pretty much the same as you, my head was spinning and I didn't know what to do or what support was out there, then I found this Forum, and I saw what you wrote, and that gave me strength ...You are in my prayers....
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Old 01-14-2017, 02:34 PM
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I joined 2 years ago, and finally, his case went to trial, he was found guilty. My mind is spinning too, but I am getting to a point of knowing this is real, it is not disappearing, and I can accept it or reject it, but it is better I be helpful and take care of myself.

But seeing items that he used, his art supplies, etc...very difficult for me.. Then there is his children, heartbreaking.

I can only say I know what state you are in, and right now, I am just doing things for what remains, what will help my son to endure this. I haven't any other ideas, but I feel for you very much since I am there, too. Peace, Luna
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  #9  
Old 02-13-2017, 04:03 PM
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Chris,

As Maytayah said, there are many of us in the same place. I thought my son was dead in the desert from an overdose when I learned he had been arrested for holding up a pharmacy. He was 22 years old and on probation from a charge in another state, facing 25 years. Not knowing what will happen is so difficult. A plea resulted in my son getting 8 years. His plea agreement from the other state was of course ruined so now he will spend his life with 2 felonies. As a teenager he got into trouble and his options were a detention center or a treatment center. He was diagnosed bioplar, ADD, and oppositional defiant disorder. He used drugs rather than take his medication. At age 22 he begged me for help one day yet the next he would break into my safe box and steal my medication. He was a loving, caring, funny, intelligent young man, but hooked on opiates.

I despaired of him ever getting his life together, Initially, in prison, things got worse but then he met the right people, cleaned up, stayed straight and has been a model prisoner. Clean for 3 years. Yes, I worry, but all I can do is love him, hope for the best and that he remain clean when he is released, be supportive, send him letters, visit him, be there for him when he gets out, and continue to move forward, one foot in front of the other.

Breathe. Pray.Cry. and breathe again. It's what we all do. Take care of yourself so you can be there for him. Come in and post your hopes, your fears, your questions, and the people in this forum will be here for you, like they have been for me, caring and helping.
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Old 02-13-2017, 04:08 PM
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So sorry to hear this reading this brought tears to my eyes not that I can imagine what your feeling but just thing at one time my mom felt the same way as I was that kid who lost her way.
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