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View Poll Results: should the prisons be allowed to serve the inmates slop
yes 10 4.20%
no 228 95.80%
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  #51  
Old 06-07-2002, 11:11 PM
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I took my husband some homemade biscuits one Christmas, not because I can bake good biscuits but because he asked me to try. They turned out ... different. I told him to toss them in the trash if they weren't good. He always shared his Christmas food with men who didn't get any, and one elderly man with no teeth chose to eat nothing from the table but my biscuits. None of the other men cared for them. (Tells you how bad they were when starving convicts pass them up! Dog wouldn't eat them either!) Anyway...

My husband kept offering the man other foods from his stash, but the man only wanted biscuits. My husband asked him if he thought the biscuits were good. He said, "Every morning when I was a little boy, my mama baked biscuits for breakfast. When I came to prison, she still baked biscuits for me every Christmas. My mama died a few years ago, and I ain't had any homemade biscuits since then. Your wife's biscuits taste just like my mama's - God rest her soul, that woman never could bake a decent biscuit! They taste awful, but they remind me of my mama."

That's the sweetest insult I've ever had.
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  #52  
Old 06-09-2002, 12:58 PM
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My hubby makes the noodle stuff all the time. He RARELY eats what they serve at chow. He says it's pretty good considering the alternative.
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  #53  
Old 06-09-2002, 08:19 PM
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awwwwww bookgirl, that was the sweetest thing he could have said. Did you bake him anymore?
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  #54  
Old 06-10-2002, 05:59 AM
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that is so sweet indeed!
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  #55  
Old 06-10-2002, 07:52 AM
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what? I never heard of it.... maybe it has something to do with the glue that is on the stems? that, when you smoke it, it gives a certain result? like the people who sniff glue....sounds crazy though
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  #56  
Old 06-10-2002, 11:38 AM
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on the "wine" making issue... I will share what I know... this was one area where I got a lot of "training" because when I worked inside the walls, I was running a drug/alcohol program... so pretty much every guy in the housing unit was an alcoholic... Here in IL, they call it "hooch"... and they use a similar method to what KConnor described... except they would use fruit and whatever little cartons of fruit juice they could sneak back from dietary (they could never get their hands on actual sugar... so the little juices is where they got the sweetness.... They also used bread.... But the stuff takes a LONG time to actually ferment and STINKS like you can NOT even imagine!! I got to encounter an actual batch only once in my time there.... but I swear ANYONE who would actually CONSUME the stuff would have to be a hardcore alcoholic.... because it is NOT a tasty little cocktail with a little paper umbrella.... it is some nasty stuff!! The guys always had to go to great effort to hide it here... they can't have waterbags like KConnor described... so they would hide it in their laundry bag, or try to hide it in some common area so if it was found they wouldn't get busted... Generally, they got busted before they got to consume their concoctions... the stank kind of gives it away!!
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  #57  
Old 06-11-2002, 04:11 AM
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JDswifey,


LOL, your right I almost forgot about that smell. We had to burp the bag to keep it from exploding, & the smell would just permeate everything. Its one of those horrible smells that once you smell it, you'll remember it forever. Nothing else smells like it. I hated the stuff cause guys would get drunk, & start fights, & become very volitile.----Ken
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  #58  
Old 06-11-2002, 04:25 AM
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Yes, while your locked up spreads are ok, what you have to do is find a recipe that works for you. My favorite was I would pour a packett of ramen noodles & spice packett in to a bag of jalepeno' popcorn, add hot water & let it cook. For extra flavor I might add some hot sauce. Some prison meals I just can't eat like liver, & chow mein. There are many guys who eat their own food, & rarely go to chow. I'm a cheap SOB, so I wasn't going to turn down a meal unless it really sucked. It's institutional cooking but all in all it's OK---Ken
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  #59  
Old 06-11-2002, 04:31 AM
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Wayne said he bought a bologna sandwich the other day and it "tasted like a steak." He's pretty cheap too and won't buy food unless the chow it just too nasty to tolerate.
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  #60  
Old 06-11-2002, 08:05 AM
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Steven sent me his comessary list a while back, some things are pretty cheap except for high priced items like TV's. It may be low to us, but it's expensive to them because they usually don't have the money.
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  #61  
Old 06-11-2002, 10:01 AM
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LOL.. Ok! I admit! I'm guilty! I've drunk it myself and got buzzered..

Probably 5 times during my 27 months I drank "hooch".. And it is definitely not brand wine! The hangovers are RUFF even when you don't drink a whole lot, but they always sell out of the stuff.

As for making it, we had 3 different guys in our unit alone cooking it up.. Thursday night was the night to get up in the shower stalls and remove the lighting system and get down the trash bags. It always helps when you have one of the guys from facilities loosening the security screws for the people who need to remove them.

Sometimes the CO's would search and even find a batch or two. They were not really hard about the wine until this Super CO that is always hunting for wine on the compound got up in the ceiling in the until above us. He found some bags of wine and proceeded to yank them out.. One of the bags just happened to catch on a sharp edge and rip! Now, having him covered in hooch would have made most happy as hell BUT he was up in the shower stall cubby and when that hooch let loose it hit a power source, SPARK! He got zapped off the ladder and down onto his arse.. Covered in hooch! He was ok but beyond pissed, especially with 120 guys laughing hard at him.
Normally, I wouldn't think this is really funny but this CO was a real jerk and taunted inmates like few others. Most of the other CO's were laughing about it too. That's actually how we found out. The other CO up in the unit hit the deuces when he flew off the ladder, just because it scared her so bad. When all the CO's raced out of the unit and then came back, they were beside themselves, "That's what Super Cop gets".

Anyways.. I could tell you how to make this stuff but KConner covered it pretty well. There are a lot of variations. Main ingredients are Sugar, Fruit and bread balls.. You can do it in a jar, all the way to a 50 gallon vat. Just need a little time to make the wine.. Save a little "kicker" for the next batch. (Some already cooked wine will accelerate the next batch fermenting)

"And that is all I have to say about thaa at'"
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  #62  
Old 06-11-2002, 12:52 PM
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SOUNDS WORSE THAN MAD DOG20/20--I CAN'T IMAGINE
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  #63  
Old 06-18-2002, 11:54 AM
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how sad.....
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  #64  
Old 06-18-2002, 12:27 PM
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THESE ARE THE STORIES THAT TOUCH MY HEART
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  #65  
Old 06-18-2002, 12:48 PM
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BOOKGIRL..... YOU REALLY ARE AMAZING..... THIS IS TRUE LOVE AND COMPASSION.... WHEN A WIFE REMINDS HER HUSBAND OF HIS MOTHER, THEN YOU REALLY HAVE ACOMPLISHED A GREAT TASK.... MY HAT IS OFF TO YOU...


LOVE YA
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  #66  
Old 06-19-2002, 03:56 PM
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Sherri,

The way we use to make jailhouse tamales was to take a bag of fritoes corn chips, & a bag of spicy hot cheetoes (you can use doritos too, or any spicy chip), crunch them up as much as you can. Mix them together in a chip bag. Add just enough hot water to turn it into a thick mush. Kneed the bag to mix the contents well, drain off any water (if you do it right there shouldnt be any). Roll the mix up in the chip bag in the shape of a tamale, & let it cook (sit). After about 5min, tear the bag open & pour some hot sauce over it & dig in. It comes pretty close to tasting like a tamale.

We also would make peanut brittle that came out pretty good. When I got out my family wanted to know what we ate so I showed them. Somethings they thought were all right. My son probably liked them most. It gave him ideas so he could make them himself, & they were different. He's always loved ramen soup, & he liked my personl spread recipe the best. To this day he still occasionally eats one, as I do too.
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  #67  
Old 06-19-2002, 06:45 PM
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very creative-

should be a book of these recipes
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  #68  
Old 06-19-2002, 10:40 PM
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My husband is now working in the kitchen! Well, I am screwed....when he comes home he'll never want to cook again. He said that he had to cook 270 dozen eggs the other day!!!!!!!! It makes me laugh. We are lucky though because now that he is in the kitchen...he doesn't spend as much money on food when he goes to store!!
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  #69  
Old 06-20-2002, 02:57 AM
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so he won't bake you an omelet when he gets home....that's too bad

but I'm glad to hear he has a job!
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  #70  
Old 06-20-2002, 06:26 AM
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montysgirl: follow this link to get an idea of what your hubby will be working with ~ there's a recipe at the bottom of the page for chicken and dumplings ~ for 375 people!

http://www.doc.state.nc.us/NEWS/1996...s/POLKITCH.HTM

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  #71  
Old 06-20-2002, 07:33 AM
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MONTYSGIRL--- READ THE FOOD/SEX THREAD--THE LAST THING ON YOUR MIND WILL BE HIM COOKING FOR YOU WHEN HE GETS HOME .....
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  #72  
Old 06-25-2002, 08:59 AM
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I bet you hear a lot of stories from him!
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  #73  
Old 07-01-2002, 07:46 PM
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HOW FUNNY SCRAMBLED EGG ANY ONE...
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  #74  
Old 07-01-2002, 07:57 PM
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Ya I'm sure when he gets home food/cooking will be the last thing on either of your minds
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  #75  
Old 07-02-2002, 08:12 PM
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Ladies:
When I supervised the prisoners in a facility of 1400, we unloaded about $11,000 worth of food each week. The price was an honest receipt for it came from "Food World" warehouse as wholesale. Can you imagine walking to the check-out counter with your groceries. The cashier completes scanning your items and says. "Yes mam, that will be $11,000, please." You say, " What, I may have to put something back". LOL.........38 Special.........
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