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Death Row & Capital Punishment Discussions Discussions relating to inmates on Death Row / facing capital punishment in the United States and abroad that don't fit into any of the other forums

View Poll Results: death row relationships
the dp sentence shouldn't matter, they still deserve a real relationship 171 77.38%
they are lucky they can get anyone at all and can't demand loyalty 33 14.93%
other, please explain your view 17 7.69%
Voters: 221. You may not vote on this poll

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  #51  
Old 06-22-2009, 04:59 PM
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Originally Posted by JJS811 View Post

Prison groupie is a derogatory name, for woman involved with any DR inmate. It is assumed that should one inmate either die, be executed etc, they will just move onto the next. It is quite common to see any woman who is involved with DR inmates at any level called a DR groupie by the pro DP morons. They think if they slate us enough we will drop our friendships and see things from their "enlightened" perspective. If anyone wishes to call me a DR groupie, then let them, it shows more about their ignorance than anything else!

I agree, and to me It all depends on how the word is used. My husband and I have had long talks about this, (He was once on DR). He use to call me a groupie when I was just his 'friend' but he did this in a joking sense, as I followed him from unit to unit, but never in a derogatory sense, I would have choked him.

One thing I never saw was a woman writing a man on DR and after his execution moving right along to the next guy that seemed appealing on DR.

In fact, what I saw was a lot of heart ache, and the grieving of someone who is executed is no easier than grieving someone you lost due to illness or an accident.

The grieving is too much for some.
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  #52  
Old 06-22-2009, 05:08 PM
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awww, so true. the one person I know who lost her good friend to execution has yet to be able to move on. she is still grieving and very heart broken. I still miss her so much at visiting just because the smallest of actions showed such kindness.

RIP Tookie Williams
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  #53  
Old 06-22-2009, 06:08 PM
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Mamma I find a lot of those "drive by posters" - don't always handle them so politely myself...
No they don't. Many people believe the louder they voice an opinion, the smarter it sounds. I wish they could walk a mile in your shoes, Eldon's wife. Maybe then they wouldn't be so fast to shout out! I bet not many of them could handle it though.
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  #54  
Old 06-22-2009, 07:00 PM
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Very true! The old saying "empty vessels make more noise" springs to mind. I have no problem saying I am vociferous in my views, but I am also consistent. Drive by trolls, jump in, make a non-sense post then sit and watch the flames build, maybe coming back with a inflammatory post if the flames die down. Sit and watch a controversial thread, it is so easy to see. Trolls are ten-a-penny, people like Eldon's wife are priceless!


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No they don't. Many people believe the louder they voice an opinion, the smarter it sounds. I wish they could walk a mile in your shoes, Eldon's wife. Maybe then they wouldn't be so fast to shout out! I bet not many of them could handle it though.
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  #55  
Old 06-22-2009, 07:11 PM
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Awesome post, JJ!
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  #56  
Old 06-23-2009, 10:26 AM
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i think that drive by trolls have to sit and watch us react.....they dont have the brain power to back what they say 90 % of the time.
they always seem to think that it's ok for them to say rude and hurtfull things when they have no idea of what they are really on about or any of the facts that go with the dp
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  #57  
Old 06-27-2009, 02:06 AM
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Thank you JJS. A great earlier response to an insensitive post!


Anyone who talks about a belief in God should maybe go back to the teachings of Jesus. Thieves prostitutes and murderers were the people that he hung out with, the people that he loved, the people that he offered forgiveness.

I haven't been in church for many years but I seem to remember from when I was younger something along the lines of 'WHAT YOU DO FOR THE LEAST OF THESE PEOPLE YOU DO FOR ME'.

As friends girlfriends or wives of death row inmates I guess we are the ones that are following that teaching. I don't know Littlewing maybe you need to look again at what the God you believe in wants from you!

Last edited by Mitch67; 06-27-2009 at 02:09 AM..
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  #58  
Old 06-28-2009, 12:32 AM
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I have snooped around this post for a couple days thinking on how the best way is to respond because it kind of irritated me.

This question is one that i would exspect to be asked by average society not by a girlfriend or wife of a DR inmate to another. I know it is just a question but as a wife if I ever asked to myself "what my hubby deserves out of me"? does he deserve my loyalty? would mean that in my mind I have handicapped our marriage by placing me above him because of his incarceration. To question what kind of loyalty he deserves because of the time he has received means that I would look at him as un-equal to me, that I am better than he and if that is the case then why am I with him? Regardless if he has 1 year or Death. To do this, to question this ever, puts me in a class of being in this for the wrong reasons.

Why would I be with a man for all eternity if I questioned what he deserves out of me. I took on his sentence with him as his wife because I believe in him whole heartly and therefore he is deserving of my love unconditionally...

I have never ever asked myself this question and I am glad because then I would be questioning all that I am to myself to him and anything else I do..

Last edited by Cx2; 06-28-2009 at 12:47 AM..
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  #59  
Old 06-28-2009, 05:23 AM
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she was trying to quote from the bible, but i guess she should have instead read the book of morman, where it says that, may we rise to the occasion and administer to those in need and to comfort those who morn or otherwise need comforting, and stand as witness of God at all times and in all things and in all places. Jesus has also got unconditional love for every single one of us,
The U.S. bishops as a group have spoken out against the death penalty several times since the 1970s, including a comprehensive 1980 statement and a 1999 Good Friday appeal. Individual bishops and state or regional church organizations also have issued dozens of statements and pastoral letters on the topic.
Despite everything, the Church has always and will always defend the sacredness of human life from conception to natural death as a universal value," the archbishop said.
If one accepts that respect for human life reflects the reality that God created people in his image and likeness, he said, then "the death penalty increasingly appears to be an unacceptable instrument even more than being a useless and dangerous one."
As Christians, how can we accept that someone be denied the hope of redemption?" the archbishop asked. "A man or a woman who made a mistake, who committed a crime, no matter how brutal, must have the possibility of being forgiven—while serving a tough sentence—and of living in hope."
so if she wishes to use the bible or god to establish her views on what the d;row inmates deserves or does not deserve then she obviously does not know much about her faith or about Jesus
no i do not go to church often but i fully believe those of us who are anti D/PA are following in the way of Jesus,
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  #60  
Old 06-28-2009, 06:27 AM
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Good post Elsa. I am not a church goer either. I live my life by my own moral codes and standings, so my opinions are not based on an organised faith, but my own gut instincts. I think we have to look at these people as human beings, yeah ok, call 'em monsters dregs of society if that makes you feel more superior, but they are still human. As such they are entitled to the same love and respect as anyone else.

Murder is never black and white there are many, many variables, and as such, I chose to accept that as much as I will never agree with the taking of a life under any circumstances, I was not there when the people on DR committed their crimes, so I am in no position to judge.

Having researched murder, and the DP for so many years, maybe that has helped me to understand a lot of what these men (and woman) think and feel, maybe it is just I can empathise with them as human beings. I have also read about the lives some of these people had prior to their crime. I am not nor will I use a bad childhood etc as an excuse, but I can see a distinct correlation. I also know that so many were substance abusers, and that does nothing to keep a mind clear and rational. Again no excuse but it does put things into better perspective.

Lets get the "monster" bit out the equation, and understand these people are real flesh and blood breathing human beings, with feelings and emotions. Then lets ask ourselves if they are entitled to love and be loved?


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Originally Posted by elsapunzi View Post
she was trying to quote from the bible, but i guess she should have instead read the book of morman, where it says that, may we rise to the occasion and administer to those in need and to comfort those who morn or otherwise need comforting, and stand as witness of God at all times and in all things and in all places. Jesus has also got unconditional love for every single one of us,
The U.S. bishops as a group have spoken out against the death penalty several times since the 1970s, including a comprehensive 1980 statement and a 1999 Good Friday appeal. Individual bishops and state or regional church organizations also have issued dozens of statements and pastoral letters on the topic.
Despite everything, the Church has always and will always defend the sacredness of human life from conception to natural death as a universal value," the archbishop said.
If one accepts that respect for human life reflects the reality that God created people in his image and likeness, he said, then "the death penalty increasingly appears to be an unacceptable instrument even more than being a useless and dangerous one."
As Christians, how can we accept that someone be denied the hope of redemption?" the archbishop asked. "A man or a woman who made a mistake, who committed a crime, no matter how brutal, must have the possibility of being forgiven—while serving a tough sentence—and of living in hope."
so if she wishes to use the bible or god to establish her views on what the d;row inmates deserves or does not deserve then she obviously does not know much about her faith or about Jesus
no i do not go to church often but i fully believe those of us who are anti D/PA are following in the way of Jesus,
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  #61  
Old 06-29-2009, 02:29 AM
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I have snooped around this post for a couple days thinking on how the best way is to respond because it kind of irritated me.

This question is one that i would exspect to be asked by average society not by a girlfriend or wife of a DR inmate to another. I know it is just a question but as a wife if I ever asked to myself "what my hubby deserves out of me"? does he deserve my loyalty? would mean that in my mind I have handicapped our marriage by placing me above him because of his incarceration. To question what kind of loyalty he deserves because of the time he has received means that I would look at him as un-equal to me, that I am better than he and if that is the case then why am I with him? Regardless if he has 1 year or Death. To do this, to question this ever, puts me in a class of being in this for the wrong reasons.

Why would I be with a man for all eternity if I questioned what he deserves out of me. I took on his sentence with him as his wife because I believe in him whole heartly and therefore he is deserving of my love unconditionally...

I have never ever asked myself this question and I am glad because then I would be questioning all that I am to myself to him and anything else I do..
The question isn't exactly asked from a wife or girlfriend's point of view. It isn't like should I be loyal just cuz he's on death row kind of question.

Let me talk about my exboyfriend. I'll describe him as the sweetest, nicest guy you'll ever meet. A very good looking young man sitting on death row. He had/has married women flocking to him for secret love affairs behind their husband's back. And what did he do? He wrote them poems. I read these poems. They said, thank you for taking time out of your life to come and be with me, to ease my loneliness. Wow. I was shocked. I was like how can you thank someone for adultery? But he did. He didn't believe, doesn't believe he deserves a real relationship and refuses to pursue one. So that's how the question plays out and when the women spoke this way as described in my op, they aren't women who know anyone on death row. They represent the general public. I put it out there for discussion sake. Thank you.
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Old 06-29-2009, 03:06 AM
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The question isn't exactly asked from a wife or girlfriend's point of view. It isn't like should I be loyal just cuz he's on death row kind of question.

Let me talk about my exboyfriend. I'll describe him as the sweetest, nicest guy you'll ever meet. A very good looking young man sitting on death row. He had/has married women flocking to him for secret love affairs behind their husband's back. And what did he do? He wrote them poems. I read these poems. They said, thank you for taking time out of your life to come and be with me, to ease my loneliness. Wow. I was shocked. I was like how can you thank someone for adultery? But he did. He didn't believe, doesn't believe he deserves a real relationship and refuses to pursue one. So that's how the question plays out and when the women spoke this way as described in my op, they aren't women who know anyone on death row. They represent the general public. I put it out there for discussion sake. Thank you.
Thank you for explaining that, as I was kinda annoyed by this thread too. Feeling more or less like 'oh my, an other bunch of people having an opinion'.
Now I see you are just looking for understanding an issue from your own life.
I still don't have any real answers for you though. Other than that I know quite a few men who are on DR feel they have no right to a 'real' relationship and that it can be a real struggle in many ways.
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  #63  
Old 06-29-2009, 03:18 AM
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it was not you esteli that i was taking about as i realised that you were just asking a question but the other person was not asking and i was referring to that one
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Old 06-29-2009, 10:57 PM
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Thank you for explaining that, as I was kinda annoyed by this thread too. Feeling more or less like 'oh my, an other bunch of people having an opinion'.
Now I see you are just looking for understanding an issue from your own life.
I still don't have any real answers for you though. Other than that I know quite a few men who are on DR feel they have no right to a 'real' relationship and that it can be a real struggle in many ways.
well I'm just asking because I've seen it from both sides. from the inmate's side and others who have told me this, even one woman from PTO here who told me what I wrote in the OP. so it is a reality that does exist with death row inmates. and yes, everything regarding death row is an issue affecting my personal life somehow. I'm very much involved. Very much.
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Old 06-29-2009, 10:58 PM
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it was not you esteli that i was taking about as i realised that you were just asking a question but the other person was not asking and i was referring to that one
I know girl.
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Old 07-01-2009, 08:53 AM
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thanks i was a bit worried in case you thought it was you and am happy that you realised it was not you
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Old 10-08-2009, 10:52 AM
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Groupie is a term I read a lot about in the Lifer forum here on PTO.
mind directing to some threads in the lifer form regarding the above?

tx, in advance.
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Old 10-08-2009, 11:21 AM
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Saw this thread again in new posts...

Ya'll are funny. BTW, I'm not a troll. I was sincerely interested in participating in a thread started by somone I have a great deal of respect for, but everything I said was twisted by others who didn't' even bother to pay attention to my whole post. I'm not a moron, and I'm not lacking any brain power...if you knew anything about me then I might take your comments to heart.

I dont' feel like I said anything in an insensitive way. Many of my words were twisted around. Never once did I say that I am "all for the death penalty". Goodness...read it for what it is. Not everyone has quite as much of a soft spot for men on death row, as not everyone is close to a dr inmate. That doesn't mean that we are any less good or caring, or christian because we feel that they deserve to face consequences (again, I'm not saying death). This forum is meant for people who are loving a DR inmate, and I guess that means that I shouldn't post here...so from now on I will refrain, however I did want to come back and respond to the rude remarks by some people here...they were ridiculous.

I would just like to point out that never once did I throw around insults...or tear down someone's faith. That was you guys.
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Old 10-08-2009, 11:29 AM
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mind directing to some threads in the lifer form regarding the above?

tx, in advance.

Do it yourself sweet peach. If you have time to dredge up an old thread, you obviously have time to search it yourself. Besides don't you own the lifer forum.
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Old 10-08-2009, 11:31 AM
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Originally Posted by LittleWing13 View Post
Saw this thread again in new posts...

Ya'll are funny. BTW, I'm not a troll. I was sincerely interested in participating in a thread started by somone I have a great deal of respect for, but everything I said was twisted by others who didn't' even bother to pay attention to my whole post. I'm not a moron, and I'm not lacking any brain power...if you knew anything about me then I might take your comments to heart.

I dont' feel like I said anything in an insensitive way. Many of my words were twisted around. Never once did I say that I am "all for the death penalty". Goodness...read it for what it is. Not everyone has quite as much of a soft spot for men on death row, as not everyone is close to a dr inmate. That doesn't mean that we are any less good or caring, or christian because we feel that they deserve to face consequences (again, I'm not saying death). This forum is meant for people who are loving a DR inmate, and I guess that means that I shouldn't post here...so from now on I will refrain, however I did want to come back and respond to the rude remarks by some people here...they were ridiculous.

I would just like to point out that never once did I throw around insults...or tear down someone's faith. That was you guys.
I respect her too!! and i ALWAYS respect your posts,keep em coming!!
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Old 10-08-2009, 12:07 PM
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Originally Posted by LittleWing13 View Post
Saw this thread again in new posts...

Ya'll are funny. BTW, I'm not a troll. I was sincerely interested in participating in a thread started by somone I have a great deal of respect for, but everything I said was twisted by others who didn't' even bother to pay attention to my whole post. I'm not a moron, and I'm not lacking any brain power...if you knew anything about me then I might take your comments to heart.

I dont' feel like I said anything in an insensitive way. Many of my words were twisted around. Never once did I say that I am "all for the death penalty". Goodness...read it for what it is. Not everyone has quite as much of a soft spot for men on death row, as not everyone is close to a dr inmate. That doesn't mean that we are any less good or caring, or christian because we feel that they deserve to face consequences (again, I'm not saying death). This forum is meant for people who are loving a DR inmate, and I guess that means that I shouldn't post here...so from now on I will refrain, however I did want to come back and respond to the rude remarks by some people here...they were ridiculous.

I would just like to point out that never once did I throw around insults...or tear down someone's faith. That was you guys.
Thank you, I understand what you are saying here. I used to work with death row inmates doing their appeals and gathering new information. Though some cases were too much for me to bear, there were others that I felt sympathy for and I tried too hard to ease their suffering as best I could. Well it got me in a heap of trouble. I had to go back and reflect that it was not my place to interven. From the perspective of God, life, karma, the Bible, etc. I realized suffering needs to take place for the soul to evolve. I hear you.
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Old 10-08-2009, 12:21 PM
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Thank you Steli, I knew you understood...and that is all that really matters, as you are the only one I was replying to. You know how I am...LOL

BIG LOVE
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Old 10-16-2009, 03:00 PM
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Do it yourself sweet peach. If you have time to dredge up an old thread, you obviously have time to search it yourself. Besides don't you own the lifer forum.
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Old 10-16-2009, 03:13 PM
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Let's keep this supportive. Personal agendas will not be tolerated.
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Old 10-18-2009, 03:23 AM
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Originally Posted by LittleWing13 View Post
Saw this thread again in new posts...

Ya'll are funny. BTW, I'm not a troll. I was sincerely interested in participating in a thread started by somone I have a great deal of respect for, but everything I said was twisted by others who didn't' even bother to pay attention to my whole post. I'm not a moron, and I'm not lacking any brain power...if you knew anything about me then I might take your comments to heart.

I dont' feel like I said anything in an insensitive way. Many of my words were twisted around. Never once did I say that I am "all for the death penalty". Goodness...read it for what it is. Not everyone has quite as much of a soft spot for men on death row, as not everyone is close to a dr inmate. That doesn't mean that we are any less good or caring, or christian because we feel that they deserve to face consequences (again, I'm not saying death). This forum is meant for people who are loving a DR inmate, and I guess that means that I shouldn't post here...so from now on I will refrain, however I did want to come back and respond to the rude remarks by some people here...they were ridiculous.

I would just like to point out that never once did I throw around insults...or tear down someone's faith. That was you guys.
Dont worry girl, there are many here that clearly not only love a DR inmate but are married to them and we get attacked too..

This Is a "loving a Dr inmate" forum not a place to enforce Anti-death penalty adovacate perspectives...That is the PTO policy not the members and I think unfourtunatly it is being treated as a forum for ADP members to enforce there perspectives and humiliate other members which is not fair...

No one is wrong or right the Death Penalty is a very complex, emotional sentence that many are neutral on and everyone in there own view should be respected for that view...

Loving a DR inmate is the threads not anything more or less...

Being for or against the DP is a personal position that one holds that should not be used against someone that thinks differently than the other.

It is a moral position, a personal view therefore it can't be wrong or right..

And certainly a positon when done with tact and maturity no one should be attacked for....

PTO policy-Not a Anti or Pro Death Peanlty site it is support!!!!!
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