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Met While Incarcerated Were you introduced by a friend or family member after he/she was incarcerated? Did you meet as Pen Pals? This Forum is for you!

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  #1  
Old 10-10-2010, 05:32 PM
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Smile Questions for MWI who are/were CO's/Officers/Employees of System

Hi there! I know how much bashing we can get sometimes just because we were or are employeed where we met our loved one. So.. I decided just to make a thread just for us!

Now hopefully this will put a stop to some of the rude comments, while letting us post our feelings.

So go ahead. Vent or whatever you need to do. I know that I could use some insight from someone who has been through the same thing I am going through.

How does it feel to be so close but yet so far?
How does it feel to be risking it all for the one you love?
How exactly did they catch your attention at first?
What field are you going into now that you can't be employeed in the prison system?
Any fears or doubts about your loved one?

Talk about anything you want. Just make it about us employeed in the system. I would hate to cause another ruckus.

Last edited by officeremily; 10-10-2010 at 05:35 PM..
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Old 10-10-2010, 05:38 PM
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that's nice except that on PTO everyone is allowed to post. you can't exclude people.

oh and can you clarify what those of us employed by the system mean, is that just COs that you are calling out? or ex COs? Or does it include nurses, teachers, or even legal personnel who got involved with an inmate, client, etc.?
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  #3  
Old 10-10-2010, 05:48 PM
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Originally Posted by esteli View Post
that's nice except that on PTO everyone is allowed to post. you can't exclude people.

oh and can you clarify what those of us employed by the system mean, is that just COs that you are calling out? or ex COs? Or does it include nurses, teachers, or even legal personnel who got involved with an inmate, client, etc.?

Well of course everyone is allowed to post, but I just wanted to try to discourage CO bashing. It happens in like all of my posts. I'm starting to think nobody likes me! LOL

And no not just CO's. Anyone who has worked with or around inmates, and got involved with one.

And I didn't mean to try to exclude anyone or anything like that. I just want this to be a thread to talk about meeting an inmate while working around them. It's a pretty broad catagory actually. If anyone has experienced anything like this they can post here. It's hard to find threads about this topic really. And when you do it's a specific question. I just want people to be able to say what they need to say. Do a little venting. LOL
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Old 10-10-2010, 06:00 PM
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well let's see after the gang task force raided my house with a warrant for my arrest, I got fired from my legal job and got blacklisted. I wasn't allowed to work in a legal office. I felt completely stupid for risking my job. I went to visit him one last time before I was banned from the prison and his reaction was "Oh I thought I'd never see you again, I started writing someone else." I cried right there in front of him and left, never saw him again. I went on to feel stupid, ridiculed, and lame for letting down everyone professional. How stupid I was. I would never do this again. Now I think how I would be grateful for my job and never betray my employer that way nor my coworkers. I would quit if I had fallen for an inmate. But I learned my lesson.
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  #5  
Old 10-11-2010, 03:03 PM
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Quote:
How does it feel to be so close but yet so far?
How does it feel to be risking it all for the one you love?
How exactly did they catch your attention at first?
What field are you going into now that you can't be employeed in the prison system?
Any fears or doubts about your loved one?
It's very frustrating to be only 4 miles away from him, yet still unable to see him or speak to him! He added my number to his phone call list, but for some reason the call wouldn't go through. Also, I can't visit him unless we get married!

To risk it all for the man I love, well, all I've got to say is that he's worth it. I wouldn't be here on pto if I didn't think he was worth it. I would have jus discontinued contact when I quit the prison. I just look at him as the man I love. He just happens to be in a prison.

My bf really didn't catch my attention at all for awhile. There is a lot of inmates in the prison I worked at and I didn't really notice him for a long time. Apparently I told him he was annoying at some point. I liked working there and got along really well with most of the inmates. I worked nights finished counting my housing unit faster than the other housing unit and went back to pull out the inmates to work in the kitchen. My bf was almost always the only one up and ready for work so I would pull him out to go to work while I waited for count to clear and for the kitchen staff to arrive. We would just talk and hang out until I could send him to work

I have no idea what I'm going to do now. I've gotten a temporary job for half what I made at the prison just to keep me on my feet. The bad part is, everyone in this tiny town knows me and knows why I'm not there anymore, so to get a decent job, I may have to move farther away from him.

My only fear is having to wait 4 years for his release. I will be old enough by then it will make it difficult to have kids. I haven't had any, yet and we really want some. I don't doubt him at all. What could he possibly want from me other than my love? I can't give him any money because I'm not on his visiting lise and I can't even visit him. He never asked me to do anything immoral or illegal in the prison, nor would he ask me for that now.
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  #6  
Old 10-12-2010, 09:46 AM
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Originally Posted by esteli View Post
well let's see after the gang task force raided my house with a warrant for my arrest, I got fired from my legal job and got blacklisted. I wasn't allowed to work in a legal office. I felt completely stupid for risking my job. I went to visit him one last time before I was banned from the prison and his reaction was "Oh I thought I'd never see you again, I started writing someone else." I cried right there in front of him and left, never saw him again. I went on to feel stupid, ridiculed, and lame for letting down everyone professional. How stupid I was. I would never do this again. Now I think how I would be grateful for my job and never betray my employer that way nor my coworkers. I would quit if I had fallen for an inmate. But I learned my lesson.
How did you get caught? Why was there a warrant for your arrest? Just curious!
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Old 10-12-2010, 12:17 PM
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I'm an ex C/O. I wasn't looking to find love or anything, but it happened. I quit when they locked another inmate (not my hubby) up. They thought we were in a relationship. W-R-O-N-G. I didn't get involved with my husband until AFTER I left, but I'd met him while I worked there. Most say quitting my job admitted my guilt with Mike (Mike saved my life. He told me to be strong--he didn't know what was going on, but he saw changes in me. We cracked jokes back and forth--but NOTHING that breached security or would've caused me to lose my job, but I just couldn't handle the hammer they were bringing down on him. They put him in the hole on his birthday. Come to find out, he was getting out that December & they were trying to revoke some good time. He was in for murder & they wanted to keep him. I call him Mike now. He's home. I haven't even seen him or spoke with him since the last time on the yard. I miss him. He was funny & a great guy. One of those people that will make all your worries disappear with a smile. He and my husband were really close friends (prison friends)...we talk about Mike often. He's our own little private joke. And we pray for him and that he's doing well! I started writing my husband a few months after I left the institution. He'd been transferred to another prison. And would you believe, they doctored files to make it seem like I was under an investigation for being involved with him, just so we couldn't have visits...that's okay, he was paroled 13 months later, we got married and now leading our lives. So, I'll answer your Q's based on when he was still down.

How does it feel to be so close but yet so far? It was killer! He was an hour away when I wrote him the first time-they eventually moved him a couple hours away. But I couldn't even hop in a car and go visit him because of the DOC.

How does it feel to be risking it all for the one you love? It was scary. My job had been long gone (and I admit there were times I wish I hadn't left my job before I started writing Adam!) But it was scary telling my family who I was involved with...would I be outcasted? Fortunately, my family (all except for one or two who are distant relatives anyway) embraced Adam. And now that he's home...you'd think he'd been in our family forever!

How exactly did they catch your attention at first? LOL! I had to wake him up every morning for work in the kitchen. And he was the ONLY one who I had to go back during count and give a second wake up. (Most ofc. wouldn't do that!) He told me in letters that he did that just so he could hear my voice say his name again. It was just an extra special thing I did for him, and he enjoyed it! And still he calls me his Snoozebutton/Snoozie.

What field are you going into now that you can't be employeed in the prison system? I went back into childcare a couple a few months after I left the prison. I found a wonderful job! I became head teacher and worked there until the place was falling apart and one of the owners came onto property harassing some of us girls...currently, I'm drawing unemployment. Since I moved to my new home, it's been hard trying to find anything, really. But with the economy looking up (or so "they" say), hopefully, I'll get back to work, soon!

Any fears or doubts about your loved one? I can honestly say, I never had any doubts about Adam. I knew he wasn't playing any games. I guess it was my "gut instinct." He showered me with love and adoration. Everything he EVER told me has been the truth. Even down to his CRAZY ex-wife! LOL! He told me things that most women would've raised an eyebrow to..like his son has the same name as my son. And they were both named after TV Shows, and both walk on their tiptoes. How freakin' random is that??? But now he's home (been home since August 26, 2009). And the past month has been HORRIBLE! We hit a brick wall. Things coming down on us. Huge changes happened for us in a year & he's dealing with stuff, I'm dealing with stuff...I'm blessed to have friends (new & old) to turn to...and many praying for us. And things have turned around (in just the last two days, actually!). I wanted to leave!!! But how stupid it would be to give up everything for a lot of little misunderstandings! It's a long wrong...but we've been blessed & it all started behind some prison walls!
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  #8  
Old 10-12-2010, 01:48 PM
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How does it feel to be so close but yet so far?

It hurt. I don't know of any other way to describe it.

How does it feel to be risking it all for the one you love?

If I could go back there are so many things I would have done differently but I can't say I regret giving up my career for Tyrone.

How exactly did they catch your attention at first?

He was the dorm barber and one of my sgt.'s "favorites" so I was forced to interact with him. He was different that any man I'd ever interacted with. He actually gave a damn and I could tell it wasn't game.

What field are you going into now that you can't be employeed in the prison system?

The field I should have entered in the first place, social services. I started at the prison because I wanted to help people. Yeah, wrong line of work. Now, I work for D.C.F. in the access department (welfare). Yay, I still get my state retirement. Take that O.C.I. !!!

Any fears or doubts about your loved one?

Absolutely none.

I know no one asked for it but I have to give a little advice to anyone who is currently employed and is in a relationship with an inmate...GET OUT! Find another job before you lose everything you have worked for. If you're involved with an inmate you do not have the hardness required to work in corrections. I have to agree with esteli in that I learned my lesson. The consequences have taught me that betraying my employer and the public is one of the worst things I could have done. I can't see him, I am barred from any type of employment that requires a serious security clearance. I don't regret my relationship but now that I'm older I can respect that I was wrong and should have done things in a different way. OP, I'm not calling you out specifically or anything but honestly that is a warning that all current staff members should heed so I felt it needed to be put it out there. I've been there and would give damn near anything to rewind time and do things so differently. Not because of what I've lost, just because there was a better, more mature way to handle things.
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  #9  
Old 10-12-2010, 02:48 PM
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the war in her I agree with the last part of your post.
I too worked at the jail where my man was and while there was no realtionship while he was there, once I became involved with him, I left my job and went to work somewhere else so that I would not feel any shame or guilt.
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Old 10-12-2010, 04:46 PM
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How does it feel to be so close but yet so far?

Oh what the heck a job is a job right, LOL. I was a temp working in the medical ward when I met my MWI. He worked with me and it was pretty much instantanious. Instant chemistry, the more we talked the more we found we had in commom. I think this man was more reluctant about this relationship than I was.
I have moved away from that city but it was difficult to drive by and know that he's just over that dang wall and there's no way I can see him.


How does it feel to be risking it all for the one you love?

My life did change after they asked me not to come back because they felt he became too close to me. So I still work in healthcare but a totally different area, which is so much better.

How exactly did they catch your attention at first?
All this man did was look me in the eye, for awhile I must say. It was like we were in some kind of transe. He tried to talk to me but I did my best to avoid him because I felt such a strong pull to him.

What field are you going into now that you can't be employeed in the prison system?
I'm still in Medical, but now I work with chronicly ill patients.

Any fears or doubts about your loved one?
Yes, my major fear is that he will give up on us because we are not allowed any contact right now. I would love to just let him know that I'm ok and that we will always be ok.
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Old 10-13-2010, 07:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by officeremily View Post
How does it feel to be so close but yet so far?
How does it feel to be risking it all for the one you love?
How exactly did they catch your attention at first?
What field are you going into now that you can't be employeed in the prison system?
Any fears or doubts about your loved one?
It was hard being there....for me it was almost harder than being away from him. Risking my job was not the right thing looking back at it now, but I don't regret leaving either. It wasn't the right field for me. It was a learning experience, but it wasn't for me and I know that now. Right now I'm doing administrative work. I don't know if I can't be employed in the prison system, but I haven't tried cause I don't want to be. He was on my caseload which is how I met him. He was also one of the inmate workers eventually so I saw him a lot cause he cleaned the offices. No, I don't have any fears or doubts about my guy. He's serious about us...if he wasn't, he wouldn't be with me. I know that and I know how much he loves me because his actions have backed that up.
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Old 10-13-2010, 07:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by officeremily View Post
Well of course everyone is allowed to post, but I just wanted to try to discourage CO bashing. It happens in like all of my posts. I'm starting to think nobody likes me! LOL
I know that I have responded negatively to your posts before. It isn't that I don't like you I mean I don't even know you but when you ask for an opinion here the liklihood is you are going to get one even if it isn't what you want to hear.

My honest opinion - setting up exclusive type threads isn't going to increase your fan base!

Last edited by Terry; 10-15-2010 at 11:40 AM.. Reason: repair broken quote code
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Old 10-14-2010, 11:00 AM
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[quote=Mitch67;5717171]
Quote:
Originally Posted by officeremily View Post

I know that I have responded negatively to your posts before. It isn't that I don't like you I mean I don't even know you but when you ask for an opinion here the liklihood is you are going to get one even if it isn't what you want to hear.

My honest opinion - setting up exclusive type threads isn't going to increase your fan base!
Just because you have a different opinion doesn’t mean you have to be mean. Not everyone who comes on here is caught up in creating a “fan base.” Thank goodness for that as it would make for a rather shallow forum. Believe it or not, some people are actually more concerned with giving and receiving support from others who are going through similar situations. I can understand why employees or former employees would appreciate the chance to share their experiences without having to continually defend themselves against other MWI’s.

I commend these women for being open about falling in love on the job, (it happens all the time in the free world), and commend, as well, their honesty in relating their choices, there regrets, their lessons learned, and the outcomes. I know me, and if I was single and worked in a prison, I would probably end up in their shoes.
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Old 10-14-2010, 05:52 PM
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How does it feel to be so close but yet so far?
I absolutely hate it! I live here in the same town where hes locked up at and i hate knowing hes just right across town yet i cant see him! I do talk to him EVERY DAY! Thats the only thing that keeps me sane and his letters! :-)

How does it feel to be risking it all for the one you love?
When i first started i just "knew" i wouldnt fall for an inmate but there was just something about him. I know cell phones are not allowed but his cellie had one so he would call me and wake me up for work! I knew i could get in trouble but i hated the thot of finding another job and not getting to see him everyday.

How exactly did they catch your attention at first?
He was sooo into himself that it made me sick. Lol i understood why but really? Lol eventually he started helping me to things like handing out lunch sacks when we were on lockdown and requests. It helped me out a lot! He also told me how i was more caring than some other c/o's cause most treated them worse than animals and i hated that cause theyre still human plus my dad had been incarcerated before and i wouldnt want ppl to treat him like some officers treated these inmates.

What field are you going into now that you can't be employeed in the prison system?
Well before the prison i was actually a CNA but decided to take a try out there for the pay really. Now im back to being a CNA only doing home health not nursing homes. I only make $1 less than i did at the prison so im not too upset cause at least i hear his voice everyday and write letters and send pics!

Any fears or doubts about your loved one?
To be completely honest i sometimes feel that he will end up talking to another c/o but he assures me that he will never do that and he wouldnt have talked to me but he couldnt stop trying knowing i was different. I love him so much!

Last edited by Hisrideordie76; 10-14-2010 at 05:57 PM..
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Old 10-14-2010, 06:32 PM
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I've never been employed in a jail or prison, but I do work in them. I applaud you all for often taking the high road around here. I hope you all get the peace you need in this thread.
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Old 10-15-2010, 09:18 AM
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[quote=wildvalleyrose;5719852]
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Just because you have a different opinion doesn’t mean you have to be mean. Not everyone who comes on here is caught up in creating a “fan base.” Thank goodness for that as it would make for a rather shallow forum. Believe it or not, some people are actually more concerned with giving and receiving support from others who are going through similar situations. I can understand why employees or former employees would appreciate the chance to share their experiences without having to continually defend themselves against other MWI’s.

I commend these women for being open about falling in love on the job, (it happens all the time in the free world), and commend, as well, their honesty in relating their choices, there regrets, their lessons learned, and the outcomes. I know me, and if I was single and worked in a prison, I would probably end up in their shoes.
I hope that you aren't suggesting I am being mean bcause that was certainly not my intention. I was simply stating that sometimes the responses to certain threads may not be what the OP wants to hear. Sometimes I do make negative responses (not just to former CO) because not everything is positive and has a happy ending but I always try to do that with respect for the feelings of the OP.

I have no feelings either positive or negative towards former CO that are involved in a prison relationship. They will do what they want to do and I will do the same. At the end of everything it is of no concern to me the choices that they make in their life.

Personally I think as MWI we all face a lot of prejudice and misunderstanding from people who cannot appreciate how we have formed the relationships that we have with our loved ones and splitting that down again to threads that are directed at a particular group within the MWI group is in my opinion just making us weaker rather than stronger standing together.

To be honest all the people can do whatever they like and if I don't like what people are up to then I will let the thread pass. Just wanted to make sure that everyone was aware that I am not coming at this OP in a mean spirited way just stating the facts as I see them.

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Old 10-15-2010, 11:43 AM
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Every member of PTO is welcome to post in any forum and any thread as long as they follow the PTO guidelines.

Now, let's please stick to the OP's topic and stop the back and forth.

Thanks everyone.
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Old 10-19-2010, 10:39 PM
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Well, first off I'd like to say that it's nice to see that someone has created a thread for "us" - as I read people's thoughts/comments I'm struck by that bible verse - 'He without sin cast the first stone' - I'm also reminded of an old George Strait song, You Can't Make A Heart Love Somebody - for those of you that don't know it, it's about a man asking a woman to marry him and she says she's sorry but her heart is the only part of her that's not in love with him. We can't control who we fall in love with...love can be completely irrationally insane but somehow it makes sense to us and isn't that what should matter? How is meeting your sig. other while you were employed at his/her unit make you any different than someone who surfed the classifieds for theirs? I worked in the prison system - that's where I met my boyfriend - personally, I quit after something began to develop. The only concern I have with MWI is the predators that find someone's weakness and exploit it to their advantage. I saw it happen multiple times - however, not everyone person in prison is a predator. I'm not sure about other states but Texas incarcerates a lot of people - it seems it's getting easier and easier to land yourself behind bars (does anyone remember when prison was reserved for the "worst of the worst" - it literally was hell on earth?) and there are a lot of good people that have made a stupid mistake and now they're paying for it. But that's on them not on us. So that's a few of my cents on the subject... Now for the original post...
How does it feel to be so close but yet so far?
Oh my gosh! It's horrible!!! Luckily his mom is wonderful and I have been able to talk to him on the phone!
How exactly did they catch your attention at first?
I first noticed him when he was unloading a truck - it was really hot that day and he had taken off his top and underneath he had on a white t-shirt that was soaked with sweat - his whole body was glistening and I could see every muscle under his shirt. I was standing in the hallway trying to pretend that I hadn't noticed him and neither one of us were paying attention and he almost ran over me with the pallet jack!
What field are you going into now that you can't be employeed in the prison system?
I'm actually back in school working on my masters.
Any fears or doubts about your loved one?
Well, there's that seed of questioning whether he's talking to someone else. But I don't let it get very far because I remind myself that he's could be sitting in his cell thinking the same thing! We're really open and honest with each other (at this point that's all we have!) so I feel pretty good about him/us/me.

Thanks again for creating this thread!!! It's nice to have a place to talk openly about my experience and know that I'm not all alone!!!
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  #19  
Old 10-21-2010, 06:55 PM
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I worked in a state prison in Pennsylvania for many years. Before that, I was a CO in the state of Delaware on Death Row. I NEVER in my wildest dreams expected any of this to happen, but it did. I regret the way it happened but I do not regret meeting Rob. If I had to do it all over again, I would have quit when we realized that we were in love with each other. But, I was selfish and kept thinking to myself, "I won't get to see him everyday if I quit." I know, stupid!

I look at all of this-this way, if I didn't work there, and he wasn't where he is, we may have never met. There is a reason for everything and I refuse to beat myself or let anyone else for that matter over how everything happened. It is what it is. I still get to 'talk' to him via letters. No phone calls yet, but as soon as he gets moved to a different institution, that should be able to start up again!



How does it feel to be so close but yet so far?
Absolutely horrible, but we still get to mail each other letters all the time which does my psyche good!

How does it feel to be risking it all for the one you love?
If I had it to do over again, I woud have started corresponding with him and letting him call me after I quit. As if turns out, we got "caught", I was pulled into the security office and I quit, simple as that! I would do things much differently if I had it to over again. He is now in the hole until he's transferred. I was selfish and immature about the whole situation and so was he. But, the way I see it, I can't say that I regret meeting him, just the way I handled it after I met him. (Does that make sense?)

How exactly did they catch your attention at first?
He worked in the same office I did. He and I just clicked! We still do! He has the most beautiful blue piercing blue eyes I have ever seen. He is 6'0" and 200 pounds. That's what caught my attention, but after I got to know him, he could have looked like Shrek and I would have still fallen. He is the sweetest person I have ever met and God put us together.

What field are you going into now that you can't be employeed in the prison system?


I now work in the social services field. And I may add, I couldn't be happier. I am going back to school though. Never too old to learn new tricks! :0)


Any fears or doubts about your loved one?
None. He never asked me to do anything illegal while I was working there. I never had any physical contact with him and I never took anything illegal into the prison. We are planning on getting married. He wants to get married while he's still incarcerated, I need some time to think about that one. He has a year left (today!!!) until his minimum and he will be eligible for parole. I speak to his family everyday and that is how we get letters to each other. On October 30th I meet the family for the first time! (I'm so nervous!) Say a prayer for me on that one that I don't make a total idiot of myself!!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by officeremily View Post
Hi there! I know how much bashing we can get sometimes just because we were or are employeed where we met our loved one. So.. I decided just to make a thread just for us!

Now hopefully this will put a stop to some of the rude comments, while letting us post our feelings.

So go ahead. Vent or whatever you need to do. I know that I could use some insight from someone who has been through the same thing I am going through.

How does it feel to be so close but yet so far?
How does it feel to be risking it all for the one you love?
How exactly did they catch your attention at first?
What field are you going into now that you can't be employeed in the prison system?
Any fears or doubts about your loved one?

Talk about anything you want. Just make it about us employeed in the system. I would hate to cause another ruckus.
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Old 10-22-2010, 04:43 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by officeremily View Post
Hi there! I know how much bashing we can get sometimes just because we were or are employeed where we met our loved one. So.. I decided just to make a thread just for us!

Now hopefully this will put a stop to some of the rude comments, while letting us post our feelings.

So go ahead. Vent or whatever you need to do. I know that I could use some insight from someone who has been through the same thing I am going through.

How does it feel to be so close but yet so far?
How does it feel to be risking it all for the one you love?
How exactly did they catch your attention at first?
What field are you going into now that you can't be employeed in the prison system?
Any fears or doubts about your loved one?

Talk about anything you want. Just make it about us employeed in the system. I would hate to cause another ruckus.

I wanted to add something I thought of this morning. I agree with Tyrone's wife and Estali (spelling? I apologize). IF you are in this situation now and are still working for your DOC, GET OUT! There is nothing worse than suffering the humiliation of being "walked out" of the prison you are working in. I was walked out with the whole security office. It was awful. My union steward stayed with me the whole entire time to make sure they didn't ask me anything else. It was the most humiliating experience I have ever been through. I didn't cry the whole 3.5 hours I was being interrogated, but as soon as I got to my car, the flood gates opened and it was awful. (My only saving grace was it was count time and there weren't many people standing around outside.) The loneliness and isolation you feel afterwards is not worth staying and risking that humiliation. If you do decide to stay and I don't recommend it at all, but you are grown, you make your own decisions, you will find out that the people you thought were your friends in the institution are truly not. They will turn their backs on you in a heartbeat. I have two officers, one male and one female who still speak to me. That was another real eye opener for me.

Thankfully, I have his family to fall back on, but calling them that day and letting them know what just happened was also one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. His cousin broke down into tears and kept saying, "I knew this would happen, oh my God, I tried telling him but he refused to listen, all he kept saying was, I love her, I won't give her up." I thought for sure they would blame me, but luckily, they have accepted all of this and tell me all of the time, "we are just happy he met someone that makes him so happy and is willing to stand beside him through everything, and just want him transferred so he can move on with his sentence and get the hell out of there." Not to mention, Rob is still in the hole and will be until they transfer him. Being in the hole would be like a slow painful death for me (I know, I used to work there sometimes,) and it's absolutely driving him crazy, I can feel the undertone from his letters. He tells me in his letters that it doesn't matter, he would do it all again, "he did it for love." (Oh brother! He's so silly!)

I didn't do anything illegal but if you are, you could and most likely will suffer the consequence of having a record. I won't even get into that with you because I have no experience with it. But, the consequences would be devastating to most and absolutely horrific. I couldn't even imagine, nor do I want to.

Please please please, do yourself and your man a favor. If I would have quit before we got caught, we wouldn't be in this predicament now. I know the economy is bad, but you will have the DOCs blessing when you go to find another job. They will give you a good recommendation, I didn't have that luxury.

I am so sorry to sound as if I'm on a soap box and preaching, but I would just like to save people the heartache that I went through. If it wasn't for Tyrone's Wife and The war in her speaking to me and talking via private messaging on this site, I truly believe I would have had a nervous breakdown. I thank God everyday that I found this site and the people I have met on it. It has been a blessing. Surround yourself with true friends. I "ran" into a girl I had known twenty + years ago in highschool on facebook right before it happened. Very strange, but thank God I did, the day after I quit the prison, she had an interview for me where she worked and I got the position that I am in now. She knows the real reason that I quit and doesn't judge me for it. Those are the types of friends you need to surround yourself with.

Ok. I'm done preaching. Hope you all have a great day!
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  #21  
Old 10-22-2010, 11:29 AM
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So, I met my country boy while I was a nurse at a detention facilty... of course we had to keep it quiet coz I could get fired... I did his intake and was like OMG he's so cute... which is very weird for me coz I KNEW not to think of inmates this way but there was just something about him. I was in a bad marriage at the time and he was just there for me he would listen while I talked about what was goin on... but one day when I showed up to work all bruised up he said I better had sent him packin (which I did, sent him to jail). Me and B got realy close and there was a strong physical attraction and he was different from anyone I had ever met... We never kissed or anything while we were at the detention facility but he would come to medical every night I worked so I could "check his BP" which was our ploy to just be able to touch... that was until he left to go to FCI that was the second saddest night of my life because he had been askin if I would write and visit when he left I told him I didnt know coz I didnt want to lose my job and I didnt know what to think or if it was real... it wasnt til the next night I worked and he wasnt there that I realized I needed him for the rest of my life... this became the Saddest night of my life! I worked about another week there and just couldn't do it anymore so I quit without another job in site looked up the addy to write Brandon and have been visiting him every week since it's been a year since we met, 8 mths since Ive been visiting and 6 mths since we've been a couple... I love him and never knew that love could be like this and I've been through the questions "is he usin me? does he really love me?" and all I have to do is look in his blue eyes and I know he loves me and we're a match that God himself ordained... I can't wait til he's out and we can start sharin our life together...

How does it feel to be so close but yet so far?
Yeah so this part did suck... like I worked the night shift so he was always asleep when I was up working... and I only lived like 10 miles away and couldn't just be with him... but now he's like 40 miles so it still sucks lol...

How does it feel to be risking it all for the one you love?
Well we didn't really risk anything, because we didn't have a relationship while together... but we did pass notes but no one really monitored so it wasn't a big deal...

How exactly did they catch your attention at first?
Well I caught his attention first... I'm country so instead of saying batteries I say battrees and he was like "you say battrees?" and I was like "Uhh yeah" and he said "I say battrees too"

What field are you going into now that you can't be employeed in the prison system?
Since I'm a nurse I really don't have a problem finding a new job...

Any fears or doubts about your loved one?
No I love him so much and I trust him beyond doubt...
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  #22  
Old 10-22-2010, 11:47 AM
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To add to the people saying, LEAVE before you get caught. DO IT!! Yes, it's HARD! So so hard for me & it wasn't even about someone who I fell in love with. It was about someone who was a friend to me. I hated the thought of not seeing him. He'd always make me SMILE. And helped me in other ways. He saved my life, really. I stuck around with my head in the clouds thinking I wasn't doing anything wrong. (And I wasn't--because we never stepped over any lines. I was doing what any other officer did (except they were male), but they were suspicious. And that's ALL it takes, ladies and gents. Their crazy idea that something is going on!!! This particular gentlemen waved at me one morning from the walkway on his way to work. I nodded my head at him, and one crazy little girl officer went marching her happy tail to the Captain's Office. (It's amazing that inmates had my back & told me this was happening). I NEVER thought it would go any further than that. But it did!! They came down on me. I kept pushing through. And then they attacked him. With searches, harassment and finally they locked him up on his birthday. They couldn't find anything that was wrong. But they knew if they pushed, they might break one of us. It was THAT point, I realized, I can't do this to him. I can't hang around here simply because he brings a smile to my face...because I'm screwing with HIS life. They can take his good time, ladies. They can put him SMU (KY's hole). They can do whatever the hell they want...because your man (or lady) is THEIR PROPERTY!! That's right..you touch them?? You've trespassed. You have sex with them? Even KISS them?? You've committed sexual abuse. Know where that lands you??? On the Sex Offender Registries. It's not pretty. Get out. Sit down, write him a letter...tell him to ask for a transfer and then go visit that boi! But DON'T CONTINUE ON!! And guess what? They probably already know...they are just waiting to make their move. I lived in a town of 5 prisons. Every where I turned there was an officer...and when they saw me? I'd get pointed at, talked about...given DIRTY looks. I stood up for myself (like going out for Halloween dressed as an inmate with another i/m's name on the back (my future hubby! LOL!) Two officers even tried running me off the road. It's not pretty. They play dirty. If you've fallen for one of the guys, the job isn't for you!!!!!!!

It takes a special person to be there. And don't get me wrong...I don't think the mean, power trippin C/O's need to be there either...there's good ones there...that can be nice & still be 100% professional.

Good luck.
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  #23  
Old 11-01-2010, 08:12 AM
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He's being transferred to prison soon! I'm really excited about that, because that just means I'll get to see him soon! Now comes the hard part. I've got to quit the jail, which I've already got a job lined out, and get a place for him to parole to. He said EPA kicks in on December 1st so he may just be released without having the parole hearing and everything. I'm getting excited and nervous now! It's actually happening! I know you guys think I'm crazy for staying at the jail, and yea I do too, but I really had no other options at the time. My boss already knows some stuff about the relationship, and unbelievably didn't fire me. I told him I would be quitting soon, and he was upset, so I think he'll have my back if it comes down to it. Our little county jail isn't as strict as a state prison. If I get caught I'll get fired, not sent to jail. It's happened before at this jail, and even some cases worse than mine, and they weren't prosecuted. I am scared, but I don't think it will be quite as extreme as all of your stories. I probably sound really naive right now, but surprisingly I have a plan. Thank you for all of your support and encouragement to quit the jail. If it wasn't for yalls stories I probably wouldn't be quitting. It's like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders now that everything is falling into place. I'm going to meet his mom today to get a place lined out to stay in. I'm so excited!!!!
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Old 11-01-2010, 09:16 AM
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good luck Emily!!!!
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Old 11-01-2010, 09:01 PM
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Quote:
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He's being transferred to prison soon! I'm really excited about that, because that just means I'll get to see him soon! Now comes the hard part. I've got to quit the jail, which I've already got a job lined out, and get a place for him to parole to. He said EPA kicks in on December 1st so he may just be released without having the parole hearing and everything. I'm getting excited and nervous now! It's actually happening! I know you guys think I'm crazy for staying at the jail, and yea I do too, but I really had no other options at the time. My boss already knows some stuff about the relationship, and unbelievably didn't fire me. I told him I would be quitting soon, and he was upset, so I think he'll have my back if it comes down to it. Our little county jail isn't as strict as a state prison. If I get caught I'll get fired, not sent to jail. It's happened before at this jail, and even some cases worse than mine, and they weren't prosecuted. I am scared, but I don't think it will be quite as extreme as all of your stories. I probably sound really naive right now, but surprisingly I have a plan. Thank you for all of your support and encouragement to quit the jail. If it wasn't for yalls stories I probably wouldn't be quitting. It's like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders now that everything is falling into place. I'm going to meet his mom today to get a place lined out to stay in. I'm so excited!!!!
Thank God you are getting out of there. I know it's tough, but if you want your relationship to continue, you HAVE to get out of there! Good Girl! Good luck to you in your future endeavors! This is the best news I've heard all day! I was worried about you!
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