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Adult Children and Siblings of Inmates For Adult Children, brothers and sisters of prisoners

View Poll Results: Biggest obstacles your released sibling will face?
Employment 228 61.62%
Finding living accomodation 51 13.78%
Emotional- low self-worth, depression, dealing with crowds etc 114 30.81%
Reconnecting with family, friends 64 17.30%
Everyday routines-money management,making own decisions etc. 120 32.43%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 370. You may not vote on this poll

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  #26  
Old 06-12-2006, 11:53 AM
aliUK aliUK is offline
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I have a feeling my brother will face all of them. He was facing some of them before he went in. It's very difficult because he has never been in any trouble before and I hope he comes out of this for the better not the worse. I worry so much about him for when he comes out.
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  #27  
Old 06-12-2006, 01:42 PM
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I think realistically they all have to worry about most of those things. Some things are just harder for some then others. Like Sheila i think my brother would still be lured by drugs and the adrenalin rush they get from living on the fringe of society.
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  #28  
Old 06-14-2006, 01:56 AM
Hope2BaRn Hope2BaRn is offline
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I think re-socializing will be hard for my brotherafter 12 yrs. I think it would be hard for anyone. My other brother was in for 5 years and the day after he got out I took him to Target to get some socks, and he felt so uncomfertable being around all the people, and the different races intermingiling that he asked if it was okay if he went and waited in the car. He is no longer like this he slowly got used to being around alot of people, even went to college. But he hasn't stoped wearing shoes 24/7 !!
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  #29  
Old 06-14-2006, 09:22 AM
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Hope, no one has mentioned the race thing before but I imagine that is an adjustment, they are so seperated by race in prison and then they come out and wham they are expected to just accept everybody right away. Good point!
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  #30  
Old 06-17-2006, 12:05 PM
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As I read all of your statements, I cried. My son has been in for six years now. Has a release date of Nov.'07. He has a program he has to complete before he can get, yet, the unit he is in does not offer it. Go figure. I feel all of the items will be an obstacles for him. But I will support him 200%, no matter where or when. I love him, and guess what......so does God. Can't get better than that.
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  #31  
Old 06-17-2006, 01:02 PM
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jazadi- Welcome to PTO- so glad you found us! Your son sounds like he has a truly wonderful Mom ! With the support he will have when he comes home next year I am sure he will succeed in his life .
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  #32  
Old 06-17-2006, 01:53 PM
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jazadi- I agree with DLM, my mom is supporting my brother 200% as well. And I believe it is her support the same as yours for your son that will get him through the barriers he will have to cross. I admire all mothers who disregard disappointment or any other feelings they have and show support. My brother calls my mom his angel on his shoulders, maybe that's what you are to your son as well.
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  #33  
Old 06-29-2006, 09:13 PM
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I read all of your letters. They are all heartbreaking. The time my son has to spend incarcerated is minimal compared to all of your siblings. He has been the wonderful gift of staying in a Minimun security institution. He was recently transferred (Monday) from Millhaven. This was his first ever crime and he is 36 yrs old. I feel for each and everyone of you and hope that all will go well with your loved one.
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  #34  
Old 06-30-2006, 10:20 AM
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Thank you Plow and welcome to PTO.
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  #35  
Old 08-01-2006, 10:39 PM
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From past experience with my brother, Justin, I know the hardest thing for him is going to be staying away from his old friends. Our other brother still hangs with these people and I know that Justin is going to want to be with our brother and spend time with him, but that is why he ended up in prison again. Plus, he has no real sense of responsibility. So money and everyday things are going to be hard for him also.
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  #36  
Old 08-07-2006, 11:23 PM
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My brother's biggest obstacle will probably be realizing that his wife did not wait for him like he has been hoping. She started divorce proceedings right after he went in & he still to this day thinks that they are going to be together when he gets out in 15-30 years. He will not be able to return to the home that they shared together. Their kids will be grown & he will have missed all that. Hopefully our parents will still be alive when he gets out, but if they're not, then pretty much all he will have when he gets out is me, his baby sister.

I love him & I hate to think about what he will go thru when he gets out (he's an S.O. and in TX, things aren't real easy for them), but no matter what, he is my brother and I will do everything I can to help him when he gets released. He may have to parole to my address b/c I don't think he should go back to the small town where his crime was committed.

I get so sad thinking about this. I miss him so much!
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  #37  
Old 08-10-2006, 11:42 AM
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Lighthouse, welcome to PTO. I am sorry things have turned out this way for your brother. I know he must really appreciate you being there for him. Best of luck to you both
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  #38  
Old 08-16-2006, 08:08 PM
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I think it will be employment....
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  #39  
Old 08-18-2006, 05:38 PM
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The best thing for the sibling is to NOT have anything to do with those who do drugs but of course, I know how that is,easier said than done. My brother was down for almost 2 years and was released July 11, 2006 and it is very different to see them NOT on drugs and all the changes he went through. I can say he isn't the brother I once knew while on drugs. His biggest drug was "CRACK" and in which didn't do him any good but do his family wrong but you know, we have to look beyond what caused our siblings the wrong doings and give them a chance to make it up to us by caring, loving and helping them in every way we can help.They too, are only human. Since my brother has been out, he has been very edgy due to not having a job and being able to support himself and his loved ones. I have to remind him not to worry about us, worry about himself as he would be the one going back to prison IF he doesn't get employment, etc. He isn't one for following rules but if its to stay out of prison then he will do what it takes to do what is called for. Prison parole is like a recipe, IF you mess up with 1 major ingredient, you have to start all over again. He was released on a 1 yr parol, which is a very luck chance of anyone getting that... ha ha ha. Keep your head up high and everything will fall into place for the sibling if he follows the rules.

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  #40  
Old 08-23-2006, 12:17 PM
bsdavis79 bsdavis79 is offline
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I think the biggest problem my brother will have is staying away from the drugs and finding a good job. He is on a drug conviction, but if there is no way for him to find a good job and earn money, he most likely resort back to dealing, which will earn him a ticket right back in to statesville.
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  #41  
Old 09-23-2006, 09:56 AM
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DRUGS period should have been an option. The biggest problem my brother will face when he is released is STAYING OFF DRUGS! Crack cocaine is his demon.....pray for my family too!! I definately understand anyone whose family member is a drug addict!
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  #42  
Old 09-27-2006, 06:37 PM
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aztckgirl my brothers was on meth too and i know even now he would probably go to get some if he got out its really hard he has 6 flat years to think it over i pray for you and your brother ive had my own drug battles tho not meth just love him and never ever give up and good luck
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  #43  
Old 09-27-2006, 06:46 PM
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one more thing ill start a thread in a day or so iwant to share my stuff but very breifly here id like to say that over and over in and out of prison i saw exons get out and try to geta J-O-B!! self included everyone is down on recidivism sp? but nobody seems to adress this enogh or not the people who count there are not enough programs or vocational rehabilitation ideas at least i can speak for NC How about your states when is the last time you filled out an application that didnt ask if youre a convicted felony and now they are saying ever commit a crime ok ill shut up sore subject with me
my typing by the way is not a good thing to judge by i was willing to shovel crap and nobody would even trust me to do that and that was early in my crime career
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  #44  
Old 11-13-2006, 08:10 PM
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I didn't vote in the poll...because my brother has a place to live and a job still waiting for him when he gets out...he also knows how to handle his money pretty well too...I think his biggest obstacle will be STAYING CLEAN and completing rehab!! If he can do that...then he would lead a really good life!!
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  #45  
Old 11-16-2006, 04:52 PM
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well for my brother it will be our family. reconnecting. then i would say employment. my brother has been in prison since 93-94. out of 7 siblings including me i am the only who still connects with him . so many things have changed. the employment situation..a lot of people hold someones past against them and dont realize that people do change.
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  #46  
Old 12-12-2006, 02:40 AM
'moms'babygirl 'moms'babygirl is offline
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ya i think that my brother was able to relate to every one of those but i only voted for the ones that i recognized in him.
but i think the one that was tha hardest for him was staying off tha drugs because for some reason that had the biggest impact on him and seemed to ruin his life.....until now.
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  #47  
Old 02-12-2007, 07:17 PM
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Unhappy Emotional!

I THINK MY BROTHER MIGHT HAVE EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS...HE DIDNT GET TO SAY GOODBYE TO OUR POPS, I DONT KNOW WHOS BEEN WRITING HIM FOR THE PAST THREE YEARS...I HOPE HE'S OK, I DO MISS HIM EVEN THOUGH I'VE ONLY KNOWN HIM A SHORT WHILE...THERES JUST THAT BROTHERLY LOVE THAT I HAVE FOR HIM YOU KNOW?
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  #48  
Old 02-23-2007, 11:52 AM
kateer2005 kateer2005 is offline
i'm with you lil'bro :(
 

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i totaly think the same thing than you...
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  #49  
Old 02-23-2007, 11:53 AM
kateer2005 kateer2005 is offline
i'm with you lil'bro :(
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by kerbalee
I had a hard time choosing "just one", too. But, since I had to choose just one, I selected: Everyday routines-money management,making own decisions etc. I hope that my little brother has learned that there are consequences for the decisions that you make, whether they are good or bad. I know that we all make mistakes but I hope that he's learned from his and will stay away from the negative people that used to be in his life.

My Two Cents!!
i totally think the same thing than you...
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  #50  
Old 04-10-2007, 07:03 PM
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You know I think all of those things will be hard for my brother to deal with when he gets out! I am just going to do the hardest that I can to help him threw it all. He has been locked up for 7 years now and is turning 24 in Aug. and it's going to be alot different for him when he gets out. Cause he was still a kid when he got locked up and when he gets out he is going to be a adult and things are going to be so much different for him. But my brother is a VERY strong man and I know that he will be able to deal with it all! He will have his hole family to help him threw it and friends!
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