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Old 08-04-2017, 01:56 PM
infinityjay infinityjay is offline
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Default New to this. Confused and worried

Hello..I came across this site trying to search for information on how to juggle all the uncertainty that is having a loved one in prison. Recently, my father was sentenced to 22 years for a sexual offense with a minor. It has been an ongoing process trying to wrap my head around him being capable of such a thing. Growing up he was an excellent father, when I had children he became an excellent grandfather to my now 6 and 9 year old. Young enough to not fully understand but old enough to know he is gone and miss him. Trying to figure out how to cope with the added layer of helping my kids through their confusion/grief has been absolute hell.

Currently my children know that he has been sent to prison for breaking the law and that they will be adults before he is allowed to leave. They don't understand and are constantly asking me questions I don't have for sure answers to. Will they be able to talk to him? write him? visit him? For right now I told them we won't know any of the rules until he gets settled and moved. It breaks my heart.

Regardless of the answers, I'm still trying to figure out how I want to handle it. Part of me wishes I could just hate him and ban him from our lives. The other part focuses on the father that I know, love, and have always respected. It makes it hard to decide how to make decisions moving forward and my #1 priority is trying to get through this without screwing my kids up.

If anyone has been down a similar road before, I'd love to hear from you and how you handled it.
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