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Arizona Visitation, Phones, Packages & Mail Discussions Topics / Information relating to the Arizona Department of Corrections and local & county Jail visitation, phone calls, mail, inmate care packages, etc.

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  #26  
Old 10-13-2018, 01:28 PM
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Well aspc will in fact let me visit thankyou
Well, then they are complicit in your future beatings and soul-sucking. Remember that when he makes you feel horrible again.
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Old 10-13-2018, 02:04 PM
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Well aspc will in fact let me visit thankyou
I hope they don't I hope they realise the mistake and protect you , because someone needs to.
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  #28  
Old 10-13-2018, 05:33 PM
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If you came here expecting people to help you end up injured or dead, that’s not going to happen. Of course we’re happy to answer questions - if you could see him and I knew you could see him legally, I wouldn’t withhold that information from you.

But we’d be doing you an injustice by not giving you an outside perspective of the path you’re on. But at the end of the day...it’s your path. I wish you the best of luck.
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  #29  
Old 10-14-2018, 11:25 AM
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Default Parole to me

We had do in past nothing current my fiancé wants me to contact his c03 and parole board and ask how can he parole to me he wants me to be proactive he will be on probation when he gets out is it possible for him to live with me ?
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  #30  
Old 10-14-2018, 11:38 AM
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I've tried to keep up with your story. The last I heard there is a no contact order between you and you are a codefendant in his case. If I remember correctly you have also been denied visitation. With all of that it seems as if it will nearly impossible for him to be paroled to live with you.
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  #31  
Old 10-16-2018, 10:01 PM
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Doll, you have to decide how you feel about his beating you .. if you’re ok with it, don’t mind it and think it’s no big deal then by all means do whatever you can to see him, talk to him and somehow try to get him into your household. Just be aware that there will always be 3 things in your house .. you, him and the beatings. It’s never going to be just the 2 of you.
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  #32  
Old 12-25-2018, 02:19 AM
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I am driving myself crazy thinking about whether or not we can talk and see each other again I can reapply for calls and visits I've never been convicted but have codefendants with him on file

Another thing I'm wondering is if I can find d out who's writing him or if hes getting visits I want to trust him I just have a premonition

Someone please help
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Old 12-25-2018, 03:49 AM
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I've merged your new thread with your old one, Doll.

What happened after your post in October - you said you were granted visits after all? I am sorry but there really isn't much that anyone can tell you that hasn't been said before. You seem to be going around in circles and I can imagine it is driving you insane; have you tried speaking to a therapist yet? I hope for your own peace of mind that you'd somehow move on from this situation and relationship.

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  #34  
Old 12-25-2018, 10:20 AM
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I hate to say it, but the only people who can help you at this point are a therapist and a lawyer.

Good luck.
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  #35  
Old 12-25-2018, 10:31 AM
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Doll, you have kept yourself in this manic state for months and months now. All for a man who beats you and involves you in his crimes. You can't trust him to behave in any normal way, but you still want him.

This is the definition of dysfunction! You know he's not a good person, just by your history with him. You don't trust that he's not cheating on you even now, from prison.

What does it take for you to see that you need some new glasses when it comes to him? Where is the counseling that helps you see how this obsession with him is just that, an unhealthy obsession, and addiction? Counseling can help you understand why you accept this kind of behavior from anyone at all. Please try it!
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  #36  
Old 01-04-2019, 12:54 AM
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Default Curiously waiting

My fiance and i want to see and talk to eachother were in Az on the visitation 911 for aspc it says victims cant visit????? Hes not in prison for hitting me i have called the cops on him in the past for taking my car so they havnt dropped the dv charge quite yet does that mean i cant visit or does it mean if hes in prison for hitting me ?????????? Im very confused someone help and please ladies if you want to criticize and judge go read the bible please
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  #37  
Old 01-04-2019, 04:43 AM
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I don't know how Arizona approves visitor's lists, but submit an application and see what happens.
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Old 01-04-2019, 06:55 AM
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I thought you were denied visitation due to being a codefendant?
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  #39  
Old 01-04-2019, 07:03 AM
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In another thread you stated he has 2 prior convictions for DV against YOU.
You will not be allowed to visit.
At least not without doing the work. Classes, counseling etc. On both ends.
Even then I'd tend to doubt it.
So find out what you need to do, then do it.


It does not matter if the charges he is currently doing time for didnt include any DV, he has history.
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  #40  
Old 01-04-2019, 07:03 AM
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Thank you for your friendly invitation to support you...
But in this thread (at least) I thought you were given all the answers already?
But please keep us posted.
http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=714351
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  #41  
Old 01-04-2019, 07:43 AM
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As a previous domestic abuse victim I know how hard it is and no amount of being told will make you see it until you are ready to see it. I look back now and I am horrified by my behaviour but at the time I didn’t know what I was doing. I was under his control and I thought I loved him. The more he took from me the more I wanted him. I thought if I could just be sweeter, nicer, sexier, funnier.., he would see what a gem I was and love me the way I wanted to be loved. I actually thought I could cure him with my love! It was his ex's Fault wasn’t it? She cheated and was violent, she broke him!! WRONG!!

The things I put other people through who could see it and cared about me. My children were terrified and my best friend even gave up drinking completely because she thought one night he would try to kill me and she would need to get to me quickly, I put all those people in that place of fear and I kept seeing him. I lied to people m, even to the policeman who told me that if I continued I would end up in a body bag. I can see now that I was obsessed by him. I can remember my eldest daughter telling me I was a domestic abuse victim and I laughed. I said no! He just gets a bit angry, he is right I do push him to it. I cannot believe I ever felt that way.

In the end it was fact that I was destroying everyone around me that gave me the strength to stay away. I felt like my world was ending, for days the pain of losing him washed over me time and time again. Until eventually I realised that the person I felt I was losing wasn’t even real. He was a carefully constructed illusion designed to pull me back in every time he thought he was losing control of me. It took a long time to feel ok and even know I look back and wonder ‘could I have it wrong?’ But I know that is only because behaviour such as his is so out of what I consider ‘normal’ that my brain struggles to accept what I know is the truth.

The longer I stayed away the more I realised that I didn’t love him. He set up a need in me and then exploited it until I thought I couldn’t live without him. I was wrong and I can and do live without him VERY HAPPILY!! But I had to see it for myself. Good luck
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  #42  
Old 01-04-2019, 08:14 AM
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Doll86
Im not sure but would you do me a favor? Look at all your posts on PTO. Re read them.
since I dont know much about how AZ and visits work, I've not merged the few posts together (yet)
Just re read your posts.


The answers are not likely going to change if you dont either do the work (both of you) or realize this is a non starter. Im not trying to *judge* you. None of us are. We are trying to help you but you are not listening.
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  #43  
Old 01-04-2019, 12:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Doll86 View Post
I am driving myself crazy thinking about whether or not we can talk and see each other again I can reapply for calls and visits I've never been convicted but have codefendants with him on file

Another thing I'm wondering is if I can find d out who's writing him or if hes getting visits I want to trust him I just have a premonition

Someone please help
I haven't even read the entire thread as my eyes stuck here while scrolling-- you need to get help for this. Take him out of the equation for a moment. If you feel this way about anyone, it's not healthy. You called it correctly saying that you are doing this to yourself. Only you can make it better.

If, in fact, you two have a history of abuse between you, that especially rings true because you can't control whether the other person changes ans he's SHOWN you what his choice is. You have to decide what the best path for you is (and it's not stalking someone who's incarcerated even if you love him, but you'll learn why when you get to counseling). Come on hun, this is sinking in now, right? Stop the cycle before it gets worse.
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