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spiffy-heart · #1 05-11-2012, 11:24 PM

I Must tell you what my grandsons first, and only phone conversation with his "dada" was like, after daddy was jailed! My ex DIL refuses to let him talk with his three children, 14,12,4. He's always been THE involved daddy! So, this is really killing him!!

He got the oldest on the phone by chance, before the ex was home, so he had a nice talk with his daughter, and she gave the phone to the little one. (DIL found out, and later, blocked the calls from the jail. We've tried calling, me or his father, and doing a conference call, which worked once. This DIL is a witch!)

The little one says, very seriously..."Dada, do YOU KNOW WHERE you are!!??". Son says, "yes, I know where I am.". Then little one repeats..."Dada...do you REALLY know where you are???"

My son was laughing, because this was just SO cute! Son reminded him of the night before the last day of trial, when the kids were over for dinner, and before taking them home, we were playing in their bedroom. Little one tells me, "Grandma, pick up your feet, because there's alligators in the water!". Then runs to the door, pretends to lock it, and tells my son,"were locked in jail Dada, and there's alligators in the water, and we can't get out!". Then son said, "Are we the good guys are the bad guys?". To which the baby says, "Were the good guys Dada!"

So my boy reminded his little son of the game we had played that last night and told him, "Zachary, this is just like that game we were playing, and we got locked in jail...your Daddy is just one of the good guys that got locked up.". My grandson went on to ask him for how long will he be locked up....and when Dada gets out...how will he be able to know? Who will tell him Dada is out of jail?

It was so bitter sweet, hearing this story from my son. He continues to be my good son! I love him so much it hurts! He's been asked to teach a literacy class there in this Louisiana prison, and I sent him some used books from Amazon. He's sure been watched over by someone, because he's already a trustee, and doing a clerks job! When I saw him in the first facility, and word got around that I was ___'s mother, I had cops coming up to me, telling me they thought my son had been railroaded, and falsely accused.

They must not have had much influence with the judge, that's for sure!

Spiffy heart

Terihe · #2 05-12-2012, 10:05 AM

My son has the same problem with my ex dil too. Not only does she not want my grandson to know his daddy is in jail she lies to him about it and she will not let him see his Nana or any aunties, uncles and cousins on his daddys side of the family. She is a real you know what. I will have to go to court to get to see my grandson. I am sorry I did not mean to hi jack this thread but I am so depressed and devastated right now. I needed to vent. I will pray for your family and son.

bluebella · #3 05-12-2012, 10:30 AM

I think many can relate!! And Dr. Phil does not believe in parent alienation, UuGH. I was one of these children myself. It is not just the prisoners who have this problem and the children suffer the most. I have a GF who is about to be served with GP rights court papers. She use to take gchild to see my son, then when GF had some legal difficulty and before probation NOTHING!! I document and keep original of letters certified from myself and have taken pictures of text messages so they are on paper for court. This is not my first rodeo, just getting the filing fees together, and going to ask the court to have her pay them. It is a long shot in family court but sanctions for her denial are at least going to happen with the proof I have.

My heart goes out to all these babies, shame on the Mom's for not having their best intrest at heart!!!

1bird2 · #4 05-12-2012, 05:11 PM

WOW....I can't imagine mom's not allowing dad's to see their kids...but sadly, we hear so much of it.....
I hope you are able to fight if you need to!!! I hope your son can fight too. I know that you will keep them in touch with your son....one way or the other....and NEVER let it slide. It breaks my heart ... and makes my head explode when I hear of children being used as pawns.
I love to watch the daddies and kids at visitation....it is so heartwarming!!....and so much fun!! I am praying that you and your son can find a way to exercise your rights!!....and your grandbabies rights!!!
GRANDMAS ROCK!!!....I hope to be one some day, long into the future!!!
Much love and many prayers.....keep us posted!!!
XXOO

1bird2 · #5 05-12-2012, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluebella

i think many can relate!! And dr. Phil does not believe in parent alienation, uugh. I was one of these children myself. It is not just the prisoners who have this problem and the children suffer the most. I have a gf who is about to be served with gp rights court papers. She use to take gchild to see my son, then when gf had some legal difficulty and before probation nothing!! I document and keep original of letters certified from myself and have taken pictures of text messages so they are on paper for court. This is not my first rodeo, just getting the filing fees together, and going to ask the court to have her pay them. It is a long shot in family court but sanctions for her denial are at least going to happen with the proof i have.

My heart goes out to all these babies, shame on the mom's for not having their best intrest at heart!!!

rock on blue!!!!!

spiffy-heart · #6 05-12-2012, 10:00 PM

My son is in Louisiana, and I live on the gulf coast of Alabama, so it's a 9 hr drive. My ex, lives in his same town, and goes to the same church, tries to find out about all the g-kids activities so he can attend, etc. Hopefully get a brief talk, or just be able to look at them!

It's funny, but my hubby and I have been married for 39 yrs. and years ago, I said I really didn't know my ex, anymore, it had been so long! Well, the three of us, my sons step dad, my ex and myself, have bonded like glue supporting our boy! He's my only child!

I have read up on LA law re grandparents, and it seems we really don't have any rights! This DIL just made me take off my "help my son" FB pg, which legally, she couldn't, but when my son started getting lawyer letters and pressure, inside where he can't do a damned thing...I caved, because he asked me to. I had pics on this pg of him and kids, with his story, and she objected. It wasn't even a "public" FB pg....ah well.

Right now, the three of us parents are trying to help work his appeal. If THAT fails, I guess we work on making the best of it, keep him in commissary money, books and mail.

I send the g-kids cards, a little money and token gifts. I text them when I think DIL is still at work, and doesn't intercept. She keeps taking away the boys phone, and blocking the daughters from our calls. We play these stupid games, never knowing whether we've made contact with them or not!

He's not getting the amt of visits since they moved him to north, La. Mostly his dad. I'll tell you, my ex, his dad, Is doing a yeomans job! He meets with lawyers, keeps paying on the bills, did sons taxes, and paid them, goes to grands school, on and on! He even bought a web site to raise money for him! And get this, he's a retired minister...not wealthy! We are all old :-) senior citizens, step dad has stage-4 rare kidney ca and I may loose him any minute! Going through this w/out my son will be god-awful! Oh, and his dad is going blind, slowly. We're a real trio of old codgers, I'll tell YOU!

But...we love this son of ours, and know he's been railroaded! One of the innocent. And as long as we have breath, we will fight for him!

Spiffy heart

Terihe · #7 05-14-2012, 05:39 PM

This is so sad

Why, oh, why, oh why...! It is the children who are the ones they hurt, not the adults. I cannot understand how a mother could keep her children from being loved by their daddy's and others in their family because of their anger towards us. My son will have to exercise his rights as a parent. Can your son do that? The power of 3! I hope you all can get this worked out.

**sidewalker** · #8 05-15-2012, 07:35 AM

I hate it when anyone (mother, father etc.)use children as weapons.
its cruel and in my opinion, harmful.
I hope the dil changes her tune. Its all one can hope for as she holds all the *cards* now.

spiffy-heart · #9 05-16-2012, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluebella

I think many can relate!! And Dr. Phil does not believe in parent alienation, UuGH. I was one of these children myself.
My heart goes out to all these babies, shame on the Mom's for not having their best intrest at heart!!!

As my son goes through this living Hell, he keeps being surprised that OUR divorce was really a piece of cake compared to what his kids are going through! Bless him, he is so grateful to all his parents now, and tells us so. It's a shame he had to have this awful accusation against him, but it has surely brought us all together!

My 12tr old grandson sent his grandad a picture of the three of them in a tree, and made a point to say..."Be sure to send this to Dad!". We were all SO pleased!

Grandma spiffy heart

spiffy-heart · #10 05-16-2012, 09:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Terihe

This is so sad

Why, oh, why, oh why...! It is the children who are the ones they hurt, not the adults. I cannot understand how a mother could keep her children from being loved by their daddy's and others in their family because of their anger towards us. My son will have to exercise his rights as a parent. Can your son do that? The power of 3! I hope you all can get this worked out.

He's been a terrific Dad! We just gotta get him out of prison first! Working on appeal. Knowing there are few appeals granted!