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View Poll Results: Would you take his last name once married ?
Dont have to ask me twice.....wheres the closest DMV ! 1,581 77.58%
Maybe if he really pushes it.... 30 1.47%
hypnate it, keep mines and add his.... 264 12.95%
I might once he gets out...... 98 4.81%
Probably not ........... 65 3.19%
Voters: 2038. You may not vote on this poll

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  #676  
Old 02-20-2014, 11:08 PM
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He proposed to me the day before he went away, and should only be away for 2.5-3 years, so there's no rush to get married while he's in. He still wants me to have the ceremony and everything else that I want on the outside. As for the name... I'm worried. Would his felony status affect me if I take his last name? I don't feel 100% connected to him if I have to separate the legal part of my life.
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  #677  
Old 02-21-2014, 07:37 PM
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I took his name with NO hesitation!
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  #678  
Old 02-22-2014, 01:26 AM
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Originally Posted by Snowbaby62 View Post
No question about it, I would absolutely take his last name. He already refers to me with his last name, because we are already married in our hearts.

offenderlover

I know exactly what you mean that is the way we are , he even addresses my letters to me in his last name . LOL I always wonder what the postal carrier thinks. Something like wow I wonder how many names does this woman have .
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  #679  
Old 03-20-2014, 07:28 PM
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My man already calls me his wife. U see i never thought I'd ever want 2 marry again. I'm widowed after 20 yrs & was single for 5 before Jeff came into my life. I will lose all my benefits from my first husband if i marry legally. He knows i luv him with all my soul & understands this so we have decided that i will just take his name & use it on everything but legal documents. Ppl may believe its crazy but in our eyes we r partners for life.
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  #680  
Old 05-25-2014, 08:22 AM
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We just got married and I did indeed take his name and was happy to do so. I wouldn't have it any other way and this will be my name to the grave!
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  #681  
Old 06-09-2014, 02:44 PM
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I am definitely taking his name and will be proud to do it and I can't wait xx
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  #682  
Old 06-11-2014, 04:45 PM
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ABSOLUTELY!! I love that man more then anything! I have found my true love!
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  #683  
Old 06-25-2014, 07:02 AM
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I did when I got married. Its not required or mandatory its preference.
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  #684  
Old 06-26-2014, 04:00 AM
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Yup sure did. He was absconding from a different County and we heard that if we were married he has to be paroled to where I was..we were going to get married anyways..this just happened really fast and at City Hall..lol...
I would do anything for that man. missing so much
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  #685  
Old 07-31-2014, 11:53 AM
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I went through an ugly separation when my guy and I were still just friends. I wanted to get rid of that other name so badly that one day I was bouncing ideas off of him and he said "How about Mylastname?" and then tried to play it off like he was kidding. I really liked the way it sounded, so I said that I would. Fast forward two years...we're engaged and I cannot wait to be the legit Mrs. Mylastname. ❤
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  #686  
Old 08-02-2014, 05:18 PM
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Smile I Totally Agree.....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Luann View Post
I would take his name quicker then fast. We already refer to each other as Husband and wife. I can't wait until its really official. I Love him so much!!!
I Loved Your Comments.It Reminded Me Of My Soon To Be Hubby.We Haven't Tied The Knot Yet.However, He Already Address Me As His Wife.When I Received Letters/Cards From Him;My Face Lights Up.I Tell Others Its An Honor To Drop My Last Name;Only To Wear His Name Proudly.
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  #687  
Old 08-31-2014, 11:07 AM
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I will definitely take his name in 2016 when the big day happens:0)
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  #688  
Old 10-04-2014, 12:39 PM
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Question Already use his name..

See we aren't legally married but in oyr eyes we are. We belong to one another. I would do anything to have it legal & so would he but I have a bit of an income problem. If i marry again my income will decrease & then im not to young at 50 my income incearses. I was married before for 20 yrs & had 3 beautiful girls during that time. He passed away in 2008 from a drug over dose. I get money from my deceased husbands death benefits. When my man asked to marry him i cried & explained my situation & assured him id give anything to do that just. i explained to him i was married to him while he paid all that money & some of u might think i'm wrong for saying that. So we know if the situation going to change Im his wife & he is my husbsnd. I use his name on everything except legal papers r f documents. So thats my story. Sometimes i feel as if maybe im being selfish by not doing having a real marriage. Ibwoyldn't want him to think i for some reason didn't want legal. I would do anything to mske him happy. Am i crazy??
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  #689  
Old 10-04-2014, 12:46 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hisgurl2012 View Post
See we aren't legally married but in oyr eyes we are. We belong to one another. I would do anything to have it legal & so would he but I have a bit of an income problem. If i marry again my income will decrease & then im not to young at 50 my income incearses. I was married before for 20 yrs & had 3 beautiful girls during that time. He passed away in 2008 from a drug over dose. I get money from my deceased husbands death benefits. When my man asked to marry him i cried & explained my situation & assured him id give anything to do that just. i explained to him i was married to him while he paid all that money & some of u might think i'm wrong for saying that. So we know if the situation going to change Im his wife & he is my husbsnd. I use his name on everything except legal papers r f documents. So thats my story. Sometimes i feel as if maybe im being selfish by not doing having a real marriage. Ibwoyldn't want him to think i for some reason didn't want legal. I would do anything to mske him happy. Am i crazy??
No, you are NOT crazy. You are doing what you have to do to get by.
I mean, sure it might be nice to be officially married but in the end you are the one who has to pay your bills.
And if he wouldn't understand that, he'd be the selfish one.
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  #690  
Old 12-06-2014, 08:04 PM
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Don't think it will be in the cards for us, but if it is, then, yes, I would take his last name.
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  #691  
Old 12-17-2014, 06:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hisgurl2012 View Post
See we aren't legally married but in oyr eyes we are. We belong to one another. I would do anything to have it legal & so would he but I have a bit of an income problem. If i marry again my income will decrease & then im not to young at 50 my income incearses. I was married before for 20 yrs & had 3 beautiful girls during that time. He passed away in 2008 from a drug over dose. I get money from my deceased husbands death benefits. When my man asked to marry him i cried & explained my situation & assured him id give anything to do that just. i explained to him i was married to him while he paid all that money & some of u might think i'm wrong for saying that. So we know if the situation going to change Im his wife & he is my husbsnd. I use his name on everything except legal papers r f documents. So thats my story. Sometimes i feel as if maybe im being selfish by not doing having a real marriage. Ibwoyldn't want him to think i for some reason didn't want legal. I would do anything to mske him happy. Am i crazy??
You are NOT crazy.I love my man with all my heart but to marry him would mean financial concerns and I hesitate.It isn't that I don't love him and it hurt my heart to see his face fall when I said I wouldn't marry him. I did explain and while he understands, I do think some people believe two people who love each other should marry,end of story. There are also bills to pay to pay.I pray God understands
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  #692  
Old 12-17-2014, 09:04 AM
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absolutely
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  #693  
Old 01-13-2015, 02:50 PM
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As soon as I get the certificate in hand rather hes in jail or not I would go and start the process of changing my name. I am the last member of my family with my last name and the era will end with me but I would beginning a new era with my husband. My husband will be officially adopting my son from a previous relationship so he will also have his name because hes father is a deadbeat and my hubby family takes care of my child any way ....


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Originally Posted by itzmydestiny View Post
We got our marriage certificat today And as quick as the sun rises tomorrow, I'm off to make it that name change happen
I was told to wait 2-3 weeks after our ceremony to call and see if the certificate was ready, that was the funniest thing I ever heard Me wait ! I tried, although being married to an inmate you would think I have mastered the whole patience thing. Which for the most part, I have, but I still get pretty jumpy about things. Anyways we got married Saturday December 11th and no later than that following Wednesday I was on the phone to Solano, asking whats up To my surprise she said she had it, all I ad to do was come pick it up. Well to say the least, since I was unable to drive to go get it, I overnighted my money and got it Today.First thing tomorrow I'm off it REALLY make it official. Yes ladies, I'm doing the name change thing and loving it. I cant wait to officically be called.Mrs.Evans ( loves the sound of that ) So heres my question : Would you take his last name or keeps yours, if so when would you do it, now or when he comes home and if not, if you dont mind my asking why not?

Still jumping for joy Does it ever stop??????????
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  #694  
Old 01-14-2015, 07:57 PM
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Originally Posted by jailwifey2011 View Post
As soon as I get the certificate in hand rather hes in jail or not I would go and start the process of changing my name. I am the last member of my family with my last name and the era will end with me but I would beginning a new era with my husband. My husband will be officially adopting my son from a previous relationship so he will also have his name because hes father is a deadbeat and my hubby family takes care of my child any way ....
I would take his last name in a minute, I love him so much!
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  #695  
Old 02-11-2015, 02:18 PM
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I legally had my name changed since we are having issues about getting married in the prison system.. took a full day in court , the SS office and the DMV..
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  #696  
Old 02-11-2015, 06:36 PM
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Id have no problem taking his last name. I may do the hyphenation but i really doubt i would.
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  #697  
Old 02-18-2015, 03:57 PM
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Originally Posted by Bookworm1 View Post
I will NOT be taking Steven's last name when we get married. This is a tradition rooted in sexism, and based on the premise that women are the "property" of their husbands. I find it very demeaning. My last name is an important part of my identity and my heritage, and I am proud of it!

Steven and I have discussed this, and he has no problem with me keeping my own last name. He knows that I have strong feminist views, and he respects that. He is secure within his manhood, and does not feel threatened by an independent woman.

Once I explained to him where the tradition originates from and the meaning behind it, he understood where I was coming from. He also said that he thinks my last name is "unique" and "pretty" and that in his opinion men who insist that their wife take on their last name are being posessive and controlling(his words, not mine!). He thinks it should be the woman's choice, and that it would be wrong for the man to pressure her into doing something that made her feel demeaned. God I LOVE HIM! I will be very proud to call him my husband. NO ONE that knows Steven and I well, would question my love or commitment to him. I will stand by him, even in the event that he never leaves prison. If that ain't commitment, I don't know WHAT IS!

I also take issue with other wedding "traditions" such as the bride wearing white as a symbol of her "purity"(no one cares whether or not the groom is a virgin!) or the "giving away" of the bride. I am a human being, NOT a posession. Needless to say, our wedding celebration and our marriage is going to be VERY untraditional!

As a sidenote I am from Canada, and in one province(Quebec) women actually do not have the option of taking on their husband's last name when they decide to tie the knot. And in Sweeden, the "giving away" of the bride has been banned. I honestly feel that these practices have no place in an egalitarian society, although I would not impose that opinion on other's who felt differently.

Lisa
Huh, I'm Swedish and I had no idea it had been banned here. But I remember the first time I saw the "giving away" of a bride in an American movie I thought it was very strange. I don't want anyone "giving me away" because I feel that I am a grown woman who has chosen this for myself and walking down the aisle towards my future husband on my own is a symbol of my independence. And it's more focus on me . I also disagree with the tradition of wearing a veil. It was usually to hide the bride's face so the groom wouldn't know how she looked until they were married so he couldn't run if she was ugly. However I do love the romantic look of a veil so I will be wearing one, just not covering my face. I also love the white dress for the prettiness of it. And I will take his surname, not because he owns me, but because I like the thought of us being a team and our future children to have the same names as both of us. We will be the C....'s.
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  #698  
Old 03-02-2015, 02:03 PM
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I took his name, happily, for my own pleasure, because I love being associated with him. I love being a family with him, and this is a clear, symbolic way for us to do it.

I completely understand the views contrary to the tradition of the female changing her name. I would be hesitant to make a statement or assumption that women who change their name upon marriage are not feminist or strong or self-willed by that fact. Perhaps there's no right or wrong in this, no moral judgment to assert?

My first marriage I did not want to change my name. I told him before the wedding, and afterward he insisted. I caved, and still remember the dread and sadness I had going to the DMV to change my name on my license. Definitely a flag among many that things were not right there.

In my marriage with my LO, he is inaccessible to me in so many practical ways; I love being associated with him in any way possible. This is a special way to do that. Can't imagine marrying him and not changing my name.
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  #699  
Old 03-02-2015, 02:43 PM
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My husband and I have been married for a year and two months. I haven't changed my name yet , but I will when he gets out, if not a month before.
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Old 03-18-2015, 01:14 PM
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i would want to keep my name. of course, i would want his too.. yes! hyphenate!!
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