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Raising Children with Parents in Prison For the Parent left behind with children AND for the Children that have a parent inside. Discussion of unique challenges facing this group!

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  #1  
Old 09-06-2008, 12:24 AM
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Default any of you raising step kids ??? helping take care of his kids???

i adore his kids ... love them lyk my own .. treat them like my own ... there not biologically mine but they are mine in my heart ok soo he has three kids on the outside and i've been doing the stepmommy thing with the two closest to me and the other is usually with her real mom .. soo i take them school clothes shopping ... to the mall/movies... to the YMCA ...ETC ... just curious if any of you are helping take care of HIS KIDS or are taking care of HIS KIDS while he's down???
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Old 09-08-2008, 11:13 PM
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Well I Consider His Son My Son At Heart, He Is 6 And We Have A Five Year Old Together. They Call Each Other Brothers, And They Get Along Great, I Dont Actually Get To See Him All Tht Much Cause Helives In Colorado Wit His Mom And Step Dad, But I Do Talk To Him All The Tme And They Send Pics, I Get Along Great With His Ex, Which Is Cool.i Think Me And Her Talk More Then Him And Her Talk Lol She Knows That I Would Never Try To Replace Her, And She Respects That, Which I Never Would Do That, But He Calls Us Both Mom....
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Old 10-09-2009, 01:05 PM
dre'swife dre'swife is offline
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Default Stepmom of my husband's 14-year old

I've got my husband's 14 year old son living with me. The son is a ward of the juvenile court due to previous behaviors/crimes, and the mom had kept him away from his dad for a long time. Finally the courts figured it out and in June of this year granted my husband sole legal & physical custody. 2 months later, my husband went to jail & now he's looking at 1-2 years in prison. My stepson is living with me, but his mom is trying to get him back. Fortunately since he's a ward of the court, the probation officer has the most say in the situation, and he wants him to stay with me. But his mom is crazy, manipulative, and doesn't care about his best interests. I'm fighting to keep him, and you would think that legally I would have some rights to him since I'm married to his dad. But my name isn't on any of the family court or juvenile court paperwork, so I'm running into obstacles.

My stepson is doing a lot better behaviorally, and in school, since he's lived with us (and now just me), and I want to keep him because if he goes back with his mom he will fall apart, get kicked out of school again, and probably end up in jail. It's been really hard, tiring, & emotionally draining becoming an instant mom of a 14-year old boy who's a ward of the court, on probation, anger problems, school problems. His behavior is totally fine in my house cause he knows I don't play! and I have high expectations of him. I've known him since he was 8 but it's a lot different now that he's a teenager.

Any advice or support would be greatly appreciated!!!
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Old 10-14-2009, 12:55 PM
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Stand your grounds. These kids/teenagers only do what you allow them to do. Demand your respect and you will get it. I'm speaking from experience.
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Old 11-04-2009, 01:03 PM
bren2077 bren2077 is offline
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Yes, doing the stepmom thing. I have three of my own and he has three. Our kids have grown up together (11, 10, 8, 11, 8, 3) and I get his kids as much as possible. However, his 8 year old daughter is having a very hard time right now and is clinging to her mom who is living in a lesbian relationship with the woman she left him for. He left her for me so it is very awkward, too, because she and I have known each other for twenty years.

However, he won't talk to his ex, so I have to especially to arrange for the kids. I will do it because it is important to me that they know what a loving, heterosexual relationship is as they grow up. Truthfully, it sometimes feels like we adults are just f*cking up all the kids lives, though. Still, I am trying. Just me and six kids two to four days a week. Plus, his son loves to stay at our home and since he is almost 12, his parents are considering allowing him to live with me full-time. Which is fine by me because at his mothers house there are only girls, girls, girls. At least at our home I have my son. What a crazy life.
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