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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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Old 12-12-2013, 12:04 PM
sweety1234 sweety1234 is offline
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Default Mixed feelings about reconnecting with ex

My ex guy friend went to prison like 10 years ago. I have not spoken to him or even seen him in over 15 years. We had a real bad break up. Well long story short, he has been writting me saying he wants to be a family. He has up to 10 more years to go. I have mixed feeling because I will always love him. He was my 1st lover. My 1st everything. Do you think people can change in jail or am I just being dumb for believing him???
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Old 12-12-2013, 12:20 PM
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I think people can change, but very rarely they really do. If you feel that you would regret not finding out, why rush? Get to know each other as friends, don't rush into a relationship or being a family. You know yourself can you go through what he put you through the last time. If the answer is no, don't let him be part of your life, because chances are that he will put you through it again.
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Old 12-12-2013, 12:32 PM
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I've moved your thread here as you are talking about someone you used to be with.

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Originally Posted by sweety1234 View Post
My ex guy friend went to prison like 10 years ago. I have not spoken to him or even seen him in over 15 years. We had a real bad break up. Well long story short, he has been writting me saying he wants to be a family. He has up to 10 more years to go. I have mixed feeling because I will always love him. He was my 1st lover. My 1st everything. Do you think people can change in jail or am I just being dumb for believing him???
People can change and in most environments even but the truth is that when a guy in prison contacts someone from the past he's usually desperately reaching out to find someone to take care of him (financially, emotionally, both etc) throughout the bid. I wouldn't romanticize it if I were you. I'm just sayin'
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Old 12-12-2013, 02:45 PM
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Just because some is your first love, doesn’t make them your best love. I would not get involved and look for someone on the outside.
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Old 12-12-2013, 05:15 PM
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Don't do it! You broke up for good reasons, you've stay out of contact for good reasons, and pretty words from a guy with a 25-year bid really shouldn't change it.
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Old 12-12-2013, 05:56 PM
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You haven't spoken to him in 15 years and all of a sudden he wants to be a family? That was my first thought. I would tread lightly for a few different reasons.
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Old 12-12-2013, 07:24 PM
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Prison is the LAST place i'd believe a man's words of "change". Also,he's not being very realistic. You broke up ten yrs ago,it was a bad breakup (your words),and now he's in jail for a very long time saying he wants to be a family. God blesses every person with common sense. Whether they use it is up to them.
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Old 12-13-2013, 10:00 AM
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He's your ex for a reason isn't he? Think long and hard about why you broke up and if you feel like going through that all over again but with him incarcerated for 10 years. Think, really think about that.
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Old 12-16-2013, 04:30 PM
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You came to the right place to get an education about prison relationships. If you do decide to make him any part of your life, read though a bunch of these posts, on the entire website, to see what you are getting into.
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