Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > U.S. REGIONAL FORUMS > ARKANSAS > Arkansas General Prison Talk, Introductions and Chit Chat
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Arkansas General Prison Talk, Introductions and Chit Chat Topics & Discussions relating to Prison & the Criminal Justice System in Arkansas that do not fit into any other Arkansas subforum. Please feel free to also introduce yourself to other members in the state and talk about whatever topics come to mind in addition to prison.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 12-16-2007, 09:25 PM
jessicad05's Avatar
jessicad05 jessicad05 is offline
Cowboy's Girl
 

Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: arkansas
Posts: 16
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Default Am I alone in thinking I can't have any fun without him?

Just wondering if i was the only one who felt that i couldn't have any fun without him?
__________________


Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 12-17-2007, 07:55 PM
nickslove2 nickslove2 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Missouri, USA
Posts: 72
Thanks: 0
Thanked 4 Times in 3 Posts
Default Not alone

Nope, you're not alone on this. I think it is because we did everything together. There never was a dull moment around the house. Now everyday seems the same. I still go do somethings, but it's just not the same.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 12-18-2007, 08:31 PM
pearl_rose1986's Avatar
pearl_rose1986 pearl_rose1986 is offline
Mark 10:6-9; Ruth 1:16-17
 

Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: me: OK/ him: AR
Posts: 152
Thanks: 0
Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
Unhappy Def Not Alone!!!

You are most certainly not alone in your feelings. It seems like every fun thing involved him. I can't even go to the movies, hang out with our friends, or even enjoy our company's Christmas party without him. I mean I've been so excited to go see some new movies, but I never thought that I wouldn't want to see them without him. I went to a movie with some of our friends a few weeks ago and just couldn't "get into it" because he wasn't there. Not to mention that when I walk around my college campus and I see all the couples holding each other and smiling, it really makes me miss him something terrible.


Quote:
Originally Posted by jessicad05
Just wondering if i was the only one who felt that i couldn't have any fun without him?
__________________
SUGE'S WIFE
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 12-20-2007, 02:55 PM
Amy98ta Amy98ta is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Arkansas, US
Posts: 218
Thanks: 6
Thanked 22 Times in 11 Posts
Default

I'm in the same boat. I almost feel like my life is on pause waiting for him to come back. The only thing that really helps is being around his family. They remind me so much of him I almost think he's there. Then I realize he's not.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 12-31-2017, 05:14 AM
dalefan13ford dalefan13ford is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Arkansas U.S.
Posts: 1
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

My son went to jail in March 2012 and the to prison in the fall of 2014. I basically quit life. I didn't see the joy in anything. I haven't celebrated a single holiday, birthday, Christmas since. The guilty feelings consume me at times but now that it has been 5 yrs and I see that he is ok and going to make it I finally feel that I can relax and breathe a little. They say 'time heals all wounds' didn't have a loved one serving time. Take your time to learn to grieve, and the guilty feelings will eventually fade a little. So far mine are still active and fully awake but my family and friends don't push me to do things and activities that I don't want to do. Take your time and remember how good it felt to do the things y'all loved. Ease into them and go from there. Your can also Google Prison Grief and read up on it. Prayers and best of luck
It
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to dalefan13ford For This Useful Post:
nimuay (12-31-2017)
  #6  
Old 12-31-2017, 06:03 AM
nygirl17 nygirl17 is online now
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2016
Location: Michigan
Posts: 3,047
Thanks: 109
Thanked 1,815 Times in 1,154 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by dalefan13ford View Post
My son went to jail in March 2012 and the to prison in the fall of 2014. I basically quit life. I didn't see the joy in anything. I haven't celebrated a single holiday, birthday, Christmas since. The guilty feelings consume me at times but now that it has been 5 yrs and I see that he is ok and going to make it I finally feel that I can relax and breathe a little. They say 'time heals all wounds' didn't have a loved one serving time. Take your time to learn to grieve, and the guilty feelings will eventually fade a little. So far mine are still active and fully awake but my family and friends don't push me to do things and activities that I don't want to do. Take your time and remember how good it felt to do the things y'all loved. Ease into them and go from there. Your can also Google Prison Grief and read up on it. Prayers and best of luck
It
I feel the exact same way. I'm grieving at the loss of my husbands presence in my life. It's been 29 months and I'm still learning to deal with it. Ill probably never be ok until he's back home. I don't go anywhere and when I'm invited I make excuses why I can't go because I really don't want to go anywhere. I have anxiety issues and I also have social anxiety. My husband is just the opposite he is a social butterfly. I work eat and sleep. By choice
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 12-31-2017, 06:29 AM
Kirin's Avatar
Kirin Kirin is offline
Coopers disciple
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Germany
Posts: 192
Thanks: 7
Thanked 61 Times in 46 Posts
Default

When I try to have fun, it's always bittersweet at best, it makes me sad he's not there.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 12-31-2017, 07:52 AM
MizzyMuffling's Avatar
MizzyMuffling MizzyMuffling is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: NC & Germany
Posts: 2,123
Thanks: 2,059
Thanked 2,291 Times in 1,095 Posts
Default

Probably not alone thinking this way but I've never thought that way whatsoever. It's MY life and I can do what I want to (except I won't cheat on him) and I'm not flipping put my life on hold because of HIS life - what he chose or what happened to him. I didn't make him go to prison so I'm enjoying my life to the fullest and include him as much as I can.
__________________
Follow your heart but take your brain with you...
Reply With Quote
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to MizzyMuffling For This Useful Post:
buglife (01-13-2018), DsLatinQueen67 (Yesterday), JustBeingMe67 (12-31-2017), Marseille (01-01-2018), MrsDeeKay (12-31-2017), nimuay (12-31-2017), Sarianna (12-31-2017)
  #9  
Old 12-31-2017, 08:03 AM
JustBeingMe67's Avatar
JustBeingMe67 JustBeingMe67 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Oregon
Posts: 5,367
Thanks: 860
Thanked 1,815 Times in 879 Posts
Default

Yes, I have fun without him. I know he would be having fun if the tables were turned. Just because they are locked up does not mean WE have to stop living our lives. I include him in the things I do, as much as I can.

I wouldn't want to live with this mindset...talk about depressing!
__________________
Be Real, Be You
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to JustBeingMe67 For This Useful Post:
BearsLadyBear (01-01-2018), Marseille (01-01-2018), MizzyMuffling (12-31-2017), Sarianna (12-31-2017), xolady (01-17-2018)
  #10  
Old 12-31-2017, 08:08 AM
nimuay's Avatar
nimuay nimuay is offline
Super Moderator

PTO Super Moderator Pumpkin Hunt Participant 2014 Easter Egg Hunt 2013 - Participant 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: new york
Posts: 23,631
Thanks: 5,867
Thanked 28,095 Times in 10,227 Posts
Default

Never did that! I have a life and I plan to keep on living it and to collect the joys that are on offer in it, so I can keep a good attitude and be a blessing to those around me.
__________________
You'll know you've created God in your own image when He hates all the people you do.
Reply With Quote
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to nimuay For This Useful Post:
DsLatinQueen67 (Yesterday), Marseille (01-01-2018), MizzyMuffling (12-31-2017), Sarianna (12-31-2017), xolady (01-17-2018)
  #11  
Old 01-01-2018, 10:12 AM
John M's Avatar
John M John M is online now
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: AR USA
Posts: 276
Thanks: 210
Thanked 167 Times in 101 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by jessicad05 View Post
Just wondering if i was the only one who felt that i couldn't have any fun without him?
I met my LO about 9 months before he was taken. We were on "the road" to making a life together and, eventually, marry. I can't say we had a lot of special things that I miss doing without him. However, I remember going to a local store and seeing the Mardi Gras decorations (he's from Louisiana) and literally breaking down in tears.

The thing I've started doing is keeping a list of all the things, I think we would enjoy doing together, when he comes home! I call it our "Wish List!" I've asked him to start a similar list and those things we both have, on our lists, will be the special ones we do first!! I guess I have started thinking less about the past, we've lost, and focusing on our future when he's back. Thinking things like "I bet that's something we'd love doing together! I need to put that on my list!"

Don't know if that helps anyone? It has definitely shifted my focus to not "look back" and be ready for the day we can finally put the separation behind us.
We still have 14 years left but, as my grandmother would say, "There's no point dwelling in the past. You can't change it. Always look ahead and work to make things the way you want them to be!"
__________________
Don't ask God to give you an easier life...ask Him to make you a stronger person!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to John M For This Useful Post:
BearsLadyBear (01-01-2018)
  #12  
Old 01-12-2018, 11:31 PM
CCsQueen CCsQueen is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Hot Springs, Arkansas, USA
Posts: 31
Thanks: 4
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
Default

I don't think anyone can understand better than me. I don't do anything at all without my husband. When he was home, we were attached at the hip, so this whole thing has been exceptionally rough for us. We haven't touched or seen each other since April 18th of 2017.

And let me tell you, I cry every single day of my life without him. All we are allowed right now are letters and email, and we can have glass petitioned visits starting back in May, but unless he's granted parole in April,l I will likely never touch my husband ever again as he has made it clear that there's nothing anyone can do or say to convince him not to take his life. He wrote me the other day informing me that he signed a DNR. I am a wreck. The only thing getting me through this at all is my kids and God, otherwise I would be on the streets just feeling sorry for myself everyday and wishing he had just let me die.

I know in my heart God is going to answer our prayers though so I'm honestly not worried! I just look forward to the day I see him again. Either it'll be in May or it'll be in in the afterlife.

Last edited by CCsQueen; 01-12-2018 at 11:33 PM..
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to CCsQueen For This Useful Post:
Itshardtowait (01-13-2018)
  #13  
Old 01-13-2018, 03:54 AM
Itshardtowait Itshardtowait is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: Idaho-USA
Posts: 14
Thanks: 34
Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
Default Not living

My son is in prison, I have not left my house since Dec 23rd, I just can't make myself do anything, I can not cook or eat any of his favorites, I prefer just to be left alone by myself so I can pray he stays safe and doesn't get hurt, he is in Federal 2,000 miles away, hopefully in time I will be able to get on with my life, just not yet, I think my family is getting tired of going to the grocery store for me but they are good about it
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 01-13-2018, 06:30 AM
Sarianna's Avatar
Sarianna Sarianna is offline
Midnight Sun Moderator

PTO Site Moderator 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Swinging from the chandelier
Posts: 1,569
Thanks: 7,082
Thanked 1,709 Times in 852 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Itshardtowait View Post
My son is in prison, I have not left my house since Dec 23rd, I just can't make myself do anything, I can not cook or eat any of his favorites, I prefer just to be left alone by myself so I can pray he stays safe and doesn't get hurt, he is in Federal 2,000 miles away, hopefully in time I will be able to get on with my life, just not yet, I think my family is getting tired of going to the grocery store for me but they are good about it
Sending you strength! Of course it is natural after recent trauma to take the time you need to heal from it (hopefully also seeking therapy if you feel unable to cope on your own and with the support of your family). We are all different and require different lengths of time to come to terms with these losses in our lives; no use of being too hard on yourself, take the time you need. I am sure with the love and support from your family there will be a day when you will start gaining your strength and will see that you can continue to pray for your son while also starting to live your own life alongside of those prayers
__________________
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Sarianna For This Useful Post:
Itshardtowait (01-13-2018)
  #15  
Old 01-17-2018, 05:14 PM
Here4mylove Here4mylove is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Arkansas USA
Posts: 18
Thanks: 32
Thanked 3 Times in 3 Posts
Default

I feel the same, I'm so lonely! We spent so much time together & when it was just him & me, it was amazing! He's my best friend! My partner & soulmate! I do try & talk to friends, & I haven't actually hung out with them yet but have plans to... So I think if I just get out from time to time & chill with some friends I'll feel better... Although, it won't be the same. I think its important to find ourselves as our men are doing time and find a way to be happy with ourselves & with other friends. ... They wouldn't want us to be unhappy now, would they? I know mine wouldn't! So find a hobby, or a craft & enjoy yourselves! For example, I'm an artist and paint & draw, I love it! I do commission work, paintings for other people and what they like... Its quite fun & helpful with fulfilling my time!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Here4mylove For This Useful Post:
Sarianna (Yesterday)
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
"Don't Judge?" Hmmmm Brian Rooney PTO Lounge 31 04-02-2007 07:03 PM
"Rehabilitation" Programs? hmmmm Brian Rooney General Prison Talk 9 12-23-2006 08:19 AM
things that make ya go hmmmm big mama 69 Met While Incarcerated 47 11-29-2006 11:44 AM
Things that make you go HMMMM.... JR'SLILMOMMA Game Room 129 10-30-2005 08:54 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:38 PM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics