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Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

View Poll Results: Does he ask for too much money?
No, not at all 351 58.89%
Sometime he does 165 27.68%
Way to much money 55 9.23%
He sends money instead 40 6.71%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 596. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 05-09-2011, 11:33 AM
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Question Does he ask for too much money, for unneeded things??

Does your man, ask for money for unneeded things.
I was just listening to a friend, and how her man has asked for a lot of things. He wants new shoes, and he just went in 3 months ago. He wants monies for a TV, PlayStation, Shorts, new sweats.
He also calls everyday, more then once. She sends money for him to be able to write, and get snacks, and hygiene items.
When do you draw the line?
He knows she is taking care of the kids, household as well.
Does your man ask for too much?
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Old 05-09-2011, 11:49 AM
Larrymorales Larrymorales is offline
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My husband doesn't ask me for money ...I just send him what i can...
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Old 07-12-2013, 03:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Larrymorales View Post
My husband doesn't ask me for money ...I just send him what i can...
Same. The only thing he really asks for is for me to buy phonetime. He can't do it himself.
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Old 04-28-2017, 09:32 AM
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I've never been asked to send money either.

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My husband doesn't ask me for money ...I just send him what i can...
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Old 05-09-2011, 11:51 AM
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omg! well i can see if he needs it for necessary things such as hygiene and letters,but all that?!?!? NO WAY. hes trying to live like a king while she struggling to maintain,and thats not fair!
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Old 05-09-2011, 01:11 PM
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omg! well i can see if he needs it for necessary things such as hygiene and letters,but all that?!?!? NO WAY. hes trying to live like a king while she struggling to maintain,and thats not fair!

LOL, I thought the same thing. I know they my want to watch TV or a Radio... but playstation come on. Really?
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Old 05-09-2011, 04:13 PM
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LOL, I thought the same thing. I know they my want to watch TV or a Radio... but playstation come on. Really?

WOW! not only do they have playstation, they have MP3 players and Cable channels. I use to send my Husband money every payday,but for the last year 1/2 I havent sent him a dime! And reason being, I wanted to see how real this marriage was,and you know what? His true colors came pouring out! Now I know I was just his hustle for the last six years,But I'm not mad, I get even! KARMA IS A B#^%& !!!!
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Old 05-09-2011, 04:53 PM
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Originally Posted by sparkyswife View Post
WOW! not only do they have playstation, they have MP3 players and Cable channels. I use to send my Husband money every payday,but for the last year 1/2 I havent sent him a dime! And reason being, I wanted to see how real this marriage was,and you know what? His true colors came pouring out! Now I know I was just his hustle for the last six years,But I'm not mad, I get even! KARMA IS A B#^%& !!!!
sux to hear that!!!! but hey ur absolutely RITE!!!!!! karma comes back!!!!! my hubby doesn't ask for money only visits all da time lol.... my in-laws got everything covered as in packages & other needs & for me just to go visit lol & my own gas besides that things are cool..
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Old 05-09-2011, 11:54 AM
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Mine doesn't. He knows I'm taking care of his children and he would feel like a douche if I was sending him money for unnecessary things while his daughters did without.

That being said if you have it and don't mind giving it then who cares. Honestly if I had more money I would send it. Sometimes I wish I could do more. Now I do NOT understand women out here surviving on ramen noodles because the send tons of money to their man so they can wear Timberlands and have a playstation. A good man wouldn't allow his partner to go without.
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Old 05-09-2011, 12:14 PM
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Nah, he doesn't. I send him money regularly. How do I decide that line in the sand...well, to me, I have to pay my bills, have money for myself to enjoy *myself* and treat *myself* (notice the *myself* lol). I am not going to skip my bills for anybody, not going to borrow money, not going to go without myself, that's my line.

It depends on how much money your friend has to give, does she have enough for her kids and herself, what kind of relationship they have, etc. If she is sending money she can't afford or he is some jerk who is just trying to take what she doesn't have, that's too bad but at the end of the day as grown women we all have to be responsible for handling our business. That's pretty much my entire opinion on the money subject.
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Old 05-09-2011, 12:38 PM
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My husband tells me not to send him money because I have more important things to buy right now. We have two children. If I try sending it, he tells me not to. I tell him to shut up, I am sending it anyway lol. He does get his basic needs from his mom though.
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Old 05-09-2011, 12:38 PM
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I put money on his books for hygiene,stamps,envelopes,paper,coffee, and snacks. I am not going to make it any easier on him. He is not on vacation, he is in jail. Some people don't think I should do that but I do like getting letters and a few honey buns and coffee isn't what I consider going over board. The only bad thing is, since he is in county no matter how much you put in they take half of it for "upkeep". So the items that he does get end up costing more.
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Old 05-10-2011, 10:41 AM
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Originally Posted by renerbell75 View Post
I put money on his books for hygiene,stamps,envelopes,paper,coffee, and snacks. I am not going to make it any easier on him. He is not on vacation, he is in jail. Some people don't think I should do that but I do like getting letters and a few honey buns and coffee isn't what I consider going over board. The only bad thing is, since he is in county no matter how much you put in they take half of it for "upkeep". So the items that he does get end up costing more.
One day till he comes home..good for you..I hope life will be good toyou both...
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Old 05-10-2011, 10:57 AM
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I will admit I spoil him at times. I send him a set amount each month and also put money on the phone so he can call me. He also asks for extras like books and magazines etc. and I'll send them if I can afford them. I do surveys and stuff online and get Amazon.com cards that I use for him.

When he first got there, he convinced me he needed extra for better shoes and boots and other odds and ends, but now that he is settled in, he pretty much has all the basics he needs. I am saving up for his TV tho' cuz he's going to be there for awhile, that's what he's getting for his birthday!

On the other hand, he does talk about hoping to get a better paying job so I won't have to send him as much and maybe even will be able to send me some instead.

I love him, he's worth it!
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Old 05-09-2011, 01:06 PM
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He lived with nothing but state pay for years, so I admit, I spoil him. He asks for stuff that aren't all needs but some wants, but he accepts no when I don't have it. And he doesn't go overboard. He gets his needs and some of his wants met. I make sure I'm taken care of first and my bills are covered though.
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Old 05-10-2011, 07:00 AM
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He lived with nothing but state pay for years, so I admit, I spoil him. He asks for stuff that aren't all needs but some wants, but he accepts no when I don't have it. And he doesn't go overboard. He gets his needs and some of his wants met. I make sure I'm taken care of first and my bills are covered though.
I am in the same boat. mine went without for so long and only on state pay, that I do tend to spoil him a bit, but he never asks for it!

Again, I also get everything paid first before I send him anything.
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Old 05-09-2011, 01:08 PM
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What do you consider necessary? My hubby had everything-but its no where near to what he has now he's out, because you just can't have everything in jail. It comes down to lifestyle. What you consider a luxury is a basic to some. We saw jail as an entire basic-even with nice clothes, shoes and all the extras-its not the same as out here. You do what you can do, if you can't afford, he can't have it. Noone should struggle on the outside for someone on the inside. If its no struggle, who cares-thats what money is for to enjoy life. I don't think its a matter of whats enough as everyone is different. I disagree on some going without food or whatever to send their man a Playstation, but then its up to the individual to get their priorities right.
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Old 05-09-2011, 01:09 PM
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The only thing I send money for is the phone, since I am the one who he calls all the time. Other then that, I'm lucky that his parents send money for everything else He doesn't ever ask me for money for the phone, as he says his parents will put it on for him, but where I'm the only one he calls regularly, I feel like that is my responsibility.
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Old 05-09-2011, 01:12 PM
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I only send money for the phone, as I am really the only one he calls on a regular basis. Other then that, I'm lucky that his parents have sent any and all additional money that he need for everything else. He has told me that his parents will send money for the phone as well, and not to worry about it... however where is me he is usually calling, I feel that is my responsibility, and I don't mind. Some days I feel like I'd pay a rediculous amount just to hear his voice when I really need to.
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Old 05-09-2011, 02:20 PM
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Sometimes. Well not so much money but i send packages. I spend a lot on him but that's MY CHOICE! I have it so i do it. Have i said "no"? Yes & when i do say no he accepts it. I have no kids so i have extra money in my pockets. He's my baby & i like taking care of him but if ever i dont feel like sending anything or just cant, he understand.
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Old 05-09-2011, 02:21 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QAngel
Does your man, ask for money for unneeded things.
I was just listening to a friend, and how her man has asked for a lot of things. He wants new shoes, and he just went in 3 months ago. He wants monies for a TV, PlayStation, Shorts, new sweats.
He also calls everyday, more then once. She sends money for him to be able to write, and get snacks, and hygiene items.
When do you draw the line?
He knows she is taking care of the kids, household as well.
Does your man ask for too much?
I dont give him money whats funny he sends me money for the phone for airfare to come twice a month. If he needed money I would send it to him but not for playstation if he wants that he needs to save his money he gets from working
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Old 05-09-2011, 02:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by QAngel View Post
Does your man, ask for money for unneeded things.
I was just listening to a friend, and how her man has asked for a lot of things. He wants new shoes, and he just went in 3 months ago. He wants monies for a TV, PlayStation, Shorts, new sweats.
He also calls everyday, more then once. She sends money for him to be able to write, and get snacks, and hygiene items.
When do you draw the line?
He knows she is taking care of the kids, household as well.
Does your man ask for too much?
Now, if she got it like that more power to her. However, if you are getting any form of public assistance, now that's a different story. I personally find any man asking/allowing a woman to take care of him very unattractive. I don't know how much time he has left, but if she likes it I love it.
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Old 05-09-2011, 03:54 PM
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Ray RARELY asks me for anything. Once in a blue moon he will ask for $10 and if I have it, it is his. For the most part, like currently, he sends me $10 per pacycheck (he makes a whopping $100 a month) because he knows it will help.

I bought him ONE Christmas package and ONE pair of shoes............in 17 years. He has a job, has always had a job, that is how he gets his "extras"
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Old 05-09-2011, 03:57 PM
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On very rare occasions, Im happy to give it better then any kinda hustle in there
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Old 05-09-2011, 04:07 PM
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My boyfriend doesn't ask me for money...lol...he actually tries to send it to me. He's always sending me letters with envelopes already addressed with stamps...lol. like i'm the one thats locked up. I put money on the phone account and send money to his mom. I try to do it in secret but he always finds out. If he was to ask me for money i would still send it...but i think the point where you draw the line is when they forget this is time for them to reflect on their mistakes and better themselves. if you send them to many non needed things they'll start to think its camp or something. you dont want him to get comfortable cuz when he gets out you want him to do everything in his power not to go back. IDk thats just my opinion.
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