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Prison & Jail Wedding Information Central Everything about getting married in prison or jail. Notices, pictures, questions, stories, what to expect.

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  #76  
Old 06-28-2005, 11:51 AM
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Default Wedding Ceremony

Wedding Party

Most prisons allow a witness for both the bride and groom as well as family and friends. However in most cases those guests have to be approved visitors prior to the wedding day and will be subject to any rules pertaining to the number of visitors allowed unless other arrangements have previously been made with the facility.


Flowers

Typically you will not be able to have flowers of any kind, but on rare occassions the prison may allow artificial flowers. Again that isn't normally the case, but it's something you can call the prison and ask about. Members have even posted about being able to wear a corsage in lieu of flowers.

Photos

Most all prison weddings are allowed photos. I have seen where some prisons allow the bride to bring in a disposable cameras and others allow regular (or digital) cameras. I don't think bringing in a camera is typical. From what I have seen the standard is inmates purchase photo tickets and someone at the prison takes the pictures.


What is allowed at the wedding can depend not only on the state, but the actual prison or custody level of the prison. What is posted above is only a general idea so the best advise is call the prison Chaplain in advance and ask all these questions.

Last edited by ben's girl; 09-08-2008 at 05:26 PM..
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  #77  
Old 06-28-2005, 12:00 PM
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Default Finding a Minister

Most prison Chaplians dont preform the actual wedding. Some prisons will have a list of ministers that will come to the prison and do the wedding, but often times you will have to find your own. If you belong to a Church then start there. If not you may have to make several phone calls until you find one willing to do it.

Here is a couple links that you can start with
http://www.partypop.com/Categories/Ministers.html

http://www.weddingministers.com/

You can also google wedding ministers for your state
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  #78  
Old 07-10-2005, 04:36 PM
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I recognize "loneliness" and "sadness that he's not here" as merely being a "state of mind".

You ladies know he's locked up. Loving an inmate means accepting what comes with that territory. You all say you're so much in love -- some so much that you can't even wait til he gets out -- so how about living on THAT love along with the love that he has for you. I have never felt lonely or sad my husband is not here, not even on our marriage night because I know he can't be here. I accept that as one of the punches I gotta roll with because it comes with this type of relationship. My marriage night was great -- his pictures and his love were here to comfort me and I felt good!! He wanted to marry me so bad, I had become his wife -- I felt very proud from that day forward, and, that night forward.

Me and my husband had happy times before we married, and we've had happy times after we married. If you're anything like me then your bedroom looks like a teen-age girls: pictures of him and us hanging everywhere; things he's made me hanging everywhere, other things he's given me are here, there and some over there, and love letters from him always in my view. I am so full of him and what we share that there is no room inside me to squeeze lonliness and sadness in. I have all these reminders of him that only make me smile and feel happy. So try not to think about the "nots", like "he not here" and stuff like that. Instead, make that deep and undying love that you have for him along with his love for you WORK FOR YOU. Allow it to be your comfort place -- that when you're all alone smile and feel warm because of the burning desires.

It also helps to be happy within yourself which simply means love yourself and feel good about yourself. You can work this from the love angle, so girls -- WORK IT!!

If you haven't married already, when you do, don't be sad on your marriage night -- he'll be there with you in your heart so feel good about that, feel real good because mutual love is an awesome feeling.

Last edited by Wifey-Ma; 07-10-2005 at 04:44 PM..
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  #79  
Old 07-11-2005, 12:15 AM
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I definitely agree with wifey-ma. I think that you have to look at things as they are. I mean don't you already miss him because he's not there? Don't you already have good nights/days and bad nights/days because he is not there? I am getting married by proxy in August and I think that it will be a good night, I will know where our hearts are: together, forever. I think that I am as committed to him now as I will be when we are married and that is not going to change the fact that we have to wait until his time is over to be together. I won't be crying when I see him unless there is some bad news, I don't cry now. I do feel sad that I have to leave at the visits end but I mostly feel happy that I got a chance to see his face. Something that I can not take for granted like other couples. So all in all, I think being married won't change the ups and downs that we face loving an inmate. Why not be married going through it? I don't have to wait for a face to face ceremony to make a public declaration of our love, but this is only my opinion.
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  #80  
Old 07-11-2005, 01:07 AM
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Wink Mostly pride...

I feel wifey-ma, I didn't feel sorry for myself on my wedding night. I was just happy and grateful to have the privelege of having my best friend and soul mate as my husband. Now...I do get lonely for him occasionally , I just miss him so much...but I don't dwell on what we can't do . I just look forward to all that we'll do when he's back home. Nothing warms me like when he tells me, "I'm glad you're my wife!" That's enough to get me through anything!:love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love: :love:
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  #81  
Old 07-11-2005, 04:13 AM
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I didn't feel sorry on mine either. I was sad that there was no honeymoon! I was happy that I did have my sister and nieces to spend it with (we went fishing). I was just so happy that I was married to the man I loved.
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  #82  
Old 07-28-2005, 06:27 PM
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Talking I Know Exactly How You Felt!

EKATE,
FIRST OF ALL; CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR WEDDING.
I MY SELF GOT MARRIED ON FEBRUARY 9TH OF THIS YEAR. YOU KNOW WHAT'S THE BEST PART OF BEING MARRIED TO THE MAN OF YOUR DREAMS WHO'S IN PRISON? BEEN THE WOMAN OF HIS DREAMS. CAUSE I BET YOU THAT BEFORE AND EVEN MORE AFTER THAT FIRST FAMILY VISIT, ALL HE DOES IS DREAM ABOUT THE TIME YOU BOTH SHARED TOGETHER.
THAT'S A BLESSING TO HIS HEART, AND HELPS OUT HIM OUT ALOT TO FOGET HIS SORROW.

KEEP YOUR HEAD UP TOO, STAY STRONG, KEEP SENDING YOUR LOVE TO HIM; AND STAY FAITHFUL TO HIM. JUST REMEMBER EVERY LITTLE DROP OF LOVE YOU PUT INTO THIS MARRIAGE WILL MULTIPLY TO YOU, FULFILLING YOUR HEART AND BRINGING IT AT PEACE.

GOD BLESS YOUR HEART!

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Originally Posted by ekate
The Day I Got Married Was The Happy And Saddest Day Of My Life. I Was Walking On Clouds The Day I Got Married Even Though We Had The Worst Wedding.. Till I Got Home And Realized That My Wedding Night I Would Spend Alone Waiting By The Phone Hoping That He Would Call... When The Clock Hit 8:50 I Knew No Call Would Come I Cried The Rest Of The Night And A Little Depression Hit And The Next Morning I Woke Up Like I Had A Hang Over... This Lasted 3 Days... We All Think About Our Honeymoon And How It Will Be But For A Inmates Bride We Get Nothing But A Kiss And A Ring On Our Finger... Which Was Ok With Me Till I Got Home And Knew I Made A Mistake.. But Then A Week Later My Friend Called And Asked If I Was Going To Visit My Husband.. At First I Said Who But Then Reality Hit Hey I Have A Husband And Yes I Want To Go See Him I Knew Then The Only Mistake I Had Made Was Feeling Like A Fool. I Am Married To The Man Of My Dreams And We Have A Child Together And No One Can Fill His Shoes... Not In My Eyes Anyway.. We Are One Of The Lucky Ones We Get Family Visit And Have Had One From Feb 13 To The 15th.. Our First Year Married And We Got To Spend Valentines Day Together How Cool Is That...that Was The First Time In Six Years That I Got To Sleep In A Bed With My Husband. To Most People They Dont Understand The Pride Of Being An Inmates Wife But I Am Proud Each Day That I Married Him...
Ladies I Just Wanted You To Know How I Felt Cause I Sure Wish Someone Would Have Warned Me About It The Lonely And Sadness That Would Come.. But Its A Brief Thing And Its Well Worth It..
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  #83  
Old 07-28-2005, 06:51 PM
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I am sorry to hear about your families not accepting what you have with your hubby's that are in prison. Everything is kinda of the oppisite for me. My mom accepts this compeletly and is behind me 100% but his mom is a whole nother story. I mean she likes me and all and loves her grandson but she thinks that I should just move on with my life and let him be. She doesn't get it and never will. She won't even send a letter to her son and wouldn't even visit when he was in county. Crazy huh? She doesn't even understand what that is doing to her own son and I don't know what to say or do to make her understand that her son feels like crap and feels so unwanted by her. I mean he says that hes okay an all because he has me and I am all that matters but I know hes hurting deep down inside. How can I get through to his mom?? Well hang in there and if your family can't understand then I say oh well, as long as your happy because you don't want to go through life unhappy. Lots of luck to you!!

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Last edited by Butterfly22; 07-28-2005 at 06:52 PM.. Reason: typo
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  #84  
Old 07-28-2005, 06:54 PM
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Even if your not married and you have a child with an inmate can you still get family visits?? How is a family visit different from a reg. visit?? Please someone let me know!!!!

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  #85  
Old 07-30-2005, 03:42 PM
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The day that I arrived in Phoenix, before my wedding, I was ecstatic. When, I saw my groom a few hours later, so was he. He knew, I had managed the 1300 mile trip and that I would not allow anything to stop me from being there two days later, regardless.

We had waited 6 months to become man and wife and we were happy. Eldon was especially happy, because he was to have me and his two dearest relatives there, as well. The relatives, were his mother and aunt. I had met the aunt on a previous trip and spent a couple of days in her home. I was supposed to spend several days with her and her husband again and was comfortable, with the idea. His mom had already tried to convince him it was better to sit alone, on the row and wait on her, one annual visit and the letter or two that she possibly wrote, each year, than to marry me. I was very uneasy that she was to be present as a witness, though I knew how happy that it made my husband.

My husband exists on death row in a Super Max so, I get few oppurtunities to make him really happy and know that nomatter what they pull, at that unit, they can not diminish his joy. I signed the papers to marry him on Valentiones Day and left him a truly happy camper, as he says. Our wedding day, should have been a day that left him floating on a cloud, as I expected it to. However, that was before I returned to his aunts in Phoenix and was informed the family objected to our marriage.

She came up with all sorts of excuses. We were rushing into things.Though, we had been thru a 6 month process to get approved. My husband is Pima and had failed to sign a paper, at his mother's request to make sure that I inherit nothing, from the reservation. There had never been a paper, as far as either of us are aware. I do not know my husband, he is not the man I think he is, I was told. The list went on and on, until the truth, finaly revealed itself.

I could not believe what was said to me two days, before I married a man that I adore. But, his aunt, after a discussion, with his mother had the nerve to tell me that if it were to take any publicity, at all to free him, then Eldon is expected, to sit right where he is. They are concerned, because they know that I plan to write about our case and our story together. They are ashamed.

As you can tell, by my posts, I am seldom at a loss, for words. This time, I was speechless. What do you say in the face, of such a heartless remark, coming, from the two people that your husband loves most. I stood there knowing that not only would my husband be hurt that they did not keep thier promise to be with us, but that I would have to devestate him and tell him, his family had rather him die than me seek publicity, on our case.

We married as planned. The clerk, who brought our paperwork and a gaurd witnessed for us. But, we are Mr. and Mrs. Schurz. Noone or nothing can ever break that bond, between us. Though, his family has certainly tried. The choice was given to him, his wife or them. He told them there was no choice.

His mother had refused to so much as meet me, at any point. But, she actually showed up, for a visit with him, the Sunday after I had returned to Texas. She tried to talk him into letting me go again.
After, I learned of the incident, I told him that he will not face either of them again, without me present. I got a letter today, his mother was removed, from his visiting list. The cousin that saved me from being stranded in Phoenix and made sure that I got to Florence , for our wedding, has been added.

One door closes and another opens, Eldon told me. We were disappointed and our wedding was irreversibly marred. However, his cousin recently told him that his bride sure was happy after she married him, last month. I can imagine the smile on his face, as he read the words.

We lost alot of the joy,of the moment, that day, but all the confrontation accomplished, in the end was to make us stronger together. As bad as it was, it was the day that I was given a gift, from God. It was the day that I married the man, who holds my heart forever.

Last edited by Eldon's wife; 07-30-2005 at 03:58 PM..
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  #86  
Old 08-01-2005, 03:18 PM
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What states allow the family visits. My husband is in Dodge State Prison in Chester, GA.

Quote:
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I Dont Know If Feds Give Family Visits There Are Only 8 Or 9 States That Do Offer Them.. We Get 2 Nights Together And Yes You Do Have To Be Married.
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  #87  
Old 08-03-2005, 06:34 AM
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I am not married to my sweetie yet, but if I was I think after the ceremony(i would rent a limo just like the "real deal") I would go off on my honey moon somewhere nice i think that would help for the depression not to set in and get my mind off of things but i would lso have my own reception , party everything i think it makes it more real even though he is not there. wether or not he is there it would be the happiest day in my life-then when he gets home you can go on your honey moon "together" hehe
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  #88  
Old 08-03-2005, 11:46 AM
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WELL 20 MORE DAYS TIL ME AND MY BABY ARE FINALLY HUSBAND AND WIFE I AM SO HAPPY AND EXCITED AND NERVOUS ALL AT THE SAME TIME WE GOT ENGAGED ON NEW YEARS EVE THIS YEAR BEFORE HE WENT IN IM GOING DOWN TO DALLAS ON AUG 23RD AND DO THE PROXY MARRIAGE I KNOW AFTER ITS DONE THAT I AM SURE I AM GONNA FEEL ALITTLE BLUE CAUSE I WONT BE FLYING BACK TO CHICAGO WITH MY HUSBAND THAT HAS JUST GOT TO BE A NORMAL REACTION BUT ALL IN ALL I AM MARRYING THE MAN I WANT TO SPEND OUR 4EVER WITH AND WHEN HE GETS HOME WE WILL FLY BACK DOWN AND DO THE CHURCH THING FOR US AND THE FAMILY REGARDLESS OF THE WAY YOU GET MARRIED OR HOW THAT IS NOT IS WHAT IS GONNA MAKE THE MARRIAGE A STABLE STRONG UNION GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND MANY YEARS OF HAPPINESS FOR YOU ALSO
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  #89  
Old 08-03-2005, 12:06 PM
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I just got married TWO days ago...I am going through the same thing....It is HARD! My phone was restricted...I am waiting on a call...I saw the sad look in his eyes when I had to go! I know that he needs to hear from me as badly as I need to hear from him! We are 2 1/2 hours apart. Our son is due Oct. 2nd and he wont be home for that either. What a punishment! His early release date is on Valentines Day of 2006....what a day that will (hopefully) be! Unfortunately we do not get family visits in Michigan I feel your pain and your happiness! I hope all goes well for you as well!
Always,
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Old 08-04-2005, 12:21 PM
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JESSIEGIRL CONGRADS TO YOU AND GOD BLESS YOUR BABY I AM VERY HAPPY FOR YOU HE WILL BE HOME SOON AND SEE ALL THE MANY BLESSINGS HE CONTINUED TO RECIEVE WHILE BEING IN TAKE CARE IT WILL GO BY FASTER THAN YOU THINK
Quote:
Originally Posted by jessiesgirl
I just got married TWO days ago...I am going through the same thing....It is HARD! My phone was restricted...I am waiting on a call...I saw the sad look in his eyes when I had to go! I know that he needs to hear from me as badly as I need to hear from him! We are 2 1/2 hours apart. Our son is due Oct. 2nd and he wont be home for that either. What a punishment! His early release date is on Valentines Day of 2006....what a day that will (hopefully) be! Unfortunately we do not get family visits in Michigan I feel your pain and your happiness! I hope all goes well for you as well!
Always,
Jessiesgirl
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  #91  
Old 08-04-2005, 05:21 PM
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Congratulations to those who have been approved and got to take the final step. I, myself am awaiting approval by the superintendant to marry the man of my dreams, the man who makes my life complete.
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  #92  
Old 08-09-2005, 11:55 AM
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My boyfriend wanted to get married since last year, at first I thought hey that would be great. But I wanted to be honest with him, and told him I have never been married before, and I want this to be special. I want a garden wedding, and weather my parents except him or not isn't the issue. My kids are my main concern, and my little girl calls him dad, and he loves it. My older son likes him a lot. Even though he is behind bars he treats me better than the guys I used to date . My boyfriend has gone through a lot, and I have been the only one there for him. He wants me to be happy and realizes that he needs to get himself together before he takes on the responsiblity of taking care of a wife and family.
He gets out on Nov9th of this year, and we will be living together, we both need to get some kind of financial stability. Maybe some day when my folks see that he is a hard worker, and see's how happy I am, they will welcome him, but if they don't what can I do. I am 43 as of today, and I will do what makes me the happiest.
For those of you who have gotten married while your loved ones were behind bars, I give you all my blessings , and congrats to you. !!!!!!!!
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Old 08-12-2005, 08:43 AM
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I am new to this website and all of this is great. I am new to all of this period.

My mother is the one person who is not supportive. We have been together since we were 15-years old and here we are 10-years later. We have a beautiful daughter together and we truly have deep love for one another. We are getting married in September and it's exciting but all so sad. We are just praying that he makes parole for the first time, which will be May of 2006. It is Texas though but in Jesus Name he is coming home.

Thank you all for this great support.
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Old 08-18-2005, 08:34 PM
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Thank You All For The Support I Know I Am Not The Only One And Congrats To All Of You How Have Gotten Married Or Will Be Getting Married
Being An Inmates Wife Is A Hard And Painfully Thing
But We All Have Each Other The Best To You All
Love Elizabeth

Iroctay I Hope He Makes Parole And You Will Be In My Prays Yeaaaa
You Are Getting Married Next Month And You Excited Yet Let Us Know How It Went.
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Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us."
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Old 08-19-2005, 11:00 PM
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First of all, I want to say how happy I am that I finally found this site. I am so amazed at what I have read here; the questions, the answers, the honesty...thank God for this site!

Tonight, I saw on 20/20 this news excerpt on prison marriages and I just got really angry because of their cynical viewpoints made to dissuade someone like myself, who loves a man who is incarcerated and have been considering marrying him. Why do they say that a woman has to have low self esteem and that she may have been abused in her childhood, etc.? I really resented that crazy biased report. I met my boo 2 years ago and it was love at first sight. Last month, he was arrested and is awaiting trial. I am absolutely in love with my baby and he really wants to make it official. I am so confused and I don't know what to do. Reading these testimonies have opened my eyes and my heart and I don't feel alone anymore.

Thank you so much ladies for sharing your stories of love and devotion!!

Last edited by SolyMar421; 08-19-2005 at 11:02 PM.. Reason: correction
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Old 08-23-2005, 11:49 PM
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Hello Everyone Me And My Man Have Been Together For About A Year And A Half But We Have None Each Other Since We Were About 12 Yrs Old. He's Been Wanting To Get Married For Awhile Now But This Is All New To Me. Don't Get Me Wrong I Love Him He's The Man Of My Dreams But I Really Want To Marry Him For The Right Reasons Than For All The Wrong Ones. I Have Never Gotten Married Before So A Desicion Like This Is Very Important And I Take Marrige Very Seriously I Just Don't Want To Be Like Other People That Get Married And Some Time Passes By And They Realized That The Have Made A Mistake. I'm I Wrong To Think That Way?
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Old 08-24-2005, 07:51 PM
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hey, libra1523

i dont think that you should be worried. you shouldn't second guess your heart. I always wanted to have a big church wedding with the white gown, and all that, but when my baby got locked up, that didnt stop me from wanting to marry him, I just never thought I would have a "prison wedding". To be honest, I thought I was too good for that but as time goes by and I see all the beautiful pictures posted here and I read peoples stories, I decided that I would marry my baby anywhere.

I think that you just gotta prepare yourself mentally and only make moves when your hearts in it, baby girl!!!
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Old 08-27-2005, 07:17 AM
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hey Pto Well I Just Got Married The 23rd And The Prison Allowed Him To Give Me A Special Call It Didnt Happen Until 2 Days Later But I Got It The Ceremony Was Great We Did It By Proxy I Got My 3 Day Waiver Which I Had To Work For But Its All So Worth The Work He Is So Happy And So Am I . I Have A Wonderful In Law Family That Are All Just So Awesome I Still Feel Like Im In A Dream It Is All So Over Whelming I Love My Hubby!!!!!
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Old 08-27-2005, 11:22 AM
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Originally Posted by RMD4EVER
hey Pto Well I Just Got Married The 23rd And The Prison Allowed Him To Give Me A Special Call It Didnt Happen Until 2 Days Later But I Got It The Ceremony Was Great We Did It By Proxy I Got My 3 Day Waiver Which I Had To Work For But Its All So Worth The Work He Is So Happy And So Am I . I Have A Wonderful In Law Family That Are All Just So Awesome I Still Feel Like Im In A Dream It Is All So Over Whelming I Love My Hubby!!!!!

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Old 09-01-2005, 05:30 PM
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mrschris mrschris is offline
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i really never thought about the depression that would probably follow...but i suppose it will set in. some nights i'm so sad and alone without him now, i wonder how much will i cry when it happens? but i know that there is nothing more i want right now than to be mrs. chris b.
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