Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > Wives & Girlfriends in Prison
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Wives & Girlfriends in Prison For everyone who has a wife, girlfriend, or female partner incarcerated.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 08-01-2018, 01:17 AM
gu903tx gu903tx is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 17
Thanks: 2
Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts
Exclamation Girlfriend in TDCJ acting weird

Ok so my girlfriend is serving 3 years in tdcj & currently in plane state jail. Shes been locked up for about a year now but has been in tdcj for about 6 months. Ok me and her always had our own ways of affection like pet talk, things we talked about like plans when she gets out, memories, she even liked to talk dirty on the phone sometimes and we had a real good connection all thru the first 6 months in county until the end we started to argued a bit. After intake at plane unit we talked ok & everything seemed fine but then she would go off on me every phone call & hanging up on me & go days without calling. She started to call every 2-3 days but rude af & i kept kissing her ass sending books every week, $100 every store day like ive done her whole time in jail and kept phone paid till finally i started to think she was with someone in there who has since moved units & broke up with her & she called crying to please not leave her & swears she hasnt cheated her attitude changed but her affection never came back. I always bring up & ask why but gets offended & swears up & down she loves me & wants to be with me but doesnt seem to have any interest on wtf i got going, gets bothered about me bringing up future plans, no affection and any attempt on dirty talk she quickly avoids. Ive tried to leave and she cries and begs for me to stay & that she loves me & idk wtf to do im the only person who contacts her or sends her stuff or even cares & i cant visit her since ive only been out of tdcj 1 year & sounds fishy but i feel bad if she is being honest & i leave and if shes not shes gonna just let me waste all this time. We known each other half my life but been together off & on 3 years. Shes known to be a liar and sneaky at one point but swears she really wants to be with me, I even offered her once to be honest & if she didnt wanna be with me it would be fine and id still be here for her but she wanted to stay with me but idk if she'd ever decide she could do me like that but idk. What could i or should i do? Any help please????
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 08-01-2018, 02:28 AM
MizzyMuffling's Avatar
MizzyMuffling MizzyMuffling is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: NC & Germany
Posts: 3,471
Thanks: 3,183
Thanked 3,645 Times in 1,577 Posts
Default

Well... I think I'd be acting "weird" if I'd be in prison... just because prison life sucks.
BUT... your lady is really acting strange or weird and to be honest I would not put up with this especially if this will go on for a few more years to come.
Why don't you step back a bit by maybe not sending her stuff for awhile or less, less visits or none just because you need a break? She won't like it but she won't get it unless you are start being more "strict" with her. She's walking all over you, trampling your emotions and good will.
You don't need this and you certainly don't deserve that. Think about yourself first now.
__________________
Follow your heart but take your brain with you...
Reply With Quote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to MizzyMuffling For This Useful Post:
fbopnomore (08-01-2018), gu903tx (08-01-2018), WeepingWillow (08-01-2018)
  #3  
Old 08-01-2018, 02:42 AM
gu903tx gu903tx is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 17
Thanks: 2
Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MizzyMuffling View Post
Well... I think I'd be acting "weird" if I'd be in prison... just because prison life sucks.
BUT... your lady is really acting strange or weird and to be honest I would not put up with this especially if this will go on for a few more years to come.
Why don't you step back a bit by maybe not sending her stuff for awhile or less, less visits or none just because you need a break? She won't like it but she won't get it unless you are start being more "strict" with her. She's walking all over you, trampling your emotions and good will.
You don't need this and you certainly don't deserve that. Think about yourself first now.
Yea prison sucks but nothing i couldnt cope with when i was there but then again im a man and know womens emotions are way different. But Yea your right i think i do need to be strict. Just hate being an asshole when i know shes stressing but damn i dont wanna be in a relationship like this either even tho i do love her but shes keeping me from a real relationship if she is playing games
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to gu903tx For This Useful Post:
fbopnomore (08-01-2018), MizzyMuffling (08-01-2018)
  #4  
Old 08-01-2018, 03:13 AM
MizzyMuffling's Avatar
MizzyMuffling MizzyMuffling is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: NC & Germany
Posts: 3,471
Thanks: 3,183
Thanked 3,645 Times in 1,577 Posts
Default

You're not an asshole when and if you set limits. She's a bit** for treating you this way (excuse my French). She's in prison, not you!!! She did something wrong not you. So don't pay for her mistakes!
__________________
Follow your heart but take your brain with you...
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 08-01-2018, 04:23 AM
gu903tx gu903tx is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 17
Thanks: 2
Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MizzyMuffling View Post
You're not an asshole when and if you set limits. She's a bit** for treating you this way (excuse my French). She's in prison, not you!!! She did something wrong not you. So don't pay for her mistakes!
Your absolutely right thank you! I know its hard to tell without seeing for yourself but from what I explained do you think shes just being a selfish B**** but loves me? Or just playing me?
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 08-01-2018, 04:37 AM
MizzyMuffling's Avatar
MizzyMuffling MizzyMuffling is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: NC & Germany
Posts: 3,471
Thanks: 3,183
Thanked 3,645 Times in 1,577 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by gu903tx View Post
Your absolutely right thank you! I know its hard to tell without seeing for yourself but from what I explained do you think shes just being a selfish B**** but loves me? Or just playing me?
I have to give her the benefit of the doubt.... I have never been in prison but from what I've read on this forum over the past years I do believe that prison doesn't make you a purring pussycat but more a moody person with lots of anxiety - just putting it really plain and simple and that statement does not match all inmates of course.

But even if that's the case, she's got to learn to treat you right because you're doing a lot for her. You should not pay for her "shortcomings" and not for her moods and as long as you do that it's almost like you are "rewarding" her for her behavior.
You didn't put her in prison, she's got to learn to behave, plain and simple. I bet if you walk away or take a few steps back (I don't know your guys dynamics of course) she'll come around.
And if not... well...then you have your answer.
__________________
Follow your heart but take your brain with you...
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to MizzyMuffling For This Useful Post:
gu903tx (08-01-2018)
  #7  
Old 08-01-2018, 05:03 AM
gu903tx gu903tx is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 17
Thanks: 2
Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MizzyMuffling View Post
I have to give her the benefit of the doubt.... I have never been in prison but from what I've read on this forum over the past years I do believe that prison doesn't make you a purring pussycat but more a moody person with lots of anxiety - just putting it really plain and simple and that statement does not match all inmates of course.

But even if that's the case, she's got to learn to treat you right because you're doing a lot for her. You should not pay for her "shortcomings" and not for her moods and as long as you do that it's almost like you are "rewarding" her for her behavior.
You didn't put her in prison, she's got to learn to behave, plain and simple. I bet if you walk away or take a few steps back (I don't know your guys dynamics of course) she'll come around.
And if not... well...then you have your answer.
I've walked away a few times there was even a period that she constantly felt and knew i didnt love her the same anymore and it seemed to mess with her bad which made me stay with her. Yesterday she finally said something about she forgot how to show emotion that she didnt want to be hurt and blocked them out. Tbh that makes no sense lol & almost sounds like an excuse to not make an effort at least i think, because all i constantly do is try to make her happy and as long as i have stood by her side she should see im not going no where THAT easy. I spoiled her ass and it needs to stop lol im gonna give her whatever effort she gives for sure starting asap! Thank you!
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to gu903tx For This Useful Post:
MizzyMuffling (08-01-2018)
  #8  
Old 08-01-2018, 05:09 AM
MizzyMuffling's Avatar
MizzyMuffling MizzyMuffling is offline
Registered User
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: NC & Germany
Posts: 3,471
Thanks: 3,183
Thanked 3,645 Times in 1,577 Posts
Default

Do what feels right for you and also youíll probably get a lot more input once everyone wakes up Iím 6 hours ahead from the East Coast...
__________________
Follow your heart but take your brain with you...
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 08-01-2018, 05:11 AM
gu903tx gu903tx is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 17
Thanks: 2
Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by MizzyMuffling View Post
Do what feels right for you and also youíll probably get a lot more input once everyone wakes up Iím 6 hours ahead from the East Coast...
Im fixing to go to work no sleep I guess lol
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to gu903tx For This Useful Post:
MizzyMuffling (08-01-2018)
  #10  
Old 08-01-2018, 06:18 AM
CenTexLyn CenTexLyn is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: TX-US
Posts: 14,835
Thanks: 644
Thanked 10,967 Times in 5,951 Posts
Default

More than once, I have had female clients who have told stories of other female offenders filling their head with the nonsense that nobody was going to stay by their side. As a result, some end up trying to push their spouse/friend away before they can, themselves, be cut loose.

Other times, it is all about posturing for others in the dayroom and who are within earshot of the phones.

What is she like during actual visitation?
Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to CenTexLyn For This Useful Post:
MizzyMuffling (08-01-2018), xolady (08-01-2018)
  #11  
Old 08-01-2018, 06:31 AM
xolady xolady is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2014
Location: highlands, florida
Posts: 5,636
Thanks: 11,874
Thanked 5,802 Times in 3,033 Posts
Default

Having been in jail never prison it's very easy to get caught up in the mind games people there play with you. Imagine being there hearing all kinds of crazy stories about how people get abandoned. I'm sure in her mind it push you away first before you leave her kind of thing. If you really love her then reassure her and make her understand what your feeling. Good luck and be honest and don't play head games.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to xolady For This Useful Post:
MizzyMuffling (08-01-2018)
  #12  
Old 08-01-2018, 08:47 AM
gu903tx gu903tx is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 17
Thanks: 2
Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by CenTexLyn View Post
More than once, I have had female clients who have told stories of other female offenders filling their head with the nonsense that nobody was going to stay by their side. As a result, some end up trying to push their spouse/friend away before they can, themselves, be cut loose.

Other times, it is all about posturing for others in the dayroom and who are within earshot of the phones.

What is she like during actual visitation?
I cant visit her supposedly cause since i got out of tdc just last year supposedly u gotta be out more than 24 months before u can visit someone at tdc
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to gu903tx For This Useful Post:
xolady (08-03-2018)
  #13  
Old 08-01-2018, 08:48 AM
gu903tx gu903tx is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 17
Thanks: 2
Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by xolady View Post
Having been in jail never prison it's very easy to get caught up in the mind games people there play with you. Imagine being there hearing all kinds of crazy stories about how people get abandoned. I'm sure in her mind it push you away first before you leave her kind of thing. If you really love her then reassure her and make her understand what your feeling. Good luck and be honest and don't play head games.
Yea prison sucks but gotta be strong minded to make it
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 08-01-2018, 04:18 PM
onedayatatime13 onedayatatime13 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 1,985
Thanks: 361
Thanked 2,501 Times in 1,181 Posts
Default

Was she with you for your bid? MWI? Is she locked up for something related to yours?

I'm just curious as to timeline stuff.
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 08-02-2018, 09:41 PM
gu903tx gu903tx is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 17
Thanks: 2
Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by onedayatatime13 View Post
Was she with you for your bid? MWI? Is she locked up for something related to yours?

I'm just curious as to timeline stuff.
Its a long ass story lol. We had just gotten back together for several months then she went to jail for a month then 5 days after she got out I went to jail on a felony charge. She was there for a few months then she caught a felony charge went to court from jail like me but she got probation and got out. Well when i finished my time and got out 3 days later she violated probation on a new felony charge and got the 3 years she is doing right now. So she was there for the little time she was out herself lol
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 08-02-2018, 09:46 PM
onedayatatime13 onedayatatime13 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: United States
Posts: 1,985
Thanks: 361
Thanked 2,501 Times in 1,181 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by gu903tx View Post
Its a long ass story lol. We had just gotten back together for several months then she went to jail for a month then 5 days after she got out I went to jail on a felony charge. She was there for a few months then she caught a felony charge went to court from jail like me but she got probation and got out. Well when i finished my time and got out 3 days later she violated probation on a new felony charge and got the 3 years she is doing right now. So she was there for the little time she was out herself lol
It does clarify things. I wanted to make sure there was no resentment towards you on her part.

You guys have had a rocky start to say the least. Getting to know someone under stress is hard. Unfortunately, you both had issues with solid decision making separately.

Is her crime drug related and could she be using inside? If so, could that explain the erratic behavior?

Just watch for being used and of you don't feel comfortable doing something don't do it. You need healthy boundaries. The go-to is not healthy for either one of you.
__________________


Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to onedayatatime13 For This Useful Post:
xolady (08-03-2018)
  #17  
Old 08-03-2018, 07:17 AM
xolady xolady is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: May 2014
Location: highlands, florida
Posts: 5,636
Thanks: 11,874
Thanked 5,802 Times in 3,033 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by gu903tx View Post
Yea prison sucks but gotta be strong minded to make it
I hear you but unfortunately it's easier said then done!!
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 08-03-2018, 07:45 AM
gu903tx gu903tx is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 17
Thanks: 2
Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by xolady View Post
I hear you but unfortunately it's easier said then done!!
Oh I know, I went through all that myself and idk about womens prison but in mens its survival of the fittest, u either gotta be strong minded to make it or break down and become easy prey. It doesnt matter how much bigger someone is than you or if u can fight or not you gotta never show weakness and not back down from anyone or ever be scared to call someone out when it is necessary. Its a messed up place and rough but if u let it break u then u wont make it, plain n simple! its eat or be eaten, guards dont give af either they wont help u its not how they look on tv there most likely to cause something happening to u than anyone.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to gu903tx For This Useful Post:
xolady (08-03-2018)
  #19  
Old 08-03-2018, 12:20 PM
missingdee's Avatar
missingdee missingdee is offline
She's Home! Moderator

PTO Moderator 

 

Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Metro Los Angeles, CA, USA
Posts: 2,960
Thanks: 3,340
Thanked 4,786 Times in 1,899 Posts
Default

Question, while I'm trying to formulate an answer...has your girl ever been diagnosed with any sort of mental illness? Does she have issues due to past trauma? Does she have a history of addiction (and if so what is her drug of choice?) I'd ask if she has a criminal history, but, you know, doing prison time usually checks that box off and I wouldn't be here if mine didn't have that. (But she also has the other things as well, which is why I ask.)

Hang in there.
__________________
The Colorblind Moderator (I'm not even going to try to use green down here, I'll embarass myself! LOL!) Currently assisting in all forums and actively monitoring Wives and Girlfriends in Prison and the California forums.

#ByeCDCR #TimesUp #HomeForChristmas
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 08-03-2018, 11:34 PM
gu903tx gu903tx is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Texas
Posts: 17
Thanks: 2
Thanked 6 Times in 5 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by missingdee View Post
Question, while I'm trying to formulate an answer...has your girl ever been diagnosed with any sort of mental illness? Does she have issues due to past trauma? Does she have a history of addiction (and if so what is her drug of choice?) I'd ask if she has a criminal history, but, you know, doing prison time usually checks that box off and I wouldn't be here if mine didn't have that. (But she also has the other things as well, which is why I ask.)

Hang in there.
I know shes bipolar & doesnt take meds, I hate to say it but some big daddy issues, took xanax for the longest & weed and drinking but went to meth then went to pcp. Shes there now for 2 felony charges for pcp. We both were messing up bad i know but she told me she wants to stay away from that life bad but is afraid cause she still feels the craving which scares me cause i had it too & got out went to work stayed clean for a bit & fell back in it for a bit but for some miracle i just one day saw all my issues emotional and mental came from the drugs and quit cold turkey then started my own painting business. But im scared if she relapses and isnt so lucky. Im freaking out & any advice or boost of confidence i try to give seems to piss her off
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 08-07-2018, 03:53 PM
missingdee's Avatar
missingdee missingdee is offline
She's Home! Moderator

PTO Moderator 

 

Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Metro Los Angeles, CA, USA
Posts: 2,960
Thanks: 3,340
Thanked 4,786 Times in 1,899 Posts
Default

Back to this one....


What I'm thinking is that you're dealing with a girlfriend who needs some serious self-work as far as her mental health and addiction.


If she's using in jail/prison, then that's an issue that's self-explanatory.



If she's not, then that's another issue: she's devoid of a substance that she's likely using to self-medicate to ease symptoms AND to use as a coping mechanism.


If I could sort of reflect from your other post...you don't need to be hanging-up or laying down the law, but you do need to be firm with her that if she's going to get out and get clean and stay clean, she needs to start dealing with the addiction and the mental health issues NOW. Not upon release. Not shortly before release. NOW. It sounds like, on the whole, you're starting to get life together, and my advice to you would be to continue on that path, do what you need to do to stay focused, positive, and doing what you need to do to take care of yourself (since you can't take care of her if you're not taking care of yourself, obviously....hard lesson to learn, and it sounds like you've been learning it the hard way, hopefully with some positive results for yourself going forward regardless of what happens with the relationship.)


Remember: you're only as strong as your weakest link. Same goes for her. So yes, FIRM (which I think is the point you were TRYING to make in the other post, but it came off a bit...much?) But supportive. To be a bumper sticker for a moment: Empower her, don't enable her.


Hopefully she will find some recovery from her problems and start sorting this all out and become an active, productive member of the relationship. If not, remember: make sure you're taking care of yourself. And if that ultimately means cutting bait (trust, easier said than done,) know where your line is drawn and stand firm on that, too.


-E
__________________
The Colorblind Moderator (I'm not even going to try to use green down here, I'll embarass myself! LOL!) Currently assisting in all forums and actively monitoring Wives and Girlfriends in Prison and the California forums.

#ByeCDCR #TimesUp #HomeForChristmas
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
girlfriend, girlfriend in prison, plane state jail, tdc

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Just got home tonight and hes acting weird... jbabygirl113 Now That Your Loved One Is Home... 9 12-07-2012 12:27 PM
MY MWI is acting super weird .... DIANA_CHRIS Met While Incarcerated 24 05-07-2009 06:38 PM
DOC automated acting weird this AM RottieMom Georgia Parole, Probation, Work Release & Community Service 6 10-13-2008 05:14 PM
He gets out in 129 days and he is acting weird or maybe I am - help! Isadora PTO Lounge 9 12-03-2003 07:25 PM


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 04:29 PM.
Copyright © 2001- 2017 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics