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Loving a Long-term Sentenced Offender For those whose loved one is serving 10+ years.

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  #1  
Old 01-30-2004, 12:46 PM
chrispro chrispro is offline
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Default How Dare She

THIS IS UNREAL GIRLS ... tell me what you think? i am like speechless i want to scream!!!

i drive up with this girl and meet her in queens. give her 32.00 to get to queens with a cab because I leave to meet her at 615am. i dread the bus. give her 20.00...

this month is very bad for me, financially. so i was going up to see my wonderful husband tomorrow but last night he called me at 10pm and said by the end of call, chris, are you sure you have the money and wont leave yourself short. i said i only have like 120.00 on me to 2/13 he said chris, lets see one another on valentines day 2/14.. he said to me should i start worrying? i said no, everything will be okay.

so i wasnt going to call her at 1030pm to let her know, but i emailed her first thing this am. she wrote me back with me never expecting her response.
that i am inconsiderate and unfair to her to tell her last minute, that i am like no person she ever met, that i am amazing, thanks chris. that she was relying on me to get upstate. i was in shock. i wrote her back. i said how could you, my husband is concerned and your writing me this. she writes back and says instead of me apologizing to her i try to justify it..
she is no friend, just someone who wants to pick someone up for money. we been doing this since october.. she knows i am broke and have been financially strapped this past month she should be considerate and understand like i would be. she is going to pick up 2 women on sunday and get money. she wrote it was to late to call the other girl she rented a car already...
what can i make of this. also there is a lot more between her and the other girl and something that i gave her to hold in her car last weekend that when she told her husband he went off on her and it was so childish of him that he told her he doesnt want her driving with me. it seems like my name is becoming shit between her and the other girl. that when i told my husband last night, he said should i go back and hurt this guy. i said no, dont say anything because then it will be trouble..
now if i tell him this because he said dont come, i want you to have money, for sure this will set him off. but her husband might say something to my husband about this.

what do you think?
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  #2  
Old 01-30-2004, 01:40 PM
chiquita76 chiquita76 is offline
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I think you should find another way to get to the prison, is that possible?
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Old 01-30-2004, 01:58 PM
chrispro chrispro is offline
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oh yes, back to the bus again until i get my license and buy a car.
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Old 01-30-2004, 03:56 PM
tropical1 tropical1 is offline
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stay far away from these people and i know how it is not to have a vehicle i lived in los angeles without a car. giant city crowded i know it sucks, but your stress level and emotional well being is more important than dealing with this kind of drama.

take care
carol
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Old 01-30-2004, 04:00 PM
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I don't like riding a bus either, but I think it would be far better than having to ride with someone who is not only hostile, but probably crazy. I hope things get better soon.

Adrienne
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Old 01-30-2004, 08:58 PM
CET CET is offline
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I would have the phone number of any people I was riding with so that I could let them know right away if there were any changes in plans right away. People don't always check their email often, especially before leaving for a long drive.
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Old 01-31-2004, 12:10 AM
tamaulipas tamaulipas is offline
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One of the churches here in WA offers a "free bus ride" to all the prisons in the state for friends and families on inmates visiting lists (a place to stay over night too if it's across the state). I've never taken it becaue I do have my own car (still have to drive 350 miles) but I think I'll take it a few times to see how it is and get to know some of the other family members. Maybe you could check with DOC visiting and see if they know if there is something like that available in your area too.
You've got enough on your plate girl - take the high rode and tell them sorry, thanks but no thanks. Besides, if there's conflict outside and it gets around inside - your man may end up in the hole - don't risk him too.
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Old 02-02-2004, 09:53 AM
chrispro chrispro is offline
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i do have her phone number but i wasnt calling her at 1045pm on thursday night after my husband and i hung up so at 9am i emailed her friday... also my husband would never go to the hole, her husband is afraid of my husband. paul said never would her husband approach me for her husband to say your wife screwed my wife.. i was broke and my husband said save your money.... my husband is 6 ft 285 lbs and strong as a bull...
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Old 02-02-2004, 09:54 AM
chrispro chrispro is offline
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i been taking the bus for 2 years now, never a free bus, i dont like that. i would pay the 30.00 but this was helpful to be picked up at my house and spend a full visit with him... but to get mad that i have no money and my husband was worried that is a bit out of control.
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Old 02-04-2004, 01:21 PM
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Yhea I agree with everyone else, it will be less stress on you. I would also tell your husband everything.
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Old 03-17-2009, 05:18 PM
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Trust me, I hear yah about the free bus, but this is the shit that happens when you decide to "ride" with others...I say try and stay to yourself as much as you can...you certainly don't need extra problems or drama in your life, seeing a loved one in prison is enough drama...
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Old 03-27-2009, 01:05 PM
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I think it would be a good idea to get to the prison independently… less drama that way.

In reading your entire post it sounds to me like she was probably hurt and frustrated more than anything because she had probably already factored your part of the money into the trip and probably not being as understanding as she should have been. It would have been nice of you to have given her some kind of early heads up but since you didn’t know until the night before there wasn’t much more you could do about it..life happens, right?

As far as her husband goes about getting mad-he was probably just concerned for his wife just as your husband was concerned for you and the money situation, does that make sense?

I wish you the best! Happy traveling
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Old 05-14-2009, 02:37 PM
Proboscis Proboscis is offline
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what an unfortunate situation. I could see how the misunderstanding happened and frustrations boiled over. I prefer to drive my own car and not share expenses with people I don't know, that's what my husband and I agreed on. Good luck with finding transportation.
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Old 05-14-2009, 06:51 PM
SouthernGyrl SouthernGyrl is offline
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Honestly, I think she has a right to be angry. You should have called as soon as you knew this because it was important information. The young lady who rented the car could have downgraded if she knew in advance of your plans not to go. You should have called regardless of the time once you found out. Bringing your husband into this is also a bad idea. If you know it will cause problems and confusion why even do it? Be wise and not vengeful.

With that being said, I think she was rude. Even though she was upset, she still had the repsonsibility of being an adult about this.
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