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Remembering Those That Passed While In Prison This forum is for all those - family, friends, spouses, wives, husbands, significant others, brothers, sisters, parents, and children - who lost a loved one or friend while incarcerated.

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  #101  
Old 06-21-2016, 06:05 PM
Huskers Huskers is offline
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So sorry for your loss. Prayers!
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  #102  
Old 09-07-2016, 03:24 AM
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I just adore him. Plain and simple.
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"One of the casualties of [prison life] is the numbness of the heart"- Man on Fire

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There is no question that in virtually all circumstances in which people are doing things in order to get rewards, extrinsic tangible rewards undermine intrinsic motivation." the New Scientist (12th April 2011, pp 40-43)

" Every life you touch, every fear or pain you ease, every loved ones' heart that you ease the burden from is the reason you are here."
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  #103  
Old 09-08-2016, 06:53 PM
Tee4533 Tee4533 is offline
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Sorry for your loss. What happened?
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  #104  
Old 09-08-2016, 07:07 PM
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He died.
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"One of the casualties of [prison life] is the numbness of the heart"- Man on Fire

"
There is no question that in virtually all circumstances in which people are doing things in order to get rewards, extrinsic tangible rewards undermine intrinsic motivation." the New Scientist (12th April 2011, pp 40-43)

" Every life you touch, every fear or pain you ease, every loved ones' heart that you ease the burden from is the reason you are here."
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  #105  
Old 09-17-2016, 12:42 PM
jadah jadah is offline
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I was late for our wedding...https://youtu.be/M-C-IbkuNWs?list=RDM-C-IbkuNWs

so I guess this is pay back.. now I am waiting to see him again https://youtu.be/8RjvGhCb1h8

He is always worth it.
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"One of the casualties of [prison life] is the numbness of the heart"- Man on Fire

"
There is no question that in virtually all circumstances in which people are doing things in order to get rewards, extrinsic tangible rewards undermine intrinsic motivation." the New Scientist (12th April 2011, pp 40-43)

" Every life you touch, every fear or pain you ease, every loved ones' heart that you ease the burden from is the reason you are here."
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  #106  
Old 11-09-2016, 08:43 PM
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I guess the whole purpose is how are we managing our time- specifically "Are we doing Time " or is "time doing us"?

Time can do us on the outside too. It can grind us into exhaustion with just enough to function the next day only to collapse into sleep the next day over and over and over.
There is a difference between giving up, becoming bitter and accepting your circumstances only to continue to seek hope.
I think it was my husband's greatest gift to me.
He was a habitual offender so we did more than one bid and how many jail terms. He just knew how to do his time. He made the most of it while he was here. He wasn't bitter, just angry.
I have needed quite a while before the weight of his loss has subsided some. But he showed me the best way he knew how that I wasn't promised tomorrow, so enjoy and make the best of the circumstances that I find myself in.
I hope everyone else does too.
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"One of the casualties of [prison life] is the numbness of the heart"- Man on Fire

"
There is no question that in virtually all circumstances in which people are doing things in order to get rewards, extrinsic tangible rewards undermine intrinsic motivation." the New Scientist (12th April 2011, pp 40-43)

" Every life you touch, every fear or pain you ease, every loved ones' heart that you ease the burden from is the reason you are here."
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  #107  
Old 11-10-2016, 05:19 AM
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Quote:
But he showed me the best way he knew how that I wasn't promised tomorrow, so enjoy and make the best of the circumstances that I find myself in.
Timely advice that can be applied to a variety of circumstances. Definitely the grieving process is sporadic and learning to accept that "now" is all we have helps with it. Tomorrow is a fantasy as it has not yet happened. And sometimes, in "now", we need to simply accept that "now" kinda sucks but things will not always be this way.
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  #108  
Old 01-05-2017, 11:51 PM
Tanya4Tipton Tanya4Tipton is offline
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I feel you as I go down this road now Deep and sincere condolences it is just aweful i am sorry anyone has to go through this we all are going to die but to loose our husbands in there it really is different to the point of there will never be closure for me Again i am sorry for your loss of your husband. Tanya4Tipton
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  #109  
Old 01-06-2017, 10:44 AM
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Jadah, I also am so sorry for your loss and hope you are learning to live your life with some good memories of him. May I ask of you some info that if you feel to painful... just don't answer...understandable. My Brother is 74 & in poor health with several issues.....Did the Prison call you or did the Medical examiner & was it in a timely manner ? I saw someone on this forum got notified a week later. Also did the prison send you all personal/legal papers ?
Hes in Florida....Im in CT....... I havent heard from him since the week of christmas & I'm worried. Like I said...too painful,no need to answer but I'm sure its a question a lot of us have. Thankyou for any info & live well with fond memories
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  #110  
Old 02-24-2017, 05:17 PM
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Bevyp, please pardon my delay in responding to your post.

You asked if I was notified immediately.
Yes I was. The Warden for the night called me immediately. My husband liked that guy, and I heard the catch in his throat as he had to tell me.
I had just that same afternoon seen my husband and he looked bad. After visit was over, I called back to the Warden's office and told them to go check on him, that he looked bad and needed to go to the hospital. Of course I was told my husband needed to put in a sick call.
Well my husband did...the last one he ever would. All his buddies had their families calling me first thing in the morning, the second the phone was turned on. His buddies had their families meet me at the funeral home.
He took care of me the best way he knew how.
I still miss him. I mean I function every day. I only think about joining him every month or so instead of every day now.
I know this is just learned helplessness. I have no control and in prison the inmates have no control. So Outwardly, I am "moving forward" and "making progress" but the hole in me is as big as the Grand Canyon.
I've heard the second year of grieving is worse than the first. 'Cuz then you are awake from the dream and you know he's really not coming back.
I am stronger than I was but so much more fragile at the same time. It comes out in funny ways, because even my dogs have picked up on my learned helplessness too.

Thank you for asking. I am sorry to write a book. I am trying hard to support others....the best therapy I have in place right now is work. And I do that a lot.
I hope you have heard from your brother by now. Let us know.

PS. I found the only other Wedding picture we had. He sent to me from the prison "Newspaper" and even though it was small, the smiles on both of our faces were gigantic. Best thing I ever did.
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"One of the casualties of [prison life] is the numbness of the heart"- Man on Fire

"
There is no question that in virtually all circumstances in which people are doing things in order to get rewards, extrinsic tangible rewards undermine intrinsic motivation." the New Scientist (12th April 2011, pp 40-43)

" Every life you touch, every fear or pain you ease, every loved ones' heart that you ease the burden from is the reason you are here."

Last edited by jadah; 02-24-2017 at 05:19 PM..
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  #111  
Old 03-29-2017, 10:17 AM
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Jadah I am sooooo sorry!!! please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers
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  #112  
Old 03-18-2018, 01:16 AM
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Jadah, I'm not sure if you still check this but I've read every post. You are one strong woman and you both were lucky to have each other. He is proud of you. I hope this finds you in peace.
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❤You aren't just my GREAT LOVE story, you were my BIG BREAK. And Our love story, I know it might not feel like it right now, but I promise its just getting started❤
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  #113  
Old 03-22-2018, 06:15 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jadah View Post
Bevyp, please pardon my delay in responding to your post.

You asked if I was notified immediately.

Yes I was. The Warden for the night called me immediately. My husband liked that guy, and I heard the catch in his throat as he had to tell me.


I had just that same afternoon seen my husband and he looked bad. After visit was over, I called back to the Warden's office and told them to go check on him, that he looked bad and needed to go to the hospital.


Of course I was told my husband needed to put in a sick call.
Well my husband did...the last one he ever would.


All his buddies had their families calling me first thing in the morning, the second the phone was turned on. His buddies had their families meet me at the funeral home.

He took care of me the best way he knew how.
I still miss him. I mean I function every day. I only think about joining him every month or so instead of every day now.

I know this is just learned helplessness. I have no control and in prison the inmates have no control. So Outwardly, I am "moving forward" and "making progress" but the hole in me is as big as the Grand Canyon.
I've heard the second year of grieving is worse than the first. 'Cuz then you are awake from the dream and you know he's really not coming back.
I am stronger than I was but so much more fragile at the same time. It comes out in funny ways, because even my dogs have picked up on my learned helplessness too.

Thank you for asking. I am sorry to write a book. I am trying hard to support others....the best therapy I have in place right now is work. And I do that a lot.

I hope you have heard from your brother by now. Let us know.

PS. I found the only other Wedding picture we had.
He sent to me from the prison "Newspaper" and even though it was small, the smiles on both of our faces were gigantic. Best thing I ever did.


No book to me. I love reading at times longer post,and hi chica. hola. If there was a LIVE Emoticon i.e,crying tears i would be utilizing 10 in this thread.so sad.i just read it. Your only Wedding Pix make me a lil extra-sad.So happy you're having that in your possession.


I ache for you reading these post,and chica may your loved one continue to RIP and continue to live each passing day/night through your beautiful loving spirit and good memories. That is what help keep mi amigo(friend)RIP a long time ago who died and went to heaven way too soon, pero i know he is still alive within me, each time i remember him daily, and a close familia member. May God bless you... Hugs and Blessings. Adios.
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Lead with your MIND + not your heart.
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When it's "real" you're going to know it...

CONSISTENCY..."is key.
loyalty,maturity + respect to his el reina,(his queen)
Without "action" applied to his words, it's not real.#DON'T SETTLE.

Last edited by a.rare.love; 03-22-2018 at 06:18 PM..
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  #114  
Old 04-02-2018, 11:06 PM
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So sorry for your loss...you're in my prayers
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