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LGBTQ+ People in Prison For anyone that has a same sex partner, family member, friend or Pen Pal in prison that is Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Pansexual, or Omnisexual

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  #1  
Old 06-11-2019, 05:20 AM
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Default Is your partner "out" in jail?

How many men or women have a partner that is undetectable? My partner is very masculine...you can't tell by looking or talking to him. It's more my choice that he not be "out" in jail. Not that either of us are ashamed, I just don't and him to have any problems.
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Old 01-10-2020, 08:43 PM
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My boyfriend is very masculine and I doubt anyone would think he was gay. In fact, his lack of the usual gay ‘signs’ initially led me to question if he was scamming me or not, since I know very well about the scams that inmates run on their gay pen pals. I assumed that a masculine guy like him wouldn’t be openly gay in prison but I was dead wrong. He has my pictures hanging up in his cell and when he caught some slack about his ‘boyfriend’ from other inmates, he stood up to them and let them know that yes, he has a boyfriend and that boyfriend is amazing. I’m really really proud of him for being himself even when it might be difficult to do so.
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Old 01-28-2020, 06:05 AM
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My boyfriend is very masculine and I doubt anyone would think he was gay. In fact, his lack of the usual gay ‘signs’ initially led me to question if he was scamming me or not, since I know very well about the scams that inmates run on their gay pen pals. I assumed that a masculine guy like him wouldn’t be openly gay in prison but I was dead wrong. He has my pictures hanging up in his cell and when he caught some slack about his ‘boyfriend’ from other inmates, he stood up to them and let them know that yes, he has a boyfriend and that boyfriend is amazing. I’m really really proud of him for being himself even when it might be difficult to do so.
I understand that. Had my partner and I MWI or via pen pal, I would feel the same. It's harder for the masculine (undetectable) gay men.
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Old 01-31-2020, 01:20 PM
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I understand that. Had my partner and I MWI or via pen pal, I would feel the same. It's harder for the masculine (undetectable) gay men.
I do worry about him being openly gay in prison. He can be cocky in there and I feel like a cocky dude who likes other men is a target. Being gay puts a target on him. It makes him stand out, and in prison that’s not a good thing.
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Old 02-24-2020, 03:12 PM
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I do worry about him being openly gay in prison. He can be cocky in there and I feel like a cocky dude who likes other men is a target. Being gay puts a target on him. It makes him stand out, and in prison that’s not a good thing.
Absolutely
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Old 05-14-2020, 09:23 AM
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Not a good idea to date an "undetectable", DL, closeted, and/or Curious inmate. Here is my story. Things were great initially as we met in the county jail and our relationship steadily progressed into being cellies and so on. My partner at the time was a prominent, go to guy, shot caller guy. People eventually started to snicker and began to raise an eyebrow, but they also knew to not cross him with any questions. I'm very sure that the fellow inmates knew of our relationship status, as we did everything as partners: spades partners, we ate together, he carried my chair to the table that was specifically for their particular race. As I was the only brown inmate at that table. As time went by it just became normal and I think that everyone stopped caring about the status of us. The only strange thing to me was that he was very very private when it came to our affairs inside the cell, this included washing my clothes, making a spread, cleaning the cell. The topic of what we were and where we would be in about 5 years always crossed my mind, and a couple times I dreaded the thoughts of having my heartbroken. As I was facing about one year in the correctional institution and he was facing up to 3 and half with parole being in favor of him. I began to fall deeper and deeper into that bliss of undying love, even knowing that the chances of an us were looking grim. Anyway, I left for prison and he stayed behind and I lost contact with him immediately, only because of the inmate to inmate correspondence laws. I still hung on to the hopes of a lasting relationship. A year later I finished my time and walked out of the Walls unit a free man, free and clear that is. As he was still waiting for his transfer out to begin his time. We reconnected and I began to visit him more and I also set up a securus account. Eventually a year and half to his parole hearing we grew apart and separated. That was in 2018. He was due for parole about two weeks ago but is still locked up because of programs that need completion prior to release, he was approved. Going forward, so the day that we seperated was the last time I spoke to him. I did receive a birthday card both birthdays in 2018 and 2019, but never replied or even thought of even sending a thanks via jpay. To conclude this and to answer your question. I really don't know, all I know is that what he told me was what I was to believe. That he was single. This was probably one of the worst heart breaks I have ever endured, I did the typical dumb a** moves while being blinded by love, what I perceived was love. Today I am dreading that Facebook message, phone call, or even a visit to my home. I think I know what Im supposed to do but on the same note I know what he is capable of doing to me at first glance. Which is absolutely nothing and I'll be back at square one deep in love. I don't know what to do and i suffer from extreme anxiety everytime I get an unknown caller to my phone. I totally forgot what the topic was here, or even if this rant is fitted for this thread. Oh well, I wish everyone the best and I hope that you can only follow your hearts and use your best discernment when making decisions.
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