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When the Relationship is Over... This forum is about discussing your thoughts, feelings and issues now that you and your incarcerated (or formerly incarcerated) loved one are no longer together. (This forum is NOT for bashing - please read the rules before posting.)

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  #1  
Old 05-12-2020, 08:19 PM
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Default It's been awhile: He's been out for a year

Tomorrow, he's been out for a year.

First of all, i found him in pen pal-site in October 2017. Then we became close very soon, later lovers. We talked on the phone and wrote letters across 4000miles. Over Atlantic. It was love, which never got tired. t was an adventure. We love the same songs, we love same things and each other. I felt like nothing could come in between us, even though i never quite believed that it really could happen. Later, he made me believe. He was like a joker in my straight flush. I didn't need him. I had everything. But joker could mix it up and I'd still have everything.


Things started to change around February-March 2018. We were silent. Or he was. For a long long time. Ofc he blamed on me everything. Don't know why. Over the summer i sent him msgs how i love him. I tried to understand everything he ever told me and be there for him. I saw weird narcissistic vibes on him. When he didn't ever apologize and i apologized things that i didnt need to

Well i guess it was maybe around christmas when we talked again. Maybe few messages on autumn before. So we started talking again and we tried to be just friends. Well it didn't go as planned. We were there again.. in the clouds. Planning fututre together. Me sending pictures of my hometown. We were planning trip together all over the world. He was supposed to come here. Talking about life and how much I've grown. How much he's done work that he's able to get out on May 2019.

So we talked on and off that spring before he was getting out. We talked some, when he got out. We talked videocalls on snapchat. Sent pictures and talked. I only got something from him if i sexted. But if i wanted to just talk, i wouldn't get that. it always involved sexual tension. Well summer went by talking and not then talking and not. He didn't even congratulate me on my bday. More and more after last fall, we havent talked. One time he said, that he's going back for jail few months cuz he broke his parole and he's gonna write me and tell everything. Well that day didn't come. Once he called me and i was in car with friends, so i said that wait a bit im just about to head home. And i call you then. He called again and i couldnt answer. So then went about less than 5minutes and i tried to call and he didnt answer. There went by weeks he suddenly he calls saying he loves me and that's why he's hard on me. And some other bullshit.

I was tired of seeing his snaps about sayin "love f***ing bi***es in facetime" and suddenly he got a girl and snapped about her.
Thank god i was already forgotten him. Someway. Then i deleted him on my snapchat. I couldn't watch that. He rubbed that on my face when he didnt even bother to watch my life..

Now its been a year since he's been out. Weird, that he had 1-2 years left when we met and now he's been out for a year. And all that what we had... It just was. He came into my life in a time, when i needed something. He helped me alot. He also broke me. I almost lost everything in my own life for him. I was in very bad situation. But time heals a broken wound..

I still miss him. And what we had. It was everything. It was true lovestory and romance. Like in a movie. I think thats why it caught me. The adventure i was seeking all along. Somehow i have a feeling that this isnt over yet. Someway, somehow we are going to talk someday. If we will... fine. If won't. Okay. I have all letters in safe and once i thought id burn them but i cant.. i want to remember.

I'm always gonna miss him and love him, in some twisted way. And i hope that he misses me too and maybe thinks of me sometimes. The Aryan Princess as he used to say to me.

G eazy and Halsey - Him & I was our song. He said it to me and it still reminds me of him.

"in the end it's him and i"




.ps. He also never asked money or anything for me. I only sent him couple stamps from jpay time to time but that was all. Pure money he never asked.
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Old 05-13-2020, 01:34 AM
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I'm sorry to burst your bubble but if he truly loved you he wouldn't have dated someone else nor would he have used you for sexting or treated you so badly. The other thing is if a person in the U.S does more than twelve month in jail he would not be allowed to travel the world, due to international travel laws around the globe. If i were you I'd just be thankful that he's out of my life.
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Old 05-19-2020, 05:29 AM
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I agree with the above poster. Let him go. Your time together is over. Go no contact and try to heal yourself. Just move on because he obviously did a long time ago.
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Old 05-19-2020, 08:01 AM
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Firebrand Firebrand is offline
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Default Needles In The Haystack & The Closeness Of Enemies

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lumimarja View Post
Tomorrow, he's been out for a year.

First of all, i found him in pen pal-site in October 2017. Then we became close very soon, later lovers. We talked on the phone and wrote letters across 4000miles. Over Atlantic. It was love, which never got tired. t was an adventure. We love the same songs, we love same things and each other. I felt like nothing could come in between us, even though i never quite believed that it really could happen. Later, he made me believe. He was like a joker in my straight flush. I didn't need him. I had everything. But joker could mix it up and I'd still have everything.


Things started to change around February-March 2018. We were silent. Or he was. For a long long time. Ofc he blamed on me everything. Don't know why. Over the summer i sent him msgs how i love him. I tried to understand everything he ever told me and be there for him. I saw weird narcissistic vibes on him. When he didn't ever apologize and i apologized things that i didnt need to

Well i guess it was maybe around christmas when we talked again. Maybe few messages on autumn before. So we started talking again and we tried to be just friends. Well it didn't go as planned. We were there again.. in the clouds. Planning fututre together. Me sending pictures of my hometown. We were planning trip together all over the world. He was supposed to come here. Talking about life and how much I've grown. How much he's done work that he's able to get out on May 2019.

So we talked on and off that spring before he was getting out. We talked some, when he got out. We talked videocalls on snapchat. Sent pictures and talked. I only got something from him if i sexted. But if i wanted to just talk, i wouldn't get that. it always involved sexual tension. Well summer went by talking and not then talking and not. He didn't even congratulate me on my bday. More and more after last fall, we havent talked. One time he said, that he's going back for jail few months cuz he broke his parole and he's gonna write me and tell everything. Well that day didn't come. Once he called me and i was in car with friends, so i said that wait a bit im just about to head home. And i call you then. He called again and i couldnt answer. So then went about less than 5minutes and i tried to call and he didnt answer. There went by weeks he suddenly he calls saying he loves me and that's why he's hard on me. And some other bullshit.

I was tired of seeing his snaps about sayin "love f***ing bi***es in facetime" and suddenly he got a girl and snapped about her.
Thank god i was already forgotten him. Someway. Then i deleted him on my snapchat. I couldn't watch that. He rubbed that on my face when he didnt even bother to watch my life..

Now its been a year since he's been out. Weird, that he had 1-2 years left when we met and now he's been out for a year. And all that what we had... It just was. He came into my life in a time, when i needed something. He helped me alot. He also broke me. I almost lost everything in my own life for him. I was in very bad situation. But time heals a broken wound..

I still miss him. And what we had. It was everything. It was true lovestory and romance. Like in a movie. I think thats why it caught me. The adventure i was seeking all along. Somehow i have a feeling that this isnt over yet. Someway, somehow we are going to talk someday. If we will... fine. If won't. Okay. I have all letters in safe and once i thought id burn them but i cant.. i want to remember.

I'm always gonna miss him and love him, in some twisted way. And i hope that he misses me too and maybe thinks of me sometimes. The Aryan Princess as he used to say to me.

G eazy and Halsey - Him & I was our song. He said it to me and it still reminds me of him.

"in the end it's him and i"




.ps. He also never asked money or anything for me. I only sent him couple stamps from jpay time to time but that was all. Pure money he never asked.
I won’t name any names or locations, but I know of someone out your way (Northern Europe) that married someone who’d been in prison here in the U.S. in what started out as a long distance relationship. And so, it does happen, people do meet, fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. It does really happen, but it can also be a needle in the haystack experience for many of you. Often times, its more wishful thinking than it is anything else while they’re locked up that proves to be nothing more than a way to pass the time and amuse oneself. That truth reveals itself when they get out and all those “promises in the dark” made like Pat Benatar once sang about come into the light.
And……..it’s a hard thing to say, but it’s almost as if what started out as two lonely people looking for love in the face of loneliness sadly turns into the realization that it was all an illusion. It hurts like hell, too. It always hurts worse when you give your heart someone and they seemingly prove to be an enemy of sorts. If that’s the case, it would have been much better to have kept him closer to you and with the distance and all that is not possible.
Many of us can turn out be a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Sometimes it’s intentional on our part. Sometimes it’s accidental and sometimes it’s just the nature of who and what we are as human beings no matter what kind of relationship it is or what the circumstances may be.
It’s important to keep one of us in prison close to your heart if love is really what it’s all about to you. You need to know the truth when it comes to “matters of the heart” and not just for the sake of the loving part of it, but as the Chinese military leader Sun Tzu once said around 400 B.C. “keep your friends close and your enemies closer” because what you go through with one of us in prison when it turns out bad is beyond bad in many ways. It changes you or can change you for the worse.
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