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Old 02-18-2015, 07:11 PM
glor35 glor35 is offline
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Is it the way I canít breathe when I talk to you?
Or Is it the way the anticipation builds up when your ringtone comes up?
I feel like every time your voice comes up i'm bombarded with emotions
I pretend im okay
I pretend I donít care
but I do.
I do all of this for you.
I pretend I donít like you,
But iím scared If I do I will regret it.
We constantly argue
but thatís what makes our relationship stronger.
And I hate to say it but I Don't like that Iím growing into you.
I donít like the feeling of having you in my life.
Because all I have known was to learn without you.
To depend on others except you.
I have felt whole without you, and I know that is wrong.
But feeling whole means itís wrong I donít want to be right.
I purposely push you way,
I tend to make arguments with you.
Because I know you are in a position where you canít do anything.
but listen.
And Iím scared to tell you the truth.
I am scared to let you in.
Because for years I have shut you out of the life that is mine.
When I build walls to keep you away,
its like every word you say is 1 brick taken down from my stone wall.
I canít help the way I feel towards you,
What has been done is done,
but what is happening can be stopped.
And I intend too.
No one will ever really know why I am so against you.
Except me.
But thatís why I am writing this poem,
to tell you why I am so against you.
Maybe because Of the pain my heart felt every time I saw my friends so happy with their own parent.
And how they would ask both of their parents for decision making.
They can talk for hours with their dad if they wanted.
They can spend the night together and have the best relationships with them.
And how they would love them in spite of how hurt their dad made them feel.
But I can never have a relationship like that with you.
I don;t have you in my life physically,
I donít have you in the way I want.
And I will want to have hour conversations, but I can;t because we are on a constant time limit.
15 minutes
In those 15 minutes
I choose to not ask why you arenít here
In those 15 minutes I wait until the last minutes ends,
so I can breathe again and think what my life would have been.
In those 15 minutes I am Furious with the pain you have put me through.
But in those 15 I fake a smile and laugh like everything is okay.
But itís not.
You will be here soon,
and I will not lie Iím not ready.
As Head strong I usually am
You make my mind go crazy,
The pain and tension you give under those 15 minutes
I will only receive for once a drop of sympathy.

written by mary milan
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Old 02-18-2015, 08:28 PM
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ChaseLove ChaseLove is offline
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Nice poem! My emotions exactly
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Old 02-06-2018, 03:42 AM
smith.jr smith.jr is offline
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Thanks for sharing!
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